Disclaimer: These charcters are not mine, nor are any of the places. If Sevvy and Remy were mine, they'd still be alive :'(
This is my first ever attempt at, well writing, really so if you think it's worth me continuing or you think the story is rubbish and i shouldn't be allowed near paper please just leave me a little comment and i'll be your personal slave forever lol
I do have a lot of ideas so if I get a positive response I plan to go through all of their time at Hogwarts and onto their time over Harry's years.
Summary: This is the story of Severus Snape and Remus Lupin, two young boys in Hogwarts school trying to fit in and finding one another. They develop feelings for each other, but can they turn into something more?
Chapter 1: Start Somewhere
As soon as the words 'a project in pairs' left the Potions Master's mouth, Remus beamed with excitement. This was the kind of opportunity he had been waiting months for. James and Sirius always worked together, without fail. Peter had particular trouble in the subject and received extra help from the professor instead of working solely with another student. Most students already had someone that they were friends with to work with in Potions. Remus, however, had nobody else he was close to aside from James, Sirius and Peter and one person he craved to be close to.
"Mr Snape, you haven't got a partner, have you?" Professor Slughorn sweept the room quickly with his eyes and spotted Remus, very much alone. "Ahh you can partner with Mr Lupin! Mr Lupin, over here please!"
Remus tried to hide the wide smile that was threatening to surface on his face as he sat himself next to a dark-haired, pale boy with a perfected sneer on his face. Everyone saw Severus Snape as unfriendly, nasty, ugly, snarky and a loner. Remus, however, saw straight through his superficial analysis of the boy. Knowing himself how to hide a part of yourself and worrying about the impression you give to others, he knew immediately that Severus Snape was not all he seemed.
Yes, he was undeniably quiet. But so was Remus. Just because he wasn't the chattiest member of the class didn't mean he was unfriendly or that he had nothing to say. From Severus' continuous high marks in most classes it was obvious he was intelligent, so he did possess the ability to string words together to form a coherent sentence. Yes, most perceived him to be a loner. But did Slytherins really do the whole 'friends' thing? Most were cocky, arrogant, selfish and fiercely competitive whilst not playing by the rules. Severus was none of these things; he did not acknowledge his strong position as top in many classes, he did not play up in lessons or refuse to complete his homework with the retort that he didn't need the practice to ace the exams at the end of the year. Perhaps Severus and the other Slytherins were not compatible, maybe Severus didn't really belong in Slytherin. His cruel taunts and snide comments rolled off his tongue with considerable ease, though Remus quickly recognised this as not an attack, but a defence mechanism. He spent a lot of time in the library with his face submersed in a thick, dusty book which Remus knew because he himself was frequently in there doing homework or extra reading. He himself enjoyed reading, so why shouldn't others? Ugly. Remus tensed whenever he heard anyone call Severus that. To him, Severus was one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever had the pleasure to meet. His black hair fell elegantly over his forehead, stopping just at his dark eyes that had such a richness to them with a hint of mystery. His face was pale, just like Remus' and it had an air of femininity due to his defined cheekbones, whilst remaining quite masculine with his strong jaw. His lips were thin and always pulled down at the corners, which upset Remus, as he longed to see the other boy smile; to smile at him. Just thinking about it made him shiver. To him, Severus Snape was perfect.
"Hey, Severus. Looks like you're stuck with me for this project." Remus said, pulling out a quill from his bag and placing it on the desk in front of him.
"It won't be for long, thank Merlin. Let's just get this over and done with as quickly as we can." Severus retorted.
"Oh. Right." Severus must have recognised the sadness in Remus' reply as he turned towards the sandy-haired boy.
"I mean, a Sytherin and a Griffindor Potions partners?" He said quickly, "what Griffindor wants to work with a Slytherin?"
"I do," Remus replied so quietly, he wasn't entirely sure if he did say them or whether he just thought them.
"Really?" Severus replied in a harsh, seemingly mocking tone.
Remus looked into the deep, dark eyes and saw a glimmer of something he had never before seen in Severus' eye but was unsure if he imagined it or not. "Really." Severus' lip twitched slightly at the corner, which Remus knew instantly was the beginnings of a smile and knew immediately that he was not imagining anything. The bell, however, prevented it from truly forming.
