Hello Hello~. Yeah, I have tons of other stuff to be working on, I know. xD I've had the sudden urge to do this for awhile now. Plus the urge to write something else like this.

Warnings: Contains foul language, cross dressing, hints of yaoi, and CRACK. Tons of references from the Alice in Wonderland book, the game, the Disney version and some from Digimon Frontier(Can you catch 'em all?). Plus there's a buttload of BAD jokes. I swear there's even a Flintstones joke in here somewhere.
Rating: T Takes place in the New Hope/Fallen Hope universe, however it happens during the beginning of Fallen Hope.
Zoe's Adventure in Wonderland.

"I'm so bored, Aya-chan." You said following slowly behind. You and your sister were walking along the riverbank. Although, you have never really realized you had a sister before till now. She looked just like you, with blonde hair but it was shorter and in a bob cut. She also had teal eyes that matched your own. "Zoe-chan, we must practice your Italian." Aya reminds you. You nodded your head at her, watching her walk down the riverbank. You began to follow, but you're attention was drawn by something else. Somebody with long black hair. Somebody that you recognize. "Ah, Aya-chan! I think I see somebody from school, may I go say hi?" you asked her. Aya nodded, "Fine, but hurry up, we should really start before the sunsets." You looked over at the person with black hair, who now seems to be running in the opposite direction. You quickly followed the person, "Wait!" you yelled. You ran after the person, but while doing so you began to study the person's clothes. The person worse a medium-length yellow dress, with a red plaid jacket. The person also wore a top hat with rabbit ears sticking out. And that was when you realized that this person may not be fully human. "I can't believe this, I'm late!" Said the person as it look at it's pocket watch. "Excuse me!" You said. The person finally stopped, turning around, with a look of panic it's face. "What?" The person said in English. It took you back a little, it's been awhile since you heard somebody say something in English. Especially since a close of friend of yours finally no longer used broken Japanese.

"Meghan?" You looked at her funny. "Yes, what do you want? I'm very late." She explained quickly. "What are you wearing? And where are your ears? I mean..Your human ears.." You pointed up at her ears. "Arisu, I don't have time for this." She continued to speak in English, but said for some reason said 'your' name in a Japanese accent. "Arisu? Alice?" You now spoke in English as well. Although, you had to admit, you weren't very good at it. Meghan turned her head to look at her watch, "I'm late! I'm late!" she yelled and jumped up at down. Which had to be hard to do considering the fact she's wearing high heels. "For what, Meg?" you would ask, looking totally concerned and worried about her mental health. "I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, Sayonara! I'm late.." She continued to chant as she continued to run down the path towards a tree. You could go back to your sister and study Italian, or you can be be stupid and follow the mentally insane person and go on a adventure. To you, having a adventure sounded more exciting. You followed one of your best friends until you stopped at the tree. "I'm late! For my DATE! Kou is so going to kill me," Meghan sighed, running behind the tree and disappearing. You tilted your head, totally confused. It wasn't until you slowly walked behind the tree that you realized there was a giant hole behind it. You hesitated at first but you did it anyways. You jumped in the hole.

SPLAT!

Or at least that's how you would imagine how it would sound when you landed, ass-first into Wonderland. "Where am I?" You said in English and looked around. Nope, you and only you in a small room. "No point in speaking English anymore, I suppose." You said. Looking around the room, you would take mental notes. There were 4 doors, all different sizes, raging from super tall to super small. And there was a small table right in the center, lucky you didn't land on top of it. You looked back up, seeing a hole in the ceiling. There's no way you could get back up there. "Looks like these doors are my only option." You said quietly to your self, now in your native language. First you tried to open the super tall door. Locked. Next the tall door. Locked. Medium? Locked. Short? Locked. Tiny door. You would curse under your breath, was there really a point to trying this? You grabbed the tiny door handle with your thumb and pinky and as you would have guessed it was locked. You looked back at the table in the center of the room. You looked down at it, but the first thing you noticed was that you were wearing something different. A indigo dress, with a white apron. You also had a nice black ribbon tied around your blond hair. "Now I must be the one loosing my mind, " You could only sigh and shrug it off. You looked back down at the table now. A key,a small bottle, and a piece of cake. The key was very small, and it would fit perfectly for the tiny could feel your sanity leave the window, "You guys must be fucking with me."You said bluntly. You picked up the small bottle, examining it. "DRINK ME," it read. "What if it's poison or something? Not really worth the risk." The message on the bottle magically change, "JUST DRINK IT, GOD DAMN IT." You instantly put the bottle back down, hands now on your hips, you felt quite offended. Until you decided to read the label again.

