kind of a freak

An Undertale shitpost

By

EvilFuzzy9


Rating: T

Genre: Humor/Parody

Characters/Pairings: Human, Sans; [weird and cracky and creepy Chara/Sans]

Summary: Humans are twisted. [hints of nsfw, npc]


"...you're kind of a freak, aren't you?"

Sans looked at the twisted smile on the human's face, the tint of red in their cheeks, the glassy quality of their intently leering eyes. He could tell that their breathing was uneven, ragged, but it did not seem to be from exertion or even frustration.

This unnerved him just a little.

"Burn me in your Hell," the human answered, grinning at him with a frightfully enraptured look on their face.

"huh," said Sans. "well, whatever floats your boat. i guess."

He flicked his wrist and conjured a quartet of bestial skulls around the human, which opened their mouths wide and fired off a barrage of oral wave motion cannons. The human (and he idly mused that he had never actually bothered to ask their name, had he? not that it really mattered now) nimbly dodged the opening assault and darted forward, knife in hand.

Sans sidestepped, fully expecting a savage attack. It caught him off his guard, therefore, when the human rather reached out their free hand and shoved it down his pants.

He stared blankly at their flushed cheeks and wild grin. They were breathing heavily, panting, their shoulders rising and falling.

They licked their lips.

A shiver went down his spine.

"please don't touch my baculum," Sans said, feeling distinctly violated.

"Make me," the human said in response, leering at him and... rubbing.

Sans felt like he was about to have a bad time.


A/N: I am cheeky trash. That's all there is to be said.

Also, yes, humans don't actually have penis bones, but Sans is a monster. Who's to say what sort of anatomical curiousities might exist there? :P

Updated: 1-19-16

TTFN and R&R!

– — ❤