Hello! Please, enjoy what you read at your own will, within reason and respect. Thank you for reading.
Disclaimer: I do not claim nor own anything. All rights are reserved to their respective owners and no copyright infringement intended. This fiction is for pure entertainment only and not for commercial purposes.
It was a nice summer season for the two girls, leisurely walking just anywhere in their casuals to take a break from school and some other things. They had wanted their friends to come along, but circumstances made them choose otherwise. Mai Tokiha, admittedly missed being happy. Mai was in her second-year of high school and had enough of the drama hounding in front of her, or the back of her.
To a fault, Mai underestimated the jealousy and attraction she had garnered when she began accepting dates from either boys, Yuuichi Tate and Reito Kanzaki. Mai did not have the heart to turn either of them down since they had it planned out, and the boys had been there for Mai during the Mai-HiME incident during her vulnerable times. However, Mai remembered her heart wavering and manipulated during the Mai-HiME incident too.
After that incident and getting stronger from it, Mai learned not to entrust her vulnerabilities to anyone, except for Mikoto, Natsuki, and Takumi. Thinking back, the boys were okay and that their passion for Mai was sweet, but it got to the point where she missed seeing other faces. A gentle prod to Mai's cheek stopped her thoughts and turned her head to see a cheeky Mikoto grinning at her.
"What's cooking in there?" Mikoto chuckled as Mai swatted her finger from Mai's cheek.
Mai smirked and replied, "Just glad to be out of school and away from the dorms any chance I get." She sighed in relief.
Mikoto smirked amusedly, "More boys after you?" She earned a tired groan and a roll of Mai's eyes.
"Don't remind me." Mai shuddered and grimaced, "The letters, serenades, pickups, gifts and such." She sighed and rubbed the side of her neck, blushing a pink hue on her cheeks.
Mikoto laughed, "Mikoto could play a prank on them, make them not come to the dorm because of 'reasons'." She hinted with a mischievous expression on her face.
Mai giggled and shook her head, "Thanks, but no thanks. They'll be persistent during recess instead."
"Mhm." Mikoto fully turned to Mai and warmly smiled, "Mai is welcomed to Mikoto's super-special-secret hideout anytime she needs it."
Mai blinked her eyes, "Isn't that spot for your best-friends?" She enquired and earned a warm, sweet chuckle from Mikoto.
"That was a special-secret hideout for Arika, Erstin, Mikoto and Nina. The secret hideout is for many friends of Mikoto." Mikoto answered with a bright smile.
Mai smiled back, "Yea, I got a little jealous that you had a special-secret hideout without me." She shook her head and looked to Mikoto apologetically.
"I'm sorry for acting like that. It was unbecoming and intrusive of me to dictate you." Mai was about to bow, but Mikoto stepped forward and embraced her suddenly.
"It's okay. We got mad at each other anyway, but I do miss you." Mikoto's tone changed from her usual caring and childlike-self into someone mature and caring.
Mai was rendered speechless and stunned for a moment, and then she smiled and wrapped her arms around Mikoto. The smell and presence of the sun and earth was always refreshing and vitalizing to Mai. Coming back to their room in the dorm without either of them there had left a stinging pain for the both of them. Neither left a note or even spoke to each other at that period of time, and it hurt them more than they had imagined as they ignored each other.
Mikoto was now in her first-year of high school, making friends and becoming better at caring people around her. Mikoto retained her childlike behaviour, but she toned down her hugging when she had grown a bit taller (growth spurt) and almost hurt Mai's because of that. Mikoto still hung around with Mai when they could, and she was considerate when Mai needed privacy and time alone. Then and sometimes, Mikoto would see pass Mai's façade and bring her out, away from everyone including herself.
"Me too, I've missed you since the day we didn't get see each other in our room." Mai gently pushed Mikoto back, "Let bygones be bygones?"
Mikoto beamed a big sunny smile and wrapped her arms around Mai's neck, "Yup! I want Mai's big hug!" She giggled as Mai nuzzled her cheeks and wrapped her tightly in Mai's arms.