"Don't make me come down there."

And that's when you thought that maybe you should drink it.

"Hm. I don't feel any different." You said to the bottle as you placed it back on the wooden table. "Wait a minute, am I honestly talking to a bottle? Am I talking to myself? Am I getting smaller?" You asked yourself as you felt yourself shrank. Now you were only six inches tall. You felt slightly happier, now you could escape, using the tiny door! But now there was one problem: You forgot to get the key from the table. "Crap!" You sighed frustrated. You decided to climb up one of the legs that belonged to the table. Finally you were on the surface, and you felt like celebrating. I mean, it took you over 5 minutes just to climb up! You looked at the key, which was now about your height but it had to be twice your weight. You tried to pick it up, but only failed as a result. You looked down off of the table, "This was probably a bad idea." You looked at the small piece of cake that said "Bite me" on it. "I have a feeling it was originally suppose to say 'eat me'" You walked over to the piece of cake was nearly your size, but perhaps a bit bigger. You decided to take a bite out of it, what could possibly go wrong?

CRASH!

You couldn't tell if that was the sound your head made when it hit the ceiling, or the sound of the table being destroyed. Needlessly to say, you hoped it was the latter. You felt tears in your eyes out of pure frustration. You can check out any time, but you can never leave. You felt a giant tear leave your eyes and hit the floor, flooding the place. "Oh god." You continued to sniffle, dipping your hand in the water, fishing for the bottle, key, and cake. You found the bottle, and felt yourself calm down a bit. The key, you had more trouble finding. The piece of cake was ruined however-Unless you wanted to eat something soggy. You inched over to the tiny door, or where you guessed it would be at. You held a tight grip on the key as you drank the last of..Whatever the hell that is in the bottle. Rat poison most likely. You would to hold on to the key as you turned tiny once more, falling into the water. You held your breath, swimming towards the door dragging the key with you. You opened the door, with a click and you felt a sudden rush of relief.

"Aren't you suppose to be smoking instead of eating?"

"Nope! Besides, the risk of heart disease increases at least 25% when you have somebody with my type of body smoking POT. N-Not that I'm overweight..Or anything like that." J.P the blue Caterpillar rubbed the back of his head shyly. "Want some cake? He offered. You instantly shot him down, rejecting his offer. "I'm going to have to pass." You turned to the left and walked off only to pause so you could hear the voice behind you. "Eh? Where are you going?" J.P asked, frowning. "I have to go find Meghan and take her to a mental ward." You had to explain, facing and looking up at him. You weren't exactly used to being this small. "Actually," You started, staring at the cake. "Can I have a tiny bit of that?" You climbed the mushroom he was sitting on. "Of course, of course." He handed you a small tiny chunk of it. You bit into it, eyes widen as you realized you should jump off the mushroom. You did so right on time, as you turned back to your regular size. "Thank god." You smiled. "Thanks, Junpei." He nodded and replies, "Anytime."

You started to walk away before turning around again, "Aren't you suppose to give me advice or something?" You had to ask out of curiosity. Junpei stared at you for a minute, not knowing what to say. "Uhm..Well.. Don't fall into rabbit holes?"

And that's when you made a mental note to strangle J.P later.

You continued to walk down the path, looking around. "Meghan?"? You started to call out. You're dress and hair finally started to dry, you noticed happily. You noticed a black haired figure run into the nearby forest. "Meg?" You ran after her. "Pain in the ass." You cussed under your breath. You hesitated a bit before entering the dark forest. A few minutes in, you noticed there were white signs nailed to the trees.

"Up"
"Down"
"This way if you want to live."
"No matter which way you go, you're fucked."

