Living in a world so cold
The air was full of dark colored clouds which had given the Snow Country it's famous gloomy landscapes. This was the first time he visited the frozen lake. His mind was clouded with thoughts about how things would be if they still were alive.
Obito would be standing right in front of me, most likely with some lame excuse for his usual tardiness. His sensei? He will be standing a few miles away from the group with a plastered grin on his face combined with a observant look. The same look he worn in the heat of the battle, when every other would lost his cool. Minato- sensei never looked afraid of anything. Secretly he was a big role model for him, but he never showed a glimpse of be wonderment. And then the less striking member of team 7 Rin. She was the centre of the team. Always concerned about 'her' boys and the most responsible member.
At the age of 13 he had experienced far more than any other child from the same age. He had seen war in its most terrible state. He remembered the empty houses, the trampled bodies of acquaintances and the amount of spilled blood.
'What are you doing here?'
Awfully aware of the appearance behind him he quickly stood back from his crouching position. He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and took a slouching position. 'Ah Sakura, This a kind of funny story you see. I was just on my way to meet you and Naruto, but a old lady..'
'Enough of this! Sheesh Kakashi, your excuses are lame.' She said with a sign. Furthermore nobody would believe you on that tone.'
A silver eyebrow rose up on this response. 'O no? Naruto definitely believed me last time'
She decided not to answer instead she took the last step towards him.
'How long are you here?'
He winced through the way her words were voiced. The words sounded strained as if she doubted to speak them out loud. Is she afraid for my answer? Carefully he watched her body language. Stiff shoulders, eyes down casted and a rigid composure.
'Sakura'
He didn't get her attention right away. Hm I am wondering what she is thinking. And why is she so insecure around me? Used to be she was so care-free.
Lightly he touched her chin with his hand. Her eyes quickly found his. The worried glance she gave him was enough to tell she wasn't comfortable. Her eyes turned into the distance before she said ' I am here to check up on you. She sighed 'you disappeared right after dinner. I.. was worried.'
The last word was quietly pronounced even with his hearing he had trouble to catch the word.
She was definitely nervous. A simple look could tell you that. Should I ease her? That's probably the best way to avoid further complications.
Hesitatingly he reached to her face again and stroke her hair softly. The small contact developed shivers.
'Are you cold?' he shrugged out of his jounin sweater and tied it around her slender shoulders.
The gesture meant to be innocent. The look on Sakura's face told otherwise. He watched her deep in the eyes, the emotions were on the surface. Her expressive eyes told him everything in a blink, he could read her as an open book. The passing emotions confused the hell out of him. Her face was twisted in an expression of restraint, anxiety and a glimpse of sadness.
'Sakura, you aren't afraid of me, are you? '
His voice was giving him away. He did his best to stay indifferent. The pink haired girl caught the wavering edge on his tone. Uncertain she answered his penetrating gaze with blushing cheeks. She opened her mouth, closed it and opened it again.
Suddenly she saw him making teleport signs, worried that he would run away she did a attempt to grasp his wrist. She was too late an empty feeling surrounded her. Until she was pulled back against a hard body, strong arms were circling her waist.
'Why are you afraid? I would never hurt you.' He whispered in her ear.
'Kakashi! ' the relieved, light tone betrayed her feeling.
I- I know you wouldn't hurt me. I was afraid you would left me and Naruto. Just like Sasuke did once.'
the logical part of his brain began to work. When he thought back about his behavior from the last months he understood her suspicions.
It was careless to think they wouldn't notice the change in my behavior. I have to put this right. They don't deserve to be dragged along into my depression. I have fucked it up..
He turned her around in his embrace and pressed her form harder into his chest. An exclamation of surprise was her reaction. Puzzled she met his charcoal eye.
'I'm going to tell you something very important, and I want you to keep it in mind. Understood?'
Confusion took her into his hold, she didn't know how to answer so she gave him a simple nod.
'Do you remember the last two months?' – it was a rhetorical question and he didn't wait for an answer.
' I was selfish.. The day he left some part of me snapped. I didn't take Sasuke serious and due my aloofness this all happened.'
His face was scrunched in pure guilt. His student didn't like this one bit .
'Kakashi' she spoke gently ' this isn't your fault. Sasuke was driven by pure hatred. Nobody could stop him even if you had taken him serious. Some things are unavoidable.'
'No Sakura, I was your sensei I should have seen the signs. And don't you dare to deny this. It's the blunt truth' he said with a final tone.
