Author's note: Yeah, we really don't know either...
Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Panic Attacks, Drowning, Festivals, Crossdressing, Kissing, Snowball Fight, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Inspired by Roleplay/ Roleplay adaptation
Disclaimer: We do not own DGM or Saiyuki
Project Arc
Part 1
"Silence," Shěn Fu called to the class as she stalked in with the ringing of the bell. Kanda rolled his eyes as his classmates immediately shut up, finding their seats in a hurry. "Today, we are starting a group project, and before you start up a fuss, I've already chosen your groups for you."
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The bell rang while Gojyo was still in the hall but he was in no particular hurry to get to class. It was one of the ones he had to repeat so it wasn't like there was anything new. He slipped in the back of the room just as his classmates were all groaning about pre-picked partners or some shit.
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Kanda scoffed as his classmates groaned about not being able to pick their own partners. "Gojyo, how nice of you to join us," Shěn Fu crooned with a wicked smile and a sharp glint in her eyes. "Now, I'll assign all of you to your partners and then I will explain the project."
Kanda tuned her out as she listed off people. It was only when he heard his own name that he started paying attention, and he found himself paired with the aforementioned Gojyo. The guy who was always late, and technically a sophomore. Brilliant.
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Gojyo just rolled his eyes when the teacher called him out and slunk into a chair. He was put with the new kid, the creepy one with the sword. Fan-fucking-tastic.
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Grumbling to himself, Kanda listened as Shěn Fu went on and on about the project. They had to read some stupid book and do a report on it. But they had to make it interesting and insightful. Whatever the fuck that meant. So besides the extra work of them both individually having to write a paper on it, they had to make a presentation and a poster. What the actual fuck?
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They had to do a presentation and poster with a partner, shit. And had to write a paper, fuck that. However, it seemed they had a lot of class time in the next few weeks and the rest of the period to break off and meet with their partners. Gojyo would be damned if he was moving though.
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After rambling on about the project and handing out the books, Shěn Fu had them split off into their groups. Kanda glanced back towards his partner. The older teen didn't seem like he was going to move, and had in fact slouched lower in his seat.
Kanda grumbled and stood as the rest of the class reorganized, taking his bag and sword with him as he moved to sit in a desk beside the red haired boy. He said nothing, just flipping the book open and starting to read, difficult though he still found understanding the Kanji to be.
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"'Sup," Gojyo nodded in the kid's direction. The kid had already opened the book and started reading the damn thing. Maybe he got put with someone who would do most of the work. Things were looking up.
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"Shut up and read," Kanda snapped, shooting Gojyo a glare before turning back to his book. He'd be damned if he was going to be the one doing all the work, and he'd rather fail the damn project than pick up the redhead's slack. No way in fucking hell.
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"Damn, who spit in your cereal?" Not even a hello, but whatever. Gojyo shrugged and picked up the book and flipped through the first few pages. Then he started flipping through more nosily to see how many pages the book had. It wasn't that long, but it was still too long for him to give a fuck.
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Ten minutes later Gojyo was still flipping through the book in a manner that seemed to suggest counting out the pages in each chapter, and Kanda had only managed to get through four pages himself. That being said, it seemed as though Gojyo had no intention of reading, and Kanda was giving himself a headache trying to understand the words. This was why English was currently his best subject.
"No one spit in my fucking cereal," Kanda griped, well aware that the question had been asked ten minutes ago, and Gojyo had likely given up on getting an answer.
Gojyo actually managed to read a decent chunk of the book. It wasn't god awful actually. He slipped into class a just as the bell rang today because a teacher had chased him back inside when he was smoking behind the school between classes. He sat in his usual place in the back where he would draw the least attention to himself in class.
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Kanda grumbled when the bell rang, flipping his book shut and dropping it on his desk. He'd gotten through most of it in the past few days, but it had taken a lot more time and effort than he wanted to admit. It was getting easier though, thankfully.
Shěn Fu rambled on about how she expected them to at least get started on their projects today and then she dismissed them to break off into their pairs. As with the days prior, Gojyo made no move to get up and Kanda moved to sit beside him. "What chapter are you on?" he asked as he dropped into the chair.
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"Uh, seven or eight I think?" He pulled a worn copy out of his equally worn backpack. After flipping through a few pages he announced, "Seven. I'm half way through seven. You?"
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"Nine," Kanda said, picking up his copy and flipping through to where he'd left off at the start of class. "Just started it."
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"Ah. So I guess we should start thinking about what we wanna do for this project?"
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"Hn," Kanda said, flipping through the earlier chapters and squinting at the pages slightly. "Maybe character analyses would work."
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"Okay yeah." Honestly Gojyo didn't care what they did, he just needed to pass. "So what we talk about the characters and make a poster?"
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"Something like that," Kanda muttered, bringing the book closer to squint at a word he didn't remember reading. He was half convinced he wasn't reading it right at all, but the story made sense, so he couldn't have been that far off.
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"You okay there?" Gojyo asked slightly amused at what looked like Kanda trying to merge himself face first with the book.
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"Yes," Kanda said, dropping the book onto the desk with a huff. He leaned over to get a notebook from his bag grumbling about how it was so fucking hard to read kanji and why couldn't he have gone to school in England or something and not in this god forsaken country with too many memories of things he'd rather forget.
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"I mean, you looked like you were aquaintin' the book with your face," Gojyo continued, not one to let things lie.
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"Didn't remember reading something," Kanda muttered, flipping through his notebook that was largely taken over by randomly scrawled death threats, all of which were written in English, until he found a blank page to write on.
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"Uh-huh, right."
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"Shut the fuck up," Kanda snapped. "Who are we gonna look at first?" He picked up his book again and flipped through the first chapter. "What about this Conch character?"
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"You know that's a shell right? Like, it's not a person." Granted, Gojyo only knew this because he asked Jien but Kanda didn't need to know that.