You frowned as you read the last sign, "Why do I have a feeling Takuya and Kouji are here too?" She walked a bit farther. "Alice?" You heard a voice ask. You suddenly turned around and back the other way, trying to find the source of the voice. The voice didn't sound like Meghan's, it wasn't feminine and it was deep. "I'm not Alice, but can you help me anyways?" You asked. "Alice-chan, up here." The voice said again, chuckling a bit. You looked up this time, seeing something that would confuse you more. "Kouichi?" You asked. Kouichi wore his regular loose baggy jeans, and a purple shirt. He also wore a hooded jacket that had light and dark purple stripes. There was no doubt in your mind that he was apparently the Cheshire cat. But something seemed to draw your attention the most. He had a tail and cat ears. "Erm..Kouichi?" He stared down at you from his tree branch, "Hm~?" He grinned mischievously. Actually, you didn't think you have ever seen him grin before, or at least not like that."Wow. I have no idea if that's turning me on or creeping me out."You said honestly. "Can you please help me out, Kou?" you asked him sweetly. He nodded, "Well of course." He disappeared for a few moments before re-appearing right behind you. "Boo." You turned around quickly, startled. He laughed, and continued grinning, "I'm sorry,did I startle you? Shouldn't have done that." You stared at him for a few seconds in utter disbelief. "Yup. That's sort of creepy." You said. "Sorry, Sorry~" He apologized again. "What did you need help with, Alice?" You took a deep breath before replying. "My name is not Alice." You said. "But it is, right? That's what the Mad hatter told me. And that crazy bastard never lies." You shook your head, frustrated once again. You were getting no where with this guy. "Have you seen.."You paused for a second. If you said 'Meghan' he may not know who you're talking about. "..The White Rabbit?" Kouichi tilted his head at you, and his head flickered. "Ah, yes I have!" He stared at you a bit before blushing, a bit embarrassed."Actually I have a date with her later." You smirked, "Well that explains why she was freaking out earlier. Did she pass through this forest?" You asked him and you noticed something dangling from his ear. 'Is that a earring?' you wondered. He nodded, "Actually, to be honest. When I saw her freaking out, I disappeared so I would be the one that's late. To make her feel better." He gave you a normal smile.
"How nice of you." You smiled back at him softly. "Speaking of which, I believe I'm late!" He said as he began to disappeared. He gave her a grin, "If you want to get out of this forest, I suggest going that way." He gestured towards the exit behind her. He disappears but his grin remains behind, floating. "A grin without a cat, ne?" You remarked. "I've often seen a cat without a grin, but never a grin without a cat." The smile eventually fainted, and now you were staring at empty space. "What just happened?"

You approached a old English table, that had many kettles, and glasses, and china on it. You could see Kouichi sitting at the other side of the table, with a empty seat in front of him. You tilted at the sight, 'I guess Meghan will always be late' you thought. You decided to look at the other people surrounding the table. There was a little boy, no older then 12. He too, like Meghan, had rabbit ears. Looking at the other people at the very other end, there was Meghan holding her broken pocket watch, offering it to a brown haired man with a red top hat with a card on it reading "4/7" Meghan frowned, "Do you think you can fix it, 'Kuyahat?" She said in English, but 'Kuyahat' somehow understood her. Taking the watch from her, he looked it over, "I see the problem. It's exactly two days slow! It can easily be fixed." He reassured her. Meghan bowed before returning to her seat in front of Kouichi. "I wasn't late, was I?" She whispered. "Not at all." He grinned before leaning over, kissing her on the nose. Meanwhile Takuya took off his hat, revealing more of his spiky brown hair. Reaching in it, he took out a mallet and quickly smashed Meghan's watch to bits. "Fixed!" He grinned. Meghan looked over at him, with a angry expression on her face, "You're such a asshole, 'Kuyahat."

"Ahem." you coughed and the four finally took notice of you. "Join us, won't you?" Takuya smiled softly at you. "Well, I suppose." You sat down at the table, next to Takuya and across from Tommy. "We can make this a double date!" He gave you a toothy grin, putting his hat back on. "My name is 'Kuyahat, Alice." You looked away, hiding a small blush on your face. "My name isn't Alice. And even if it was, why would say my name and introduce yourself? You already know my name, so we must've met before." You looked back at him, now he had a upset look on his face. You looked at everybody else, and got the same result. "So uhm.." You squirmed in your seat nervously. "Today is my unbirthday." You said, hoping it'll change the topic. "IT IS?" Tommy squealed. "Want some tea, Alice?" Takuya offered. You nodded, ignoring the fact you were called by THAT name again. "Su-" Takuya stood up, "Time to switch seats again!" Everybody switched seats clock-wise so now you sat at the very end of the table. "Erm.."

