A/N: Hey there guys. This is my first shortfic written in English and it isn't my first language. Sorry for any mistakes. If you have time, please post a review, it's important... Thanks for stopping by!
Lonely
Chapter One: Intrusion
He doesn't know how I feel. Seeing Oliver and Sara together has never been easy. With Laurel, it hasn't been any different. But he has made his point. To ignore my thoughts turn out to be the best way to keep working with the Arrow.
Some guy named Slade is in Starling, putting everyone's lives in danger. Diggle badly leaves the front of my building, by the possibility of an imminent risk. It's just that, this time, the car on my street does not belong to Dig. It belongs to someone else.
"What are you doing here, Oliver?" I ask to my phone, holding back a yawn. I couldn't believe in my eyes, even when witnessing it from my window. It's six in the morning. Oliver Queen is in my neighborhood. It's probably a usual dream.
There is no need for that. I could alert them in a second if something went wrong. The previously empty room of my home is crammed with computers; monitors that offers me a complete panorama of the surroundings.
"Just checking," his voice sounds cautious. "You can pretend I'm not here and go back to sleep."
"How do you know I'm sleepy?" I distrust, snuggling down with the blanket of the couch.
"Uhm, it's early," he says, laughing before continuing. "Plus, you aren't rambling."
"Well thought. You mean for now, right? I don't know if I sleep or eat something," I frown, as my stomach doesn't stop growling. If Oliver managed to survive in Lyan Yu for five years, badly having food to consume, I could take a few hours without feeding, at least until my alarm clock pulls me out from my sleep. Just in time for work. Oliver. He is the reason why I have to wake up early. I hate him. As if it could ever be true.
"Felicity, are you okay?" Oliver seems worried. He doesn't know my hibernation mode. However, I would turn on again anytime I was needed, retaining my previous state, saving every content of mine. Just like a computer. What if I was never going to be something more than an IT girl?
"You will always be my girl, Felicity," those words wouldn't ever leave my mind.
"Yes."
"Do you want me to come up?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
I unlock the front door, leaving it open. As I hear Oliver's steps, I turn my back to the entrance. I don't want him to read my expression, once I have always been an obvious person.
"Hey there," he enters the realty, closing the door behind him. That is all I can hear, since there is no chance I will look back to check.
"Hey," I answer as cautious as he was before.
No, no. I feel one of his hands in my shoulder, asking me soundlessly to turn back and face him. Such warm touch is what it takes for me to collapse. I'm not made of iron. I turn around.
"You look tired," he suggests, studying me with those blue eyes. "Felicity, you stay up every single night at the lair. You have been doing twice the work. I think you should take the day off."
His look pauses in the recent scar on my right shoulder. I loathe myself for wearing my sleeveless PJs. Skimming the mark with his fingers, his jaw shows tension.
"I'm sorry."
"Oliver, really, it's nothing…" I smile, trying to relieve his worry. Somehow, I have felt braver after taking that shot for Sara. Defeating the Clock King has generated a lot of self-reliance for me. The more my knowledge is useful to our collective mission, the more included I get. Let alone that since Sara has been back to Starling, the moments when I remain left out aren't sporadic at all.
"Just the mere idea of something happening to you… because of me…" Oliver's frustration increases gradually.
"Sure," I interrupt, not wanting to get my hopes up. "Has something come up with Dig? It's sort of weird; you have never come in my place before, Oliver. I thought you would be looking after your family…"
"Lyla has come up," Oliver clarifies. "Roy ensured that he would take care of my mom and Thea for the time being."
"I should definitely eat something," I declare, heading to the kitchen. I'm stressed for many reasons, not to mention that I have always been a stress eater. Oliver's presence isn't exactly what made me chill out.
He follows me. I put two slices of bread inside the toaster and open the fridge, so that I can grab the juice box. My heart hums into my ears. I try not to look at him. Although I think that we could chat about some banalities like the weather and stuff as a distraction, the fag leaves my reasoning numb.
"Do you want some? I can make scrambled eggs, pancakes or both, if you like. There is no bacon, though. But I could tell that you wouldn't consume that amount of calories, would you? However, with the hardness you work out, your body fat percentage must be below zero, if it's even possible. Whenever I eat more than I should have, I run to lose the excessive weight. That's right; my life isn't just about computers."
Damn it. Oliver's staring at me with an arched eyebrow. Just like his bow. That image makes me laugh untimely.
"Felicity, what is going on?"
I stay quiet. Removing the slices of bread from the toaster, I place them in a plate. I start to eat quickly, so that I can't answer him.
"Felicity…"
I bite another piece of bread.
"Enough," Oliver pushes the plate away from me, in order that I don't have another alternative unless talking to him.
I stop chewing, not swallowing the content inside my mouth. Unfortunately, he realizes my new strategy.
"Come on, Felicity, we are not ten anymore. Now I am sure there's something you're not telling me."
I ingest the food, preparing myself to justify my gabble.
"Oliver, do I have any other use beyond my computer knowledge? I can't even defend myself without your help…"
"Is that the reason why you have been training?" he asks, referring to the day I was awkwardly taking out all of my rage on the dummy. I should keep my mouth shut.
One of the several factors that forbid a relationship between me and Oliver that surpass friendship is the danger I am subjected to. And again, everything comes down to my inability of fighting. If only I could prove myself as an independent person, maybe my life stopped spinning around Oliver Queen. He would never choose me over Sara, or Laurel. It's high time I accepted that fact.
"I've been training because I don't want to be a dead weight for the team. Given your growing quantity of enemies I will do my best to not hold you back or be an easy victim to be kept for hostage. Oliver, I won't ever let you kill again because of me."
He reaches out, catching my hand. This simple gesture is the furthest we would ever go.
"Keeping you safe is my duty. I dragged you into all this. The least I can do in exchange for your help is assuring that you don't become a target of my problems. Because any risk will be my fault, Felicity."
I look at him, biting my lip and wondering what to say. Oliver has always felt responsible for every single life on Earth. I just couldn't imagine the former Oliver, a selfish and annoying guy, who always has been subject at Queen Consolidated. The island experience may have brought some awful consequences, but it also has caused good things to happen. I'm sure Oliver had changed completely by the time he was found near the North China Sea.
"You should rest," he says, still not letting go of my hand. "No ifs, ands, or buts."
I don't want to take a whole day off. Slade could be planning something and I need to be prepared. Sleeping a few more hours may mean a high cost for others to pay. I can't afford it.
"I see you in two hours at work," I smile, contradicting his orders. Oliver can't just throw his weight around every time. I would follow his commands on behalf of our common goals. Of course we have our disagreements along the way.
"Dream on," his tone remains calm now, like he was just saying nothing more than the obvious. Oliver's expression makes my point of view seems ridiculous. I can swear, he is almost laughing at my expense. Aerosmith's song pops up into my mind.
"What exactly can you do to stop me?" I stare at him, curious.
"It's amazing how one single arrow can cut off the power to an entire neighborhood. No power, no computers."
"I'm surprised," I admit, confused by how far he could go to make his point.
"We could go to the lair at least for the rest of the morning. I can keep an eye on you there. If it gets too boring we can do something else."
"Are you really giving me the freedom of choice? Do I own free will? I can totally get used to that. I've never thought I would witness this moment. You allow someone else to decide about their own lives."
"Felicity, I just want the best for you," Oliver touches my shoulder gently.
"I can know what is best for me without your intrusion." I grumble.
"Fine then," he stands up, heading to the front door. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
This way, Oliver leaves my apartment, taking a piece of me with him.