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Kanda stared at Gojyo for a moment before swearing violently and dropping the book on the desk. It took him a moment to calm himself down enough not to throw the book across the room and just walk out the fucking door. "The pig kid then," he growled some minutes later when he could speak without swearing.
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It wasn't funny but it kinda was. However, Gojyo managed to stay completely straight-faced through Kanda's mini hissy fit. This is why he had a great poker face. "Okay, what about him? I mean, the kid's kinda a loser."
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"The hell if I know," Kanda grumbled. "None of the book makes any sense anymore. I'll have to read it again."
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Gojyo chewed his lip for a moment. "I could tell you what I've read that way you don't have to go back?" Gojyo looked down at his desk. "Or not whatever," he added, mumbling a little self-consciously.
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Kanda glanced at his project partner in surprise. "Could you?" he asked. "This fucking Kanji is so fucking hard to read."
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"Yeah, sure," he shrugged, genuine smile creeping onto his face. He spent the next several minutes explain what he read and what Jien had told him from when he had to read it. "And that's as far as I got."
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"Thanks," Kanda muttered as he finished scratching down notes on what Gojyo had told him. Despite his best efforts, they were almost entirely in English, a couple characters of Kanji thrown in with explanations beside them. "So Piggy. The loser kid with the glasses."
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"Yeah. I remember Jien said he was important because he was supposed to be knowledge or some shit but honestly I think he's just whiney. I'll have to ask again though."
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"Glasses character," Kanda muttered. "Of course." He rolled his eyes and jotted down a few more notes, making an effort to write them in kanji even though it made his handwriting nine times worse.
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"Dude, what language is that?" Gojyo asked, pointing at Kanda's notes.
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"English, mostly," Kanda said. "The rest is Chinese."
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"Ah, well if you can read that…" He sounded unconvinced.
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"The English I can read," Kanda grumbled. "The Chinese not so much."
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"Oh right, you're new here."
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"In town, yes," Kanda agreed.
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"Where you from?"
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"Most recently, or originally?" Kanda asked absently, erasing some of the Kanji and writing it in English again.
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"Move around a lot, I take it?"
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"We did," Kanda said, nodding. "Had to in the beginning, and it was habit by the end. Tiedoll says we'll stay here 'til I finish high school though."
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Gojyo nodded. "I've been stuck in this shitty town my whole life."
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"That sounds nice actually," Kanda muttered, picking up his book again and flipping through, squinting at the kanji as if that would make the meaning more clear.
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Gojyo gave a small humorless laugh. "I would give anything. Anything, to get out of here."
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"Hn," Kanda scoffed. "Being forced out by the yakuza isn't exactly something to wish for."
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Better than having a reputation for something that wasn't even your fault. But, "That sounds rough," was all he said.
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"Hn," was all Kanda said in response. A minute or so later. "Who the fuck is this Ralph kid?"
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"He's the little shit who keeps fuckin' up things on the island for Jack."
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"There's a Jack?" Kanda asked, flipping through the book. "Son of a bitch..."
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"Yeah, he's the one who kept using the conch to speak and run the meetings. He stayed on the beach."
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"I fucking quit," Kanda groaned, dropping his head onto the desk with a solid thunk.
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"It's okay, we still have a few weeks before we're really screwed." He punched Kanda lightly in the shoulder.
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Kanda jerked back in his chair and shot a glare at Gojyo. "Don't touch me," he snapped, hands fisting against his desk. He forced himself to breathe evenly even though it made him feel like he was going to pass out, his heart pounding a frightened tattoo against his ribs.
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"Whoa dude!" Gojyo leaned back in his chair. He didn't mean to startle the poor kid. "Sorry, man," he said more quietly. "You okay?" Gojyo tried to make eye contact. Shit, he really didn't mean to freak him out.
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"I'm fine," Kanda snarled, forcing back the fear and unclenching his fists. He took up his pen again and bowed over his notebook, writing down ideas, and murder plots on the rest of the page. He'd add an extra hour in the dojo for the rest of the week. Maybe that would help.
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"Okay. I'm really sorry, dude." Gojyo felt terrible. He meant it as a friendly gesture but managed to fuck this up too. Perfect.
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"It's fine," Kanda muttered. "Not your fault."
With Tiedoll's help, Kanda had long finished his essay. The same could not be said for the project. They had maybe three days left to work and they were nowhere near done. Kanda wanted to blame Gojyo, but in reality, it was his own fault. It was hard to analyze a character when you couldn't read what they were doing properly. "Fucking hell, I was hoping this wouldn't have to go on outside of school too," Kanda grumbled.
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"That makes two of us," Gojyo frowned briefly. Gojyo on the other hand had done little to nothing on his essay. Things had be a little rough lately and so he was a little preoccupied.
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"You busy this afternoon?" Kanda asked.
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"Not really."
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"I am abducting you."
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"For the project? Okay."
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"No, I need some extra muscle for a drug run," Kanda deadpanned before pulling a face. "Of course for the project."
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"I mean I could do that too. I just figured with the project due next week we should probably do that first."
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"You are insane," Kanda snorted. "Your house or mine?"
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"Not mine," he snapped out, cutting off Kanda's last syllable. He didn't mean to say it so forcefully. "Uh, yours would pro'ly be better," he tried to cover, not quite succeeding.
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"Whatever," Kanda muttered. "Just ignore Tiedoll. He's fucking insane." He was a bit surprised by Gojyo's vehemence on the matter, but he didn't really care. He'd be more comfortable in his own home anyway.
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"Who's Tiedoll and how insane are we talking?" he asked, glad Kanda changed the subject.
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"My foster father, and not exactly insane so much as overbearing and art-happy," Kanda said. "He'll probably call you pretty and try to paint a portrait or something."
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Gojyo just snorted. "I know the ladies dig me, but I'm not exactly a looker," he said vaguely gesturing to his scars.
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"He'll say they give you character," Kanda scoffed. "Like I said, ignore him."
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"So should I meet you out front at the last bell?"
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"Yeah, whatever," Kanda said, shrugging.
