A.N: I realize that Sasori probably shouldn't have to eat, or even be able to. That said, his still has an organic heart, so there has to be some way for him to replace the dead/decaying cells with new ones. So, until Kishimoto provides a good explanation for how that happens, I have Sasori eating.

Luxury was not something that Akatsuki members could indulge in very often. Their finances were managed by a cheapskate immortal who would barely give the other members enough money to scrape by without having his arm twisted to shell out a few bucks more. Most expenses were taken care of, that was true; the base always had functioning utilities, the bedrooms were adequately furnished, and the fridge always had enough food in it to make sure that the ninjas living there wouldn't starve to death. But for other monetary matters, like travel funds, Kakuzu was very tight-fisted. For this reason, Akatsuki members were usually confined to staying in shady motels or caves when they were sent on missions, regardless of how much bitching and threatening went into trying to get a bigger travel budget.

Sasori and Deidara had been out on assignment, about to check into one of these less than pleasant roach motels, when the blond was knocked down by a carriage backing into him. Before Deidara could bitch out the driver for running into him and Sasori could bitch out Deidara for being so oblivious that he was run over in the first place, the passenger stumbled out of the carriage and began apologizing so profusely that even Sasori's frustration was somewhat dissipated. The passenger had been speaking with the carriage driver as they drove through town, distracting the man while he was attempting to park, resulting in Deidara getting hit. As compensation, he offered the artistic duo a free night at the best suite in his hotel (which was decidedly a few steps above the roach motel in terms of class and likelihood of having been cleaned at some point in the past decade). Needless to say, Deidara and Sasori were quite happy to take the man up on his offer.

Not even an hour later, the pair stepped through the door of the hotel's suite and looked around, admiring the luxury of their lodgings. The room contained two king-sized beds, a plush couch, fully-stocked mini-bar, desk, and a bottle of fine wine (compliments of the hotel owner). A peek through the bathroom door revealed a Jacuzzi-style tub set into the ground, flanked by elegantly shaped bottles of shampoo and bubble bath. An entire wall of the bathroom was frosted glass that looked into the main room. Fluffy towels sat upon the sink ledge, arranged to look like small animals. All in all, the room was a far cry from the sort of shady establishments that Sasori and Deidara normally frequented. "Damn, un," Deidara remarked with a grin, "I should get run over more often, un."

"Don't tempt me," Sasori replied as he set his bag down on one of the beds. "Incidentally, we should probably avoid telling Kakuzu about this."

"Huh? Why, un?"

Sasori sat down by the phone and picked up a copy of the hotel's menu that had been placed on the table nearby. "Because I intend to use that money he gave us to get us a decent meal."

"Seriously?! I'd love to eat something that isn't two weeks old and covered in green slime, un!"

"I thought so. Now, what do you want?"

Deidara quickly joined Sasori and began pointing out the things on the menu he wanted to order, which was just about everything. "Brat, you're going to make yourself sick trying to eat all this."

"I don't care, this is the only good food we're going to get for the whole mission, un!"

"No. Pick a few things."

"Please danna?" the blond begged, wrapping his arms around the redhead and giving him his most pathetic look.

"…If you puke this up, I'm going to kill you." Deidara merely smiled and gave Sasori a tight squeeze. "Stupid brat."

"Crotchety old man," Deidara shot back with a smirk.

As Sasori circled the items on the menu they were planning to order, Deidara dropped his cloak onto the bed. He walked towards the bathroom but halted just short of going through the doorway, biting his lip nervously. "Hey, Sasori danna?"

"Mm?"

"I'm going to take a bath now."

"All right, that should be fine since it'll probably take them a while for them to prepare all this food."

"Um, do you…"

"What?"

"Never mind, un," Deidara mumbled as he ducked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Shaking his head, the blond stripped out of his clothing and tossed them into the corner. "Geez Deidara, when did you turn into a blushing schoolgirl, un."

It was true that Deidara and Sasori had only been a couple for a few weeks now, so maybe the blond was justified in his hesitance to do certain things with his partner; like, say, inviting the redhead into the bathtub so they could bathe together. Normal couples did that, right? Well, maybe Kakuzu and Hidan weren't normal, and neither were Itachi and Kisame, but that was normal Akatsuki couple activity, and since he and Sasori were both Akatsuki members then it should be normal for them, right? That made sense, right?

"Stop over-thinking it, un," Deidara grumbled as he turned on the hot water and dumped an entire bottle of bubble bath into the tub. It didn't matter if doing such things was normal or not, since apparently Deidara didn't have the ability to even suggest co-bathing to Sasori at all. And even if he did somehow manage to voice his invitation to the older man, what would Sasori say? Would he want to just take an innocent bath together, or would things get friskier with all that naked skin and hands sliding over slippery flesh and bubbles obscuring some rather nice visuals that Deidara was eager to see-

"Deidara?" Sasori called out as he stepped into the bathroom.

"ACK!" Startled by the sudden appearance of his danna, Deidara accidentally tumbled into the bathtub headfirst, sending water splashing over the edge.

"…Brat, are you all right?" Sasori inquired when Deidara's head resurfaced.