"I suggest you meet with your project partner during the weekend to decide which potion you will be attempting. Remember, the more difficult options will get you a much higher grade, but if you get it wrong it can lead to a fail. Presenting me a perfect potion from the easier options will still allow you to pass. Class dismissed." Slughorn roared over the racket of thirty students running towards the exit.
Remus purposely spilt the contents of his bag on the floor near his and Severus' desk and waved James and Sirius off when they made to come over and help him. Kneeling on the floor beside the jumbled mess of his belongings, Remus happily saw one pair of black boots fixed to the spot.
"Need a hand?" Said an unsure voice.
Remus looked up at Severus and smiled warmly at him. "I'd love one, thanks."
The smile was not returned, but the gleam in Severus' eye was still apparent as he kneeled down next to Remus. In a true clichéd fashion, they both reached for the same book resulting in Remus' hand resting on top of Severus'. Neither pulled away. Remus looked at the other boy, mixed emotions in his eyes; was this confirmation that his feelings were reciprocated? Severus, however, cleared his throat as soon as Remus turned towards him and pulled his hand away quickly. Throwing a few scattered quills and pieces of parchment into Remus' bag, Severus stood up avoiding the other boy's eye.
"I'll – er – see you Monday then...stupid projects," he muttered quietly, before hurriedly walking to the classroom door.
"But we need to decide on our Potion –" Remus began, but it fell on deaf ears; Severus was already gone.
That night, Severus lay awake with a million different thoughts floating about his mind. Desperately trying to make sense of the day's strange events was not easy. Though it began and ended with one common denominator; Remus Lupin.
Severus had, for some time now, noticed the quiet, shy Griffindor. He had no idea why he looked out for him every meal in the Great Hall, silently wondering what culinary choice he would opt for. Why in every lesson he shared with him he watched his innocent, pale face as he concentrated on the Professor's words, desperately trying to absorb them. He listened to every word he said, though he spoke precious few times in classes, choosing not to raise his hand to answer questions that it was highly probable he knew the answers to. When walking down the corridor, he even managed to go somewhat unnoticed by most people. Always seen with his protectors, Black and Potter with the small, beady eyed Pettigrew that followed them around, seemingly overjoyed to be associated with the two most popular boys in school. Remus, however, never acknowledged the status that Black and Potter brought with them. Although he was, along with Pettigrew, the closest to the two boys, not many people could name him or pick him out in a crowd. It was as though he had the power to become invisible in even the most crowded of places. But Severus always noticed him. It was as though an invisible barrier surrounded the Griffindor, preventing people from getting to know him. A barrier Severus was far too accustomed to himself.
The only thing Severus could not fathom was why he was so interested in Remus Lupin. A Griffindork? The whole lot of them were pathetic, needy, fake and so superficially 'perfect'. A Slytherin like himself should have no interest in a skinny, pale boy from such an opposing House. But he did. It was fast becoming an obsession which, until today, remained hidden in Severus' mind only. But Lupin messed that up. Idiot Griffindor, looking at him with those soft, warm, amber eyes and smiling at him as though he was the most important person in the world.
"I mean, a Sytherin and a Griffindor Potions partners?" He said quickly, "what Griffindor wants to work with a Slytherin?"
"I do,"
"Really?"
"Really."
But what did that even mean? Had Remus noticed him in the same way he'd noticed him? Had he longed for the opportunity to get to know him better? Severus rubbed his eyes and sighed. Of course not, how could he possibly want to get closer to a greasy-haired, sarcastic Slytherin like himself? And how close did Severus want to get to Remus anyway? Friendship was the only thing he wanted, wasn't it? He couldn't possibly fancy him; he wasn't gay. No way. He just found the other boy interesting and a potential friend, that was all. But Remus already had friendship with Black and Potter...he didn't want to compete with those two dunderheads, nor did he think he would be content with a third of the boy's attention, a quarter if you counted Pettigrew. But if he wasn't happy with that then he must...really like him. More-than-is-normal-for-a-teenage-boy like him.