Gojyo's last class let out early. Not that he would know as he 'went to the bathroom' and cut the last ten minutes or so. He sat on one of the tables out in the front, smoking. He had been dying of heat in his threadbare hoodie earlier but with the cool October wind he was glad he had it on. He readjusted his messy ponytail.
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Kanda was not so lucky. His last couple classes were boring as hell and seemed to drag on for twice as long as they really took. When the last bell finally rang, Kanda jumped out of his seat and slung his bag onto his shoulder, grabbing Mugen and booking it out of the room before the teacher could keep him there any longer. He swore if he spent one more second in that classroom he was going to kill someone.
Once he got outside, he looked around for Gojyo. He found the older boy sitting on a table smoking and made a face, heading over. "Come on."
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Gojyo hopped off the table and crushed his finished cigarette under his foot. He was already digging in his pockets for another one as he walked over to Kanda.
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When Gojyo had joined him, Kanda left school grounds and headed for home. For once, he took the shortest path, heading straight for the middle of town and the tea shop that he lived above. Why Tiedoll couldn't have found someplace normal to live, Kanda would never know.
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It wasn't often Gojyo walked through the nice part of town. Usually he just took the longest possible road to home but this was the opposite side of town. He was little confused when they approached the teashop but then he realized they were going to an apartment.
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"We have company," Kanda called as he opened the door to the apartment. He toed out of his shoes before stepping inside. Tiedoll poked his head out of the kitchen, beaming.
"Welcome home, Yuu-kun," he said. "Did you say you brought a friend?"
"A classmate," Kanda said. "For a project."
Tiedoll walked out, wiping charcoal smudged hands on an already grey rag. "I'm Froi Tiedoll; it's a pleasure to meet one of Yuu-kun's friends."
"Would you stop fucking calling me that, old man?" Kanda snapped.
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To be honest, Gojyo didn't know what to make of the whole scene in front of him. But he was nothing if but adaptable. He took off his boots and put them in a mostly neat pile next to Kanda's shoes. "Gojyo," he waved as he entered.
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"Now, now, Yuu-kun; you shouldn't swear so much," Tiedoll said. Kanda hissed angrily, turning his back.
"I'm going to make tea and we're commandeering the living room," he snapped. "Go back to your art project you no doubt left all over the kitchen."
"So rude," Tiedoll said with a smile before disappearing back into the kitchen. Kanda sighed and turned back to Gojyo.
"Want something to drink besides tea?" he asked. "We might have some sort of fruit drink or something, or there's always water."
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"Oh, water's fine." Yeah, this was very different. He followed Kanda, really not sure what to do. He felt kinda out of place.
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Kanda hummed an acknowledgement as he made his way into the kitchen. He set the kettle to boil before fetching a glass and filling it with tap water. He handed the glass over to Gojyo as he walked back through to the living room, steadfastly ignoring the mess of paints, brushes, and paper that littered the kitchen table.
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"So what do you want to work on first?" Kanda asked, clearing the coffee table and dropping his bag on it.
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Gojyo thanked Kanda and took a sip. "We should probably think about what to say then the poster?"
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"Sure," Kanda muttered, pulling out his notebook that was filling with more and more Chinese as the days passed. It was still jarring to read his notes though, since they were half and half, and it sometimes gave him a headache. "So what do you think? Split the characters, three each?"
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"Yeah that works. Should we include the conch too?" Gojyo teased, but not meanly.
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"Shut up," Kanda said, rolling his eyes. "We'll have to mention the conch anyway. Isn't it sort of integral to Ralph and Jack's characters?"
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"So who do you want to take for characters?"
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"Hmm… Ralph, Simon, and Roger," Kanda said. "Or whoever. Doesn't really matter."
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"So I get Piggy, Jack, and who?"
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"Sam," Kanda suggested, shrugging.
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"Oh right, SamnEric. I forgot about them."
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"If you want," Kanda said. The kettle started whistling then. "Excuse me a sec."
Kanda got up from the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, pulling the kettle off the burner and turning it off. He grabbed his favorite mug and the small tea pot with the built in tea steeper. Placing loose tea leaves in the steeper, Kanda poured the recently boiling water over them into the small pot, filling it with water before placing the lid on. He grabbed and extra mug just in case Gojyo changed his mind and carried the mugs and tea pot back out to the living room, setting them down across from their notes.
"Sorry about that," he said.
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"Nah, it's fine." It was warm in the apartment and Gojyo was dying in the thin hoodie. "Is it okay if I take this off?"
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"Knock yourself out," Kanda said, shrugging. He flicked through his notes while he waited for the tea to have steeped enough to serve.
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"Awesome." He unzipped and shrugged off the hoodie. His upper arms had a few ugly bruises in various states of healing. Gojyo pulled out his own notebook and opened up to his own shoddy notes to compare. "So what should we say?"
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"The hell if I know," Kanda mumbled, pouring himself some tea. He sipped it to buy himself some time. "I suppose, something along the lines of introducing each character and explaining their relevance to the story or something." Kanda made a face, setting down his tea to squint at a half kanji, half English sentence. "It always makes sense when I'm writing it," he muttered under his breath.
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After a few hours of working nonstop on what they would say and how to go about presenting, they were a good quarter, maybe a third of way done. Of course that also meant it had been several hours without a cigarette and Gojyo was getting a little antsy. "Hey, do'ya think we could take a break?"
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"Sure," Kanda said, stretching his arms over his head to work the kinks out of his back from sitting on the floor hunched over the coffee table for so long. He got to his feet, knees cracking, and gathered the teapot and mugs.
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"I need to step out for sec, be right back?" he said as he slipped on his hoodie and held up his pack as an explanation.
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Kanda just nodded, heading for the kitchen. When he stepped through, he found Tiedoll had cleaned up his art project and was perusing the fridge for ingredients. Kanda rolled his eyes and moved to the sink, throwing out the used tea leaves and washing out the pot and mugs even though only one had been used. He set them to dry in the drying rack.
"Yuu-kun, do you think your friend will be staying for dinner?" Tiedoll asked, his head still inside the fridge as he dug around.
