I guess I never realized what had happened. The Revolution had turned me into something I never thought I could become. I realized that all that bloodshed, all that hate, eventually made me indifferent to anything of that sort, to people's emotions. I realized that I could not love anymore. Those around me feared my temper, learned from my terrible dictator boss. I was a monster, beating those in my care senseless until they lost consciousness. Somehow, I knew, that I had become a beast.
I smirked as I shoved the defeated Ludwig aside, smiling contently at seeing him in such a state, his uniform tattered, his precious armband in shreds, his face bloodied. I kicked him in the ribs and knelt to look at him.
"Well, if it isn't mister mighty backstabbing Third Reich…" I teased, kicking him again, harder. He sputtered and lay on his side, clutching his stomach.
"Look, I am sorry about that…we both know it vas not us but our bosses ja? J-just let me go…bitte! My boss is as good as dead! Let me go!" It felt so good to see him so defeated. He had stabbed me in the back and he damn well knew it. I picked him up by his shirt and brought him close.
"Listen to me," I hissed. "You should have known better than to trespass on Soviet lands, especially after what you did to me you asshole. Now that the Allies have won, I can take you, and we have decided to split you up between us! Keep in mind that I will be fighting for a biiiiiig chunk kroshka," I smiled as I threw him onto the ground. "You are my prisoner!" I yelled, laughing a bit.
"Stop! Leave him alone!" I heard a voice cry. I spun around and saw Ludwig's brother, Gilbert, running towards me, equally in tatters from the war they had just lost. "T-take me instead!" He panted. I stared at the mess before me. He looked like he even had a few broken bones. He looked more disheveled and depressed than Ludwig himself. I almost took pity on him. I kicked Ludwig again before approaching the beaten mess.
"You?" I grinned. "Listen, it is touching what you do for your little brother, but what have you got to offer? You are near death and it looks like-"
"Just take me instead. Spare my brother and take me! " He was trying to look brave, but his scarlet eyes remained wide and scared. I hate people who fear me for no reason, I though. I sighed and took Gilbert's wrist.
"Fine, but only because I pity you…" I grumbled. I dragged him away and watched Ludwig cry for his brother.
"Gil please you don't have to do this! I vill take my punishment! I deserve it! Bitte Gil don't go! GILBERT COME BACK!" He was making an attempt to stand up and chase after Gilbert but he fell back to his knees, sobbing, his face buried in his hands. I smiled deviously and swung Gilbert over my shoulder. Surprisingly, he accepted his fate and did not put up too much of a fight. I could see him fighting off the urge to cry, but he just slumped and looked at the ground.
"Asshole…didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye…" He said, tears forming in his eyes.
"Oh suck it up…you are my prisoner now…" I threw him in my T-34 tank and rolled over the dilapated German countryside, back to my house, a sense of pride in my chest. I won, I thought. This one's all mine.
"Oh sir! You are home! W-welcome!" Toris greeted me at the door with a fake, comforting smile.
"Go to hell…" I grumbled. I was dragging Gilbert along like some sort of pet. He looked around my castle, scared.
"You freak, you live in a fucking castle?" He muttered. I pulled on his arm.
"You got a problem with it?" I hissed. He quickly shook his head and looked down. I felt sorry for him. I wanted to let him go, but we had a deal. He would stay, his precious little brother would go free. I was not going to let all of that land taken from me and all of those people die in vain. "Da I live in this castle. My bosses decided it was best if I stayed in near isolation for a while…" You see, when the imperial family died, the priest, Rasputin put a curse on me. He said that since I could not love the Romanovs enough to spare them, I would not be able to love again unless I learned how to. This quickly turned me into a bitter man, with a short temper, quick to fits of rage and violence. It turned me into a beast. Luckily, Rasputin had not specified how long I had to find love , but I knew I had to find it fast. I wanted to tell him about the curse, then maybe then, he would take pity on me and help me break the curse. But no, he's a man, there's no way I could ever fall in love with him, I thought. I dragged him downstairs to one of the dungeons and threw him in the biggest one. "Stay here, welcome to the Soviet Union suka…" I grumbled. He looked up at me, with genuine fear in his eyes, but he quickly disguised it with a devious grin.
"Whatcha gonna do to me you big lump?" He said slyly. "There's not much left to do. All that my brother and I worked for is gone don't ya see? All gone…" He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "I guess I can live here…" he sighed. "It's hell of a lot better than the Gulag or the chair. I guess I could get used to this shithole…" He fell fast asleep, muttering to himself. I closed the dungeon door and locked it, feeling a bit sorry for him.
"Mister Braginski sir," I heard a trembling voice call. It was Toris, one of my dependencies, servants rather. I glared at him. He took a step back and sighed. "Well, since he is going to be with us for…awhile…then…do you not think it will be more fitting to give him a more comfortable dwelling?" He shut his eyes and shielded his face, anticipating a strike from my palm. I stared at him and sighed. I opened the dungeon door again and swung him over my shoulder again. Toris shook his head and signaled for me to put Gilbert down. I put him down with a grumble and shook him off.
"Toris will show you to your room upstairs, you should sleep better there…" I grumbled. He looked at me, confused and shrugged.
"Whatever, hey you got any beer?" He asked. I glared at him, letting a curse escape my lips. Toris trembled, hiding behind the calm-looking Prussian. I sighed and massaged my temples.
"In the ice-box, Toris, show him to the ice-box…" I turned around as they walked away. When they were out of sight I punched the stone wall and sighed. "Fucking Rasputin…did you ever say it had to be a woman?" I growled. I heard a familiar disembodied voice chuckle.
"Niet I never did. Do you think Gilbert could be the one to break the spell since you took pity on him?" It said. I punched the wall again and spun around to punch the source of the voice, then remembered I was talking to a ghost.