Severus rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow, forcing the truth that he wasn't looking at Remus as a friend out of his head as he willed sleep to take over his body and mind.
Remus was far too excited to sleep. Severus Snape spoke to him today, hell, he even smiled at him! Well, almost. He wondered if he was reading too much into his brief conversation with the Slytherin. Severus could have just been messing with him to get to James and Sirius. It was no secret that they and Severus was somewhat enemies; they never had a good word to say about each other, a hex was a certainty if the three of them passed in the corridor. Did Severus acknowledge his close friendship with the marauders and plan to use him to get to them, feigning hope in his eyes that Remus liked him, pretending to be flustered when their hands touched?
Remus tried to push away the stinging in his eyes that indicated the threat of tears falling. Surely no one was capable of faking emotion in one's eyes purely for revenge. Revenge is an angry and bitter path that no one could follow with tenderness in their voice.
He succeeded in convincing himself that the spark between himself and Severus was very real and that it was noticed by both of them; why else did Severus run off? Falling asleep quicker than usual, Remus lost himself in dreams of Severus Snape's smile.
Severus awoke to a loud bang outside the drapes surrounding his bed. Drawing them back quickly, he jumped out to find Lucius Malfoy with the look of upmost guilt upon his face.
"What are you doing?" Severus asked.
Malfoy shrugged. "Nothing. Why are you up so early?"
"I heard movement, what was it?"
"I fell out of bed, Snape. Any more questions?" Malfoy looked and sounded thoroughly irritated at the disruption of whatever he was doing. Snape was highly suspicious of his room-mate's shifty behaviour, but was still so lost in his own thoughts from last night that he found himself not caring what the other Slytherin was doing.
"Fine. No more questions," Severus replied curtly. "Just try and be just a little more considerate; it's Saturday and I'm now awake at six am because of you."
"Excuse me?" Malfoy's face contorted suddenly with anger. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Snape? Eh?" He stood closer to Severus, a mere inch from his face. His pale blue eyes were cold and uncaring, his threatening posture began to make Severus extremely uncomfortable and nervous.
"Sorry, Lucius," he mumbled, not daring to break the eye contact.
"I don't think you are, but I'll let this slide just this once. I have more important things to do than stand here wasting my breath on a dirty little half-blood like you." His lip curled. "Just take this as a friendly warning, Snape. Now get out of my sight."
Severus didn't need telling twice. He walked as quickly as he could to his wardrobe, yanking out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading, just as quickly, to the bathroom downstairs. When he locked the bathroom door behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. He momentarily forgot himself; everyone knew not to mess with Lucius Malfoy, but in the shock of being woken so abruptly and the muddled thoughts in his brain, Severus was thinking far from clearly.
After showering and changing into his clothes, he opted to magically shrink his pyjamas rather than risk seeing Malfoy again when putting them back in the dormitory. His guess was right; it had just gone six o'clock and he was positive that no one else would be awake this early and in the Great Hall having breakfast, save a Quidditch team trying to cram in extra practice. Knowing he was not about to walk into a crowded room full of people ready to judge him, he relaxed and set off to breakfast without the customary tight knot in his stomach.
The sun had barely risen in the sky when Remus was fully dressed, sitting on his bed and swinging his legs over the edge. He was far too excited to sleep; overnight he had formulated a plan to go and see Severus with the cover of needing to speak to him about the Potions project. He hoped, however, to persuade the other boy to spend the whole day with him and prayed by the end of it to know for sure Severus Snape's feelings towards him.
He was secretly glad that Sirius and James were still fast asleep, the former snoring gently. Remus had no idea how the two of them would react to the knowledge that he, Remus, had the mother of all crushes on a Slytherin. More importantly, the very Slytherin that they themselves hated with a passion. They would surely be angry, tell Remus that he was being stupid, else believe that Severus had put him under a spell. He cared about his friends more than he could put into words, everything they had done for him was overwhelming and he still found himself with a lump in his throat when any of them referred to their successful Animagus forms. But he could not put the feelings of his friends before his own this time; his feelings for Severus were something he had never before felt and he wasn't even sure if they were reciprocated. There was no point in thinking about 'what ifs' before he knew for sure.