"The hell if I know," Kanda said. "And stop calling me that."
"Why don't you invite him to stay?" Tiedoll asked.
"Tch, whatever," Kanda said. He headed back for the living room, stretching again and making his back crack soundly. He let out a sort of choked half groan and flopped onto the couch, stars dancing before his eyes at the head-rush produced by that last stretch. He slouched as he waited for Gojyo to return from his smoking break.
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It was starting to get a little late, but Jien wouldn't be home for another few hours a Gojyo didn't really feel like pretending he didn't exist. He finished and crushed what was basically just the filter under his shoe. Less antsy now, he was ready to take on another chunk of the project and headed back in. He found Kanda back in the living room.
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"Tiedoll wants you to stay for dinner," Kanda said when he heard Gojyo walk back in, not bothering to look at the redhead. "You don't have to, but you're invited."
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"You sure?" he asked, uncertainty laced his voice.
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"About you being invited or you not having to say yes?" Kanda asked, finally lifting his head to look at Gojyo.
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"Stayin' for dinner."
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"Yeah, I'm sure," Kanda said. "You're here anyway."
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"Okay." He still sounded a little uncertain. Not that he didn't want to stay he was just surprised he was asked to. He sat down next to Kanda on the floor, leaning back on the bottom part of the couch.
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"You don't have to stay if you don't want to, you know," Kanda said, sliding onto the floor next to Gojyo and raising an eyebrow at him.
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"No, I totally want to stay. I'm not passing up free food," he joked. He looked down at his hands and mumbled, "I'm just not used to getting asked to stay."
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"Better get used to it," Kanda grumbled. "Now that Tiedoll has it in his head that we're best friends, he's going to be asking you over for dinner as often as he thinks he can."
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Gojyo just looked at Kanda and raised his eyebrows. He cracked a big smile and trough an arm over Kanda's shoulder, "I'm game!"
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"Of course you are," Kanda grumbled, elbowing Gojyo in the ribs in something that might resemble lightly, slouching down further so his shins were pressed into the coffee table, balancing on his tailbone.
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Gojyo still winced at the elbow to the ribs and withdrew his arm. "I mean, if you don't want me to, I won't," he said seriously.
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"Do what you will," Kanda scoffed. "Besides, if there's someone else here, I won't have to answer a million inane questions."
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"He seems pretty cool though."
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Kanda blinked at Gojyo before falling over on the floor, choking on half smothered, silent laughter.
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"What? I'm just saying he's pretty chill."
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"What is in those cigarettes?" Kanda asked once he could breathe again, pushing himself back up to sitting.
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"Nothing?" Gojyo was actually confused.
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"Uh-huh," Kanda scoffed, shaking his head. "Pretty chill my ass. High on paint fumes more like."
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"Okay, but at least you get along." It would be a lie to say Gojyo wasn't the least bit jealous.
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Kanda started choking on air at that comment, gaping at Gojyo even as he tried to get a full breath into his lungs. "G-get along?!" he squawked incredulously.
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"What? Am I missin' somethin' here?" Gojyo asked, starting to get a little annoyed at Kanda's attitude.
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"Get along my ass," Kanda grumbled once he'd stopped choking, shooting a glare in Gojyo's direction. "That old man is an overbearing ass hat who is more concerned with hiding me from the yakuza that killed my family than anything else."
Kanda froze a second later when he realized what he'd just said, eyes going wide in that horrified panic of one who'd spoken a secret they meant to keep. He looked away from Gojyo, shoulders going tense and drawing up as he tried to decide whether it was a good idea to run out of the apartment or not.
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Gojyo's eyebrows crept up into his hairline. He honestly didn't know what to say and the moment got exceedingly awkward. Finally, he needed to break the moment. "How mad do you think our teacher would be if no one showed up to present?"
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Kanda was thrown for a loop by the sudden change in topic, but him mind grabbed onto it like a buoy in a storm. "You mean us or the whole class?" Kanda asked with a snort, forcing his shoulders to relax. "Either way, she'll probably be pissed. Though she'd be more pissed if everyone didn't show."
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"I meant the class, like everyone decided to take a sick day or somethin'." Now that the moment had passed a smirk fell into place.
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"She would be livid," Kanda scoffed, a smirk of his own settling on his face easily. "It would be fantastic."
"Now what's this I hear about torturing your teachers?" Tiedoll said from the doorway, making Kanda flinch slightly. "That's not very nice Yuu-kun. No son of mine should be so rude."
"I'm not your son," Kanda grumbled. "And stop fucking calling me that."
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"Nah, this lady is straight up crazy."
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"Agreed," Kanda said, scoffing slightly and looking away from Tiedoll and Gojyo. "Her brain is a bag full of cats."
"Well felines aside, dinner is ready," Tiedoll said, smiling slightly. Kanda huffed and sat up, using the table to push himself up completely and uttering an aborted grunt as an ache settled in his shins.
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Gojyo got up and followed Kanda to the kitchen.
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"Dig in," Tiedoll said, taking a seat in the corner. Kanda rolled his eyes and dropped down in a seat, uttering a quick prayer and digging into the fish and rice they were having.
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Gojyo sat down and did just that. It was the best meal he had… in probably forever, which is what he told Tiedoll when he took his first opportunity to breathe.
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"I'm glad you like it," Tiedoll said sincerely, smiling at Gojyo. "Yuu-kun never compliments my cooking, but I suppose that has something to do with him only really liking soba."
"Stop fucking calling me that," Kanda snapped, continuing to eat.
"Yes, yes, of course," Tiedoll said, amused. He shook his head fondly before turning to Gojyo. "So Yuu-kun-" "Don't call me that." "-tells me that you're actually a sophomore. Were you held back because of troubles at home?"
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Gojyo blanched but quickly recovered. "Uh…" he said scratching the back of his head, "I just suck at Chinese."
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While Gojyo answered Tiedoll's question without answering the question, Kanda promptly started choking on his fish. "You don't just ask that!" he exclaimed.