"Sasori danna, didn't anyone ever teach you to knock, un?!" Deidara spluttered, handmouths gagging slightly from the lilac bubble bath in the water.

Sasori's unconcerned expression didn't change. "Why? I've seen you naked before," he calmly stated, referring to the times Deidara had had to strip down so that Sasori could tend to his injuries.

"That was different, un! We weren't…you know…dating," Deidara mumbled, the last word barely audible.

If Sasori noticed his partner's discomfort he chose to ignore it. Instead, he closed the door behind him and began stripping down. "The food's probably going to get here around the time you finish washing up and I'd be getting in, and I'd rather eat while it's hot," he explained as he tossed his shirt on top of Deidara's clothing.

Deidara felt his face heat up as he realized where Sasori was going with that line of thinking. "So you're saying…?"

"We'll bathe together, obviously," Sasori concluded as he began to remove his boxers, the final article of clothing on his body.

Nervous and embarrassed, Deidara averted his eyes and swam to the far edge of the tub, setting his hands above the water's edge. Never mind the fact that he'd been about to ask Sasori to do this moments earlier; he was about to bathe with his danna for the first time! And Sasori was acting like it was no big deal!

His panicked musings were disturbed by the slosh of water as Sasori sank into the tub, dunking his head beneath the mountain of suds before popping back up dangerously close to Deidara's face. "Mm, this is heavenly."

"Eep!"

Sasori quirked a brow at the blond's reaction. "Something wrong?"

"Er, soap in my eye?"

Sasori rolled his eyes and muttered something about stupid blonds before taking a seat beside Deidara. The bomber tried to keep his attention on just finishing his bath and getting out of here without blushing himself to death. Unfortunately, in his distracted state Deidara's handmouths had slipped beneath the water yet again, opened and slurped in a few globs of soapy water, causing them to sputter as Deidara made a face. Sasori gave Deidara another look, seriously concerned about his partner's behavior thus far. "Do you normally have this much trouble taking a bath?"

Deidara stretched his arms back so that they were safely out of the danger of the sudsy bath water. "Sometimes my handmouths swallow soap or water, un. It's gross."

"How do you wash your hair then?"

"Very carefully," Deidara answered as he reached behind him for the shampoo. Maybe he could get through this yet; he just needed to focus on the actual bathing part of his bath with Sasori, and not the naked danna aspect.

"Do you want me to do it?"

The shampoo bottle slipped out of Deidara's hand. "W-what?"

"Do you want me to wash your hair?"

"Um, sure, I guess," Deidara replied, realizing too late that he probably should have declined if he wanted to get his blushing and anxiety under control. Too late now.

Moments later Sasori had moved to sit on the edge of the tub and was lathering the shampoo in his hands, while Deidara scooted to sit between his legs and kept his eyes glued firmly forward, away from Sasori. Because there was a good chance that if Deidara got a decent look at what was resting between Sasori's legs, he was going to squeal like a girl or pass out. Possibly both. Being a teenager sucked.

Sasori, ever oblivious to his partner's discomfort, began to wash Deidara's hair with surprisingly gentle motions. "Too rough?"

"No, un," Deidara replied, melting into Sasori's gentle caresses. "Why is that, un?"

"If I rip out my puppets' hair it doesn't grow back, so I have to be careful," Sasori explained with a shrug. "Tilt your head…good, just like that."

Any additional comments that Deidara might have made died on his lips as Sasori began to rub little circles into the base of his skull. Instead, he shut his eyes and leaned into Sasori's hands, head eventually coming to rest on the redhead's thigh as he sighed contently. This was heaven.

Sasori smirked at the sight, tilting Deidara's head from side to side. "Who knew you could be so quiet and agreeable."

"Less talking, more head scratching, un," Deidara grumbled.

"Brat," Sasori chuckled but went back to washing the blond's locks. Once they were deemed clean enough, Sasori used a chakra thread to snag a cup off the bathroom counter. He turned on the tap and filled the cup, testing with his finger to make sure it wasn't too hot. "Tilt your head back," he instructed before dumping the water over Deidara's hair.

"Ack, too cold!"

Sasori rolled his eyes but adjusted the water temperature before repeating the procedure. Soon enough Deidara's hair was completely cleaned, much to the blond's satisfaction. "Thank you danna," he murmured, craning his neck back to smile at Sasori.

The Akasuna suddenly bent forward and pressed his lips to Deidara's, giving the blond an upside-down kiss. Caught off-guard, Deidara nevertheless kissed back and pushed up against Sasori, one hand slowly coming up to wrap around the puppet master's neck-

KNOCK KNOCK "Room service!"

Sasori made a displeased noise and sat up. "Coming!" he called out, quickly snagging a towel and wrapping it around his waist. Leaving Deidara to sit in the tub for a minute, confused and…disappointed?

Pouting softly, Deidara flipped the lever to drain the tub and climbed out, wrapping one towel around his hair and drying himself off with another. Curse that room service delivery man for interrupting their bath!

"Deidara, come on; the food's getting cold."

"Coming danna," the blond called out, gathering up their clothing and flipping off the light switch as he exited the bathroom. Still, for their first time bathing together, it had been pretty nice. "Maybe I can get danna to wash my hair again, un…"