"Getting cheeky aren't you?" Mai amusedly said and tickled Mikoto with raspberries all over the face.
"Nooooo! Mai's icky-slobbers!" Mikoto laughs as she playfully avoided and pushed Mai away from her.
Successfully, Mikoto slipped away from Mai's arms and ran off with Mai chasing after her.
"Come back here! I haven't hugged and slobbered you enough!" Mai yelled and grinned mirthfully as she pursued Mikoto.
Just like that, Mai did not need to worry anymore and have fun with Mikoto: no need to worry about makeups and dresses to appease boyfriends, to catch on and speak up to everything they want Mai to say, to forcefully accept gifts despite of clearly not liking them, and worrying about sticking to society's standards. Today, Mai just wants to be herself, be happy for who she is, and to love whomever she might come to love one day.
"Nyeh-nyeh! Mai is a slobber and a slowpoke!" Mikoto taunted, sticking her tongue out as she pulled an eyelid down.
Mai puffed her cheeks and frowned, "Mikoto! I'm gonna' teach ya' some real manners, ya' get!"
Mikoto yelped and ran with all her might as Mai stomped-sprinted for her with mirth and mild anger in those purple-eyes. Yet, it was fun and playful as Mai caught Mikoto a few times, slipping away from her arms and chasing Mikoto again. Their playful pursuit eventually brought them to a convenience store, tired and hot from the sun.
"Haa… haa… stop… Mai…" Mikoto placed a hand to the wall, breathing out in exhausting and sweaty from the exposure to the sun.
"Urrggh…" Mai groaned and weakly wrapped her arms around Mikoto, "Finally… caught… you…" She slumped onto Mikoto, and both of them fell on to the bench by the wall.
"Maaaiii…" Mikoto whined and smiled amusedly as she turned to lie on her back.
"Not… *huff* getting… away… *huff* Mikoto…" Mai's smile was irremovable as she laid her head on Mikoto's chest, hearing the warm beating of Mikoto's heart.
Too tired and despite of the heat both of them were feeling; they were happy to stay that way, hugging each other. Then, a gentle hand brushed Mai's hair, the fingers threading in and gently caressing Mai's scalp. Mai knew it was Mikoto's hand, and hummed contentedly as the lulling of peace soothed her soul. Mai giggled and stirred Mikoto's curiosity with amusement.
"What has had tickled Mai's bones?" Mikoto asked, and Mai responded with a soft hum and nuzzle on her chest.
"I used to stroke your hair, and now you're doing the same thing to me." Mai smiled as Mikoto brushed a strand of her hair to the back of her ears, and then tapping a finger to her cheek.
Mikoto grinned as Mai giggled, "Mikoto liked the way Mai did it. I think it's fair that Mikoto shares the experience with Mai."
"I'm happy, and you're so sweet." Mai gently took Mikoto's free hand and kissed the back of Mikoto's hand, "Thank you."
Mikoto softly smiled and placed her clasped hand on to Mai's cheek, "I care about Mai the most, and as long as Mai's happy, Mikoto's happy too."
Mai hummed and relaxed herself to the comfort, peace, and safety on Mikoto's chest. With Mikoto's hand on Mai's cheek, they soaked in the simple tender, affection they had personally between them. Frankly, Mai loves it when Mikoto took care of her, which is strange since Mai that took care of Mikoto about a year back then. Yet, Mai was a little curious what had Mikoto become more caring and dependable ever since.
"Mikoto…" Mai softly called, and Mikoto hummed in reply.
Mai leaned up from Mikoto's chest and asked, "What made you… reliable and caring? Is it your friends?" She remembered the times Mikoto was clueless, worried, and stressed up of their friends fighting with each other.
Mikoto hummed thoughtfully, "Well… Mikoto had more than one reasons." She stated and got up with Mai to sit on the bench together.
"Oh?" Mai smiled as Mikoto blushed and smiled sheepishly.
"Mmm… I don't know how it started, but it had something to do with Mai." Mikoto chuckled as Mai gave her Cheshire grin and piqued Mai's interest.
