A/N: I got this idea from a great author who wrote a hilarious spoof of Romeo and Juliet, so I decided to play off of it! I don't own Romeo or Juliet or any of the charactors from 'Titanic' that I might throw in here. Sit back, laugh, and enjoy! Oh and to those of you with red hair who will be offended by a cetain statement, I don't truly believe that!! I love redheads, I think their the coolest, it's just that that's what people believed back then. So please don't flame me!
To Sink or to Not to Sink? That is the Question
Romeo and Juliet stood on Juliet's balcony, staring into each other's eyes, neither willing to leave the other.
"Good night, good night. Parting in such sweet sorry, that I say goodnight till it be marrow." Juliet was whispering with feeling, and the leaned into kiss, but suddenly the world started to spin. Romeo grabbed Juliet and held her close as the balcony and room and gardens below melded away. From somewhere far off screaming could be heard. Juliet screamed.
A scene started to twist and form before them, and then when everything became clear it stopped. They stood and stared at what had happened. They were now standing on a hardwood floor, and hundreds of people surrounded them, wearing puffy white vests, and many of them crying and screaming. The floor was at a tilt, and below them was miles and miles of water.
"Romeo, where the heck are we?" Juliet asked, fretting.
"I have no idea, dearest."
They huddled closer together, but it was impossible. They too were wearing the puffy white jackets. Juliet looked up and gasped when she saw that Romeo had changed. Instead of his dark brown hair and emerald green eyes, he now had light, sandy blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, like the sea after a storm. His features were different now, more layed back. "Romeo, what happened, you look different."
Romeo looked down at her. "Look who's talking! You have red hair!"
"What?!" Juliet reached up and yanked out a hair and pulled it down to look at it. It was a flaming red color. "Oh no! I'll be killed or sure, red heads are witches!"
"I won't let them."
The ground suddenly lurched and they were thrown to the ground. "What is going on?"
"Rose!" someone screamed. "Rose, get here this instant!" Juliet remained unfazed. "ROSE!" Suddenly an old woman dressed in furs and warm coats approached her and grabbed her arm. "Rose, we have to get out of here while there's still lifeboats!" Juliet looked at the woman, confused. "I'm not Rose, I'm Juliet!"
"Rose, I don't have time for games! The ship is sinking, and we're all going to die unless you get in the boat!"
Juliet gasped. "Romeo, you have to come with us! The ship is sinking!"
"I'm coming don't worry."
The old woman looked at Romeo with hatred. "No you aren't, you filthy third-class rat! Women and children only!"
Romeo suddenly boiled with rage. "Third class rat! I'll have you know you rude woman that I-"
"How dare you speak to me so! I'm far richer than you'll ever be and-" The boat gave another lurch.
"Come Rose, we must go!" The woman started dragging her along.
"ROMEO!" Juliet screamed, reaching for him. Romeo started off to get her, but a man with greasy black hair and a dark complexion cut him off. "Going somewhere, Jack?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, sir, but my name is Romeo and they're carting off my Juliet for god knows where!"
The man laughed out loud. "Let's not get sappy here, Jack. Rose is mine, and you know it. She's my fiancee, and you'll never have her."
Romeo/Jack frowned. "Her fiancee? But-" Suddenly Jack glared at the man. "Paris! You slimy knave! You dog! She doesn't love you, she loves me!"
Paris/Cal sighed. "No time for this, I must get off of this God-forsaken ship." He searched around, and grabbed a stray child and ran off for the nearest lifeboat. Romeo/Jack watched after him, fuming. He went to the rail, and saw Juliet/Rose being helped into a boat but was still screaming for Romeo.
"ROMEO! STOP THEM!" She yelled, reaching out for him but was still being shoved into the boat.
"JULIET!" he yelled, running to get on the boat, but was cut off by a man in a black uniform. "Sorry sir, women and children only."
"But I love her!"
"Sorry, sir."
He watched her being lowered, and the small boat gave a sudden start, then bounced. Juliet/Rose screamed, and jumped off the boat, catching a lower ledge and climbing over. "JULIET!" Romeo screamed, and jumped over the ledge, then grabbed the railing. Juliet waited there, and screamed as she saw Romeo flying past, but he grabbed the railing in time. She helped him over.
"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?" He asked, fuming.
She frowned. "What are you talking about? Why would I be engaged if I loved you?"
"There was a man up on the higher level claiming he was your fiancee. Or Roses' at least."
They climbed up the waterlogged stairs, Juliet/Rose shivering the whole way. "This water is freezing!"
Romeo/Jack picked her up and carried her up the rest of the way. The ship leaned further into the water. "The ship is going down stern-first!" he exclaimed. "We better get to the stern and stay there."
Juliet/Rose looked at him with a funny look. "How did you know that?"
Romeo/Jack frowned. "I don't know. I just did. Come on, we have to get to the front." he grabbed her hand and together they started pushing their way through the hundreds of people milling about, waiting for the death that would consume them.
"Climb over the rail. It's going to be like a cork, and this way we won't slip." Romeo/Jack helped Juliet/Rose over the rail, then climbed over the ledge. "No matter what you do, don't let go of my hand. Got it?"
She nodded and squeezed his hand. Suddenly, the ship was perfectly vertical. It hung there and Juliet/Rose took a deep breath and suddenly the top of the ship plunged down for the velvety-black sea. Juliet/Rose screamed, and gripped Romeo/Jack's hand even tighter, but suddenly they weren't on the ship, but back on Juliet's balcony, hanging off of the edge and gripping hands. Juliet looked behind her and screamed, scrambling over the edge again. Romeo followed her.
"What was that? A vision, or a dream perhaps?" Romeo asked.
"I have no idea!" Juliet replied, thoroughly shaken.
"A VISION, SOMEWHAT, YES." a suddenly voice boomed.
They whirled around in every direction looking for where it came from.
"A COUPLE SIMILAR TO YOU WILL BE FACED WITH THAT VERY FATE. APPRECIATE YOUR TIME TOGETHER ROMEO, JULIET."
"But they were faced with death! There was no way they could live through that!" Romeo yelled to the night sky, then was silent for a second. "Do you mean we're going to die?"
There was silence.
"ARE WE GOING TO DIE!" Romeo yelled louder.
"I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY. BUT SAVOR YOUR TIME TOGETHER, YOURS IS ONE OF THE PUREST OF ALL LOVES." the voice replied.
"We're not going to die!" Juliet piped up. There was silence once more. "Hello?!" but there was no answer. What ever it was, it was gone now. Juliet threw her arms around Romeo's neck. "We're not going to die." she repeated, but her voice quavered.
"Of course not, love." Romeo said with as much confidence he could muster. He held her tight. "But I must go now." He pulled apart and they kissed, then he slipped into the night.
Unfortunately, their promises on the balcony were broken. The two teenage love birds chose to be together in death than apart in life, but the booming voice was right. Theirs was the most purest of all loves. ~*~
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