Sunshine
"Has anyone ever told you that when you walk into a room it's like the sun is coming out for the very first time?" Samantha Traynor had never been told that no, not until now. Shepard/Samantha.
Samantha Traynor wouldn't lie and say she wasn't nervous about meeting the legendary Commander Shepard because as said, that would have been a lie and Sam's never really been a very good liar in the first place according to her family and friends.
It was her eyes, everyone had said, they were too bright and big whenever she lied which was what gave her away; that and how her cheeks flushed like crazy and the way her hands tugged and pulled at each other in that nervous fashion as though one little thing could set off a whirlwind of explosions and literal headaches.
She'd been trying to get over the whole lying stage as of late, James told her that she was too cute to lie (before she had reminded him with a more eager smile than she should have that she would not be sleeping with him) and Cortez had told her that lying was just a cowards way out – though with more kind eyes and smiles that made the statement not sound as harsh as it had when Samantha had thought it back to herself.
Sam wasn't a liar per se, not to other people anyhow, but more to herself which she admitted was becoming a rather bad habit now that she was on a military vessel with constant questions coming in from everyone on board as they all waited for Commander Shepard to board the Normandy for the very first time.
Well now that she thought about it as she typed away at her terminal Sam realized that it was actually the second time if she wanted to get technical, but honestly could she count the first time when she took into consideration that at the time the Commander had been carrying lieutenant-commander Ashley Williams on her back and had hardly noticed her in the first place on her way to the med-bay?
At least the Commander had cheerfully waved to her for a split second, although Sam still wasn't quite sure if she meant to wave at her in a friendly greeting or meant to clear her off with a less than polite manner.
Which was why Sam was displeased that Shepard, Vega, Williams and Vega were off of the Normandy to attend a meeting with the Council and get Williams into Huerta, not because she wished anything ill of Williams but because the hum of the Normandy gave her too much thinking time and when she started to think it meant that her mind wandered onto Commander Shepard and Commander Shepard was someone not to get involved with.
Or so her mother had warned her the moment Sam had to break the news to them that soon enough she'd be working under Commander Shepard (which had led to several lewd jokes from her cousins) because if there was anything Sam could describe her mother as it was protective, that and she wanted to make sure Sam would actually be serious and professional enough to keep it in her pants as her mother always seemed to think that every woman in the world was what Sam wanted to take home at night – a view that Sam had given up trying to pry her mother away from after so long.
"Penny for your thoughts Samantha Traynor?" Cortez's voice immediately pulled her away from her daydreaming, his presence surprising her greatly as it was not normal for Steve to wander from his post back down in the armoury just to see her in the CIC; that was more of a James Vega sort of job.
Sam thought about lying then, just for a split second, but soon realized that Cortez had pretty much grown used to the tell-tale signs of lying as he did it so much more often than herself.
"Just thinking about the Commander and how not to act like a blustering fool in front of her," Samantha replied with a quick quirk of her lips that she knew made Cortez laugh just as much as he did when he had seen her perform a 'duck face' in front of him. "It's actually harder than it sounds! Not really used to the whole hero worship thing myself."
"Are you not?" Cortez teased with a smile that made Sam flush under the bright blue orbs of the lieutenant. "Ever met Hackett? I have and I almost shit my pants when he walked in, saluted me and then told me that next time I flew him somewhere as good as I did then he'd give me a medal."
Sam arched a finely shaped brow at the smiling Cortez, pleased that Steve had improved somewhat since the last time they had talked because whilst she knew Robert would never completely leave, the scars that he had unintentionally left on Steve's heart would heal soon enough.
Perhaps a dashing knight known as Mr Vega would be the one to do just that?
A hand landed on her shoulder, knocking her off balance slightly so that her side was pressed into Cortez's own, his warmth and smile causing Sam to feel that much more comfortable. "Hey just be yourself, she's more human than you probably realize once you get to know her."
And as if to remind her of that fact EDI's synchronized voice (a voice that still sent shudders up Sam's back no matter how hard she tried to supress them) came in through her monitor, startling them both enough that Steve let out a hasty goodbye before heading back towards the elevator; still uneasy about EDI despite knowing the VI (though Sam had her suspicions on that one) for a good few months.
