PERFECT HAIR FOREVER- The first story of Madness

WARNING!!!! Perfect Hair Forever is not for those with sanity.

CHAPTER 1: Beware of Coifio.

(ON A SPACE SHIP SOMEWHERE, AN OLD GUY WITH RAINBOW LIKE HAIR WAS PLOTTING SOMETHING.)

Coifio: Super deadly robot!!! Come to me.

(A small robot, in the style of those little Gundems flew up to him.)
Model Robot: Yes?
Coifio: We need to stop Gerald... my enemi...enem...anim...enemy. ODERWISE, I will send out... RADIOACTIVE HAIR!!!!

(A bunch of radio active hair bounces up near the robot.)
Model Robot: Yes sir, I shall get Catman. (The Robot starts to transform slowly.)
Coifio:AWWWW!!! Come on!!! This sucks... come on...

(After 5 minutes, the robot finally transformed into a rocket.)
Coffio: Finally.

Model Robot: Initializing 5 minute launch.

Coifio: Son of a bitch!! This sucks!!!(Coifio hops away, the robot then explodes.)

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(At Catman's litterbox house...)

(Catman is licking himself. Coifio then materializes into the living room, holding out a large communicator watch, which is

highly unnessecary.)

Coifio:(Talking into communicator.) Catman, do you read me?
Catman: Uhhhh... yeah.. I totally read you. (Continues licking self.)
Coifio: PREPARE THE ULTA..UTA..

(The robot lands in the living room, by busting through the ceiling.)
Model Robot: May I do the honor?

Coifio: Shut up, douche bag.

Model Robot: But...

Coifio: I said shut up, douche bag. Now... PREPARE THE ULTIMATE LASER DEVICE OF DOOM!!!

(The laser device busts through the ceiling and lands on Coifio.)
Coifio:CRAAPPPP!!!!

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(At a weird looking house, with the top slanted...)
(Uncle Grandfather was enjoying a banana.)
Uncle Grandfather: Ohhhh... yes this is good... shanananana.

(The door knocks.)

Uncle Grandfather: Come in...

( A police man comes in.)
Policeman: Grandfather?

Uncle Grandfather: Yes?
Policeman: You're under arrest.

Uncle Grandfather: Ahhh... yes... come... bun...

(Suddenly a giant hotdog bun appeared and chased the policeman around. After about 40 seconds of chasing, the hot dog ate the policeman.)
Uncle Grandfather: HAHAHAHA!!! What idiot... Trashman.

(A large trashcan hops into the room.)
Trashman: Yes?
Uncle Grandfather: Go... get me... some hamburgers... my bald nephew is about to be killed.

Trashman: Really.

Uncle Grandfather: Yes... really. (Trashman leaves.) MEGA POWERS!!! (Uncle Grandfather levitates toward the roof, but is knocked back by the ceiling.) Shanananana. Brenda... I have back problem...

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(Meanwhile, at the base of Tuna Mountain...)

Gerald: We must climb Tuna Mountain.

Norman: YEAH!!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!?

Hot Dog: Do the LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!

(Suddenly, the area becomes dark, and Rod the Anime God appears.)
Rod: Hey, man... want to smoke a joint?
Gerald: Who are you?
Rod: I'm Rod... the anime god.

Twisty: Rod the Anime God?
Rod: That's right... Rod the Anime God. Now... you want to smoke this thing... because I sorta need the money...

Gerald: Uhhh... no... I have a quest.. to get perfect hair forever.

Rod: That's right... you're bald...very bald.

Gerald: Don't remind me.

Rod: Do you want to smoke this?
Norman: SURE!!! (Starts smoking the joint.)
Rod: Give me $40.

(Suddenly, a giant radioactive stereo smashes Rod.)

Gerald: That was strange.

Twisty: What isn't?
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(At the CONVIENIENT STORE...OF DEATH!!!!)

(Catman is licking himself.)

(Coifio hops up to the counter.)
Coifio: Hello, Catman.

Catman: Hey... what do you want, man?

Coifio: We need to buy wadio...wadio...wedio...weta...plutonium induced materials, so I may stop

my enema...enima...anim...eneam...enemy.

Catman: Uhhhhhhhh...suree... over there, aisle 5.

Coifio: Thank you...

(Hops out of view, and buys some hazerdous materials.)
(Hops back to the counter.)
Coifio: Here you go. (Suddenly, a car crashes into Coifio.)

(Coifio flies out of view.)
(The giant hotdog bun, mentioned earlier in this story, appears behind the wheel.)

Coifio: Why did you do that... ass hole!!! MODEL ROBOT!!!

