The Marshmallow Retrospective
Summary: Jane grinned at her perplexity of the long pink ears on his head and held out the colorful basket to her. "Do I want to know what you're doing?"
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Warnings: Fluffiness, OOC-ness, and Unedited.
A/N:
I don't know why ideas like this pop into my head, but when they do—I should just take them and run with it.
This story is in honor of April's Fool Day, and Easter… because I'm huge on humor, and of course—I love plot bunnies! (No pun intended there) hehehe.
Enjoy!
"—Jane, what…" Teresa Lisbon had been in her office, working on a few loose ends of paperwork from their last case when her consultant, Patrick Jane had bounced into her office wearing his normal ensemble with a little something extra on top of his head. Jane grinned at her perplexity of the long pink ears on his head and held out the colorful basket to her. "Do I want to know what you're doing?"
"It's Easter." He responded, and she glanced back down at her paperwork choosing to ignore him. "And I'm the department's Easter Bunny this year." Lisbon glanced back up at him.
"We don't have a "department Easter Bunny."" Lisbon told him, as he shrugged with a grin.
"We do now." She grimaced. "I received an email that told me that I was to be the department Easter Bunny this year."
"Get those things off your head."
"Aw." Jane placed the basket on her conference table, and tugged at the ears on his head to find that he couldn't remove them. "Uh…"
"I told you to take them off!" Lisbon chided, and he shook his head.
"They won't come off!" Lisbon stared at him.
"Do you purposely do things like this to get the attention?" She stood from her desk and came over to Jane to tug on the ears, only to find them stuck to his head. "You weren't lying." He responded by crossing his arms against his chest with a slight pout on his face.
"I don't lie!"
"That's a lie." She told him, leaving the ears alone for a moment to stare down at him.
"Prove it."
"You just did lie." Lisbon explained.
"Nope." He disagreed. "I didn't lie."
"You just did."
"No."
"Yes." She argued. "You lied, because you always lie." He was about to open his mouth to respond, when her phone broke the silence between the both of them and she leaned over to grab it from her desk. "Lisbon." She greeted, Jane tugged at the ears again while she motioned for him to quiet down. After a few moments of silence and the scratching of lead against her notepad, her voice wavered back in. "Thanks." She hung up the phone and without looking at him; she grabbed her jacket and left the room. He followed her out from her office only to be on the end of a few snickers at the ears on his head, and a few comments about his lack of a cottontail. "We've got a case, Jane stay here." Van Pelt, Rigsby and Cho stood from their seats to follow Lisbon outside the bull pen.
"Why?" He asked, interrupting Lisbon's directions to her unit. Cho turned back to stare at him.
"The ears," He stated. "You can't go to a crime scene with those on."
"I can't get them off!" Jane complained, and Van Pelt offered him a small smile before hurrying toward the door.
"Sorry Jane" and she followed the rest of the unit out of the bull pen, while Jane tugged angrily at his new additions to his head.
When Lisbon stepped back into the bull pen later on, with her phone on her ear; she knew something was off. Jane wasn't on his couch, he wasn't lingering in the kitchenette, nor was he in her sight—he was up to something.
"Alright, I'll get back to you on that." The person on the other end disconnected the call, and Lisbon searched for Jane. "Jane?" Cho stepped into the bull pen, and she glanced around the room to find his basket on 'his' couch; suddenly her phone rang again and she went back to answer it. "Li… He's done what?" Everyone in the room froze at the irate tone of the senior agent, even Rigsby and Van Pelt who were walking in discussing the case grew silent, the anger of Lisbon was something many wanted to face. "He can bail himself out." Lisbon hissed, and she was silent for a few more minutes. "Yes, I'll take care of it." Lisbon pulled her phone away from her ear again, and she stormed past Cho's desk muttering something about Jane and his issue with following directions. When she opened her door to her office however, she only screamed in frustration and tried to slam her door to turn back toward her unit. "I'll be back, its consultant hunting season." She stormed out of the bull pen as Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt stared at her office in mild curiosity. Van Pelt made her way to Lisbon's office to peek inside the window only to find that the inside of Lisbon's office looked as if someone had thrown up a party of pink, yellow, blue and purple marshmallow peeps, all staring at her with their beady black eyes. Lisbon was going to kill Jane, there was no doubt about that or the fact he had peeped the bosses office as one elaborate prank.
"How lovely of you to come and visit me, Lisbon." Jane remarked; the bunny ears still attached to his head, which made a handcuffed, jail-uniform wearing man look even more ridiculous. "I tried to tell them that I wasn't meaning to scare the children…" She glared at him. "I went outside, you didn't tell me I couldn't…" She glared at him again. "Is that all you can do." She responded by kicking him under the table. "Ouch!"
"I should let them keep you in here over night, but the AG doesn't like that idea as seeing you broke out the last time." Jane grinned.
"How many people can say they escaped jail using a muffin and a mouse?" She ignored him in favor to continue on but he wouldn't let her. "Only to help, the wonderful SCU catch a killer too." He chuckled and she rolled her eyes, only he could make a rhyme at a time like this.
"Don't worry," she replied. "I'm not going to let you stay the night." Jane stared at Lisbon, who wore a smirk on her face.
* * * * *
"Lisbon, I think your candy reproduced." Jane stated, looking around at the many peeps in her office. "You might want to do something about that…"
"You have until we get back to clean this up." She threatened. "If not, I'll lock you in one of the many closets…"
"Will you be there? So we can repro…" She launched one of the many peeps off her desk at his head, which he ducked and the candy managed to hit his bunny ears and plop down on his head. "I think I'll name it Steve."
"Get started." She ordered, as she left him to clean up the colorful mess but not before allowing a small smile in his direction. "By the way, the thing about department emails," she told him as he stared at her in disbelief. "Anyone can send them anonymously." Jane went back to tugging at the ears as Lisbon left her office, laughing.
"What about the ears?" He called after her, and she turned back toward him with only a slight grin. "Why can't I get them off?"
"It's called super glue." Lisbon explained, as he grimaced in response. "Have fun cleaning" He only glared at her in return, as she grinned. "Oh, don't take everything so seriously."
"I can't believe you'd do something like this." He argued with her, and she raised her eyebrow.
"After all the crazy stunts you pull on us in here, you really think that I'd let you get away with that?" She asked, crossing her arms against her chest. "I'd say we're even." She indicated toward her office with a tilt of her head.
"You're not the one with ears on your head." He gave, and she shook her head. "How am I supposed to get these off, Lisbon?"
"If you clean my office," She replied, innocently. "I'll help you take the ears off…"
"But…"
"If not, you can just remain with the ears on for another week or so—maybe we'll even find you a bunny suit with a cottontail." He dryly laughed.
"Funny."
"I thought you'd think so." She responded.