Ensuring he did not wake the rest of the Marauders with their creaky dormitory door, he tiptoed out and made his way to the Great Hall to have a hearty breakfast and to work up his courage for what he was about to do.
The aroma of a thousand different breakfast options hit his nose before he had even reached the Entrance Hall. Smiling at his stomach's approved rumble, he entered the Great Hall and scanned it as he approached the Griffindor table. It was completely empty, not even a teacher in sight. Remus had suspected that perhaps the Headmaster would have risen early as he usually did every morning, but he was not sitting in his high backed throne-like chair at the staff table. Not fazed at all at the silence in the room, Remus tucked into some bacon, sausages and scrambled eggs.
He had just began to butter a slice of toast when, to his delight, a very familiar dark figure strolled into the Hall.
"Severus!" Remus exclaimed happily, waving the boy over. He saw him hesitate before approaching Remus and taking a seat opposite him.
"You're up early, Lupin." He said in his customary monotone voice, reaching to his left to get a piece of toast.
"So are you," Remus replied quietly, putting down his piece of toast and wiping the crumbs off his fingers. He suddenly felt nervous and his appetite disappeared as quickly as it came. He folded his hands in his lap and stared at them for a few minutes, hearing Severus finish his piece of toast and then feeling his eyes burning him. He looked up to, indeed, see Severus staring at him who immediately swallowed loudly and looked away. Remus smiled slightly at the realisation that Severus was perhaps just as nervous as him.
"What are you smirking at?" Severus asked, having chanced a look at Remus again.
"Nothing, I just...doesn't matter." He smiled at the Slytherin in a reassuring way to show him he wasn't laughing at him. "I'm glad we've bumped into each other actually, we never decided on our Potion." Severus looked completely confused. "You know, our project that Slughorn gave us yesterday." Realisation dawned on Severus' face and Remus chuckled at how adorable he looked when he was confused.
"Of course. Well, I have nothing planned-"
"Great, neither do I! I'm yours all day!" Remus joked.
Severus' pale cheeks filled suddenly with pinkness and he looked decidedly at his plate. "Lupin, I'd rather you just told me when your idiot friends were going to do, whatever prank it is you're planning so I know, instead of this ridiculous cover of yours."
Remus gaped at him. Prank? Cover? What was he talking about? "I don't understand."
Severus seemed to have regained some more confidence, as he crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Remus. "I'm not stupid, Lupin. This isn't a nice little day out, you, Black and Potter have something planned."
"Sirius and James? But they're asleep still...they don't even know I'm with you. I-"
"I refuse to be a part of this. If they want to try and belittle and embarrass me tell them to at least have the decency to do it themselves instead of sending you to do it for them. It's disgusting and cowardly, but I guess I cannot expect anything less from Griffindors." And with that, Severus stood up and hurried out of the Great Hall leaving Remus confused, his eyes full of tears.
He didn't know where he was going, he just desperately wanted to get away from Remus. The whole thing was a set up; it was obvious now. Why would Remus start talking to him so suddenly, why would he be up so early and why on earth would he want to spend the day with a Slytherin his close friends detested? He didn't know if he was more upset at Remus for appearing so sweet and innocent whilst planning a prank on him or with himself for firstly trusting the Griffindor and secondly, for not seeing the situation for what it was because of some desperate hope that Remus liked him. It was ridiculous, a Griffindor and a Slytherin. Another boy, for Merlin's sake. He didn't even know what he expected to happen, Remus Lupin declare his undying love for him?
Severus sighed deeply and looked up to find that his feet had carried him to the lake. He picked up a stone from the grass and threw it as hard as he could, trying to vent out some of his anger.
"Careful, you might hurt the giant squid." Said a quiet and very familiar voice. Severus wheeled around to face a sad looking Remus, hands in his jeans pockets and eyes staring at the ground.
"Is that what you think of me?" He asked, still not looking at Severus.
"What?" Severus asked, not knowing what Remus meant.
"Is that what you think of me?" Remus repeated, "That I'm nothing more than the slave of Sirius and James. That I go around deceiving people just to make sure they're in the right place at the right time to be at the receiving end of a prank?"