(The Model Robot busts through the ceiling.)
Model Robot: What's up, baby?
Coifio: Destroy this bun!!
Model Robot: Transforming into a laser, baby.

(Model Robot slowly transforms into a laser.)
Coifio: COME ON!!!! Why does this take forever!!! This sucks.

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(At Uncle Grandfather's house...)

Uncle Grandfather: I have a feeling, a crossover is about to commence...

(Shows Uncle Grandfather with a vaccum cleaner, and a cake, trying to make a pornography.)
Uncle Grandfather: But nevermind that. Come on baby... (Tries to make the vaccum cleaner hump the cake.) Shanananana... You like that...

bun-nu-nu-nu...

(Tries to make the cake hump the vaccum cleaner.)
Uncle Grandfather: Yes... "R" rated...
(The telephone rings...)
(After about 5 seconds, Uncle Grandfather answers the phone.)
Uncle Grandfather: Herro?
(Coifio is on the other line.)
Coifio: HEY MAN!!! HAHAHA!!!
Uncle Grandfather: Ohhhh... God... it's you.

Coifio: YEAH!!!!!

Uncle Grandfather: What do you want?
Coifio: I just wanted to tell you that I'm making a trap for your son.

Uncle Grandfather: No...no... you retard... I don't have a son.

Coifio: HAHAHAHA... wait, you're serious?
Uncle Grandfather: I'am, you retard. What trap?
Coifio: I'm going to send you're... guy... to another dimension.

Uncle Grandfather: Gerald is my nephew... my bald nephew... bald-a-nam...bald-a-nam-a-nim-nom.

Coifio: Really?
Uncle Grandfather: Really.. now shut up. (Hangs up.)

Coifio: That was interesting.

(Coifio was on his ship, while the aeronautic cat works on the dimension portal.)

Aeronautic Cat: MEOW!!

Coifio: Yes aeraa...earo...aura...space cat, we will drop it on the earth.

(Suddenly, Rod the Anime God appears on deck.)
Rod: Hey man...

Coifio: What do you want?
Rod: I'm just...chillin'... ya know?

Coifio: No... not really.

Rod: Pssstt... want to buy a computer... that was used..

(Pulls out a Sinclair.)
Coifio: No... not really...

Rod: Come on, it holds up to 2 megabytes.

Coifio: No...

Rod: Please... I need the money to pay off... something...

Coifio: I don't care HOW much money you need... I'm not paying... retard.

(Rod sneezes, launching the ship.)

Rod: SORRY!!!

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(Meanwhile, at Gerald's quest...)

Gerald: We have been walking for days, and the top of Tuna Mountain is still far away.

Hot Dog: LALALALALALA!!!

Gerald: I have no idea what you said.

Norman: WHOO HOO!!!!!
Hot Dog: La la la la...

Norman: LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

(Suddenly Coifio's ship lands on Norman.)
Norman: DAMN IT!!!!

(Coifio hops out.)
Coifio: Herro, young Gerald... my aneme...anemas...emenias...amm... enemy.

Gerald: You are Coifio...

Coifio: Of course I am... we MET.. dumb ass!!

Gerald: Oh.. yes.. the motorcycle competion.

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: Fine... lets go with what you said. SPACE CAT!!! NOW!!! (The Aeronautic cat lifts up the large portal, which is a rip of a Stargate. The Aeronautic cat drops the portal on Gerald, and his party.) HAHAHAHA!!!!
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(At Uncle Grandfather's house...)
Uncle Grandfather: Hmmmm, I think Coifio did it... Gerald will now be in horrible danger... awww he'll be okay.

(Tries to continue the cheesy pornography.)

Uncle Grandfather: Yeah... do that thing. (Uncle Grandfather turns aroud, only to relise that he forgot to get the camera.) Crap...

(Runs off to get the video camera.)

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(Meanwhile... Animal Guy was driving in the car, with all the animals bunched up inside.)
Animal Guy: Come on, animals, we need to get to Grandfather's house, and tell him I lost the hamburger necklace... and my hand.

Monkey: Hey, if you lost a hand, how can you drive.
Animal Guy: OH MY STARS!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!
(Crashes into a shark.)
Giraffe: Great... now I'm hungry.

Monkey: Me too...

Animal Guy: STOP IT ANIMALS!!! It was a miracle enough to get that car out of that ditch.

Bear: How did you do that anyway?
Animal Guy: I don't know, it just happened.

Giraffe: Come on, man, I'm hungry!!!!!
Animal Guy: Great...

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The First chapter... review!!!!!!!

(And read the warning up there... this story may cause you to lose sanity.)