Disclaimer: Not mine, a girl can only wish…
This Love…
Who are we to be emotional? Who are you to make me feel so good? This love is be and end all…
He knew it was wrong, there was no other possibility, it was wrong it had to be, and yet it felt so good. A blanket of security, his brother had said mocking him, and yes, it was. For the first time he had find one, he had find his personal blanket, the one they had taken away when father had consider he was old enough not to be carrying a stupid blanket along, to human eyes two years old. He had cried that night probably the first and the last time he had done it, but father was unmovable he did not gave it back. His brother had woken up by the cries and tried to console him without result. Since then he had tried to become his blanket, trying to protect him from almost everything possible, starting a game that neither one of them seem in a hurry to win. His brother would try to gain territory on his hearth by protecting him and he would push him out by running away and burying himself in drugs.
The so-call blanket had entered his life, when he had last expected, when he was in more need of it. At first the so casual way they had meet had raised his suspicions, maybe it was an agent of his brother, it would not have been the first time there have been many since boarding school and all the way to Uni, the so-call good friends until he found out they were working for Mycroft to control his every movement. The meeting had been through a mutual friend, so mutual that Sherlock had only talk to him maybe twice and all the time they knew each other. He had appeared in search of lodgings too, fitting so well in with his plans for independence. The first time he saw him he knew it would be a pity if he were working for Mycroft, he knew it would break his heart if he did. Days had pass, events had happen, they had become friends such a silly word with such a deep meaning, he had become use to waking up and find him around watching telly,; yelling at him because of the mess, only to finally give up and start picking up. He had become used to having someone listening even when pretending to be mad at something he had forgot or done or both. And then she entered the scene…
Sarah her name was, it had been the only actual word he had heard coming out of John's mouth on the whole conversation. Sarah, such a common name and yet it found a way to freeze Sherlock's brains in less than a second. The relation had develop faster than he had wished; one night they had gone in a date and the next one, she would not leave their flat. It was not as if he did not know what John stand for, but maybe just maybe he had hope for at least more time but it was too much to ask for, they had an argument, John left the flat furious. He waited for him to turn back after watching him strode out of the flat. He waited with an apology on his mouth, but John did not turn back, and Sherlock wished for the second time he could control minds and make him come back. Why did she have to win? The explosion had happen, almost on his face and he had woken up to a panicked Miss Hudson who had already called his brother. His first tough was to John. Who was he kidding John did not care; he was probably now sleeping comfortably with her next to his side. His blanket had been taken all over again.
Morning happen and his only regret had been not being able to change the way his brother handle the events with the news, such a sensationalist manner, at least he got what he was lodging for. John had entered the room with concern written all over his face follow by guilt. Sherlock decided to play it cool acting as if his heartbeat was raising at the solo thought of John caring for him and even more at the fact that he had slept on the sofa and not on her bed.
"I can't." –The surprising dialogue between brothers did not affect John anymore, he was now used to this to endless conversations.
"Can't?" –The real question that John was late to hear had been "Why don't you just come up and say it? Tell him how you feel." Oblivious John thought they were talking about a case, and Mycroft could only think on the many ways to making feel sorry for what he had done to his little brother.
"The stuff I got on is just too big I cannot spare the time." –Who could blame him, you do not get hurt more than once only not to learn something, plus it was wrong in so many ways.
This love will be your downfall.
Author's Note: I am sorry is nonbeta, and all I can say in my defense is that I am huge fan of the books read them all, and yet I still find it fascinating every time I read it them again.