Title: Black Car Driven By A Black-haired Guy
Disclaimers: Slam Dunk (c) Takehiko Inoue. Lyrics of 'Ode To My Car' (c) Adam Sandler. Lyrics taken from www.lyrics.com. Mercedes and some car brand names are not mine.
***
Author's note: You know, this fic can be a play. ^^ This fic is inspired by the song 'Ode To My Car' and SP's fic, 'Reactions'.
***
A little innocent girl was crossing the road when suddenly a car zoomed out of nowhere - heading towards the little girl!
"Don't worry! The tensai is coming to the rescue!" Sakuragi Hanamichi cried, as he dashed across the road, picking up the little girl on the way.
Sakuragi Hanamichi put the girl down on the pavement. The little girl looked up at Sakuragi with gratefulness shining in her brown eyes.
"You saved me! Thank you mister red-haired man!" the little girl said, and curtsized in her pink frilly dress before she quickly skipped away merrily.
The car screeched to a halt a few inches behind the tall red-haired guy. Sakuragi was about to wheel around and scold the reckless driver for terorizing the little people, when he heard--
"Sakuragi-kun! It's ... so ... beyond words.... I ...," Sakuragi heard Haruko voice out her breathy words. Haruko looked dazed and amazed, her shopping bags had fallen beside her feet in shock. She was truthly impressed.
"Ha! Ha! It was nothing Haruko-chan! This tensai can do anything," Sakuragi said, as he put a hand behind his head, and started his "tensai" laughing.
"It's the most beautiful car I've ever seen! Is it yours, right?" the brown- haired girl asked. Sakuragi immediately stopped laughing like someone had just flipped a switch.
Sakuragi's cheek twiched as he was swallowed by the feeling of disappointment that Haruko was talking about the car instead of his tensai's heroic event.
Hmm... since Haruko-chan likes the car, no harm in making up a small tiny lie, thought Sakuragi as he grinned.
"Hai! This is my car! Nyahahaha!" Sakuragi said as he leaned against the black mercedes car. Luckily for Sakuragi, the car's windows were illegaly tinted in the blackest black colour so Haruko couldn't see if there is a driver inside the car.
The windows automaticly went down and a black-haired guy stuck his head out. "Do'ahou, don't lean on my car," he said. Sakuragi could feel his veins popping out of his head, and yelled, "Shut up baka kitsune! How dare you talk to tensai Sakuragi like that!"
The windows for the backseats went down too, revealing Ayako, Mitsui and Miyagi was at the backseat.
'We're teaching Rukawa how to drive," said Miyagi. "For some reason, there are no teachers are willing to teach Rukawa," said Mitsui.
"Most of the teachers that tried to teach him ended up in the hospital," explained Ayako. She then brandished her paper fan, "But with us around, I bet we will be succesfull."
"Can I come along too?" Haruko asked, as she opened the car's front door and went inside.
"Hey, if Haruko-chan is going! I'm coming too!" Sakuragi said as he opened the back door, but the car quickly zoomed off, leaving Sakuragi to inhale the grey smoke. "AH! WAIT YOU BAKA KITSUNE! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL MY HARUKO- CHAN!" cried Sakuragi, running after Rukawa's car.
~
"Look, there is a road bump up ahead!" Ayako said, pointing at a 'road bump'. "Zzzzz...." snored Rukawa, his head asleep on the steering wheel.
'WHAP!' came the paper fan.
"Hn?" Rukawa woke up from his precious sleep, and looked up ahead. "When there is a road bump, you got to go slooow," said Miyagi. "Yeah, lay the car, you know, lay the car over the bump," said Mitsui.
'Hmm...,' thought Rukawa, 'before you do a lay-up shot, you got to run first, so....'
ZOOM! Rukawa had hit the excellarator pedal!
"AHHHHH!" Haruko and everyone in the backseat screamed, as the car went flying over the road bump!
~
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"No! It's a demonic flying car! And it's heading this way! AAAHHHHH!"
Tatsuhiko Aota the judo-man ignored the silly bickering outside the paintshop and sighed as he carried buckets of paint.
"This job is so boring, but I need the money. I wish I could just see my beautiful Haruko," he said, and turned around.
His wish came true! He saw Haruko! She was coming closer, and closer, and closer!
But wait, she was in a car, and-- screaming?
