Author: Yaoikoibito
Pairings/Characters: KuroFai, DouWata, Rikuo/Kazahaya, TouYuki, Suoh/Nokoru, Yuko
Yaoikoibito: Here I am again, with another fanfic! Again, I used the ever so sweet CLAMP boys that we all love. This is AU, again. At least, I think so. Well, actually, it's set in Japan, the XXXHOLiC one. And assuming that some of you have guesses to this Japan in connection of Cardcaptor Sakura's Japan, I had always assumed that they were the same (somehow), though my depiction of the timeline's are off for the benefit of this... story, if you want to call it that.
Oh please! Disclaimer-san! I will give you a kiss if you tell them I own the CLAMP boys!
Disclaimer-san: *sigh* She doesn't own them… even if she were to give me a kiss.
Warning-san: I wouldn't let her anyway… this is rated G seeing that there's not that much yaoi/shounen ai happenings. There are only implications. Also, mild spoilers that she's assuming almost everyone knows of anyhow.
Yaoikoibito:… Are Disclaimer-san and Warning-san together? O.o
Disclaimer-san and Warning-san: Er… on with the fic!
xxX~o~Xxx
To be blunt, it annoyed him. Though maybe he wouldn't directly show it.
Fai appreciated the things his Kuro-pipi-sensei would do for him, but he found it quite bothersome nonetheless. Not in a sense that he found the help being given bothersome –it was anything but that, he was happy that the other man paid him mind- rather the prospect of troubling the other party. Even if Fai caused said party other… unwanted attention (example: teasing).
Yes, Fai admits to having caused a different kind of trouble with his teasing. That he could admit without a single ounce of hesitation. But what troubles they cause have an ample amount of difference. The effects that it would give Kurogane were greatly at a distance. With his teasing, he wasn't hurting his dear Kuro-pon-sensei, right? The problem with the other trouble was that, Kurogane was –and is- getting hurt.
Fai was maybe, kind of, a little accident prone. Why yesterday, he almost fell down a flight of stairs. But almost. Of course, Kurogane had taken it upon himself to grab the blond with a great amount of quickness and because of that, Kurogane had apparently sprained his wrist.
There were other incidents too. But some were just too… unbearable to remember. Fai hates it when he troubles Kuro-rin-sensei, it was because he cared for him a lot. In actuality, Fai cared for a lot of people. It was one of the things that one should not stop spreading, the care. It was a pleasure of life, he remembered Norman McEwan saying "we make a living when we get, but we make a life of what we give". He had a lot to give, in the forms of care and love of course.
But, he mostly cared for Kuro-mi-sensei. Saying that it was because of the other man's doings that he had learned what love was would be an over statement. He always knew what love was, there was platonic, romantic, and many other kinds. He, however, had not experienced passionate love. He was filled to the brim with the affections that Kuro-tan-sensei had showered him with (with the subtlety of a mosquito, Kurogane would like to keep his tough appearance, thank you very much). Fai wasn't the most selfish of people either, and Kuro-pon-sensei had somehow managed to make him express even a little amount selfishness.
Fai had sighed thinking if he would still be alive if he had not met Kuro-puppy-sensei. It was an exaggeration if he said he wouldn't survive without Kuro-wanwan-sensei, he knew how to sustain for himself. If it weren't for the other, though, he knew that he could never fully open up. But if his affections and love and the need to protect Fai had gone overboard and he suddenly left Fai feeling unbearable sadness, where would Fai be? Who or what could ever suffice his great loss and grieving?
And that was why he was here, sitting on one of the park's benches and just listening to the birds chirping, contemplating how he could stop Kuro-pii-sensei with his over protective streak.
He was greatly dejected.
With this, he hadn't noticed a raven-haired teen walking up to him.
xxX~o~Xxx
Kimihiro was slightly peeved that he had been sent to go buy hang-over remedy for his dear employer. He was to go to Green Drugstore, it was at a walking distance. He almost gave off a smirk thinking that maybe he could make his employer suffer a little –only a little, he was scared of what possibilities that Yuuko-san could do to torment him more- by taking a detour, enjoying the sights he could see, though there wasn't anything that would change in the streets he had been long familiar with.
He had not counted on seeing one of Syaoran-kun's travelling companions sitting on the park bench. He looked sad. Kimihiro remembered him being the one that was usually cheery. That smile… So, this was what the Fai-san in his world was like? He seemed to be pondering over something.
And seeing that Kimihiro was usually worried about the people he knows –may it have been a mutual relationship- he approached the blond and sat down beside him on the bench. It seemed to have snapped him out of his reverie.