"So, Alice, what's the speed of darkness?" Takuya asked you. You looked at him, a bit surprised. You shrugged at him, "I'm afraid I do not know." You're attention was turned onto Meghan and Kouichi who were making out on top of the table. "Uhm." You turned your head towards Takuya, a bit confused. "Ignore them, They always do that every time we switch chairs. I just wish they didn't do it while I'm trying to eat." He grabbed a plate before biting it. "You know, I didn't know a rabbit and a cat could date each other." you remarked. "Alice-chan, why is a raven like a writing desk?" You thought about it for awhile, before responding, "I don't know that one either!" You confessed. Takuya laughed, "Neither do I."

"I better get going. I should really be heading home now." You stood up, and as soon as you did you could hear a loud pitch scream that caught every bodies attention. Meghan looked at Kuya hat, getting off the table. "Takuya Hatter, what time is it?" She asked, frowning. He looked at his own watch, "6pm, why?" Meghan brushed her dress off, grabbing her top hat from Kouichi, who then got off the table. "Fuck! We're late!" She sighed. Kouichi frowned, "We'll be next if we don't hurry." The couple walked off, Tommy joining. Kouichi paused, turning around, " Takuya-Hat, aren't you coming?" he flickered his tail. Takuya rolled his eyes, "Remember the time I sang for her? The bitch almost killed me." Kouichi nodded before catching up with the other two. You looked back at Takuya, "I'll be back." you said before following the other three. "Don't worry! I'll always be here!" He shouted out.

"Where are we going?" You asked. "We're going to visit the King and Queen." Meghan responds, not bothering to look at you. "If we don't go, we're next." You tilted your head at her, "Next? Next what?" This time you didn't get a response. The four of them entered the queen's garden, and what you see didn't really surprise you. Three digimon painting white roses red. "I prefer the color blue, myself." Meghan commented, seeing the sight. "Ah, Jeffu!" Meghan said in English as always, but again she accented the name. A Ranamon looked at her, "My name isn't Jeff, Miss. White Rabbit." Meghan just ignored her before speaking again, "How's the queen today?" She asked. Ranamon sighed, going back to work on painting a white rose, "Same as usual. Bitchy." Meghan nodded and continued to walk with the others. "Too bad the Queen is picky, ne?" Tommy frowned, nervously. The Queen disliked Tommy the most, most likely because he hanged around the mad hatter. Not that you knew that. "Ah, she must be spending her day inside." Kouichi looked around the garden before leading them inside the palace. Upon entering, you could see two thrones, and two figures on them. You couldn't help but feel that they looked fa miler. There was somebody standing in front of the two, two digimon on each side of her. She had handcuffs on, to make the situation worse.
The queen looked disinterested, and was playing with her-No no-HIS DSLite. "Hm. What did she do?" A Lowemon began to explain, "We caught her trying to teach a girl Italian." Your eyes widen as you realized who the prisoner was. The Queen looked up from Mario Kart, face red. "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" He ordered. The digimon nodded, leading her away. "Wai-" Meghan stopped you from moving. You looked at the other three, who looked completely unphased by it. Like it was a every-day thing for them. "That's Aya-chan though.." I whispered. Meghan frowned, "I know. Don't worry though." She said calmly. "Next." The king said. The four of you walked towards them a bit before stopping. "Kouji." Kouichi stared at the Queen who only stared back, "Kouichi." He responded closing his DS. "You three are late." He grinds his teeth. "We got caught up at a tea party." Meghan explained. You, however, couldn't stop staring at the king in disbelief. "Takuya?" You asked. The king rolled his eyes. "I'm getting sick of people comparing me to him." He said. "Every time somebody is late a puppy dies." His faces starts to slowly turn red again. "Meghan, you're always late because you can't get your ass out of bed, and instead of hitting the snooze button you hit your watch, thus BREAKING IT." He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Guards! Off with his head!" he ordered. "W-WHAT? But Kouichi, I'm you're twin brother, for god's sake!" Kouichi panicked and Meghan latched on to him, tears running down her cheeks. Kouji took a good look at Meghan before growling, "Off with both of their heads! Since..Well, it's a cat and a rabbit dating each other and..That's sort of gross and weird."

