What Could Have Been
Blurb: This is the story of what could have been if Season 1 had ended in another way. This is the alternate version of Mary & Matthews life together.
Chapter 1
"Will you marry me?" His words hung there. Mary couldn't help but think about all the things she should have been considering in this moment: her family's expectations, their future together, what society would think etc. But all she could consider was how surprised she was by how good those words sounded and how without ever realising it she had been longing for him to say them. How much had changed since that first meeting at Crawley House she would never imagined how her feelings would have made such an alteration as this. Of course so much had happened since then that changed not only her perspective on the world around her but the people especially Matthew Crawley.
Because of this her answer felt the most natural thing in the world: "Yes" and Mary felt complete. Then there was the few seconds after as Mary saw so many expressions pass over her Matthew's face shock, surprise, and disbelief then pure unadulterated joy. She felt her own face light up. Then suddenly she was in his arms being swung around the dining room then and only then did Mary allow all her happiness and joy in this moment spill out. She felt like a giggly teenager again and couldn't contain her giggling, even though she knew she should have held her usual high society façade she couldn't hold herself back any longer. She felt all their past mistakes, missed opportunities and misunderstandings fade away into nothing. Nothing mattered any more but their future years of basking in their love and admiration.
When Matthew placed her on her feet again it felt the most natural thing in the world to take his handsome face between her hands and place her lips gently against his. Mary could feel his surprise in the kiss then gradually he gave himself up to it and she felt his arms encircle her back to pull her closer to him. She would not have ended that perfect second kiss for the world had they been the only two people in the universe. Of course there were two very important people waiting unknowingly upstairs.
" What now?" he asked looking down at her expectantly.
"First things first we must do the proper thing and acquire a certain persons permission. But before we do that.." Mary trailed off as her hands reached up to trace the handsome features of her fiancés face but she was losing her train of thought. "Tell you what how about we divide and conquer. I'll tackle Mama while you deal with Papa. Deal?"
"Deal" he chuckled. Then his hand slowly drifted down her waist until he was clutching her small hand in his. Mary looked down in wonder at their linked fingers smiled to herself and pulled him out of the dining room door towards the grand staircase. Before they started to climb however Matthew pulled her back to give her a quick peck on the lips before he led the way up the staircase.
As they ascended the stairs together holding hands Mary could feel her heart beating like a freight train against her corset she didn't know why she was so nervous about the news coming out. She knew how positive most of her family's reaction would be (not counting her Aunt Rosamunds' prickly feelings towards Matthew) about this happy event that was to occur. Maybe it was because in these first few minutes it was she and Matthews own little secret and a small part of her wanted it to stay that way. Of course she couldn't ignore the other half of her that wanted to run and shout it from the rooftop of this great house so the whole world would know. She squeezed Matthews's hand one last time then took a deep breath and made her way to her mothers' bedroom door.
Once she was there Mary paused for a moment and could hear her mother Cora and Cora's ladies maid O'Brien busying themselves winding down for the day. She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob for possibly a second too long because suddenly the door was opened by O'Brien and there she was face to face with her mother. At first Mary could only listen, as her mother yet again expressed her gratitude for Matthew coming to her younger sister Sybil's rescue earlier that evening at the counting of the votes riot. While talking her mother climbed in her bed and told Mary she hoped she had thanked Matthew properly for what he did. As Mary considered her answer she also considered how best to bring up her news.
She decided to build up to it so she informed her mother what she had done by getting the servants to make him some sandwiches. She could see from the look on her mother's face that she didn't believe that was the whole story. Mary thought there was no other way to tell her mother about her engagement but to just spit it out.
"Have you given him an answer?" Cora sat in her bed expectantly waiting to hear what she had secretly hoped to happen for a few months now.
"I told him I would." Mary could see the shock on her mother's face quickly melt into complete joy and excitement at the prospect of her eldest daughter taking her place as Countess of Grantham one day. As expected her mother wanted to know every detail of the proposal and knowing her mother as she did Mary could see she was already beginning to make plans for the wedding.
"How long have you known about the manner of your feelings for Matthew?" Mary could see that her mother was worried that she had accepted Matthew's proposal for all the wrong reasons. "We certainly owe him a great deal of gratitude for his actions this afternoon to aid Sybil. But Mary you should not marry him out of gratitude."
"I don't Mama." Mary couldn't look at her mother as it all came spilling out. "My feelings towards him have changed so gradually that I was not truly aware just how much until he proposed. I love him Mama. I have not always loved him, as you well know but I love him now so very dearly. I have fallen so deeply for him that I doubt I would be happy with anybody else as long as he walked the earth. He is the love of my life."
It was only at this moment that Mary had the courage to glance up at her mother who was so happy she was completely speechless. Mary could see her mother's tears of happiness threatening to spill over so moved forwards to wrap her arms around her in shared jubilation at the news. This joy between mother and daughter was only heightened when Robert came into the room. Surprised at finding Mary there he couldn't hold in his ecstasy any longer.
"Is it really true?" The sight of her fathers undoubted excitement rendered Mary speechless so she just nodded in confirmation. Without warning he crossed the room in two big bounds and pulled Mary in his arms for the first bear hug he had given her since her coming out ball. When he pulled back from the hug seeing from her face that this is something Mary wanted just as much as he and Cora he couldn't do anything but keep kissing her forehead.
"Where's Matthew?" she asked. " Has he gone home already?"
"Yes. He decided he couldn't leave it any longer and had to rush home to inform his mother." Robert told them.
"That's good. In all the excitement I had completely forgotten about Isobel." Mary said as she noticed the lateness of the hour. "Anyway I shall say good night now and will see you both in the morning. Also you do know really smart people sleep in separate rooms?' Her parents shared a look at this remark. 'Never mind, goodnight."
As Mary left her parents to their happiness on the long walk back to her bedroom she kept thinking over and over about her Matthew and day dreamed about their future. On walking into her bedroom she wasn't surprised to find Anna already there waiting to hear what had happened.
"Well?" Anna asked was practically bouncing on the spot in excitement.
"Mr Crawley and I are engaged…" Mary couldn't get any more that that out before Anna had bounded across the room and they had both started bouncing together. After all the jumping and squealing had subsided Mary told Anna to keep the secret to herself at least for tonight.
"Of course Milady." Anna agreed. "You can rely on me. Now lets get you ready for bed it's a big day tomorrow."
"Dear Anna." Mary couldn't help smiling at Anna's shared joy at the news and sat down at her dressing table to get dressed for bed. Once she was ready Anna practically skipped from the room. Mary couldn't help smiling to herself and went to sleep that night hoping with all her heart that all who knew her would share in Anna's joy at the news.
End of Chapter 1