"Specialist Traynor it has come to my attention that Commander Shepard has recently boarded the Normandy, for this reason I believe it is the right time for you to introduce yourself and explain the new stations and whereabouts of everything on the Normandy."
As if her back couldn't get any more straight it seemed that Samantha was intent on proving herself wrong, because now she felt like a piece of cardboard with how stiff she was and now she had to try and restrain herself from bolting to another room just to avoid the task she was specifically given? Where the hell had all these uncertainties come from all of a sudden?
"Right…" She breathed out with a shake of her head and a little twist and twirl of her fingers, staring behind her shoulder at the now terrifying elevator that seemed to beckon over at her in a way that said 'come towards me if you want to be swallowed whole' which Sam didn't want to be frank, but she knew that it was her job to do what the VI advised and so with a reluctant sigh she moved away from the terminal.
Deep breaths, Samantha advised herself with a little nod of her head as she entered the elevator with shaking hands that pressed numbly against the button that would take her to Shepard's quarters, she's not going to eat you, and she's most likely a perfectly reasonable young woman. Just calm down.
Still the anxiety deep within her bones would not leave her; it was like this restless itch that made Samantha feel as though she was being pressed up into a corner with no other satisfaction but the deep scratch, scratch of her nails scraping across delicate ebony skin that she feared would tear so easily under enemy fire.
It shouldn't have, not really, but in that very moment of her ascending and eventually stopping on Shepard's level, Samantha Traynor realized that she was absolutely terrified of everything to do with Commander Shepard.
Yes she was frightened of the legendary hero known as the Butcher of Torfan and the notorious lieutenant of the Reds that even Sam had heard of as she grew up, and to be honest Sam had not expected to be so scared of someone who arguably was the only thing that stood in between the galaxy and the Reapers.
Which was why she almost sighed in relief at seeing the asari known as Dr Liara T'Soni there as well as the blonde commander when the doors opened, startling the conversing two the very moment the doors opened to reveal Sam with her words already sprawling out of her mouth as if they couldn't get out any faster.
With two pairs of foreign eyes on her – though both had the same alluring colour of bright cerulean – Sam did the only thing she could do, freeze, backtrack and then apologize like a complete muppet.
"Oh, oh, sorry I-I didn't know I was intruding or anything…" Sam stuttered with her cheeks burning up a storm that was pleased to say did not show up as much as it could due to her dark skin. "I mean, I'll just be going…"
Liara at least gave her a pleasant smile and held up a hand to stop her from backpedalling back into the elevator, which was both a blessing and a damn shame because now she was stuck in Shepard's presence (who had turned her back on her with a sigh) with nowhere else to go.
"It's alright Samantha, I was just leaving," the asari told her with a nod of her head, shooting one more worried glance at the back of Commander Shepard before she departed with her eyes set into a hardened grimace that made Samantha shudder more than the words that left the asari's lips. "And make sure you get some rest Shepard, it may not sound kind, but at this time we need you at your best."
Alright that was harsh, Samantha thought quietly to herself the very moment the blonde Commander turned back around to glare heatedly at the asari over Sam's shoulder with her teeth bared and an animalistic growl escaping her lips. Though I'm sort of glad that glare isn't being directed at me, in fact, really glad.
Sam must have made some sort of sound or her eyes really must have been wide enough that it looked they were going to fall out of her head because soon enough Shepard's eyes fell away from the elevator to stare at her face, eyes inwardly softening yet still the pearly white of her teeth did not vanish from Sam's sight even after another brief moment of just hearing the blonde Commander's uneven breathing.
Sam hadn't known she had stopped breathing until pink, petite lips curled back over the razor sharp white pearls that was Commander Shepard's teeth; air rushing back into her lungs at such a speed she felt as though her legs would collapse from under her if she wasn't careful.
A hand was pressed outwards and it took Sam only a moment to realize that said hand belonged to her and she was speaking a mile a minute, refusing to look anywhere else but in the eyes of the Butcher of Torfan who at this point seemed equally confused as she was annoyed.