"Go on~." Mai leaned in and said interestedly.
"It's not interesting." Mikoto smirked as Mai whined and pouted at her.
"Come on, don't start and tease me. Wait, did I do something wrong and not notice it?" Mai gasped, and Mikoto just laughed and shook her head.
"No, no, no. Mai didn't do anything wrong. It's just that Mikoto liked watching Mai." Mikoto said, and she chuckled as Mai stared at her wide-eyed.
"To be honest, I wanted to be able to understand people like Mai. So I watched Mai and learned how to be caring when it's needed, like the time Natsuki was sulking and Mai had to come and comfort her." Mikoto blushed and looked away as Mai gave her a grin.
"I remember that. Natsuki was sulking over her bike turned over to the authorities. It was unfortunate for her to not know it was illegally parked at the wrong spot." Mai shared an amused grin with Mikoto.
"Yup. Mikoto wanted to cheer Natsuki up, but I did badly and ended up pestering her. Natsuki snapped and got so mad at me, I cried and ran over to Mai." Mikoto blushed and scratched her cheek in embarrassment.
Mai giggled, "You were crying over me to help Natsuki despite of what had happened to you. I was puzzled and checked on Natsuki at your insistence, and when I did, I left Natsuki alone after a quiet peek in her room." She turned to Mikoto and earned a nod.
"That's right. Mai just knew when and what to do to make her friends happy. Mikoto on the other hand approached forcefully, caused them to be irritated, and pushed uncomfortably into something they don't want to do at the moment." Mikoto sighed and hung her head back, leaning her head to the wall of the convenience store.
Mai softly smiled and patted Mikoto's hand on the bench, "You were, and I lectured you about it. I wanted to say you were at fault, but it wasn't the right time for you."
"Mhm. That got Mikoto thinking how uncaring and inconsiderate she was, and pushy too." Mikoto admitted openly, and Mai gently squeezed her hand in comfort.
"Yes, but that kind of pushiness isn't that bad. Some people need the confidence, or a shove when they have decided on something, but when it came to the time of it, they started backing away even though they wanted get over with it." Mai quirked a brow, and then snorted at the irony that shot back at her.
Mikoto smirked, "Right back at ya' huh?" She laughed as Mai groaned and puffed out the blushing cheeks.
"Anyway, I think that was what had gotten Mikoto to start learning and caring about people. Mikoto doesn't like to see people sad, so I want to do better at making them happy and become a better friend." Mikoto said and smiled.
Mai nodded, "Okay, but do you think you can make everyone stay happy?" She asked.
Mikoto firmly shook her head, "No. If everyone is happy, he or she might know what there is to be happy about. They're just happy, but not content with the things they want and need." She answered and softly smiled as Mai proudly smiled at her.
"Then, what about you, Mikoto?" Mai asked next, and Mikoto's smile deflated and looked away from her.
Silence struck between them, but it was not uncomfortable; just stuck on a fence without a decisive direction to jump over which side. Mai waited patiently and pulled her hand off Mikoto's hand, allowing Mikoto to ponder for the time being. Mikoto's expression barely changed from the deep-thought look she has.
Mai rarely saw that look on Mikoto's face; a rather mature look that she could stare and wonder what and how does Mikoto think. To some of their friends, Mikoto was her usual self as she grew up, but they tend to miss the little things she had tried to help others. Mikoto's subtlety was different from Natsuki's subtleness. Natsuki does things with cunning and intellect, and although she speaks abrasively and bluntly, she was honest at most. Meanwhile, Mikoto tends to observe and stick to the shadows as she leaves hints of items and words to push or move people onwards.
"I…" Mikoto started and looked ahead, "I'm happy with the way things are now." She said.
"Are you sure? You don't sound certain." Mai asked and glanced to the side to see Mikoto's lips pursed in.
Mikoto stayed silent for a short moment, and then she sighed as she clasped her hands together on her lap.
"No… because Mikoto needs Mai. I need Mai because, there's-…" Mikoto's voice shook as the words she wanted to say scared her and Mai.
