I just have a lot of feelings, okay?! afheoiafnlksdfjalskdjf;aldj
Bleach owned by Tite Kubo.
Ulquiorra, how are you? I hope you're well…
I could be better.
It's hard.
I hate how life is demanding, expecting, yelling at me to "Come on, Orihime! Keep your chin up and keep moving! Go with the flow!" How could it do that to me? I'm not ready.
I still see you in everything. I don't know if you're actually there… but I force myself to feel you, sense you, personify you. I'm completely shattered inside, and believing that you're "watching over me" or something ridiculous like that somehow keeps me steady. A sudden breeze washes over and I automatically think "Ulquiorra…", or a bird takes flight from a treetop and I know it's you departing for someplace better.
At least I pretend, there's no way for me to know for certain.
…
Ulquiorra? Can you hear me? Did you leave a piece of you here on my shoulder to accompany me for the dark days to come? Did you even expect for me to feel so empty at your passing?
It's like I'm hollow inside, a monster that can never be satisfied, utter void. Is this how you felt, Ulquiorra? Did you suffer from this every day? Did I help you even a little, make you feel a little more whole, when you were living? I tried, I truly did… although it turns out I can't even save myself. But maybe it'll come with time… Will I forget you? Will you seriously just become some vague memory, mere fog? How can that happen when you mean so much?
…No, you will remain, always. I promise you that.
Or maybe you would want me to let go, to forget and live onward without looking back.
…
It's so quiet here. I'm about to head off to work. I'll suddenly be surrounded by the hustle-and-bustle of everyday life. There'll be people and streets and lights and sounds and time will be ticking and I'll be in it… I'll be a part of it all. Just thinking about it makes my head spin, and I haven't even left the house! It's like this isn't even reality anymore.
I'm still stuck in Hueco Mundo, I'm still frozen on the top of that tower watching you slip through my very fingers… Ha-ha, my hands are shaking just thinking about it!
…
God, oh dear God, Ulquiorra, I miss you so much. You'll be in my thoughts every second. I'll make believe you walking at my side and when I see a bird spread its wings it'll be you, Ulquiorra. It'll be you.
Sorry for the tears, excuse me! Ha-ha, now I know you don't want this!
…Is that you patting my head?
Ulquiorra…
Please guide me through today.
…
Thank you.