Fai-san looked at him and smiled, obviously trying to conceal what was troubling him, though of course, Kimihiro didn't know that. How could he know that when he knew almost nothing about Fai-san? He asked the older blond -who looked to be a professor might he add, though he wasn't quite sure, he could be a vet as well or maybe it was just one of his outfits- what had been troubling him. Of course, he didn't expect the answer that was coming.
Apparently, there wasn't only a Fai-san. No. Of course not, destiny always meant for things like this to happen. It was just that, destiny forgot about the Fai-san in Seresu. And Destiny, being kind-hearted as she was, had of course reprimanded her own mistake. In the form a certain Kurogane-san he met that was from Suwa. That is for another tale for this doesn't have anything to do with that. This Fai-san, he knew a Kurogane-san too. And not only that. They were lovers. They were in an intimate relationship; Kimihiro didn't feel disgruntled about the fact that they were… in that kind of a relationship.
The truth was Kimihiro may be having those… same kinds of feelings. But woe to the person at the receiving end, Kimihiro was in denial. He was afraid of committing himself to that person. Kimihiro wouldn't want to cause that stupid oaf Doumeki any trouble right? Woah wait… he does not like Doumeki! He does not! Doumeki wasn't the one at the receiving end! Right…?
With this reflection, Kimihiro was made to think about Shizu- Doumeki dammit! Yes Doumeki… Right… Going back, he thought about the times that Doumeki would sacrifice and look out for him. The first thing that came to mind was the time Doumeki had sacrificed his blood. His blood, for Kimihiro to live and for him not to die. This was one of the things he did that angered him the most. There was also the other time that angered him, the time when one of Doumeki's eyes had become almost blind, Kimihiro had given his eye away for Doumeki to see. But the hopeless idiot had kept on insisting that Kimihiro had no right to do that. He had the nerve to be angry with him! He was… fine! Though, he was thankful for the half of Doumeki's eye… at least he had a somewhat normal peripheral vision again, though the sharing of some of the visions had irked him.
He snapped out of his musings when Fai-san had waved his hand up and down in front of his face. He was faced with a smile that said, or rather expressed, the question if he had been fine or not. Kimihiro nodded saying that it was okay, that he had somehow felt the same with what Fai-san had told him and that he too had a friend –yes a friend, get off his back will you?- that was a lot like how Kurogane-san was. He acknowledged the fact that Doumeki was over reacting as well when it came to his safety.
And having revealed not that much but still enough to call it safe that it was okay for them to spend a little time together, Fai-san invited Kimihiro for a little walk while chatting, with Kimihiro politely accepting of course. Maybe they could rest for a while at a nearby café too.
Kimihiro, completely forgetting to buy the remedy medicine he had opted to do a while ago. But maybe, he would remember later. Maybe.
xxX~o~Xxx
Nokoru, he was a boy that was like any other. Well, any other that was as rich and as smart as he was, and he was quite modest about it too (and a male someone who was having a relationship with another certainly male someone). There were of times that the ever famous people had asked help; for his knowledge. And because of this, there have been a lot of times that his life was put in danger. He was threatened to be assassinated and others of the likes. Every time though, he was ready, and he knew what he had to do. (though he never really was kidnapped or his life put severely in danger. It was best to be safe though, rather than being dead.) And now that there was someone who would do anything just to be able to protect him, he was even safer than before.
And that was why he was sitting at this café called "The Cat's Eye". He had ordered chocolat au fondant and sat outside on one of the café's tables contemplating about a certain argument he had had with a certain person that went by the name Takamura Suoh. Why had he argued with Suoh in the first place? Well, mainly because his lover had once again put his life in the line saying that it was his duty and choice to protect Nokoru with his life. This time, it was a particularly close call too!
One night, he, Suoh and Akira had gone to a festival. They had all adorned wonderfully and intricately designed yukatas that was just unique in each of its little own way and yet if the three weren't together, it was as if the other two yukatas were somehow out of place. The night had been going on greatly; they had a lot of fun with each other. It was a beautiful evening, and the only thing that could perfect an evening such as this was a fireworks display. And, there was one.
But that was when it happened. As the beautiful colours exploded in the sky, they did not hear a gun being fired. If it weren't for the fact that Suoh had suddenly leaned on Nokoru and had gotten in his way, they wouldn't have seen he was shot. His yukata stained with blood, Nokoru panicked and hastily instructed that Akira called for an ambulance, anything! When they had gotten him safely in the hospital, the doctors immediately prepared for them to remove the bullet that was so close to his heart. Only millimetres could have made the difference, and he wouldn't even have had the argument with Suoh.