WA-A-AH! Then he realised that Haruko was in a car, driven by some reckless driver, and the car is--
Aota quickly threw the buckets of paint up in the air and turned around to run.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! The different coloured paint had been splattered all over Rukawa's car.
And Aota was lying on the floor, with two tyre marks on his back.
~
"Now we're parking. So go slooow! And I mean SLOW!" ordered Ayako. Rukawa didn't look like he was dozing off on the steering wheel, but he didn't look like he was paying attention either.
The mercedes (which now had other colours besides its original shiney black colour) crashed on a lamppost, and went skidding towards a huge drain!
"SLOW! SLOW DOWN! BRAKES! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL MY AYA-CHHHAAAA- AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
The car was on the verge of falling down into the drain!
"REBOUND! REBOUND!" cried Mitsui franticly, as he felt the car rocking.
'Why isn't Rukawa paying attention?' wondered Haruko, as she used her brown eyes to scan Rukawa's expression.
"Rukawa is asleep with his eyes open!" she exclaimed, panicking.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" everyone in the backseat screamed, and Ayako took out her faithful paper-fan and starting whacking Rukawa.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
"What's going on?" Rukawa muttered, as he blinked. Finally! He was awake!
"Quick! Quick! Rebound! Rebound!" Mitsui cried.
Rukawa blinked. And blinked again.
"The car is going to fall into a drain you baka! Hit the accelerator!" cried Ryota.
Rukawa blinked. And blinked again. The car rocked.
"We're going to diiiiieee!!!" Ayako screamed.
"Oh, we're going to die," Rukawa muttered, sounding uninterested. His eyelids were about to droop, when it abruptly widened. "NANI?!"
The car zoomed out faster than the speed of light.
~
"Um, dad, I dented my Mercedes, can I get a Ferari instead?" Rukawa asked his dad on the phone. He could hear his dad choking on his food on the other side of the line.
Then he heard the phone was snatched by Mrs. Rukawa and she started yelling, 'What?! I told you to take good care of the car! How dare you do such a thing ... bla blah blah...'
"What would convince us to buy a new car for you!?" asked Mr Rukawa, snatching the phone from Mrs. Rukawa.
Rukawa whipped out a microphone and starts singing 'Ode To My Car'.
~
(In this brackets) = Haruko and Ayako singing
***song starts***
Ode To My Car
Here we go
Piece of shit car
I got a piece of shit car
That fuckin' pile of shit
Never gets me very far
My car's a big piece of shit
'Cause the shocks are fucking shot
And my seatbelt's fucking broken
I got to tie it in a knot
(It's a piece of shit)
I can't see through the windshield
'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack
And the interior smells real bad
'Cause my friend puked in the back
(It's a piece of shit)
(Piece of shit car)
Piece of shit car
(He's got a piece of shit car)
It sucks royal dick
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
100% crap
(Never gets him very far)
Oh fuck you car
It's got no CD player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(They can bite his ass too)
And I got no fuckin' brakes
I'm always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear "Hey, watch it asshole"
(You fuckin' piece of shit)
(Piece of shit car)
I got piece of shit car
(He got a piece of shit car)
Diesel gas sucks my ass
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
That pile of metal shit
(Never gets him very far)
Oh what the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
To get stuck with you
You're too wide for drive-thru
And you smell like the shoe
But I'm too broke to buy something new
Oh fuck me
Well the engine likes to flood
The car always fuckin' stalls
And the seat cushion's got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls
(Ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are busted
I gotta use a fucking coat hanger
(What a pain in his ass)
And if a girlie sees my car
There's no chance I'll ever bang her
(He never ever gets da pussy)
Hey shut up
(Piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(You got a piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(Piece of shit car)
Bald fuckin' tires
(You got a piece of shit car)
No rearview fucking mirror
(Piece of shit car)
Seven different colors
(You got a piece of shit car)
Fucking rag for a gas cap
(Piece of shit car)
Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
Oh the whole town thinks I'm a loser
(You got a piece of shit car)
Cabby give me a push
(Piece of shit car...)
***end of song***
"STOP! STOP SINGING!" screamed Mrs Rukawa. "We'll get you a new car! I hate it when ****ing people use ****ing foul words! I don't want my ****ing son speaking ****ing language! All those ****ing people should go to h*ll!"
~
Two days later....
Rukawa got a new car!
Shiney,
Immune to damage,
And most of all! It's
....
