Title: What Isn't Said Is Often Loudest
Author: PapayaK
Category: Romance – sort of
Spoilers / Season: anything after Pete shows up, Tiny ones for Singularity and Show and Tell
Warning: If you like Pete, don't read this. If you dislike original characters don't read this
Summary: An old friend of Jack's gives Sam something to think about.
oO0Oo
Major Carter sat down with her morning coffee. Lately she had gotten into the habit of stopping at the corner cafe on the way to work. It had a nice outdoor seating area she found refreshing. It also gave her time to think, to reflect.
Lately she had been reflecting quite a bit on a certain police officer. She smiled to herself. Their relationship was still in that new exciting stage. He had given her a new perspective on life. He was sweet and romantic. He was, as the Colonel said, hum worthy. She could actually envision a future with this man, a real future. And there were only the briefest of hitches in her happiness at the thought of the Colonel.
She shook it off. Now that she had been able to tell Pete about the SGC she had real hopes for their relationship. She sipped her coffee and began to indulge herself with memories of their latest date. But this morning would be a little different than she had expected. A woman she had never seen before approached her table.
"Major Carter?"
Carter looked up at the 40 something woman. She was pretty and plainly dressed, her black hair pulled back into braids.
"Yes?" Carter answered her.
"You don't know me, and I know that makes you uncomfortable, but I know of you, and I know Colonel O'Neill"
Carter frowned slightly, puzzled, and not a little suspicious.
The woman smiled reassuringly, "May I sit down?"
"Okay."
"Let me explain a little about who I am, so you'll understand. I am an old friend of Jack O'Neill's. I've known him since forever. I've even known him since before Sara."
Carter raised her eyebrows, and prepared to listen cautiously.
"I talk to him, maybe once a year. And, not surprisingly," she smiled, "he never calls me. Once upon a time we were tight. Now we're all grown up.
But I think about him now and again.
I finally get curious as to whether he's still alive, and I call him and we catch up."
Then she laughed, "Well, as you can imagine, he hears about what I've been doing. I don't hear much about what he's - what you've been up to."
Carter's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Oh don't get all huffy now, Major. I won't ask about your secrets. I've been not-hearing Jack O'Neill's secrets for twenty years give or take. It don't bother me.
See, I know Jack.
His secrets can be.
I trust him.
He knows me better than any other person on Earth and I know him. So if he needs to keep secrets, that's fine."
She took a sip of her coffee while Carter waited, and then continued, "I'll tell you what he does talk about when I ask him: people. I know about you. I know about Daniel and Teal'c; Janet and Cassie."
When Carter's surprise showed, she laughed, "I'm the one who ended up with that dog! He couldn't bear to take it back to the pound."
She smiled again, "I know George and his grandchildren. He told me about a girl named Merrin and another boy named Charlie. I don't know how he met them or what happened to them, but I know how he felt about them."
"He told you?" Carter's disbelief at the thought of the Colonel sharing his feelings made her doubt this woman's story all the more.
She just laughed, "Are you kidding? Have you ever heard him? No, I know how to listen between the lines. Like I said, I know him. With Jack you have to listen with different ears. Sara learned that, bless her. I remember when they met. Jack was so tied, but she never knew. He never told her. I could tell, but she couldn't. I don't know what made her figure it out finally, I had moved away by then, but when she did – well, they were great together. She gave him back something the Air Force had taken away from him." She smiled softly, remembering a different Jack she had known long ago.
Carter lowered her eyes out of respect and sadness for her friend's losses.
"So, you're wondering why I'm talking to you." She took a deep breath and plunged in, "I talked to him recently – finally got a hold of him after trying for a couple weeks… It was one of our shorter conversations. He told me very little this time, but there's one thing I know:" her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward, "You hurt him."
"What?" Carter asked suddenly angry, defensive and a bit confused. "What are you talking about?"
"There's no better man, no better person in this world than Jack O'Neill and he's had more than his share of hurt. You of all people should know that. He don't deserve this.
What you have with him… You really have no idea, do you?
You have what not even Sara could have:
You go with him.
Wherever it is he goes, and I know him well enough to know it's dangerous. You know how some people see danger and run away to save themselves? Well Jack runs towards it to save others, always has. He's always gone into danger so someone else can stay safe.
And you go with him. You share his life in a way no other woman ever has."
Carter shook her head. If she were honest with herself, it was in denial. She thought she had made peace with all this months ago. But now this woman was there, bringing it all back again.
"If I could find a man like Jack O'Neill, half the man Jack is. And if – against all odds - that man cared for me anything like Jack does you? I'd grab hold and never let go, not for anything."
"And you know all this from what he didn't say?" Carter challenged.
She just sat back and looked at Carter. They sat silent for a long time.
Carter finally responded, trying to downplay the situation, "It's not like that. We have a purely professional relationship."
The woman regarded Carter with something like disappointment. "You been lying to everybody else for so long you started to believe it. Maybe you're not as smart as Jack says."
Carter opened up to her just a bit, "It can't be… can't happen… It doesn't matter how either of us feels…"
"What can't be?" the woman seemed a bit puzzled, "What exactly do you need that you don't already have?" She paused, "Maybe you need to think about that. Or maybe you need to stop thinking about what you want and think about Jack. I get the impression there ain't nobody lookin' out for him. Man looks out for everybody else; they forget he has needs too. You need to think about that, 'Cause Lord knows he won't say a word."
They sat in silence again for some time.
The mysterious woman stood somewhat sadly and shook her head. "I talk too much. I'm flawed in that way." She laid a bill under her coffee cup and walked away. "Good bye, Major Carter."
The sun continued its path across the sky, but it seemed a bit dimmer, the clouds seemed a little darker,
And it was a very subdued Samantha Carter that walked into Cheyenne Mountain much later than she was expected.
End.