Hey guys, its me with another little story. I think it will be a one shot, but if you want me to continue I will. I do not own kickin' it or any of the characters. Please review. I want to know if you guys like it, and if I should continue it.
Kim's Point of view
I love him. But he loves Donna. Every time he comes to me and talks about Donna I smile and pretend to be happy for him. I pretend that I don't love him. The words I never tell him I bury deep inside of me, and let it hurt me. It hurts a little bit more than the previous time when he kisses her. When he tells her he loves her. And he really does love her. Every time he comes to me smiling to tell me about his and Donna's date, I pretend that I'm happy. But when I go home from karate practice I let the tears fall behind a closed door. I let the tears fall, because he's the one I love. He's the one that Makes me smile and get those little butterflys in my stomach. I had my chance. And I missed it, He found someone better. Game over. But it hurts hiding what I really feel. I love him but he loves another, and that hurts. I don't want to accept it but I have to. I don't want to fall in love again because I know that he will leave me. Just because I smile when he brings up Donna in one of our conversations doesn't mean I'm happy. But I guess its better that I'm alone, because if I loved someone else, I would just be broken hearted again. I'm always asking myself: Why am I so afraid to lose Jack, if he's not even mine? He never was. I sit down and I let the tears fall. I let all the pain come rushing back all over again. I don't know why we love if it just breaks us in the end. Love is a sick game that nobody ever wins. So why do we try if we can't win? I sit down on my bed and I cry into my pillow. I scream, and let all of the pain of losing you come out. I let the pain swallow me because I know that it will just tear me down. It always will. I say it doesn't hurt, but it does. When he sees my face puffy in the morning, I say I'm fine. But I'm not. I guess you can say I'm afraid of love. Im the kind of girl who is always smiling and loves to laugh. If you are falling down, I will be there to pick you up.I am the one that always says sorry, even if it isn't my fault. I am the girl that is afraid of love because i have already lost too much. But when I feel down, there is no one to pick me up. There is no one to make me feel just the slightly bit better because no one knows what its like. No one knows because I can't tell them. I guess you could say its like, every time I see him its like I day a little bit more. I break a little bit more. He doesn't know I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him because he wouldn't care. What am I suppose to do when the person who broke my heart is the only person that can fix it. But I'm the kind of person who paints a smile on their face and walks away. Its hard to love someone who you know will never love you back. But I guess thats what makes it hurt. I always thought that maybe, someday, that you would love me. But you won't and you never will. I finally fall into a deep slumber.
When I wake up in the morning I go through my daily routine. I pick out my clothes witch consist of: A pink top that says trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met. Some dark black skinny jeans and some black and purple converse. Once I got dressed I put on some lip gloss. Once I'm don't getting ready, I head downstairs to grab an apple and walk out the door. When I walk out I see Jack holding Donna's hand, and they are laughing and talking. I have nothing against Donna. It's just that Jack loves her and not me. I grab my skateboard and ride to school. Once I get there, I go to my locker and grab my math and science book. I then see Jack walk over here and go to the locker aside of mine. He then turns to me and ask how my evening was. I tell him it was great, then turn around and whisper everything.(A/N It's just an expression. she just lets a tear slip down her cheek. she doesn't really whisper anything.) He looks at me, and looks at me like he knows its not true, but decides not to question it. I then grab my books, and run to first period. He doesn't have this class with me, which I'm thankful for. I go to my seat in the back and get out a sheet of paper. I start doodling on it while the teacher goes on and on about x and its value. I think about my life and about Jack, and I let some more tears escape my eyes. I then get another sheet of paper out and start to write a song. No one knows, but I like to right songs. When the class ends this is what I wrote:
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Tears and Rain.
Tears and Rain.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
I then look at the lyrics I wrote and figure out a tune for them. I reread them and think of how much they describe my predicament. I wish that Jack did love me but, thats the thing. I'm mixing up a dream with reality. The rest of the day passes by rather quickly, and I walk out side. I see that its raining so I decide to walk. I walk slow and let some tears fall, but thats why I love the rain. No one can see me crying, nobody can see just how torn I am. Nobody can see that I'm broken. I continue my journey home, while thinking about everything. Once I'm home I go to my room and cry. I let the world know how broken I am. I go to my room and think that maybe, just maybe he will change. He has just about forgotten all about me. Give him another year and he won't even remember who I was.
1 Year later
It's senior year, and I still love Jack. But he is still with Donna. He left me after he was dating Donna for about four months. Now I look back and I still cry. I am still broken. But I guess he's the reason I don't believe in love any more. I don't think its possible to find the person you love because they all hurt you. I always won't to tell him all these terrible things because he left me. But when I see him, I just want to say I miss you. It hurts that i realized he was Everything to me, but I was Nothing to him. I wish that I had never met him because then their would be no need to want him. No need for loving him. No need for crying over him. No need for heart break. No need for the pain or tears he caused. No need for crying myself to sleep every night. No need for acting like I don't care. No need for acting like it doesn't hurt, acting like it doesn't tear me apart. He hurt me, but I still love him. And I always will.
Did you guys like it? If you think I should continue please let me know. Please review if you think I should write more things like this. Tell me what you thought through a review. It will only take a minute.