"Commander Shepard? I'm Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor, with Alliance R&D…" And then just when Sam thought things couldn't get any worse, she suddenly realized that this was her goddamn superior officer and she was supposed to be saluting and not shaking hands like they were regular friends! "Oh! I beg your pardon Commander, I-I temporarily forgot whom…"
Sam let her dying sentence lie where it was, already embarrassed at how she had managed to mess everything up in a matter of seconds. "I was, uhm, here to oversee the retrofits of the…"
This time Sam let her bumbling die back down where it belonged at seeing that not only had the blonde Commander moved away from her, but because of the fact that the other woman had decided to lounge on one of the railings fitted in her cabin with her arms crossed and the tiniest of smiles on her face.
Sam didn't quite know if she should take that as a good thing or not, because as far as she was concerned Commander Song Shepard was still very capable at eating her if she wasn't careful.
"Are you always so nervous Specialist?" Said a voice that was rough, scratchy with a lilt that Samantha recognized to be British; another surprising thing that she had found out today about Commander Shepard.
Remembering she had just been asked a question Sam stood up even straighter than before, stiff as a cardboard cut-out with her lip curled upwards into what she hoped to be a friendly smile and not a smile one did when they had just stepped into something that that they had no idea how to get back out of.
"I…! Well, no I guess not, I just…" God damn it Samantha, the dark-skinned woman cursed inwardly at herself, get a grip and start speaking actual sense!
Shepard put her out of her misery by moving off and away from the railing she had leaned against, placing up her hands to halt Samantha's talking with another chuckle that immediately made the undistinguishable laugh lines Sam hadn't noticed before appear on her face.
Oh good, so the Commander really wasn't a scary monster then?
"You're doing fine Specialist," Shepard told her with an arched brow that practically screamed amusement in a way that made Sam want to back away into a corner. "You just caught me at a bad time speaking with our ever illusive Liara T'Soni, which as you can see, didn't go that well."
Sam didn't like how the blonde's bright blue eyes darkened then, almost as if Shepard was trying to keep herself from bursting from the seam with a lustrous contempt that Sam no doubted was what the Commander used to keep herself in-check.
"Next time she orders me around like that I'll just have to…" The Commander started to mutter, more to herself than to Sam, before she sighed and raked a hand through her blonde halo of spikes. "There's just not enough bloody hours in the day, ahem, as you were saying Specialist."
Sam took this as the opportunity to get underway because second chances be damned, she was going to do this properly and if she didn't then she had a feeling she would be bunking with Mr Cortez again so she would have a shoulder to cry on – because she just was not cut out for life outside of a lab so it seemed.
But again just as she was about to open her mouth Shepard stopped her with a hand, eyes narrowed in a fashion that was neither soft nor hard; it was just neutral, as if the Commander was on the borderline of saying something she was unsure about.
"Has anyone ever told you that when you walk into a room it's like the sun is coming out for the very first time?" Shepard asked her with such a serious look in her eye Sam could not quite believe what she was hearing until her heart seemed to speed back up in anticipation and this weird surge of vibrant feeling made her belly coil inwards.
Samantha Traynor had never been told that no, not until now and perhaps that was the reason why her words started to become even more stumbling and nervous than before; all because of Shepard's presence.
"Uhhm, no not really," Sam responded with a nervous chuckle and a shake of her head that made Shepard's small smile grow even larger. "Well, not until now, though I'm sure I've heard that saying before, but uh, yeah, not towards me…"
The blonde Commander – who Sam was now not sure if she was going to devour her or leave her out to dry due to her overheated cheeks – let a soft chuckle escape her throat, arms crossing again and her head tilting downwards until Sam had no other choice but to stare into the cerulean hues of Commander Shepard.
"Well now you have," Shepard murmured with a flicker of a smile making its way onto her face before it vanished completely and Sam found herself staring at the retreating back of Shepard who seemed to practically float into her cabin. "Alright then sunshine, impress me with your frantic sentences and your charming sense of knowing exactly what to do around here!"
Sam's mouth suddenly felt as though every inch of saliva had dissipated into the air, causing her to only croak in reply whilst her footsteps were clumsy enough that it took everything not to cling onto the walls of Shepard's cabin as she trailed after the blonde Commander.
Commander Shepard, the Butcher of Torfan, the nefarious enemy of the Batarian race, the Alliance soldier who had worked (unwillingly) with Cerberus and the kid that had been in some teenaged gang on Earth had took one look at her, stripped her of all her defences and had then proceeded to call her 'sunshine'.
Samantha decided she was actually going to like it around here.