A toy car!
(End!)
Disclaimers: Slam Dunk (c) Takehiko Inoue. Lyrics of 'Ode To My Car' (c) Adam Sandler. Lyrics taken from www.lyrics.com. Mercedes and some car brand names are not mine.
***
Author's note: You know, this fic can be a play. ^^ This fic is inspired by the song 'Ode To My Car' and SP's fic, 'Reactions'.
***
A little innocent girl was crossing the road when suddenly a car zoomed out of nowhere - heading towards the little girl!
"Don't worry! The tensai is coming to the rescue!" Sakuragi Hanamichi cried, as he dashed across the road, picking up the little girl on the way.
Sakuragi Hanamichi put the girl down on the pavement. The little girl looked up at Sakuragi with gratefulness shining in her brown eyes.
"You saved me! Thank you mister red-haired man!" the little girl said, and curtsized in her pink frilly dress before she quickly skipped away merrily.
The car screeched to a halt a few inches behind the tall red-haired guy. Sakuragi was about to wheel around and scold the reckless driver for terorizing the little people, when he heard--
"Sakuragi-kun! It's ... so ... beyond words.... I ...," Sakuragi heard Haruko voice out her breathy words. Haruko looked dazed and amazed, her shopping bags had fallen beside her feet in shock. She was truthly impressed.
"Ha! Ha! It was nothing Haruko-chan! This tensai can do anything," Sakuragi said, as he put a hand behind his head, and started his "tensai" laughing.
"It's the most beautiful car I've ever seen! Is it yours, right?" the brown- haired girl asked. Sakuragi immediately stopped laughing like someone had just flipped a switch.
Sakuragi's cheek twiched as he was swallowed by the feeling of disappointment that Haruko was talking about the car instead of his tensai's heroic event.
Hmm... since Haruko-chan likes the car, no harm in making up a small tiny lie, thought Sakuragi as he grinned.
"Hai! This is my car! Nyahahaha!" Sakuragi said as he leaned against the black mercedes car. Luckily for Sakuragi, the car's windows were illegaly tinted in the blackest black colour so Haruko couldn't see if there is a driver inside the car.
The windows automaticly went down and a black-haired guy stuck his head out. "Do'ahou, don't lean on my car," he said. Sakuragi could feel his veins popping out of his head, and yelled, "Shut up baka kitsune! How dare you talk to tensai Sakuragi like that!"
The windows for the backseats went down too, revealing Ayako, Mitsui and Miyagi was at the backseat.
'We're teaching Rukawa how to drive," said Miyagi. "For some reason, there are no teachers are willing to teach Rukawa," said Mitsui.
"Most of the teachers that tried to teach him ended up in the hospital," explained Ayako. She then brandished her paper fan, "But with us around, I bet we will be succesfull."
"Can I come along too?" Haruko asked, as she opened the car's front door and went inside.
"Hey, if Haruko-chan is going! I'm coming too!" Sakuragi said as he opened the back door, but the car quickly zoomed off, leaving Sakuragi to inhale the grey smoke. "AH! WAIT YOU BAKA KITSUNE! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL MY HARUKO- CHAN!" cried Sakuragi, running after Rukawa's car.
~
"Look, there is a road bump up ahead!" Ayako said, pointing at a 'road bump'. "Zzzzz...." snored Rukawa, his head asleep on the steering wheel.
'WHAP!' came the paper fan.
"Hn?" Rukawa woke up from his precious sleep, and looked up ahead. "When there is a road bump, you got to go slooow," said Miyagi. "Yeah, lay the car, you know, lay the car over the bump," said Mitsui.
'Hmm...,' thought Rukawa, 'before you do a lay-up shot, you got to run first, so....'
ZOOM! Rukawa had hit the excellarator pedal!
"AHHHHH!" Haruko and everyone in the backseat screamed, as the car went flying over the road bump!
~
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"No! It's a demonic flying car! And it's heading this way! AAAHHHHH!"
Tatsuhiko Aota the judo-man ignored the silly bickering outside the paintshop and sighed as he carried buckets of paint.
"This job is so boring, but I need the money. I wish I could just see my beautiful Haruko," he said, and turned around.
His wish came true! He saw Haruko! She was coming closer, and closer, and closer!
But wait, she was in a car, and-- screaming?
