I got an idea and I couldn't get out of my head until I put it up. So here goes. Thanks to tmtcltb for the suggestion and support. I probably won't update this as frequently until I get my other stories finished. Lots of balls in the air right now.

To Have and to Hold

Chapter 1-8 years after the Red Flu hit (Season 1)

Christine was desperate. She was dying and knew it. The doctors had diagnosed her with Breast Cancer six months before. She had them do a radical mastectomy and then round upon round of Chemotherapy and Radiation. Her body was depleted, and it didn't work because the cancer had spread. It was in her left lung, her thyroid was surrounded in tumors, there was a suspicious spot on her liver and another on her spine. She was in constant pain and had no energy.

She took the last of her money and moved her family to Florida. She had given up and refused further treatment. The climate helped her a bit but the rental house she moved her family into was not in good shape. They were depending on her oldest daughter's income at a nursing home. Hilary desperately wanted to be a nurse like Christine had been, but Christine couldn't do that for her. In moving her family, she knew she was moving close to Mike.

The government had made new laws that the hundreds of thousands of people that were missing could be legally declared as dead after five years. Mike had done that at the government's insistence. He had had her, Hilary and Hannah declared dead and remarried. Christine knew she could be angry at him, but she just couldn't. She needed him to finish raising the kids, to help Hilary and to help them all grieve when she died. She had started going by her maiden name and the kids had followed suite. Legally, their last name was still Slattery but they all went by Adams to make it less confusing.

She had had triplets eight months after Mike had left for the Arctic and somehow had kept them and the girls alive. They were barely seven years old. Hilary was prepared that she was going to raise them, but Christine wanted something more for them all. Hilary was barely twenty and she deserved to have a normal early adulthood. Something Mike could insure that she would have. Hilary was incredibly angry at her father and at her circumstances and Hannah followed her blindly. Both girls, despite the anger they felt, had also missed him terribly.

Christine had kept track of Mike and knew that the time was right but also knew; she would never get through to him. Since he was a member of the legendary Nathan James crew, he was protected. He had married Andrea Garnett, someone Christine had always adored. She was happy for Mike and Andrea and proud of them. She could be jealous, but she would have wanted Mike to be happy; and since she had been declared deceased, legally speaking, they were no longer married. Despite that, Christine still wore her wedding band. He and Andrea had also had a little girl, Lexi, two years before and Andrea was currently pregnant. They also fostered a couple kids that were orphaned or in horrific situations. At last count, they had fostered at least a dozen, and kept three of those, adopting them. Christine also knew they were in the process of adopting another little boy, Charlie. Christine loved that they had opened their hearts and home to children in need. She just hoped that Mike and Andrea would do the same with Christine's children. It would be overwhelming for them.

Christine knew she would never be able to get to Mike; so, she had a plan. Write a letter, and have it delivered to Tom Chandler but addressed to Mike. She just hoped her plan would work. She sat in her old beater car, watching the office where Mike and Tom both worked. She smiled when she saw Mike get out of a nice truck in his summer whites, salute at some passing sailors and walk in. Despite her current circumstances, she still loved him, and he still made her feel weak in the knees. She looked down at the letter and knew that her next steps would be difficult, but she had to do it. She reread the letter through tear filled eyes.

"Mike,

You are in shock right now and I am sorry for that. I am not angry at you for having the girls and I declared deceased. You needed to go on with your life. It took me a long time to find you and by the time I did, you had moved on and I didn't want to make things hard.

The girls and I started using my maiden name. Legally, we are still Slattery's, but I thought it would be easier for you. Hannah and Hilary are well, but I will go into that a bit further in a minute. There is a lot to catch up on.

When you called from the Arctic; I was horrible to you. I was angry at you for not being their when our boy died. Not being there when I needed you. I withheld some very important information from you and I shouldn't have. For a good, long while; I stayed angry. That's what kept me away and then I lost track of you. In doing that, I withheld your children from you and for that, I am SO, SO Sorry. You see, I was pregnant with triplets when you called. And yes, they are yours…not that you would ask that.

I found my instructor from when I was taking my midwife courses. She was holed up in a farmhouse in Arkansas. That's where the triplets were born. They were a wee bit early but did well. Tyler is the oldest and he is lot like Lucas was. Maggie is next (and yes, named after your mom). Next is Katie. They just turned seven and are a total joy. You will love them (I'm hoping, anyway). Hilary is working as a Certified Nurse's Aide at a nursing home and Hannah will be graduating soon. She has hopes of going to college to become an architect.

As painful as this is, Hilary is terribly angry at you. She feels you abandoned us. You have your work cut out for you where she's concerned and unfortunately, she has a lot of say over Hannah. I am encouraging Hannah to not feel as her sister feels, but at seventeen, its hard to not do that. Hannah really is a good girl and I am confident that she will come around. I will certainly encourage it.

The reason I finally am contacting you is that six months ago, I was diagnosed with fourth stage breast cancer. They did the mastectomy (both sides), chemo and radiation but it is widespread, and I know my time is coming to the end. Hilary is all prepared that the triplets and Hannah will go to her to care for, but I wanted to…offer them to you and Andrea? I am not sure I could die peacefully, knowing that my barely twenty-year-old was having to raise her younger siblings. I know a lot of kids her age are doing that now, but I really want more for my daughter and for them too.

I have no hard feelings where you and Andrea are concerned. I would have wanted you to move on. I am quite proud of the two of you. I will admit, I do still love you, but I can understand why you would be so angry with me, that you wouldn't. I just need to know that my kids are okay. I am at peace with what will happen. I will be with our oldest boy. I hope you can forgive me for this pain that I have caused you but in writing you, I am giving you an option. The kids don't know what I've done where you're concerned; so, if you want to not answer this or not find me; I do understand. I can't foresee that, but I am giving you the option. Enclosed is my address and pictures of the kids. I suggest you talk to Andrea about this before you react. It involves her and what I am asking of the two of you is huge. Massive. They are your kids, but they will be none the wiser. I have told the triplets about you, but I would love to see them in your care before I die. I will help the transition if you agree to it. They know you are a hero.

As I said before, you are not to feel badly. I know you and you have a tremendous sense of responsibility and I am hoping that will shine through. I am so incredibly proud of you (and Andrea too). Foster parents? I love it. I have been kind of keeping track of you two. I just had to figure out how to do this.

If I don't hear from you; I will know what your answer is.

I love you,

Christine"

Christine walked into the office building where Mike had walked into and put the envelope on the front desk. She had written Tom's name on it but had put (for Mike) under that. She just had to trust it would get where it needed to go. As she walked out; she passed Tom who just nodded at her, not recognizing her. It was for the best. Her bald head was in a scarf and she had lost a lot of weight in her treatments. It gave her the ability to not attract a lot of attention.