When Ever You Come Around
Every time she kisses me, I freeze, trapped in the moment. But I am not trapped against my will; I am instead a very willing captive of my heart. My body freezes every single time, even though we've been together for five years, it's still a shock to feel her lips pressed against mine. She's amazing, you know. Makes the whole damn world spin, while I stand back, amazed by her power over them, over me, over everything and everyone she touches. She's like a Goddess... except Goddesses are rarely Buddhist.
It feels almost like December. My brothers and I would always have a snowball fight on the first snowfall of December, often George and Fred teamed against Ron and I. We still play, and the twins still tease me about it. "Even at five years old, we knew our dear sis played for the other team," and the like are still frequently heard out of the two of them. They may be three years older than me, but they still act all of four. Just the other day, we were all out for dinner, and Fred casually asked Cho: "Our sis's got you by the panty strings, eh?" I had the strongest urge to hit him then, but was distracted by the look on Cho's face. She was trying hard to look embarrassed and shocked, but wound up just giggling at my brother and nodding her head. She laughs like... like... no one I've ever heard before. Like music to my ears, it is.
My thoughts drift back to the present as my body warms and the shock passes. Where before I felt stiff, I feel lose, weak in the knees and in the heart. It's a wonder I manage to stand. I reach for her, putting my arms around her for both support and... something of a need. A need to feel her, I mean. Part of me still thinks it's all a dream and I will awake, lonely and cold, on the floor in the Chamber of Secrets. Even if it's only a dream, I wish to enjoy this as much as I can. You only live once, even if your deity of a lover is immortal.
She whispers in my ear, and I wonder why. Everything I need to know is right in front of me, and I've memorized it all. I know every curve, plain, crevice... every part of her... how to make her as weak as she makes me.
There's a song on the wireless, something I only faintly recognize, but Cho seems to love. Gently she takes my hands, beginning to lead me into this slow, lover's dance. My mother always told me to humor boys, allow them to think they're in control, but... don't become some man's plaything, a toy or trophy. "Give crowns and pounds and guineas, but not your heart away," she says. It's much too late for that though. My heart is long gone, I gave it to the most wonderful witch in the world, and she wears it on her sleeve. I let her lead.
She dances ridiculously, as if no one would ever recall or even notice if she made a fool of herself. Like she always says, "Do not fear dying, fear not having lived." Whatever makes her happy, I suppose. One thing is for sure, someone's getting dance lessons, for Christmas, Buddhist or no. It makes me think of our first Christmas together. My gift to her was my heart, as well as a locket. George, who had drawn her name that year, had gotten her a t-shirt: "You Little Princess is My Little Whore." It's alright though, the next year I drew his name. He got a box of condoms. Size extra small.
"I lie awake at night... Wishing you were mine." she croons along, singing the lines, one by one. I can tell she felt what I've felt before we were together.
I match her voice: "I feel so helpless, I feel just like a kid. What is it about you... Makes me keep my feelings hid?" She smiles, happy I approve of her singing.
She kisses me and the cycle repeats itself all over again.
"I get weak in the knees. And I lose my breath. Oh, I try to speak, but the words won't come. I'm so scared to death. And when you smile that smile The world turns upside down... Whenever you come around."