"Oh my, I'm sorry," Tiedoll said. "I should have realized that you wouldn't want to talk about it. You teenage boys and your touchy subjects."
"Just stop talking," Kanda snapped.
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"Uh… nah, it's fine." Gojyo inwardly grimaced.
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Tiedoll regarded him for a moment before jumping on a different line of interrogation. "You smell like cigarettes. You're not going to be a bad influence on my boy, are you?"
"I'm not your boy," Kanda snapped, glaring, his chopsticks creaking as he clenched them in his fist.
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"This is the first time I've hung out with Kanda outside of class, so I don't think I've known him long enough to be a bad influence." He meant it as a joke, whether or not they took it as one remained to be seen.
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"Oh?" Tiedoll said. "I didn't know that. From the way Yuu-kun talks about you, I thought you were the best of friends."
"Yes, let's just bring that up," Kanda snapped, glaring. "And stop calling me that."
"Well, it was more complaining than anything," Tiedoll admitted, "but you haven't talked about anyone that much since Alma."
"Shut the fuck up," Kanda snarled, standing up abruptly. His chair screeched as it slid back, and Kanda slammed his chopsticks on the table.
"Yuu-kun!" Tiedoll exclaimed, affronted. "You should know better than to swear at your father."
"You're not my father!" Kanda roared. "Just because you took me in doesn't mean you get to replace my dad!"
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Damn. Damn, this was awkward. Gojyo suddenly found the table really interesting. He wondered what kind of wood it was.
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"Yuu-kun," Tiedoll said, giving Kanda a sympathetic look.
"Stop fucking calling me that," Kanda snarled, throwing his chopsticks at Tiedoll before bolting from the room. He ran out the front door and slammed it closed, but he never went any further.
Kanda slumped against the wall at the top of the stairs beside the door, drawing his knees up to his chest and folding his arms on top so he could bury his head in them. He felt guilt writhing in the back of his head, and he knew he shouldn't have gone off on Tiedoll like that. He just kept on slipping and Tiedoll bringing up Alma hadn't helped.
Kanda didn't even realize he was shaking until he tried to sit up, his muscles locked in terrified convulsions as he reminded himself that Tiedoll was the only reason, the only reason, he was still alive, and if Tiedoll decided to dump him, he'd be dead in a week. Fuck, he couldn't breathe.
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Gojyo shut his mouth when he realized he was sitting there stupidly with it open. He honestly didn't know what to say. That would never have flown in his house, (well, chopsticks might have but they would have been aimed at him) but this was also over something different. Should he go? Sit here? He opted for sitting here until he was told to leave.
.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," Tiedoll said, sighing slightly. "It's been a while since he lashed out like that. I guess I thought he was getting better." Tiedoll leaned over and collected Kanda's chopsticks off the floor, placing them in the middle of the table. "Yuu-kun is a good kid, but he had a rough couple years. I suppose it is too much to expect him to have moved past them already." Tiedoll shot Gojyo a tired smile. "I'm sure you'll be a good friend for him."
.
"Yeah…" he said for lack of anything to say. "You want me to go check on him or something?"
.
"I think that would be for the best," Tiedoll said with a smile. "I fear if I went, he'd just run away."
.
Gojyo got up and walked to the door. He opened it and looked around, then looked down and saw Kanda by the door. Closing the door, he slid down next to Kanda. "Hey."
.
Kanda heard footsteps approaching the door, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He was rooted to the spot with fear that it was Tiedoll come to tell him he was finally done with Kanda's shit and he should get out.
When Gojyo settled on the floor beside him, Kanda let out a shaky breath, relief and panic washing over him in equal parts. Relief that it wasn't Tiedoll throwing him out, and panic that that would come later after Gojyo had gone home. It was all too much. There were too many memories that had been dragged to the surface.
He missed his parents and he just wanted to be able to go home to them and throw his arms around his mother and hide his face in her shoulder like he'd done as a child. He wanted to run up to his father and tell him all about how much fun he was having learning how to use his katana. He wanted to meet Alma on the front steps and go on ridiculous adventures through town while Alma rambled on and on about whatever he'd learned since they'd seen each other last. He wanted to come home to find his little sister had pulled all his clothes out again and was running around in one of his shirts because she wanted to be just like her big brother.
But here he was, curled up as small as he could manage on the small landing in front of the apartment he lived in with Tiedoll, praying to whatever gods would listen that he wasn't about to be left alone again. He dragged in a ragged breath, only then realizing that he'd started crying at some point, and now he couldn't stop. He shifted slightly, biting his own wrist to muffle the sobs that welled in his throat, fighting to come spilling from his lips.
.
"Hey, don't cry," he said softly. That's what Jien always said to him. He wrapped an arm around Kanda pulling him into a sort of sideways hug.
.
Kanda hated to admit that he leaned into the older boy when he was pulled into that awkward hug, trying desperately to stop crying because, gods, he was supposed to be stronger than that. He couldn't stop entirely, though he did manage to start breathing properly again, ragged though each breath was.
"I'm sorry," he managed to whisper. "I'm sorry."
.
"It's okay, pal. Take your time." Gojyo was all too familiar with being this low. So he would just sit there until Kanda cried himself out.
.
It took far longer than Kanda would have liked to return to some semblance of calm, but he pulled away from Gojyo's side as soon as he had reached it, uncurling slightly and grabbing the collar of his shirt, using the material to wipe his face.
"This didn't happen," Kanda said.
.
"What happened? I didn't see anything happenin'. Nothing happenin' out here."
.
Kanda huffed out a shaky laugh, smirking softly. "Thank you."
.
"No problem. So now what? Do you want to sit here? Because I don't know about you, but I'm still hungry." His tone was light and he was still hungry, but he didn't want to push the kid back in there if he didn't want to.
.
"Go eat," Kanda scoffed, shaking his head. "I'll come in in a minute."
.
"Aiight, if you're sure," he said standing.
.