"Fuck you…pity does not equal love…" I sighed and made my way upstairs.
"Sir, would you not like to invite him to dinner?" Eduard stammered as I walked into the upstairs living room. I glared at him and shrugged, flopping down on the couch.
"And why would I do that?" I growled. He bowed in apology and nervously scurried away. People being so scared of me only angered me more. My older sister came up to me and sat next to me.
"V-vanya…please invite him to dinner! I do think that you may have a chance here at breaking the curse…" She was the only one allowed to address me by such a name. I sighed and glared at her.
"Fine…" I stomped upstairs to Gilbert's room and banged on the door. My sister hurried after me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Ivan please control your temper!" She snapped. I sighed and looked at her.
"Why? It's just dinner?" I pushed her off and knocked again.
"I AM NOT COMING OUT!" He yelled through the door. "LEAVE ME ALONE, I JUST LOST MY LITTLE BROTHER AND MY FREEDOM ALL IN ONE NIGHT!" I heard things falling and crashing, like he was throwing a tantrum.
"See he does not want to come out I give u-"
"KEEP TRYING!" She hissed. I sighed and kicked the door a few times.
"LISTEN HERE IDIOT, IF YOU DON'T COME OUT RIGHT NOW, I'LL STAB YOU THROUGH THE NECK WITH AN ICE PICK LIKE THEY DID TO FUCKING TROTSKY! NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT, THAT IS NOT A REQUEST!" He threw something glass at the door. My sister had to hold me back from opening the door.
"Just ask him already!" She said, strained from holding me back. I pushed her away and sighed.
"Would you please come to dinner with me?" I hissed. He threw something at the door again.
"FUCK YOU I AM NOT COMING OUT! EVER!" He yelled. I slammed my fist against the door.
"FINE! IF YOU DO NOT EAT WITH ME, YOU DO NOT EAT AT ALL!" I pushed my sister down and glared at her, furious. "SEE TO IT THAT HE STARVES IF HE REFUSES TO EAT DINNER WITH ME!" I growled before stomping back downstairs.
I slumped on the couch again, reading another one of my boss' stupid rants about five-year plans. Toris came into the room and sat down on the couch opposite from me. "Sir…please…look I have to ask you to consider what we have on our hands here, we could be free! You could take pity on him and learn to love him! If you do, then you will be free sir! Think about it!" I stared at him, thinking. Maybe he's right, I thought. Maybe I could break the curse. I sighed and looked at Toris.
"But…how? I do not know the first thing about him…what does he like? What does he not like? All I know is that he's some former Nazi. How can I love someone I barely know?" I was actually thinking about it. I had given up on anyone breaking the curse, I had accepted that the rest of my life would be lived alone and bitter with my dependencies in my big, old castle. Toris smiled a bit and got up.
"Sir, you have to learn to be nice all over again. Ever since the curse, you have forgotten how to be nice. First, try not to yell at people…try not to beat them either, also, try not to hit objects in fits of rage…try to avoid the fits of rage in the first place…" I was honestly taking in his every word. He's right, I thought. Maybe this guy can help me break the curse. I mean it's a bit farfetched, we barely met, but there was a shard of hope in my heart.
"Fine," I sighed. "I guess I will give it a shot, go and see what he likes, why the fuck not…" I half smiled at Toris in thanks and made my way back upstairs to Gilbert's room. I knocked on the door, softly this time. "Hey…um…Gilbert?" I said shyly. I found myself loosening up to him.
"Oh great, you're back. Listen you drunk, I am not coming out! Not at all! I think I'd rather starve than eat with the likes of you. You broke up me and my brother. I was stronger than you at some point but I guess I just-"
"Can we not talk politics and can you just get out here?" I sighed. There was nothing but silence for a while. I was about to leave when I heard the lock click and the door open. "Bout time you-"
"Get on with it what do you want?" He hissed. I tried to smile and looked at his sarcastic expression.
"Just…um…w-well…would you like to get some different clothes I mean your uniform is tattered and…err…well…" This being nice thing was making me blush. I looked at my shoes then back up at him. There was something so alluring about his garnet eyes and the way his lips curled into a sly smile.
"Your clothes are too big for me…" he muttered, in what seemed like a half-hearted attempt to insult me. I shook it off and shrugged.
"Da but…but…I mean if you want to we could go…I mean since you are my prisoner and you will be staying here a while I figured I might as well…" I stopped abruptly when I saw that he had no interest in what I was saying.
"See, I think I would like to keep the last piece of memorabilia of my little brother that I have dumbass…" He growled. I could see his eyes tearing up, the shining scarlet shade pronounced more with the tears. "So if you don't mind…I would like to at least keep the iron cross and the arm band…I mean that whole trusting our Nazi boss thing was a big mistake but…but…" He shook his head and looked down. Suddenly, he fell to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I did not know what to do. I finally worked up the courage to stoop to where he was and hold him, let him sob in my arms. It felt good, for a while, holding someone, comforting them. I felt something tug at my heart, as if it was feeling something for once in so many years. He realized what I was doing and pushed me away. "Mein Gott you would think an asshole like you would have the sensitivity to realize that I am going through something before raping me!" He yelled. I stood, up, tears in my eyes, and went silently downstairs.
"There's no way I will ever love you, you're hopeless…" I muttered, using every ounce of willpower within me to hold back the tears. I ran to my room and buried my face in my pillow, crying silently into it. I never showed emotion, not since the curse. "I suppose this is what emotion feels like" I muttered. "It feels like shit, I liked it better when I couldn't feel anything…" I fell asleep, crying and thinking. Why did his words hurt me so much? Did I feel guilty about taking him instead of Ludwig? Did I feel like I actually had a chance and was hurt because he crushed it? Could it be, that I was so fond of him, I actually cared about his opinion?