The Toast, an once upon a time fanfic

The Toast

It was the big day. Regina paced back forth looking over the cue cards in Her hands. She had sweated and fretted and agonized over every line of Her Maid of Honor speech. Everything had to be perfect. This was Emma's day and as her best friend the mayor considered it Her personal duty to make certain that it was the best it could possibly be. Countless hours had been spent pouring over the greatest wedding toasts of all time. After filtering out the overly romantic tripe She had discovered that true sentiment seemed to be the key.

A sick feeling twisted in Her gut. Sentiment was full of true emotion, a subject that the queen was not terribly fluent in. She had spent the majority of Her life holding the people She truly cared for at arm's length in terror that showing what they truly meant to Her would only make them a target of Her enemies. Not to mention the less than stellar example of nurturing She had received from Her mother. Through the years and many painful debacles and an endless well of patience on Henry's part Regina was finally beginning to feel as though She was capable of expressing affection in a positive way. That's why Emma's day would be perfect, no matter how much it hurt.

The sorceress's resolution was interrupted by a certain redheaded powerhouse bursting into the tent. "So how's it coming along?" Blue eyes cast about the limited space a moment before Zelena continued, "Well, you haven't fireballed anything yet. So that's good." Cue cards slapped against a toned thigh with a rough sigh before the frustrated brunette replied grimly, "Thanks, that's encouraging."

Pursing wide pink lips in a sympathetic expression Zelena crossed to stroke tan arms comfortingly. "Ooo, I know it can't be easy watching the girl you love marry another. Speachafying their bliss must be torture. Worse than anything I would've inflicted," the outspoken redhead observed.

Pinched dark features recoiled from the accusation. "What do you mean," Regina sharply demanded to know.

"I mean I wouldn't be that cruel and I'm sorry you're going through this," Zelena remarked matter of factly.

With an irritated growl, Regina barked, "No! The other thing. What do you mean, the girl I love?"

Thick lashes beat over clear blue eyes a moment before stating the obvious, "I mean the two of you stare at each other like you're about to rock, paper, scissors to see who gets the honor of bubbling their way down from the door raft is what I mean."

Regina scoffed rolling her eyes, "You're crazy."

"Really," the redhead drawled in a defensive tone. "How many times have you two sacrificed yourselves for each other?"

"Well, I…"

"Mmhmm."

"Look, we share a child and a greater commitment to one another because of him," the rather cross brunette clarified.

"Really? So that's why you blush when she touches your hand and you do that nauseatingly cutesy hair tuck thing every time she walks by," Zelena challenged.

"It's not…. I just…" No matter how Regina struggled for words She had no explanation for Her behavior. The reserved woman had never been able to understand Herself why She became so flustered when Emma was around. There was just something about her. Something in her smile made Her believe in hope again. Something in her strength and loyalty made Regina want to trust another again. It was terrifying and inexplicable or so She had thought before Her sister dropped this particular bomb on an already troubled mind. "It can't be…." Regina tried halfheartedly to excuse Her behavior even as the likely truth of the redhead's words took root and blossomed in Her mind.

"Look, forget what I said. I mean, I'm never wrong but forget it anyway. You've been able to ignore it fairly well thus far. I say embrace the denial. At least until we're through this wretched day," the witch suggested in an encouraging tone.

A wry chuckle accompanied the shake of a head heavy with thought. "Yeah, sure. Thanks for that," Regina grumbled. An almost comedically endearing pout floated before the frazzled brunette's vision as gentle hands stroked tan arms sympathetically. "Oh, come on then. Stiff upper lip, ol' girl," Zelena encouraged. Someone beyond the tent barked the redhead's name as she was likely shirking some duty or another even being there. "Coming," she shouted back before turning her attention back to her sister. The energetic redhead produced a flask from her boot handing it to her sister before remarking on her departure, "If all else fails, this should add some starch to it." With a wink, the redheaded mischief maker was gone.