"I'm sure," Kanda said, nodding slightly to himself.
.
"'Kay," and he headed back in. "He'll be in in a minute," he said as he sat back down.
.
"Ah, that's good," Tiedoll said. "I suppose I should get him some clean chopsticks then." The artist stood, moving to the cabinet over the stove and retrieving a clean pair of chopsticks. He placed them at Kanda's seat before sitting back down.
Kanda sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, just breathing for a moment. Now that he was alone, he knew he should have gone back inside immediately. He could feel those overwhelming feelings creeping back up on him, making the back of his throat burn.
Sighing again, Kanda wiped his face one last time to make sure it was completely dry before he stood. He would have to apologize to Tiedoll later. A niggle of guilty fear still told him he was going to get kicked out, but he pushed it aside, returning to the table and sitting at his abandoned seat. He picked up the fresh set of chopsticks that had been laid out for him and mumbled a quick thanks before digging in.
.
The kitchen was warm from cooking still so Gojyo slipped off his hoodie from when he had put it on outside and resumed eating.
.
"Do you fight often?" Tiedoll asked.
.
"What?" Gojyo asked looking up a Tiedoll. "Not really. Well, at least not since middle school." No, kids stopped trying to beat him up behind the school when he started winning.
.
"Oh, it's just that you have bruises like Kanda gets all the time," Tiedoll said. Kanda winced, shrinking in his seat. "Did you get those scars in one of your fights in middle school? Your mother must have been so worried."
.
What the hell? Gojyo looked down and realized his arms were still all bruised and quickly threw his hoodie back on, his face and ears turning as red as his hair in embarrassment and shame. Shit. What should he say? Was she worried, fuck no. But he couldn't say that. "Something like that," was all he could muster for an answer.
.
"Tiedoll," Kanda snapped, pushing aside his worry for his own situation in favor of slapping some sense into his guardian. "For the love of god, stop talking."
"Ah, I'm sorry," Tiedoll said, having the decency to at least look guilty.
.
"It's fine," he mumbled. After a few more awkward minutes he looked up at the clock. "Shit, I gotta head out. My brother will be home soon. Thanks for dinner," he said standing.
.
"Don't forget your notebook," Kanda said. "It's under mine still."
.
"Right, thanks!" He grabbed his notebook and backpack, threw on his shoes and headed out. "See you tomorrow in class, yeah?"
.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," Kanda said, trailing Gojyo to the door and closing it after the older boy had vanished down the stairs.
Annnnnd, that was the bell as Gojyo was once again just entering the building from the back. He managed to get down the halls without getting caught and tried to slip into class as quietly as possible.
.
Kanda grumbled to himself as the teacher rambled on about how they only had today and tomorrow to work in class before they were dismissed to work in their groups. He looked around lazily until he spotted Gojyo, blinking. The redhead hadn't been there a few minutes ago.
Shrugging to himself, Kanda gathered his bag and sword and moved back to the seat beside Gojyo. "Didn't worry your brother too much I hope," he said, sitting down.
.
"Nope, made it back before him and didn't get caught by Mom. It was a pretty good night considering. Even started the essay." He gave a lopsided grin.
.
"What do you mean started the essay?" Kanda asked, smacking Gojyo's arm. "What'd you put it off for? You're gonna be banging your head against the wall come Friday."
.
"Hey, I had stuff!" He nudged back.
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"Uh-huh," Kanda scoffed. "And do you have stuff today?"
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"God, I hope not," he said, making a face.
.
"Good," Kanda said. "We should work on the poster then."
.
"Yeah… But we got a good chunk yesterday."
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"And there are two days until it's all due," Kanda said.
.
"We got this," he grinned again.
.
"Do not make me hunt your ass down," Kanda warned.
.
"If you wanted my ass you could have just said so," he teased.
.
"What would I want your ass for?" Kanda asked, confused.
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"Wait seriously?" The confused look on Kanda's face spoke volumes. "Don't worry about it."
.
"Then why bother bringing it up?" Kanda grumbled, pulling out his notebook and flipping it open.
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Gojyo just laughed and shook his head. "Anyway, let's get to work."
.
"Indeed," Kanda muttered.
.
After a few minutes or so Gojyo asked, "Hey, are we working on the poster again after school, right?"
.
"Didn't I say that?" Kanda asked, flicking through his notes again.
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"Meh, just checking. I told Jien I had a project so I might be late getting home."
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"Your brother?" Kanda guessed. "I suppose that means you won't go running off straight after dinner."
.
"Yeah, and yeah, if that's okay. Though if we can skip the interrogation this time, that would be great."
.
"He'll play nice," Kanda said. "Marie is visiting from Italy. He arrived this morning."
.
"Ah, I mean I'd hate to get in the way."
.
"You know he's not going to let you leave, don't you?"
.
"Shit, really?"
.
"We went over this yesterday," Kanda sweatdropped.
.
"I thought you were kidding."
.
"I wish I had been," Kanda muttered.
.
"I'm not so bad as a dinner guest, am I?"
.
"It's not you that bugs me," Kanda said. "It's Tiedoll being an overbearing fuck nut that drives me up the wall. That man is addled in the head from too long with his nose pressed to a canvas or something."
.
Gojyo wasn't going to touch that one with a ten-mile pole. "Yeah well, at least you don't have to lock up the sharp things." Gojyo tried to joke, but there was just too much truth for it to actually work.
.
"Fair enough," Kanda said. "So the presentation…"
.
"Yup," Gojyo said turning back to his notebook.
.
"What order should we go in?" Kanda asked. "You first? Me first? Switching back and forth?"
.
"Either way works," Gojyo shrugged. That part didn't really matter to him.
.
"Hn," Kanda said, shooting Gojyo a half-hearted glare. "Fine, let's just work on what we'll actually say."
.
"Okay." They spent the rest of the class and managed to actually get what they would say done.
Unlike the day prior, classes actually seemed to move quickly for Kanda and he sighed in relief as he walked out the doors of the school. Once he was outside he glanced around for Gojyo, absently heading towards the table he'd found the elder boy seated on the day prior when he couldn't spot the redhead.