"You know, that's never going to actually solve anything. Hacking off people's heads like that.." Takuya muttered loud enough for Kouji to hear. "Shut up! Why do you get to be king in the first place?" Kouji crossed his arms. "Remind me why I married you again?" You walked closer them, "First you cut off my sister's head, and now this? I challenge you!" Takuya sighed, resting his face in his hands. "Fine. We'll play a game of croquet to decide the fate of your friends." Kouji stood up, his dress moved as he did. "Somebody get me my high heels."

Everybody went outside, including you. The Queen came out with a red short dress and red heart shaped sun glasses. And of course his red high heels.

"I think I'm getting second-hand embarrassment." You muttered to yourself. The queen adjusted his crown before grabbed a flamingo, "Ready to get your ass beat?"He grinned before hitting a hedgehog with the flamingo's head. "Jesus, where's Peta when you need them?"Meghan muttered to Kouichi. You grabbed a a flamingo from a..mallet..stand..thing. Or a 'Thingamajig' as you liked to call it. You held the light flamingo by it's body. The Flamingo raised it's head to look at you, "Life's a ball." It said. You stared at it, your sanity dying. "Somebody kill me now." You muttered before realizing the Queen was staring at you, smirking. "I was KIDDING."

As she was about to play a gaurd ran up to the queen and whispered in his ear. "A TRIAL." He yelled before walking back into the palace. "For the love of god." Takuya stared as he watched him walk back inside.

The courtroom was filled with people and animals. But mostly animals. The queen sat at the Judge's stand, in a new dress this time. You looked over at the Jury stand, which were filled with animals of different kinds. Takuya walked up to Kouji, arms crossed. "Honey, what are we doing now?" he asked impatiently. You noted that King!Takuya was much different then Hat!Takuya. Kouji smirked as he looked down at him, "I figured we should have a trial instead, honey. Besides, we ran out of jokes for croquet." Takuya shrugged turned back to take a seat, " I think we had plenty left, and you just don't know how to play croquet." You sat by Kouichi, who was looking down at his hands. "Wait, whose this trial for?" You asked. "You, most likely." He whispered. Your eyes widen, "But..But I don't have a lawyer." You whispered back. "QUIET. Baliff, where's Alice's Lawyer? In fact where's Alice?" Kouji looked at empty chairs and table in front of the , however quietly sank in your seat. The bailiff pointed at you, "Over there, Ma'am." He went over and drag you over and made you sit in one of the seats. Kouji glared at the bailiff, "Did you call me 'ma'am'?" he asked. The bailiff began to panic, "I-I can explain! I'm new here, and I didn't know the queen was a guy. Plus you have long hair and wearing a dress..Plus not most guys wear make up." Kouji glared daggers at him, "What's wrong with wearing eye liner once in a while?" he asked. "Meh, off with you're head, I guess!" And soon the baliff was taken away. "And you! Where's your lawyer?" Kouji asked you. You shrugged, "I..I.."

"I'm here!" Hat!Takuya entered the courtroom, wearing a suit and briefcase in hand, however he still wore his hat. "I'm sorry I'm late, Sir." Kuyahat sat next to you and you stared at him. "It's YOU again! I remember last time you were here. Didn't I sentence you to death for murdering the time? You're lucky you escaped." Kouji grinned mischievously. You looked at the queen and back at Takuya, "He's out of his nut!" you whispered to him. Kuyahat shrugged, "You get use to it. Oi, the king is staring at me. He's a handsome guy." You looked at the King and he was right, he was staring at him. Takuya grinned, "I'd hit that. With a fist of angry god." And finally your head hit the desk, surprisingly for the first time today. "Takuya, you're straight. Stop it." You said. "I would like witness #1 to come up the stand." You stared at Kuyahat as he stared at the king who only stared back. "Pretty sure he's checking me out..Should I be worried?" You nodded your head not paying attention to the first witness. "Name?"