Mai stilled her hands from reaching over to Mikoto, waiting and letting Mikoto squeeze out the words threatening to cower away. Mai believed in Mikoto's strength, and that coddling Mikoto would deter Mikoto's resolve. Mikoto exhaled aloud, and then she turned her head to Mai with a look that said many thing to Mai.
"Mai, do you remember the time when we finally saw each other and made-up?" Mikoto enquired, and earned a nod from Mai.
"We were at the docks. I left a note in our room to meet there." Mai said and Mikoto gave a brief smiled to her.
"How did it feel to finally see each other again?" Mikoto asked next, and Mai's smile was contagious.
"I felt alive when I see your face, and I could breathe again, seeing your eyes and hearing your voice; as if, a part of me was put back together because of you." Mai answered as her gentle purple-eyes gaze at Mikoto's yellow-eyes.
"Mikoto felt that too, but there's more… isn't there?" Mikoto urged on, seeing through the gentle façade Mai often used on her to evade answers.
Mai blinked her eyes in shock, and her smile faltered as her own heart started beating fast.
"Please, tell me the truth, Mai." Mikoto asked earnestly and softly, the same voice that she used at the docks.
Mai looked away and now it was her turn to clasp her hands together and get a hold of herself. Mikoto did not touch her and waited, just as Mai had waited for her. To be honest, there was more to it than just making up with a friend, feeling better to have that special person smile and see you again, to embrace and feel the warmth from them. However, Mikoto was more than a special person; she is an important, special person to Mai.
Mai sighed and leaned back on the bench, "I have felt… something more…" She clasped her hand to her elbow and squeezed nervously.
"But I wanted to be normal; live a life that's simple and nice, knowing that ahead of my future was safe and peaceful." Mai looked to Mikoto as her eyes glazed with the crushing of a hopeful reality.
"It doesn't work like that. I cannot forget what we have gone through and think that I could easily step back into a normal life. I could have, but a part of me says that I am a coward to turn a blind-eye to the real strength inside me. I fought against you, and I cried for you when pretended to die when you're actually hungry." Mai half-heartedly glared, and Mikoto sheepishly smiled.
"But that's not it. I thought I understood myself, and love everyone, and through that love; I thought that I had no doubts when it came to loving Yuuichi, or Reito." Mai shook her head.
"I was wrong. That doubt came back to me when I sunk my own confidence to build a 'normal' life; a life that Reito and Yuuichi thought that I might become acquainted and forget the past." Mai sighed and abruptly stood up, walking a little away from the bench and folded her arms to her chest.
Mikoto remained seated and kept her gaze on Mai's back; letting Mai silently vent out the complex and complicated tuning that she had seen in the depths of Mai's eyes. Like Mai, Mikoto had tried too hard to adjust and become a part of society, which the two girls thought and believed that love was bound into and part of society. Thinking of that, both of them felt the sense of constriction, oppression, and error to think that love was determined and ruled by society's architecture.
It led them to a state of confusion, and had a mysterious feeling igniting in their hearts. They do not blame society, but the way they thought to see love as part of society's tribulation and foundation. There is or was something more than just love and or society, and both girls could feel it.
They were scared – scared that they would be shunned by either the incompatibility or incompetence in a stable and secure life within society; not because of two girls or women loving each other, but the traits and characteristics lacking to build a proper life, a greater potential within each other, or perhaps, the lack of matching terms of each other.
Mikoto cared less about that, especially when she had once thought of separating herself from Mai, as she grew more independent and trusting of people. The thought of it, or even doing it, froze Mikoto to the bones, constricting her breath, dulling her mind, and the life and colour around her faded into a colourless shade. Mikoto needed Mai, there was no exception to that discovery, and she was incredibly frightened of that aspect, because she knew little of worth about herself, let alone redeeming to Mai.
That alone brought a whirl of negative emotions and feelings Mikoto could not stop. Mikoto needed closure – to conclude that Mai does not want a life with her and go on with life. Still, Mikoto would be happy, elated, and blessed to stand and be Mai's partner… lover… or perhaps that one 'wishful', nagging word, soul mate.