Left alone with cue cards of a lackluster speech, a troubled mind and a flask of God knows what Regina decided to turn Her attention to the latter. Maybe it would help with that center issue, the crux of Her problem. Feelings for Emma? Was it possible? Could that be that fluttering irritation She could never quite put Her finger on?

As the day wore on it became harder and harder to keep the fake smile plastered on Her face. Even with all of the practice Regina had received in Her training to be queen not to mention actually being one and offering it during negations the false expression still weighed heavily. Perhaps because it had never been so hard to pretend not to feel what She was feeling. Each time the burden bordered on too much the sorceress imbibed the liquid courage Her sister had offered. The little flask had found a home in Her boot. A home it left more and more frequently as the ceremony continued.

And yet there was no pain in the world like watching that ring slide onto Emma's finger. The radiant smile on the blonde's face was absolutely heart-rending. Regina didn't even try to hide the tilt of the flask this time taking several greedy gulps. "Hey, hey, watch it," Zelena counseled under her breath as she took the flask away. Strawberry eyebrows rose nearly to the witch's hairline as she gave the container a bit of a shake feeling how low the weight was. "Dear Lord, how much have you been drinking," she asked.

With a slight contained hiccup, Regina replied honestly in a conspiratorial tone, "Only when it hurts." Pinching the bridge of her nose the redhead exclaimed sharply under her breath, "Oh, Jesus!" Just then confetti flew and rice was pelted upon the giggling retreating couple. "Oh, at last," Zelena breathed a sigh of relief that the torturous festivities were nearing an end. As though in direct conflict to such foolish notions Granny, the drill sergeant in charge of the event, appeared gripping Regina roughly by the elbow. "Come on, we're moving on to the reception. Five minutes til your toast," the gruff woman reminded the queen. "Shit," Zelena shouted following after them another exclamation for each step.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Zelena caught up to her clearly inebriated sister just as She was unceremoniously dumped into a chair at a table near the front. "I'll see if Ruby can scrounge up a black coffee for you," the old woman groused before leaving in search of a cure. Leaning nearer the redhead placed a consoling hand on her sister's arm. "Are you gonna be a'right," she asked in naked concern. "Pshht, sure," Regina scoffed loaded with drunken confidence. Zelena recoiled a moment from the strong scent of liquor on that breath. "I've got cue cards. I'll be fine," the queen assured Her companion withdrawing them from Her bra. As the inebriated sovereign waved the squares of paper in a gesture of confidence they slipped from less than coordinated fingers to spill across the floor.

"Oh, Lord," Zelena remarked with a roll of blue eyes.

"It's alright. I got this," Regina dismissed such concerns as She leaned over to grab the notes. However, not one digit was able to grip a single page before the elbow was hoisted aloft once more. "Come on, your gonna have to wing it, Your Wastedness," Granny growled hauling the queen away.

"I'm going to hell for this," Zelena remarked plainly to no one in particular.

"It's fine. I'll be fine," Regina loud whispered to Her sister as she was dragged away.

"Straight to hell," Zelena whispered to herself with a smile and a wave to the poor soul dragged before the buffet table as though it were her final judgment.

Regina came to a halt before the couple. An immediate nausea arose at the sight of their joined hands. But when warm brown eyes rose to see the dazzling smile in emerald pools the queen melted entirely. She knew then that She was undone. A warm genuine smile graced plush lips as the sauced sovereign faced the situation, "Clearly I started celebrating before all of you." The honest statement drew a round of laughter from the gathered guests.

"And that's okay. It's alright because we have so many wonderful memories of being together just like this. Memories full of smiles and drinks and laughter."

When Emma smiled warmly at the thought Regina thought Her heart would burst. There was no doubt at that moment. It was crystal clear. No matter how poorly timed, no matter how irrelevant, She was in love with Emma Swan.