"Meghan Sailor." The White rabbit spoke nervously. Kouji stared at her, a bit annoyed. "Why are you talking in English?" He asked but only got a shrug in reply. "When you first met Alice today, what was she like?" Meghan stared at you hesitatingly before responding, "Well, she's been acting weird all day. She keeps saying her name isn't Alice. Also, she's been in a bad mood, I think." She bit her lip, trying to her best to pick out words carefully. She didn't want anyone to get their heads chopped off. "Interesting. You may step down." Meghan sighed in relief as she went to go take a seat by Kouichi. "Next up, I want Witness #2. Mad Hatter, also known as 'Kuyahat." Kuyahat's eyes widen, "C-Can he do that? In fact I didn't even get a chance to question the White Rabbit.."he stood up, looking a bit freaked out. "I'm doomed." You finally admitted. The Queen stared at Kuyahat, "You know, you look like my husband." he commented. "I get that a lot." Kuyahat grinned sheepishly. "So, is it true that Alice has been acting weird?" Takuya nodded.

"Yup. I think she's been hanging around that Caterpillar for too long," He confirmed. You stood up, crossing your arms. "Excuse me, honor. But I would like to question my lawyer." Kouji sighed, resting his head on his desk, "Proceed." he said tiredly. You walked up to the witness bench, looking up. "So. You say I've been hanging around the Caterpillar, hinting that I'm high, correct?" Kuyahat nodded. "Yup." You shook your head, giggling. "You'd be wrong. The Caterpillar does not smoke pot, but instead he eats. Preferably cake." Kouji shrugged, "I still don't see how any of this has to do with anything, but alright. Anything else?" He asked you. You looked down for a moment, thinking quietly to yourself. "Ano..I'm afraid not." You curtsied before returning to your seat. Kouji rolled his eyes, "May I cut somebody's head off now?" he asked his husband who shook his head. "Do you have sort of gore fetish or something?" King!Takuya asked curiously, but Kouji did not respond. "I want Alice to come up here." He demanded and Kuyahat and you switched chairs. "Alice..Can you tell me your experiences in Wonderland so far?"

You nodded, taking a deep breath. "First, I fell down this huge rabbit hole then I was trapped in a room for what felt like hours. I shrank, I grew and then shrank again, almost DROWNED." You said rather quickly. You looked up at Kouji, "SO it's been rather So-So." You said. "Oh, and I found myself wearing this dress." You looked down. "Hm? Oh, yeah we had dress regulations. It's a rule that you must wear ridiculous clothing." Kuyahat explained to you. Kouji sighed looking unamused and rather bored. He pulled out a drawer out of his desk and looked inside. He took out a pack of cards. "Well, Alice. It looks like it's the end of the story."

"E-Eh?" You looked at him confused. He threw the stack of cards at your face yelling, "You're nothing but a pack of cards!"

"The end," Tommy smiled as he closed his notebook. Kouji stared at him with a blank expression on his face, "That was the stupidest thing I have ever read." He complained. Meghan looked at Zoe who was asleep in the bed, in her pajamas and with a wet cold washcloth on her forehead. "At least it put her to sleep." Meghan sat on the edge of the bed. The 6 were in Zoe's room, taking care of their very sick friend. Kouichi looked over at Meghan, tried to give her a grin that was similar to the Cheshire Cat's. Meghan looked at Kouichi, looking at his expression making her laugh. She stuck out her tongue playfully at him. Kouichi's grin eventually faded and turned not a frown."But Tommy," Kouichi started as he sat on the desk's chair. "I'm rather curious, what happens after that? What happens to the Cheshire cat and the White Rabbit? Or the King and the Hatter? What happens to Zoe?" he asked many questions. Tommy stared at his notebook and back at Kouichi. He shrugged, "I'm not sure." Junpei sat in silence on the floor as he ate some chocolate cake with Takuya. "Maybe they lived happily ever after?" Meghan smiled at Tommy. "That wouldn't make sense though."Takuya said in between bites. "Kouji the Queen got bored, and probably chopped off their heads."

"Meghan, has Zoe's fever gone down any?" Kouichi asked her. Meghan felt her cheek, since she didn't want to move the washcloth."Barely. I hope she doesn't have one of those fever dreams."

I TOLD YOU there was tons of bad jokes. But there's two that I didn't get a chance to use. One was: "Time to Queen it up, Bitch!" and another was

Somebody: You can take some mushroom if you want.
Zoe: I think mushrooms are the last thing I need.

Of course, this gives me a chance to use them later, so that's always a plus.