Mitten here
If you don't remember me from the last fan fiction, well too bad. I guess I'm the beta here again
This fanfic was written by Scarf, with help from me, Boots, and Hood.
Since Scarf forgot to do the disclaimer, I'll do it for her
THEOBSESSEDMORONSOCIETY DOESN"T OWN ALL OF THE FOLLOWING: Harry potter, Hellsing, Angel Beats!, or Penny Arcade.
Ja ne
-Mitten
101 Ways to Kill Dolores Umbridge Part I Numbers 1-25
1. gunshot What an unlucky woman. What happened? She got shot in the head. ...Well, see ya on Monday!
2. fire No one ever figured out how the fire started.
3. tornado It wasn't the tornado that itself that killed her but the bathtub that landed on her.
4. tsunami She was out on the beach when the waves hit.
5. Avada Kadava She never saw it coming.
6. gets hit by a train .like a fly on a wind shield
7. gets a role in Friday the 13th Jason hated the toad woman, she was the first to go.
8. Hanging Her execution was over quickly and everyone cheered
9. Voldermort ..oh, the irony! Coming to a theatre near you...Toad Woman vs. Snakey!
10. Barty Crouch Because I'm the author of this fanfiction and I want him to kill her.
11. Gets hit by a tree when no ones around .no heard her screaming and no one really cared
12. homicidal mime they sneak up on you and then...*mimicking stabbing motions* Boots wanted to write this one to so:
Headmistress Dolores Umbridge walked into the head master's office at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry at about midnight one evening. She had snuck out for a snack of a whole trecal tart, some pork rinds, and a glass of high end wine opening her door, the toad turned to put her wine away. Turning back to her desk, Umbridge saw a mime that had most defiantly not been there before sitting on her desk. Opening her mouth to scream, the fat one found that she couldn't make a sound, and that everything had become completely silent. The mime was now standing right next to her, pretending to be trapped in an invisible glass box. When Umbridge tried to move away, she felt the glass around her...FORMING A BOX SHE COULDN"T GET OUT OF! Becoming worried, Dolores banged on the box, but it wouldn't budge. The mime turned towards her, and its eyes had began to glow a eerie red. It mimed stabbing the fatty, and Dolores felt a sharp blade pierce her throat. As the body fell, the mime moved away and opened a window. Balancing on the sill, it smiled creepily at its latest pray. Then the homicidal mime jumped out the window and into the night
13. diet well, it has the word die in it!
14. Alucard ( Hellsing)He's a psychotic, murdering vampire that has an anger management problems! Of course he kills her!
15. Everyone in Hellsing ( it's the my favourite mangas!)They all have weapons and anger management issues...she didn't stand a chance.
16. Hit by the Night Bus I think we hit hit a toad, Ern!
17. Hypnotized by Naoi ( Angel Beats)
You are a...you know what, screw it. Go jump of that cliff!
18. Everyone in Afterlife Battlefront ( Angel Beats, read it! Mitten- Or watch it!)
Because they have guns...and because I really want them to.
19. Me.
Because she's evil and must be eliminated!
20. E- I mean Boots ( her codename on our joint profile TheObssesedMoronSociety)
She wanted to write this so:
Dolores Umbridge sat in the headmaster's office of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was late, about midnight. Suddenly she heard a knock on her door.
"Hello? Who's there?"
The door opened and a tall, slim blond girl walked in.
"my name is Lily Bleedingheart, I'm a muggle with a knife collection, and I m here to kill you."
Umbridge stared at the girl. How dare she threaten the senior undersecretary to the minister of magic. Insolent muggle, how did she even get past the wards? Umbridge drew her wand and pointed it at the girl. Opening her mouth to say a spell, the girl slashed it in half with a knife.
"A stick isn't the best way to defend yourself against a murderer, lady. I'm just here on orders from my commander. I d apologize, but from what I've heard, you re a real bitch. Sorry."
And with that the girl reached over and sliced the fat toad's throat. She then busted out a window and landed next to a tall, dark haired woman. "Let's go, Lex. I feel like this is one I won't regret killing"
And with that the two women walked off into the night.
21. Me+my friends...at night Because we hate her.
22. Gabe from Penny Arcade ( one of my favourite web comic)
Because he's incredibly violent and has a cardboard tube
23. Mutiny By the Slytherins. Who are finally doing the right thing!
24. Anarchy Because when the Ministry falls, she will fall with it!
25. Cult Because all cults need a human sacrifice. Support the cults!