"And I can understand how Hook must feel. I told you once that he and I are a lot alike. This must be your happiest day," she remarked to the groom trying desperately to be supportive even though the very concept ripped Her heart in two. The clueless groom merely smiled wide and kissed his bride's hand. The sight turned Regina's stomach causing it to burn and clench in agony. Before She knew what was happening truest words began to spill from Her lips, as was traditional in any good toast.

"Do you remember that time we were having a drink and I told you that Hook wasn't good enough for you," Regina laughed bitterly. Emma's face fell and the room became quiet. Lost to Her own pain the unrepentant drunk swiped the groom's flute of champagne gesturing towards him as She continued, "You see the difference between you and me, is that I knew it. I knew I could never be good enough for her, but not you. No, you stumbled around like a lovesick idiot completely unaware or uncaring of your unworthiness. And look where it's gotten you. I gotta say you really got me there. In that, you have completely defeated me."

For some strange reason, every face Regina gazed upon seemed absolutely mortified. As though to save Her toast the completely sloshed sovereign raised Her glass aloft in silent order for others to likewise prepare. "So here's to idiocy winning out again." With that Regina took a long swallow off of the champagne and immediately lost consciousness falling in a pool before the wedding table.

Regina groaned at the throbbing in Her head even as someone delicately applied a cool damp cloth to it. Brown eyes peeked open hesitantly only to come face to face with the angelic-looking source of Her misery. For a moment the regent couldn't recall how She had gotten here. "What happened," a dry cracked voice inquired. Emma's face pinched a moment, jaw clenching as she deposited the cloth in a bowl before wiping her hands on her gown. "You got drunk off your ass, shit all over my wedding and called everyone an idiot," the blonde barked sternly.

Each successive retold event evoked a flinch in the still deeply discombobulated brunette. "Oh God," Regina groaned sitting up to deposit an aching head in her hands. "Honestly not sure if that's from the booze or hitting your head when you passed out in front of everyone," Emma informed in a stiff tone. "I was actually worried for a minute," the savior begrudgingly admitted. The kind statement elicited a tiny spark of hope in the queen's chest that perhaps there might yet be something to salvage here. "Emma, I'm so sorry," Regina began only to be cut off sharply.

"Save it," the savior barked.

The queen's head hung low like a chastised child. Which is exactly how She felt. This entire debacle was foolish, short-sighted and infantile. Regina wouldn't blame Emma if she never spoke to Her again. As though a reflection of Her own thoughts and a painful reminder of how connected they were the blonde angrily ranted, "I've been sitting here this whole time wondering why I don't just walk out that door and never speak to you again. I keep playing it over and over again in my mind. And you know the worst part?"

Brown eyes gazed up wide and curious. "I keep thinking what would Regina do, because when I'm in a tough spot and I'm not sure what the smart thing to do is, that's what I tell myself," the blonde bitterly admitted. A bittersweet smile curved plush lips. "So I've been sitting here this whole time taking care of you, staring at your face trying to come up with a list of pros and cons of still talking to you," Emma stated.

"So, how's it going," a weak fragile voice asked in concern. "Frustrating," the savior barked. With a roughly swallow Regina offered hesitantly, "Well, maybe I can help." Pink lips pursed in rage and conflict pondered a moment before parting to bark, "Alright, smart guy, con!"

Regina looked down at Her boots replying in a small voice, "I'm an asshole."

Emma sighed disheartened to see the strong woman brought so low. Mercifully she asked, "Pro."

With a cheeky smile dark eyes danced up to respond, "I'm your asshole."

Pink lips twitched fighting the urge to smile. In an attempt to keep the strength of her anger about her Emma sassed, "Con."

Having been put in Her place at not being able to so easily charm away Her folly Regina opted for honesty confessing, "I'm terrible with feelings."

Emma scoffed rolling her eyes as she replied, "Clearly! Pro…"

Regina gathered Her breath a moment to face the elephant in the room, "What I feel for you hasn't changed in all the years I've known you no matter how hard I try."

