A/N: This is a parody. A very, very, VERY obvious parody, and a pretty mean one at that. I mean no offense to anyone to anybody who writes stories like this, I'm only pointing out that they have a tendency to crop up A LOT on this site. I'd probably make one for my main fandom if there were more than two pages, but it'd just be a poorly written paragraph saying something along the lines of: "Allie and Ray are like, soooo perfect for each other! Who are these 'other characters' of which you speak? What's a kaiju? All that matters is Ray and Allie's true love!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb, nor do I hate the series or any characters depicted within this parody, and Swampy eats bugs.

So, once upon a time, one whimsical summer day, Phineas and his step-brother Ferbs Fletch were just doing there things, just bulking things while their sister was in a hormonal rage cuz she's a girl and she's evil because she's a girl and she was complaining to her best friend Stacy who is also a girl but she's not like other girls, she is a cool girl.

They were talking about shoes or whatever when Phineas went on an adrenaline rush crazed musical number and annoyed her again. This made her mad so (heh, heh, Candace is bad) she stuck her head outside and screamed "Phineas, shut you triangle face, before I break you face." Phineas stuck out his tongue at her in a cute and also douche way and ignored her and then Isabella Garcia Shapiro came in but she was hot and really pretty and oh my god this girl is 11 why the hell do you describe her as sexy you sick bastards.

And she was like "Hai, Phineas. I wanna marry you. I mean, I want to be your gf. I mean. You're super cute. I mean, what'cha doin'? Please propose to me, please." she said, putting on a wedding dress from out of literally nowhere and blushing wildly like a sweaty fat dog in an ugly Christmas sweater. Phineas proceeded to do a sweet skateboard trick off a flaming shark corpse while playing an electric guitar.

Ferbs then said. "Crumpets, Cricket, Rugby, Ello Governor. Isabella is in love with you, wot, old bean. I shouldn't be talking for this long bloody effing hell, you brainless git, kiss her now. Harry Potter, Doctor Who."

Just then, Vanessa walked in with her boyfriend who was ugly. He was Monty Monogram and he was ugly. He said something boring but I won't write it because I hate him so much, and he's boring. Wow, I think I'll type up a 5,000 word essay about just how much I want him dead because he's an obnoxious Gary-Stu. Ferbsnessa for life.

"Ugh, Johnnie, I mean Gary-stu, I mean, Monty, I hate you!" Said Vanessa, loudly breaking up with him. "I am breaking up with you. You are gay, but I am not a homophone." She said angrily but in a sexy way and oh come on you guys she's also underage screw all y'all. "Also I am married to Ferbs."

And then Monty got hit by a bus. And a truck. And a train. And a zeppelin. All at all the exact same time as each other. Nobody cried at his funeral. Good.

AND THEN PHINEAS DIED BECAUSE HE FELL OFF HIS MASSIVE COOL INVENTION. HORRIBLY. IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TOWN. AND ALSO PERRY AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY. AND IT WAS AWFUL. THERE WAS LIKE BLOOD EVERYWHERE. AND IT WAS HORRIBLE. EVERYBODY WAS CRYING. AND WAS MISERABLE. AND IT SUCKED. ISABELLA FELL INTO MAJOR DEPRESSION, AND FERB TRIED TO REINCARNATE HIM AS A ROBOT ZOMBIE, BUT IT FAILED. AND THE ROBOT ZOMBIE BLEW UP. AND CANDACE NAMED ALL HER TRIPLET BABIES AFTER HER FALLEN DEAD BROTHER, AND WAS SAD ABOUT IT.

And then it turned out to be all a dream that Perry had after eating garbage off a tree stump, the end.