'You are pathetic, Kakashi. Really.'
An angry glint appeared in his eye. 'Sakura, don't have the guts to tell me what I am.' His tone was threatening.
From experience she knew it wasn't a clever move to piss him off. But he gave her no choice. The next move was dangerous and should be planned subtle.
She straighten her body and broke free from the tight embrace. Sarcastically she raised her eyebrow and look him into his eye.
'Who would have thought that the mighty Sharingan wielder is actually a depressive coward?'
A hiss told her she went too far nevertheless she carried on.
'you hardly deserve that eye. I bet the original owner would turn around in his grave from shame.'
That was the last straw. Her arms were tightly gripped.
'Goddamned, Sakura.. enough is enough! He shouted with a suppressed anger.
She went too far.. he never had used that voice against her. A sob formed through her sore throat her body slumped in his hold. She hadn't the courage to look up, her nerves were killing her inside. The ground has never been so interesting. Noticing the sound of movement, she still was afraid to show the raw emotion displayed on her feature. Standing silently across from his former team mate he observed her actions intently.
What the hell was this suppose to mean? Earlier she scolded him for – kami knows what – and shouted about things she hadn't any idea of. And now.. she was sobbing. What do I have to do with this for fake sake he thought with a slight angry feeling.
He took a second to collect his calmness. Things would get out of hand if he acted angry with her, she looked wounded enough. 'Sakura' he said gently.
The mentioned girl tried to escape his grip, she panicky looked for a way out. He held the girl tighter, pulled her into his chest and whispered in her ear ' You haven't to be afraid of me, Sakura. I would never hurt you, you know that right?'
He was surprised by her answer 'I know that. I'm really sorry for what I yelled. I completely understand if you would disbanded me from team 7.'
Utter astonishment was all what was written over his face. It took a little effort to stay indifferent, nevertheless the displayed emotion disappeared under his reserved façade before the pink headed konouchi lifted her head. He gasped for breath inwardly. The tormented eyes that were fixating on everything except him.
Was she so uncertain about her place in team 7? Or was this about her lacking of skills in the past missions? Sure she got more distracted by the day, but that wasn't a reason for this anxiousness. Something must have occurred while the departure of the Uchiha and my absurd behavior. He knew that asking directly would set her on edge. Maybe a mind game?
'Sakura?' The soft tone made her look up even though she tried not to look straight into his eye. 'Would you mind looking at me?'
Her relaxed face became frowned again. Very smart Kakashi. But she did what he said. He was planning his next move of approaching her without making the situation painfully. 'Listen, I know that-
'SAKURA!' an orange flash speeded right towards her and gave her a bone crushing hug. 'You know what?' began the blond haired enthusiastically. Over Naruto's shoulder she picked up the brief disappointed look.
She wanted to say something. Kakashi was for once glad for the bad timing of the clueless blonde. 'Yo Naruto.'
Naruto turned around and greeted his old sensei with a wide smile. 'Oi! Didn't see you there old man.' The indifferent jounin normally wouldn't pay attention to his student, but calling him a old man gone way too far. His eyebrows narrowed and his dimples appeared. Sakura recognized the sadistic hidden grin.
'Why don't you get inside, Naruto?' she tried.
Wha? But I'm just here and wait a minute. His eyes widen. 'Ah I see'
The explanation she expected stayed out. 'You what?' She shifted in her stance and tried to look patiently. But failed miserably.
'You guys! Why don't you told me?' Hysterically he waved with both hands.
Forgetting his previous ideas for the insult the blonde made a moment ago, Kakashi began to wonder as well what the idiot came up with. It was a bit out of character to ask straightaway.
''Naruto, I was showing Sakura over here some information that could be useful in the future' His hidden grin couldn't be bigger by seeing the confused glance from the pink haired and the sudden realization.
'Ah it is a new jutsu? Can you teach me, Sensei! I bet it some ultra mega super cool jutsu. One which I wiped my enemies away with a few hand signs'.
The rounded eyes from Naruto let him almost feel sorry for what he was planning to say now. Almost.
'Exactly I don't thought you are from that side, Naruto. You are really the most suprising ninja I know'.
'Err… are we talking about the same thing?''
'Kakashi, don't you dare to come up with what I think you are going to say.' A fist greeted his face.
'Ah a threat, how nice of you. You know that I can't ignore your utterly social sign.' Silence