A Good Man Chapter 1: One, an avengers fanfic

info: A bit of post-Avengers feels I had recently. I have been a little more than depressed lately, so my writing has been reflecting that. Character death, depressing stuff, a funeral. More reviews equal more chapters and faster uploads.

playlist: Wish you Were Here by Pink Floyd, Sierra Leone by Mt Eden Dubstep, Am I Blue by Rita Coolidge, Something's Wrong by Pretty Lights, Out of it All by Helen Jane Young, and Porcelain by Helen Jane Young

"He was a good man," Steve Rogers says quietly. He is staring at his hands, the words catching in his throat. The tiny letters on the paper mean nothing, he can't read them. "He was a genius, ahead of his time, selfless when he wanted to be, but he knew how to be a pain in everyone's ass."

A collective sobbing laugh ripples through the crowd. The most sickening noise Steve has ever heard.

"He was a good friend," Steve presses on, trying to keep his focus, but he loses it. He was more than a good friend, and the words seem hollow to him now. After days practicing in the mirror, he doesn't feel right about the words that are coming from his lips. Friend was a lack word for how much he meant.

Pepper is in the front row, looking exquisite in all black, her fiery hair cascading loosely down her back. Steve holds her gaze, watching the tears slide down her cheeks even as the smile lifts her face. It doesn't touch her eyes, the way her smiles usually light the talented woman up like a Christmas tree on December twenty-fifth. The smile is hollow and fake, but Steve swallows the lump in his throat and presses on anyway.

"I first met Tony Stark in the Avengers Initiative, but I knew his father, Howard. They were quite similar, but they would both deny it if you told them. His Iron Man suit was a technological marvel, his energy solutions were at the very front of the race. He was a great man, taken from us far before his time, and he will be missed." Steve feels everything inside, the way it bubbles and pops and everything seems to be breaking, but he covers it in apathy to get through this, to give Tony his last respects, to make the man proud, because more than anything, Steve only wants to see Tony smile again.

He steps down from the platform, his eyes sweeping the casket, the hole in the ground. For all his pomp and splendor, Tony Stark wanted to be buried like everyone else, next to his family. It was such a humble last request that Steve hadn't believed his ears. Thinking about Tony puts a sharp, throbbing pain in Steve's chest, and he tries to close off his heart to the hurt.

When he sits beside Pepper, she squeezes his hand, her tears telling him what she can't say. She's known, for a while actually, and she has kept her mouth shut. Tony Stark was his own personal sun, and any who got too close were sucked into his orbit for better or worse. It was hard not to love Tony. Under everything he put on the outside, under the Iron Man suit, under his father's snarky attitude, under all the layers he wore to distract anyone from the real him, there was something splendid. Pepper and Steve knew the real Tony like no one else did. Pepper didn't complain when she noticed her eccentric billionaire flirting with America's posterboy for superhuman strength. Likewise, she didn't step down when the flirting turned to something more, because Pepper was always there for Tony in ways that no one else could hope to come close to.

Steve squeezes her hand back, swallowing the tears threatening to spill over. If nothing else through all this, they will have each other.

The rest of the service is a blur. Steve doesn't speak, only nods in acknowledgment as people parade by to pay their final respects to a man who gave his life for everything. Agent Phil Coulson limps by, a hand on Steve's shoulder for support, his face pale and haunted, whispering words of sympathy, but Steve doesn't hear the dead man. Coulson shakes his head sadly, stepping away, leaning on Clint Barton as they leave. Banner drops a bag of blueberries in the grave, jaw set, his eyes dead. Natasha sails through on her graceful heels, a picture of beauty despite her mourning blacks. Her respects are quiet and unassuming, standing still beside the grave for precious moments before vanishing with the rest of those leaving. Thor is not present for the service, claiming Midgard traditions make him uncomfortable. No one pressed it. Nick Fury is missing, and has been for three days, but no one says anything. When the final bits of SHIELD personnel file by, Steve finds an empty folding chair and sits down hard.

Pepper sits beside him, her tear-streaked face gazing up at the sky.

"I'll make him pay," Steve says through clenched teeth.