.
As soon as Gojyo was out the door he was already lighting a cigarette. He saw Kanda where he sat the day before. "Hey man, ready?"
.
"I should be asking you that," Kanda snorted, hopping off the table. "You're the one in for an interrogation."
.
"I mean, he got the awkward questions out of the way… I hope."
.
"You and I both," Kanda muttered. "He's such a pain in the ass… Anything asked today should just be general shit."
.
"Ah, well that's not too bad then." He took a drag and made sure to exhale away from Kanda.
.
"Hopefully," Kanda muttered, picking up his pace slightly. He wanted to get home and get started on the stupid poster.
.
It wasn't too long before they were back at Kanda's apartment. "So who's this Marie guy?"
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"Foster brother," Kanda said. "Tiedoll has a thing for charity cases."
.
Gojyo just nodded not wanting to start something. "So how much do you think we have left on this project?"
.
"We should probably fine tune what we're going to say, but we can do that in class tomorrow," Kanda said, toeing out of his shoes and tossing his bag onto the couch. He could hear Marie and Tiedoll chatting in the kitchen and grumbled to himself. "You want water or tea?"
.
"Water's fine," he said, slipping off his boots. He started to take off his hoodie, but stopped remembering the line of questions Tiedoll asked yesterday. He settled for leaving it unzipped and followed Kanda.
.
"Hn, Kanda said, heading into the kitchen. He fetched the glass of water first, handing it over before setting the kettle to boil.
"Ah, Yuu-kun, welcome home," Tiedoll said. When he spotted Gojyo he smiled. "And Gojyo-kun. Welcome back."
"Don't fucking call me that," Kanda grumbled.
.
"Ah, Hi. And Gojyo's just fine."
.
"So what's this I hear about Kanda making a friend?" Marie asked. Kanda rolled his eyes.
"Marie, this is Gojyo, my classmate. Gojyo, this is Marie, my foster brother," Kanda introduced with all the appropriate hand gestures.
"It's nice to meet you Gojyo," Marie said, turning in his chair to offer Gojyo a hand.
.
Gojyo took it, "Nice to meet ya' too. We got a project," he explained.
.
"So I've been told," Marie said with a gentle smile.
Kanda scoffed at the lot of them and turned to take the kettle off when it began whistling. As with yesterday, he set the hot water to steep in the small teapot and carried it out to the living room with his favorite mug.
.
The silence grew a bit awkward and Gojyo followed Kanda when he left. "So… time to get artsy I guess?"
.
"No," Kanda said, settling on the floor by the coffee table as he had the day before. "You can work on your essay while I draw portraits of the characters. You can be in charge of writing things on the poster later since you can actually write in kanji."
.
From Kanda's no nonsense tone Gojyo figured arguing wasn't going to do much. "I guess I could work on it." He pulled his notebook out and opened to the couple of paragraphs he had started writing before.
.
Kanda nodded and grabbed the paper he'd set on the table beside the couch that morning, flipping open his notes and his book in an effort to figure out what the boys they had read about looked like, more or less.
.
After working for a few hours, like yesterday Gojyo need a break. "Hey, how's it going?" he asked setting down his pen.
.
"Well enough," Kanda said. "Four down, two to go." He shuffled around the papers in front of him, the names of each character writing in tiny letters on the corners of the pages. "It's easier than reading, or writing anyway."
.
"Wanna take a break?"
.
"Yeah, whatever," Kanda said. Despite that, he dropped his pencil, cracking his knuckles and stretching his fingers.
.
"Great, be right back," Gojyo said as he stood and started digging in his pockets for his lighter.
.
"Hn," Kanda said. He stood and stretched once Gojyo had exited the apartment, his back cracking loudly. Grumbling, Kanda brought the teapot to the kitchen and cleaned it, setting it to dry.
"How are you boys doing?" Tiedoll asked.
"Fine," Kanda grumbled.
"We're doing dinner in half an hour, so let Gojyo know he's invited," Tiedoll said.
"Hn," Kanda said, heading back for the living room. He dropped into his seat again, cracking his wrists before he picked up his pencil and started on sketch number five. Well, he said number five, but it was closer to around twenty because he had scrapped a lot of the drafts of the first four.
.
Gojyo came back a few minutes later and sat down next to Kanda. "Who you working on now?"
.
"Simon," Kanda muttered, dropping his pencil in favor of picking up his book, flipping through. By now, the thin book was highly annotated, but Kanda didn't care if he got in trouble for it. It was mostly in English anyway, so it wasn't like most of the students who would get it in the future would understand what he'd written.
.
"These are pretty good," he said, picking up the others. "Turned out great!"
.
"Hn," Kanda said, placing his book down. "How's your essay coming?"
.
"Eh, I suck at writing but I'm getting there."
.
"You're better than me," Kanda said, shrugging and going back to his sketch. "Oh, and you're invited for dinner again."
.
"Thanks, man. You sure I'm not like in the way or something?" Not that he would ever turn down a good meal.
.
Kanda glanced over at Gojyo with a raised eyebrow before turning back to his drawing. "You're not in the way," he said.
.
"Alright. Hey, I know your kanji sucks, but do you think you could read over this?" he said, holding out the paragraph or two he wrote.
.
"Um… sure," Kanda said, setting down his pencil to take the offered paper. "Are you sure you want me to look at this? Tiedoll would be a lot more helpful."
.
"If you don't want I can see if maybe Jien will later, but you're here now and you've read the book more recently."
.
"I never said I wouldn't," Kanda grumbled. He squinted at the kanji on the page for a moment, turning it sideways for a moment before turning it back, he placed it flat on the table and shifted up onto his knees, bowing over it. A moment later he sat back and rubbed at his eyes. "I can't read it," he admitted.
.
"Yeah, my handwriting sucks. I'll try to get Jien to read it," he said taking the notebook back.
.
