Title: I'm Not That Girl
Summery: Martha Jones just couldn't hold it in any longer. Song-Fic dedicated to my kittie! "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own Martha Jones, Rose Tyler, or The Doctor. I do however own Tyler Jace. I do not own the song "I'm Not That Girl". I do not own Wicked.
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to my wonderful muse Kittie. We geek over Wicked and Doctor Who so it was about time we combined the two.
Martha hated the fact that he had never looked her way. She hated the fact that she was always just second best to her! She also hated the fact that she wasn't strong enough to shake the feelings of jealousy. The woman she was jealousy of was gone, she was never coming back, and he was hurting. But all Martha could do was stand back, love him from a distance, and hope someday he would heal. But she couldn't wait for him any longer, and that fact alone hurt her deeper then any wound she had ever received.
"You're doing it again Mar." Tyler Jace was leaning against her office doorframe staring at her through his sunglasses. He always wore them, no matter where he was. She had asked him once about them, but he had just shrugged and asked her why it mattered to her. Tyler was an odd man, a mythology major in college; he joined UNIT as a consultant, but she wasn't sure what he consulted them on. Another thing she had never gotten a clear answer to.
"I'm doing what again?" Martha asked as Tyler spun a chair around and sat down in it backwards. The guy acted like a teenager more than the almost thirty year old that he was. But Martha liked his company. He was odd, and he reminded her of him.
"I could feel it from my office up stairs." He pointed to his own head and gave her a smirk before pulling out a CD and pointing it towards her. "Jealousy is a nasty emotion Mar, it'll eat away at you until that's all you can feel." He gave her a meaningful look, or at least she thought it was, before setting the CD down and walking from the office without another word.
Martha was used to Tyler just showing up with something for her, just something random. A game, a picture, a bottle of some Asian soda, candy, even on occasion an article he had dug up from some tabloid that told of a sighting of the disappearing Blue Box. These things normally were for her amusement, and to get her mind off of whatever she had been thinking of moments before. He was good at that, and she wasn't sure how he knew she had been thinking of anything. Tyler Jace was an oddity.
Martha put the CD into her computer and frowned when a black screen came up. Did Tyler send her a computer virus? She shook her head, even if Tyler was rarely without his own computer, she was sure he didn't know how to create computer viruses. She watched silently as white writing starting appearing on the screen.
"Turn on the speakers Mar."
A simple sentence, and Martha followed it without a thought. Her ears picked up the soft piano melody floating around her as she continued to watch the black screen. More of the white writing started to form on the screen and she smiled softly as she read them.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
She blinked as her eyes started to water. What had Tyler been thinking she was thinking of, to send her a song like this? She shook her head as images of her first meeting with the Doctor started to appear in her head. Just like magic. She let a soft smile appear on her lips as she remembered his lips pressing to hers; she had felt dizzy and light on her feet then. As if nothing in the world could pull her back to Earth. It felt like heaven. But the images didn't last. She frowned as the last line struck her, what was this?
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Martha was sure she had heard the song before but couldn't place it. But it was really starting to get to her. Tyler had said something a while back, something along those exact lines. Had he always known about her love of the Doctor? Was he trying to help her get over him in the best way he knew how? Martha shook her head as tears started to well up in her eyes.
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Would they have been able to be in love if She hadn't of been in his life first? Would they have even met if she hadn't been sucked into that other world, or where ever she is? Martha wished she knew the answers to those questions. She closed her eyes and let the tears flow down her cheeks as she pictured it.
Running hand and hand from some unknown enemy. Laughing at the odd looks of the people of Old England. Going to see the building of Big Ben, The Eiffel Tower, The Great Wall of China.
But her mind wouldn't let her dwell on the thoughts of what might have been. She snapped open her eyes as the music stopped and her phone rang. She looked down at it, wiped at her eyes and picked it up, her hands slightly shaking.
"Martha Jones." She was grateful that her voice didn't sound like it had been shaking.
"Why Miss Jones, it has been a long time hasn't it?" The voice on the other end made her heart leap into her throat and she blushed and coughed. She couldn't believe she was hearing his voice, she had just been thinking of him not a moment ago. Could he have heard her thoughts?
"Doctor, how are you?" She tried to sound happy to hear from him but knew that something had to have come up. Maybe he was canceling on their monthly visit? Or maybe he was calling to beg her to come back? She felt her face heat up at that thought.
"Oh you know, the usual. Running from some crazy alien bent on destroying the universe. Same old same old. Listen Martha, I kind of have a problem and I can't get back to Earth for a while. Thing we can reschedule?" Martha could feel her heart breaking as he spoke. He was always rescheduling coming back to see her. Nothing ever changed with him.
"Sure, I'm kind of busy around here anyways. More and more things popping up everyday you know?" She heard the Doctor laugh and before he had really realized it, their conversation was over and she was leaning back to listen to the song again.
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl
"I had… it was recently… a friend of mine. Rose, her name was. Rose… and… we were together."
"She… Not that you're replacing her!"
"Rose would know. A friend of mine, Rose, right now she'd say exactly the right thing"
Martha felt more tears slide down her cheeks as she thought of the times he had spoken of the girl he had lost. The beautiful blonde Rose. Martha was jealous of the girl, even if she had never met her. She hated her, why had she gotten herself into such a position where she had to leave the Doctor? Was she trying to get back to him? Had she given up on him? He sure hadn't forgotten her. He claimed it was impossible to see her again, but what if he had only told her that to stop her from asking? What if he was trying to find a way back to her, and the whole time he was with her, Martha felt her chest tightening. The Doctor had loved Rose, loved her with every bit of his heart.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
Martha listened to the last part of the song and then popped the CD out and held it close to her chest. The song fit her perfectly. She would have to thank Tyler later for the song. But first she needed to see him. She still loved the Doctor, but it was time to move on with her life. More on and forget the Doctor and his beautiful prefect Rose.
She picked up her phone and dialed a number she knew all to well a soft smile appearing on her face as his voice washed over her.
"Tom, how about some lunch. On me." It might take her some time, but Martha WAS going to move on. Nothing in the universe was going to stop her. Nothing.
ELSEWHERE
Rose Tyler stared up at the midnight sky counting the stars. She had done this every night since she had arrived in the Parallel World. She started to hum softly to herself as she felt tears pricking at her eyes. She wasn't sure where the song had come from, but she knew it fit her so fell. As she counted more of the stars the words fell from her lips in a soft melody.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart:
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
Rose pulled her feet up to her chest as the images of her Doctor with another girl swam in front of her eyes. He had to have moved on, he always did. Maybe the woman her mind had made up was really there with him now. Taking care of him, maybe even loving him. She wiped at her eyes before standing up and heading back to her car.
Bad Wolf Bay was beautiful, but she had a job to get back to. Torchwood waited for nobody.