Mikoto was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a soft and sorrow sniff ahead of her. Mikoto almost ran over to embrace and console Mai, but instead, she controlled herself despite of the overwhelming need. Mikoto stiffly and slowly walked behind Mai and made her presence known that she is there for Mai.
Mai hung her head down as her words came out strained and tight, "I need Mikoto too, and those feelings are so strong."
The moment when Mai lifted her head and turned to face Mikoto with her arms crossed, the tears slowly came pouring down. It took all of Mikoto's to control herself, but it broke and she opened her arms, as both girls sought for each other's embrace. Mai shook as Mikoto hugged her, letting her broken words pour out from her lips.
"I tried too hard… to become a girl, a woman… that people will love… want…" Mai paused and took in a shuddering breath, refusing to let the hiccups or sobs, but the sorrowful sniffles to interrupt her words.
"I could have been happy… like that… but it's not enough." Mai's voice pitched and strained as she continued, her fists clenching around the front of Mikoto's shirt with sheer need.
"Me too… I can't become what other's want." Mikoto held Mai tight, gently caressing the nape and scalp, while the other hand rubbed Mai's back.
Standing under the sun, hugging out of need and support, as the pressures of their wants and needs conflicted with the slowly ever-changing societal circle; both girls quietly sobbed and let their tears wet their shoulders. They had tried hard to infuse themselves to meet up to social standards; become a competent and reliable person so that happiness is found amongst civilization. However, it felt uncomfortable, dumbed down, and uneasy as the torrents of whispers, gossips, and rumours lurked and dictated their life.
Eventually, the sobs quietened and came to a slow end, exhaling and inhaling slowly from their breaths as they leaned onto each other. Their hold became softer as does their pent-up stress. Gently keeping their arms and hands on each other as they leaned away, the tear-stained look amused them with a soft giggle. They raised their hands and brushed the tears from their cheeks, smiling as they leaned into the touch. Brief it was, and they pulled away to clasp their hands together.
"I want to be honest, stronger, and better; no more of becoming somebody else that I thought I should be. I don't have to be a woman of model in anybody's eyes, because I am the stubborn-girl that fought and challenged The Obsidian Lord with her friends." Mai's small smile expressed many emotions.
"Mikoto as well; I'm not letting someone dictate me just because I am a girl, or that my sword should be at the hands of a man who would be my lover. Mikoto is her own, and only she wields the sword as if a part of her." Mikoto's words were bold, full, and firm as if her life depended on it.
The gentle smiles adorned their faces, proud of their declaration witnessed and heard by their special, important person. Their eyes shone with warmth, and their faces glowed with joy at the release of the unnecessary baggage.
"There is one more thing however…" Mai said, her smile faltering a little and hesitation could be seen in her eyes.
Mikoto raised their clasped hands and cupped Mai's cheek, grinning as Mai grinned and blushed. They shared a look that conveyed that one more, suppressed, longing wish they have desired since then. With a soft squeeze to their hands, the two girls slowly inched their faces forward. Their gazes were absorbed in the shades of colours of their eyes, slowly drooping their eyelids, feelings conveyed and poured into their souls. The instant their eyes closed, their lips met, and the whole world blanked out.
Author's afterword:- Woah… woah… Hello… and woah. That's like, what I'm really feeling when I wrote and reread this. It feels unique and different. Not original really, but unique is the feeling I get from this one-shot. It at first started out that I just wanted Mai and Mikoto to get away from school and the drama there, let them have fun. Slowly and without being aware of it, the story took a life of its own and conveys me the things that the characters had gone through and want.
It sounds really crazy and insane, fictional even, but it was a very unique and interesting experience, ever. I don't know what to say about this story, but it gives me a special feeling. I'd like to hear what you guys think, because this one had me reeling with shock and utter disbelief, but it is very special to me.
I hope you enjoyed what you read at your own will, within reason and respect. Thank you for reading.