WA-A-AH! Then he realised that Haruko was in a car, driven by some reckless driver, and the car is--
Aota quickly threw the buckets of paint up in the air and turned around to run.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! The different coloured paint had been splattered all over Rukawa's car.
And Aota was lying on the floor, with two tyre marks on his back.
~
"Now we're parking. So go slooow! And I mean SLOW!" ordered Ayako. Rukawa didn't look like he was dozing off on the steering wheel, but he didn't look like he was paying attention either.
The mercedes (which now had other colours besides its original shiney black colour) crashed on a lamppost, and went skidding towards a huge drain!
"SLOW! SLOW DOWN! BRAKES! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL MY AYA-CHHHAAAA- AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
The car was on the verge of falling down into the drain!
"REBOUND! REBOUND!" cried Mitsui franticly, as he felt the car rocking.
'Why isn't Rukawa paying attention?' wondered Haruko, as she used her brown eyes to scan Rukawa's expression.
"Rukawa is asleep with his eyes open!" she exclaimed, panicking.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" everyone in the backseat screamed, and Ayako took out her faithful paper-fan and starting whacking Rukawa.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
"What's going on?" Rukawa muttered, as he blinked. Finally! He was awake!
"Quick! Quick! Rebound! Rebound!" Mitsui cried.
Rukawa blinked. And blinked again.
"The car is going to fall into a drain you baka! Hit the accelerator!" cried Ryota.
Rukawa blinked. And blinked again. The car rocked.
"We're going to diiiiieee!!!" Ayako screamed.
"Oh, we're going to die," Rukawa muttered, sounding uninterested. His eyelids were about to droop, when it abruptly widened. "NANI?!"
The car zoomed out faster than the speed of light.
~
"Um, dad, I dented my Mercedes, can I get a Ferari instead?" Rukawa asked his dad on the phone. He could hear his dad choking on his food on the other side of the line.
Then he heard the phone was snatched by Mrs. Rukawa and she started yelling, 'What?! I told you to take good care of the car! How dare you do such a thing ... bla blah blah...'
"What would convince us to buy a new car for you!?" asked Mr Rukawa, snatching the phone from Mrs. Rukawa.
Rukawa whipped out a microphone and starts singing 'Ode To My Car'.
~
(In this brackets) = Haruko and Ayako singing
***song starts***
Ode To My Car
Here we go
Piece of shit car
I got a piece of shit car
That fuckin' pile of shit
Never gets me very far
My car's a big piece of shit
'Cause the shocks are fucking shot
And my seatbelt's fucking broken
I got to tie it in a knot
(It's a piece of shit)
I can't see through the windshield
'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack
And the interior smells real bad
'Cause my friend puked in the back
(It's a piece of shit)
(Piece of shit car)
Piece of shit car
(He's got a piece of shit car)
It sucks royal dick
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
100% crap
(Never gets him very far)
Oh fuck you car
It's got no CD player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(They can bite his ass too)
And I got no fuckin' brakes
I'm always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear "Hey, watch it asshole"
(You fuckin' piece of shit)
(Piece of shit car)
I got piece of shit car
(He got a piece of shit car)
Diesel gas sucks my ass
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
That pile of metal shit
(Never gets him very far)
Oh what the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
To get stuck with you
You're too wide for drive-thru
And you smell like the shoe
But I'm too broke to buy something new
Oh fuck me
Well the engine likes to flood
The car always fuckin' stalls
And the seat cushion's got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls
(Ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are busted
I gotta use a fucking coat hanger
(What a pain in his ass)
And if a girlie sees my car
There's no chance I'll ever bang her
(He never ever gets da pussy)
Hey shut up
(Piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(You got a piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(Piece of shit car)
Bald fuckin' tires
(You got a piece of shit car)
No rearview fucking mirror
(Piece of shit car)
Seven different colors
(You got a piece of shit car)
Fucking rag for a gas cap
(Piece of shit car)
Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
Oh the whole town thinks I'm a loser
(You got a piece of shit car)
Cabby give me a push
(Piece of shit car...)
***end of song***
"STOP! STOP SINGING!" screamed Mrs Rukawa. "We'll get you a new car! I hate it when ****ing people use ****ing foul words! I don't want my ****ing son speaking ****ing language! All those ****ing people should go to h*ll!"
~
Two days later....
Rukawa got a new car!
Shiney,
Immune to damage,
And most of all! It's
....
A toy car!
(End!)