"I-"
"I'm not." Remus said firmly, finally looking the Slytherin in the eye. "I'm my own person, I do what I want to do. I'm not like that, I like a joke just as everyone does, but I do not go around humiliating and hurting others just because someone tells me to. I'm not a monster." Remus said the last four words as though they caused him great pain, and the look in his eye made Severus lost for words.
"I just thought that the logical reason for your sudden interest in me was because of something Black and Potter had planned." Severus mumbled, not sure if he was ashamed of himself for believing Remus was lying or because he was starting to believe that Remus may just have wanted to discuss the project.
"Just because they curse you when they soon as look at you does not mean I do the same. Look, they're my friends but it doesn't mean I agree with everything they do."
"You've never done anything, said anything to stop them."
"Would you have appreciated it? A Griffindor saving you from a beating? Would my friends have appreciated it? Me sticking up for a Slytherin when I should be on their side?" Remus removed his hands from his pockets and ran his hands through his hair. "I never joined in. I don't want to get involved only to make my friends angry at me. They mean a lot to me but it is not my grudge, not my fight. It's got nothing to do with me."
"I know." There was a silence that Severus felt stretched for hours until he finally plucked up the courage to speak again. "So why then?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you talking to me, wanting to stick up for me?"
"I would have thought that was obvious."
"Spell it out for me."
"I like you, Severus."
Secerus gaped at him another silence fell between the two boys for several long minutes. "I-you...but I'm a Slytherin, I'm always horrible to you, why on earth would you like me of all people?"
"Because I know you don't mean it." Remus stepped closer to Severus, there was now barely a foot between them. "It's a defence mechanism, I recognised it immediately."
Severus flinched and bit his lip. "What makes you think that?" He spat.
"When you're afraid of everyone hating you, judging you, thinking they know you because of where you come from, who you hang around with," he swallowed loudly, "what you are..." he paused. "You go into one of two modes; you go quiet, make yourself invisible and avoid attracting attention to yourself, you say what others want to hear, do what others want you to do and never make enemies. Or, you close off to everyone around you, make no friends and are unkind to everyone. You see, when you're horrible to everyone else you know for a fact that they will hate you for it." He paused once more, studying Severus' face, "and that way, you don't give them the chance to hate the real you. You save yourself the rejection and the hurt of baring your soul to someone only for them then to turn around and slap you in the face. People hate the mask you wear, Severus, because you will not allow them to get to know you. The real you."
"I – you're talking rubbish," he replied feebly, shocked at Remus' pretty accurate description of his behaviour.
"Am I? Let me get to know you, the Severus in there." He placed his hand on Severus' chest causing his heart to start beating erratically. Remus must have noticed, as he began to smile.
"I haven't got you wrong, have I Severus? Only I've been watching you so long that I don't think I can be wrong."
Severus was completely taken back. "Watching me?"
Remus blushed. "You... interested me. I can draw so many parallels between us just from the little scraps of information I've picked up. I just wanted to get to know you better to see what, if anything, we have in common."
"Parallels?" Severus raised his eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Like, you're quiet, I'm quiet. Your favourite meal is Sheppard's pie, just like mine. You're pretty intelligent judging by your test marks, and I'm – you know, not bad," Severus smirked at his modesty. "You spend a lot of time in the library-"
"Great." Interrupted Severus, "I'm a quiet geek who loves the library and scoffs Sheppard's pie all the time?"
Remus sniggered. "Yep, that's pretty much you in a nutshell!"
Severus couldn't help it; he smiled. It had been such a very long time since someone had made him want to genuinely smile, but here Remus was succeeding where all others had failed. Remus was mesmerised as he watched the other boy's face completely transform. Severus' eyes lit up, his mouth parted beautifully revealing perfect white teeth, even his posture seemed different; his shoulders were back confidently as opposed to his usual slouch. It was then that Remus felt an uncomfortable squirm in his stomach, realising he was openly staring at Severus.
"So...um can we forget everything else, everyone else." Remus said softly.
Severus nodded gently, "no Black, no Potter, no house rivalry. Just two –" he paused, "friends."
Remus smiled, "friends."
Well, they had to start somewhere.