staring at the moon
disclaimer: ffx is not mine.
He wants to know how she does it.
Sit quietly with a smile on her face, expression serene and understanding. Stand in the middle of a crowd and act so peaceful. She stares at pyreflies, and smiles at his (silly) promises (that are never going to come true), laughs at his (silly) ideas (that no one tells him are a fool's dream) and tells him in midnight blue and black water that his words made her happy.
Part of her is broken. He knows this. (Her splinters are draped in blue hair and white feathers and forced kisses and a betrayal from more than just Seymour.)
She says—she says she was happy. With him being (naïve and impetuous and ignorant and new to the job) there.
He tries (to no avail) to give her hope, encouraging her to live a life of her own (forget Sin, forget Jecht, he's so stupid) and part of him is happy when she says she can't. (Part of him is crushed, because he doesn't know how to fix her pain if she continues to walk to her inevitable death.)
Yuna is a Summoner. It's in her blood. And she can give hope and be the moon and shine in the darkness because everyone puts her on that pedestal.
(Who shines for her?)
(He'll be her personal sun, if she only says the word.)
So he kisses her, because she's beautiful and she's Yuna and she's sad (and he doesn't want her to be like this; and he hates Seymour, and her wedding dress to him even more) and he doesn't know what else to do. Water surrounds them, seeps into their skin, (almost believes that he can't see her tears), her boots nudging against his legs.
(Maybe he has a fetish for her boots, the way that they shimmer through her purple dress. There's something about them.)
She kisses back and he can feel it, the heat of her blush against his cheeks (words that he doesn't know how to say) and also that shine of happiness that begins to bloom inside of her.
Almost like that time when he first saw her, perfect, delicate yet strong. Her inner strength, her resolve is something he's never seen before.
Now her resolve is gone, and she's lost (what are Guardians for, if not to aid their Summoner?) and he will comfort her until she decides.
(He doesn't want her to die.)
It bothers him how faraway she seems, (with his silly promises and his silly words) and how she pushes him away while pulling him closer. But maybe that doesn't matter, because sometimes—when she forgets herself – the role she plays to the outside world (quiet and demure, but lovely nonetheless) – she lights up and acts her age, just as impetuous and joyful and youthful—it makes it all worth it. (Will she ever dance for herself?)
Yuna leads and he follows.
(He wouldn't have it any other way.)
And then she looks at him—
Whatever thought that passes in his mind is gone with her upturned grin, and he will find a way to save her.
(One day it will come true.)