And, considering the whole day Suoh had slept, it had been three days since that incident. It had been three days since the heart wrenching pain. He argued to Suoh saying that what if he had died, that nobody could have replaced him. Suoh had argued back reiterating the same thing, that it was better him to be hurt, that there would be a much greater lost if it were Nokoru who had been close at death's door. If it weren't for the fact the Suoh had winced from pain for suddenly raising his voice and that Akira had to practically drag Nokoru out of the hospital room for him calm his nerves, he would've continued his argument.
He sighed. Sometimes, he regretted having someone falling for him and for him falling back. It were only sometimes though when things like this had happened because he knew it would always be like this committing yourself to the one you would give your life to. He knew that love was as beautiful as it was painful. That a simple four lettered word had a simple definition as well, but he could never find the words to truly express the feeling.
Oh. He noticed one of his close friends (that was actually his distant relative, though he wasn't quite sure how distant) walking with a teen that seemed to be a student, though he was sure that that person wasn't a student of Fai-san. As Nokoru was once a student of the other blond when he was younger. Nokoru waved to them, bidding Fai-san and his acquaintance to come over. He introduced himself to the person who seemed to be known as Watanuki Kimihiro-kun and the three had a nice little chat. After a while, Watanuki-kun stood up and apologized saying he had forgotten to buy something and said something along the lines of hoping to run into them some time in the near future.
Nokoru didn't actually think that Fai-san would have noticed that he was quite rather stressed. Fai had asked what was bothering him, which he replied with the summary of the recent events, he left out the part where the bullet had almost gone through Suoh's heart. Almost everyone knew of Kurogane-san –Fai-san's lover who he was acquainted with, though you wouldn't exactly call him and Nokoru "close friends"- being a wee bit fond of Suoh. But then again, he had trained the youth before in self defence, but that was beside the point.
Fai-san patted his back saying that Suoh had only wanted to protect him, that at least they were both safe and all right now. However, with that across, Nokoru finally gave in to the sadness he felt and said that Suoh had almost died. Nokoru saw that Fai-san had on a look of apprehension. He did not mean for that to slip out! Oh no, now he'll be feeling dread as well.
He had not expected, however, for his older friend to suddenly hug him and say that it was all right to cry. He did not want to cry… right? If so, then why were there tears trickling down his face?
xxX~o~Xxx
It was like any other day, except any other days weren't usually how Kazahaya would spend a day. Being employed by Kakei, he had always expected odd jobs and what not. But instead, he was actually having a normal day. It wasn't supposed to be like this! Why, you may ask? Well, it could only mean one thing… the worst was yet to come. Rikuo said he was just being paranoid and that he also just wanted to have pay as well. Well Kazahaya can't help it. Rikuo would always mock him saying he would take any job.
It was good thing that the other teen mentioned wasn't with him right now. He was off and about again, snooping –no sorry, searching- around for that mystery girl he was looking for that was neither confirmed dead nor alive. Kazahaya hoped it was for the better, but something in his heart made him feel… wrong. He didn't know what it was; it was always this feeling, when there was something concerning Rikuo. His heart would beat faster, he would feel heat rising to his cheeks, and there was something that would get on his nerves. Once he tried to tell Saiga-san this, but the older man just smiled knowingly, and would walk away, looking for Kakei-san, or if said man was already around the perimeter, suddenly kiss him squarely on the lips as if wanting to tell Kazahaya something. It was creepy, not the relationship, but the way that there was something Saiga-san and Kakei-san knew about him that he himself was supposed to know but didn't.
But he was saved from these thoughts, their usual customer came in. He was a teen –around 18 or 19 maybe- and he also learned that the other's name was Watanuki-kun when they had seen enough of each other and exchanged names. Because they were polite that way, they both reasoned. But, there was another teen walking beside Watanuki-kun around the same age, only maybe slightly taller. He looked like an introvert, though he wouldn't want to judge first, his golden eyes were almost empty if you didn't look close enough. But, contrary to belief of his naiveté, Kazahaya could see there was something in his eyes whenever he would say a few words to Watanuki-kun.
There was something, it reminded him of Rikuo, how they would also always argue (because the two in front of him were currently arguing as they were entering the store) though of course he wasn't quite sure of that. He only had the certain reaction of Saiga-san and Kakei-san and the constant teasing of Rikuo.