"Your handwriting is fine… probably," Kanda said. "It's just all blurry…"
.
"But seriously, sometimes I'll go back and read my notes, if I even took notes, and I'll be like 'what the fuck did I even write here?'"
.
"If you say so," Kanda said. He rubbed at his eyes and looked back down at his sketch. He could see it well enough, but it was beginning to make him want to bang his head against the table. He settled for closing his eyes and resting his head on the table instead. "This project is such a pain in the ass…"
.
"Tell me about it. But it would be so much worse if we had to do it alone."
.
"It wouldn't get done if we had to do it alone," Kanda retorted.
.
"You bet!" Gojyo laughed.
.
Kanda sat up, about to take a stab at drawing again when Tiedoll poked his head out of the kitchen. "Dinner's ready."
.
"Good," Kanda grumbled, gratefully dropping his pencil. He pushed his way to his feet, patting down his clothes so they settled the way he wanted them to. Then he headed for the kitchen, snagging his tea cup that was half full of tepid tea as he passed it.
.
Gojyo followed him in, pushing up his sleeves because damn it was warm.
.
"Sit, sit," Tiedoll ushered, sinking into his own seat. Kanda dropped down in the seat next to Marie, frowning at the food before them.
"Sukiyaki?" he asked. "It's October."
"Sorry, Kanda," Marie said. "It's the one meal I've missed most. You know Daisya hates sukiyaki, and I can't very well eat a whole pot myself."
"Tch, whatever," Kanda muttered.
.
"Aww man! This smells great!" Gojyo didn't care what it was; he just wanted to eat it.
.
"Dig in," Tiedoll said, smiling. "There's plenty for everyone."
Kanda grumbled and dished some mushrooms, tofu, and just about everything else that wasn't meat onto his plate. Marie didn't discriminate, loading a decent pile of everything onto his own plate.
.
Gojyo followed Marie's example. Damn, it was just as good as yesterdays. This was a thousand times better than anything he could have attempted in a million years.
.
They managed to eat in peace for almost ten minutes, nothing but inane small talk being exchanged before Marie turned to Gojyo. "You're not corrupting my baby brother, are you?" he asked.
Kanda promptly started sputtering in indignation. "I'm not your baby brother!"
.
Gojyo choked on his own food. When he could breathe he answered, "I've only known him for like two weeks. I think it takes much longer to corrupt someone."
.
"I'm not a pushover, ya know," Kanda grumbled, angrily stuffing a piece of tofu into his mouth.
"You're not letting Yuu-kun push you around too much, I hope," Tiedoll said. "He can be so bossy and rude sometimes."
"Shut the fuck up," Kanda grumbled, and you'd never be able to get him to admit that one octave higher and he could be honestly considered whining.
.
Gojyo didn't know how to answer that. "Eh, no?"
.
"I hate you all," Kanda muttered.
"You can't hate us that much, we're all still in one piece," Marie teased. Kanda grumbled under his breath, using as many expletives as he knew in both English and Chinese.
"So, Gojyo-kun," Tiedoll said, turning to stare directly at Gojyo. "Why do you keep your hair so long?"
.
"I dunno, easier than cutting it?" he answered offhandedly.
.
"Do you have any pets?" Marie asked. Tiedoll beamed at the question before turning his attention to Gojyo for the answer. Kanda just groaned in exasperation and focused on his dinner like it would make the world a better place.
.
"Uh-no," he said, his tone making it clear that wasn't even a remote possibility.
.
"Darn. You sound like you'd be cute with a cat," Marie said.
.
"Thanks? I guess?"
.
"What's your favorite sport?" Tiedoll asked.
"Oh my god, would the both of you stop?" Kanda asked. "He's not my boyfriend for fuck's sake, you don't need to know everything about him."
.
Gojyo had taken an ill-timed sip of water and it promptly came out his nose.
.
"Idiot," Kanda coughed, refusing to look at Gojyo.
.
"Are you okay?!" Tiedoll exclaimed in somewhat amused horror.
.
"I'm fine," he coughed out. "And I don't play sports."
.
"What a shame," Tiedoll said. "You look like you'd be good with a bo-staff. What do you think Yuu-kun?"
Kanda turned his attention to Gojyo, looking him up and down once before shrugging. "A naginata."
"Oh, good point," Tiedoll said, head tipping to the side. "I need to draw that."
.
"What do you do?" Gojyo asked, turning to Marie to get the questions off himself.
.
"I'm a composer," Marie said. "I write music, though it's a bit difficult, all things considered."
.
"That's cool."
.
After that they all fell back into more comfortable small talk, Tiedoll having retrieved a sketchbook and pencil to draw his idea before it faded away. As soon as the redhead finished eating, Kanda grabbed Gojyo by the arm and dragged him back out to the living room.
"Fucking idiots, the both of them," he muttered, dropping down into his seat from before after letting Gojyo go.
.
"They're nice though." Dinner was never like that at his house.
.
"If you like that sort of thing," Kanda scoffed. He said nothing more though, simply returning to his drawing, able to see it clearly once more."
.
Gojyo reread his essay. It didn't suck too badly, but he just couldn't look at it anymore. "Need me to do anything?"
.
"Could you write their names?" Kanda asked, handing over the portraits. He glanced over at Gojyo quickly before picking up his book and double checking the descriptions of Simon.
.
"Yeah, sure."
.
"Thanks," Kanda muttered, carefully erasing Simon's nose and redrawing it.
.
They passed another hour like this. "Hey, I should probably head home." Reluctance laced his voice.
.
"Oh," Kanda said, looking up from where he was drawing Eric. "Okay. See you tomorrow?"
.
"Yeah, bright an' early second block." Gojyo gave lopsided grin. He packed up his things and poked his head into the kitchen to thank Tiedoll again before leaving.
.
"Goodnight," Kanda said as Gojyo left. "Be careful walking home."
Author's Note: This was originally an RP between us (lepetiterik and lotus seed) and since our other fics are currently... uh... in progress (read: being rebooted) we decided we need to post something.