So, here's a crack fic to make up for the sadness of the last mini fic. I don't where I came up with this...it's really kinda pathtic. Wrote this before season three came out, so I had to fix Dean's deal somehow. Yeah, maybe this wasn't the best way, but it made me laugh.

I mean no offense to Christians, or Christianity, this is just shameless fun. Please don't shoot me.

Supernatural still doesn't belong to me, and after finding this, that might be a good thing. .

oOoOoOo

"No. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no," Dean couldn't, wouldn't believe what he had heard, "No Sam, you can't…you can't have…Sam…" Dean whispers his despair under his breath as Sam walks closer to the throne before him. The throne Sam never should have seen. The throne reserved for the prince of hell. Sam was smiling, taking the throne that remained empty until now. "Why Sam, why are you here?" Dean asked softly, "Why are you in hell baby brother?"

"Leave!" Sam commanded his new minions with a smirk, "I will give you your orders when the time comes." Sam's eyes flashed yellow and walls trembled, demon's fleeing from Dean's brother. "Dean," his voice was stern, but held a new softness to it, "Please, come out of hiding. I won't hurt you and I do owe you and explanation." He sounded like Sam, the same face, same body, same eyes. Dean walked forth from the shadows that had been his hiding place. Sam smiled at the site of his brother, "Good, it looks like you're still you," and the smile was so much his Sammy that Dean knew he could never deny him.

"Sammy?" Dean asked, "Why are you here? Why are you on the throne?"

"So I can be with you," Sam smiled, "Lucifer herself gave me her blessing."

"Wait, herself?" Dean stopped him, confused, "Lucifer's a chick?" That made Sam laugh, full and oh so Sam.

"Yes Dean, Lucifer's a female. Prefers to go by Luci," Sam continued, "And turns out she's quite nice as well."

"Lucifer's nice?" Dean asked, growing more confused by the second.

"Well, she is God," Sam answered with a shrug.

"Hold on a second! Lucifer is God?! When did that happen?" Dean thought he was confused before.

"If you'll give me a second I'll explain some of what's been going on. Lucifer came to meet me after Lilith was killed. Said if I took my place as her heir I could see you, even guide you through the depths of hell straight to heaven. You see Dean; heaven's the inner most circle of hell. I hold your soul now. You can go to heaven and wait for me therewith mom and dad. Or you can stay here with me until Lucifer resigns her post to me," Sam finished. Dean knew Sam had held some details back, but Dean would save those for another time.

"I'm with ya Sammy, to the end," Dean pledged his loyalty.

"If you're sure," Sam asked, uncertainty shining in his eyes.

"C'mon Sam, someone's gotta take care of you," Dean smiled, "So now what Sammich?"

oOoOoOo Break in Time oOoOoOo

Dean knew he'd have abilities to learn, heck, he was looking forward to his powers. He could just imagine the looks on the faces of the demons he would send back to hell when he used their own abilities against them. What he hadn't expected though, was for Sam to be such a harsh trainer. He pushed Dean relentlessly, barely letting him catch his breath. Dean wondered what made Sam push him so hard.

"Hey Sam, can we maybe take a break man. Catch our breaths?" Dean finally asked when training became too much.

"Sure Dean, I have been pushing you a little hard today," Sam offered an apologetic smile, "How does thirty minutes sound?"

"Like heaven comparatively," Dean sighed.

"I'm sorry Dean, but you're been making such good progress, I'd say in another week of this and you'd be able to go on your fist hunt."

"Dude," Dean replied, "I could go on a hunt now. We hunted without our abilities for years, what's so different now?" The flash of grief in Sam's eyes warned Dean of the conversation to come.

"True, but not as many demons, and never such powerful ones at that," Sam ran a hand though his sweat slicked hair, "I just don't want to loose you again."

"I know Sammy," Dean said, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder, "And you won't. don't intend to ever leave you again."

"I have a slight surprise for you," Sam said. "I won't be doing your last week of training, Luci will."

"Lucifer's gonna train me? Cool," Dean smiled, "She hot?"

Sam laughed, just like Dean to ask about her appearance, "Yeah Dean, but you're not her type, wrong equipment."

"Like I care, you know my type Sam, and she's most definitely not it, "Dean smirked, "Speaking of, have you talked to Jessica? You know, about us?"

Sam laughed lightly as Dean squirmed in obvious awkwardness, "Yeah actually, and she's happy for us, as are mom and dad, which really threw me for a loop. They're just happy that we're happy. Jess even found an old boyfriend, died a few months before we got together. He still loved her and was in heaven. Now we're all happy. Things worked out in the end."