He continued to stare at the stranger, particularly his eyes. Then he heard the golden-eyed teen say something to Watanuki-kun. He said he wanted to watch over Watanuki-kun, almost implying to wanting to protect him. And that was when the other's eyes sparkled more; more alike to Rikuo now when he would save him, because even if he didn't want to admit that Rikuo would save him, he was still grateful.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when the two had approached the counter, Watanuki-kun smiling politely at him but glaring at his companion at times.
xxX~O~Xxx
Ah yes… Watanuki was late… but Yuko knew why it was so. It was better that this happened, she thinks. Watanuki needs to understand certain things; he needs to actually be able to admit to himself that there was something that was troubling. A different something he never actually thought of. It wasn't that Doumeki-kun's presence that was what troubled him. Because instinctively, he knew Doumeki-kun would usually be there to sacrifice anything for him. And instinctively, Watanuki didn't want Doumeki-kun to do that.
What human would want someone to get hurt for them? If especially that someone that was willing to get hurt would be someone you cared for. That was what was so beautiful and ugly about care. Willing to be able to sacrifice anything you have, and yet sometimes not thinking of the consequences first, especially when their decision might greatly affect the significant other.
As she had already drank her hang-over remedy that she and Mokona had discovered they actually had stored somewhere they didn't bother to look, she heard the bell at the door of her shop give a little 'ring'. She got ready to accommodate who the person was.
When her eyes landed on said person, it was him who always visited her shop for his significant other. Only this one, he was only a small child, maybe around twelve or so. Yukito-kun. Always friends-turned-lovers with their respective Touya-kun in different worlds, Yuko always received his wishes, because they were for To-ya -how he always pronounced the other's name (because he was special to Touya, just as Touya is special to Yukito with his name as 'Yuki'). But it wasn't always a Yukito-kun; sometimes, rarely, it was Touya-kun, when it was really hopeless even with his unfathomable amount of determination.
The patterns, Yuko noticed, was that Touya-kun would do something for Yukito-kun that would risk his life or something as drastic as that –though there are only a few things that could even compare to that- and that would always persuade Yukito-kun to make a wish for Touya-kun's safety.
She smiled kindly at the young boy, asking him what his wish was. He sobbed and rubbed his eyes with one of his hands in a closed fist as his other was carrying a white stuffed bunny. He said that his friend, saying his name was To-ya –again, she couldn't help but smile a little inside because their… friendship or love for each other was inevitable and so pure even with all the difficulties their relationship, has, will or have to face- as well as him, were always being bullied. And that To-ya would always stick up for him, but To-ya would always be gravely injured.
He wished that they would stop bullying them, that they wouldn't bother them that much anymore. Yuko nodded in understanding, but said that he would have to give up something for his wish to be granted. He said anything, as long as To-ya wouldn't get hurt anymore –because no matter how much you put as the ends and the means, that was what he always wanted anyway.
She looked at him for a couple of moments, and decided. She pointed at the stuffed bunny, that would be enough as payment. He held it tightly against his chest for a second. That bunny was what Touya-kun had given him as his first ever Christmas and birthday present to Yukito-kun, that was also the same stuffed bunny Touya-kun had received from his deceased mother. He hesitated little, but finally handed it over, saying that she should take care of him greatly. She nodded again with a small smile on her face and patted his head.
She promised she would –more on promising that she would find someone that if ever needed this bunny would take care of it, but he didn't tell him that. He walked out of her shop; she knew he might've felt a little guilty because he had given one of the most precious things that Touya-kun could have ever given to him.
His wish contained love, too much love. It needed to be repaid with the same amount of love his wish possessed. And this bunny, it was given because out of love. Touya-kun's mother gave it to him as a remembrance of her, and Touya-kun had given this to Yukito-kun because he loved him. And now, he gave it to Yuko because of his love for Touya-kun. No matter what kind of love Touya-kun's soul possessed for Yukito-kun's, platonic, romantic, it was amazing. They were always together no matter in which dimension. And the love that that Yukito-kun possessed for his Touya-kun was just as strong as the ones in the other world.
The doll -the stuffed rabbit- she received, would be given to someone who lacked love, that she was sure of.
THE END
a/n: ahahahaha… this was 3624 words long excluding the author's notes and such… XD and there wasn't a single dialogue.. XD why did I write this…? It's actually a rant fic, haven't you noticed that the… 'semes' in the clamp bl relationships, they would always sacrifice too much for the 'ukes' in the relationship… Touya and his sacrificing of his magic for Yukito. Kurogane for cutting his arm and being a blood sacrifice for Fai. Doumeki and his blood and eye for Watanuki. I tried to portray what their feelings might be if they sacrificed too much for the other.