The blonde stiffened swallowing hard around the tightness in her throat at the bold and endearing confession. As though lost to her own methodology Emma spoke in a tight voice, "Con."

Regina took a slow breath comforted that Her confession wasn't met with immediate dismissal. Bravely facing her misdeeds the queen admitted, "You never know what I might do next."

Emerald eyes widened in silent acceptance of the truth of that statement. Taking a step closer to the queen and away from the door Emma invited more virtues gently demanding, "Pro."

Devotion flooded deep chocolate pools as Regina vowed in a wavering voice, "No matter what crazy things I do, I'll always have your back…. even if you never love me back." Proud lips held tight to one another as a stubborn jaw trembled in the naked truth of those raw words.

Unable to remain detached Emma sighed and crossed to stand before the deflated powerhouse of a woman. "Now let me tell you what conclusions I've come to," the blonde stated evenly. Fragile brown eyes rose curious of Her fate. "Con, you're infuriatingly unpredictable," the savior informed her longtime friend. Dark brows bobbed in acceptance of the fact agreeing, "I believe I covered that."

Emma gathered her wedding gown behind her knees to sit next to the sullen brunette offering kindly, "Pro, never knowing what to expect keeps things interesting." The start of smile tugs at wine-dark lips as Regina wryly chuckles, "That's one way to put it." As though to keep the brunette's pride in check a wagging finger accused, "Con, you bottle things up and you don't let me in until you completely blow your stack all over everything like Technicolor emotional vomit."

Regina's nose scrunched along pinched features as she replied in clear distaste, "Colorful… but accurate." Emma smiled at the warm familiar feeling of their usual chemistry returning. "Pro, luckily you're beautiful and charming enough to make up for most of it," the blonde confessed that which she had held in so long with a crooked grin. Dark brows rose over wide brown eyes and flushed cheeks as the queen inquired in astonishment, "I am?"

With restrained laughter the savior reminded her potentially more than a friend, "Con, you trashed my wedding day." A look of abject remorse ruled the sovereign's face as replied penitently, "I know. I'm sorry." A tender caress tucked raven locks behind a finely sculpted ear to afford the blonde a better view of cherished features as she confessed, "Pro, you saved me from a loveless marriage."

Thick lashes bat across wide brown eyes trying desperately to digest the stunning shift in the conversation. "What," Regina gasped in disbelief uncertain if she had heard properly.

With a shrug and a sigh, Emma admitted, "I called it off. I'm going to get the marriage annulled." Regina continued to stare blankly as though this were an alternate universe emerging or perhaps a dream She would soon wake from. Maybe She was having an aneurysm. Taking mercy on the queen's shock the gentle blonde continued, "I don't love him. I used to think I couldn't love anyone like there was something dead inside me. So I tried to cover it up by doing what was expected of me. I was supposed to find a man and get married and live happily ever after, never mind that I didn't want any of it. I didn't even know what I did want until your drunk ass stood up in front of everyone and made a fool out of yourself."

A dazzlingly hopeful smile spread over aristocratic features as Regina sought out clarity to assure Herself that this was not some fantasy, "What are you trying to say?" Gentle hands cupped proud features in a physical reassurance of the reality of the Savior's words as Emma bravely continued, "I'm saying no one knows me better than you. Nobody calls me out on my bullshit like you. No one has ever been so strong and fierce in protecting my heart. No one in the world cares as deep and true as you. And when I was going to do something incredibly stupid and bad for me you stood up and told the whole wide world including me fuck you. I'm saying that you are the bravest, most beautiful asshole I've ever known and I would be proud to be your girl." Before the words can even sink in warm lips sealed Regina's against any possible response. As the utterly overwhelmed brunette gave Herself over to the most amazingly tender kiss of Her life it became clear that words were not needed. Everything that needed to be said was done. All that was left now was to spend the rest of Her life loving Emma.