Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, Scott Fellows does! I wish I did though. I kinda cried while writing this. Love you all! Review! I don't feel like putting a smiley.
I pace back and forth in my bed room. Thinking about the one girl that drives me crazy. The problem is that we always fight. Like seriously, it's the same old drama every night. I'm starting to worry about this. About her.
"Camille!" I say. She ignores me.
"Camille!" I say again and she walks even faster.
"Camille" I catch her.
"Oh, hey Logie," she says innocently.
"Don't "Oh hey Logie" me," I mimicked her voice.
"What are you talking about?" she asks.
" We need to talk."
Lately, she keeps causing problems and we get into fights. Even about dumb things.
"Selena Gomez is the best actress ever!" Camille says. "But I can beat her," she says and smiles.
"Um... actually, I think Demi Lovato is a better actress," I say.
"NO! SELENA IS MUCH BETTER!"
"Camille, I was just expressing my opinion."
"YOU DON'T EXPRESS ANY THING TO ME!"
"Camille..."
"BYE DUDE!"
I sigh. I look in the mirror. I stay true to myself. I'm Hortense Henry Mitchell. My friends call me Logan. I am 18 years old. I am in a band called, "Big Time Rush". I have a girl friend. Her name is Camille Roberts. She's an actress. She had feelings for me since we first met 3 years ago. She's crazy but I love her.
She's overly dramatic these days. But not the good kind. What happened to her? We haven't been talking ever since we had that talk after the party.
"Camille, you can't just leap on every girl that tries to ask me out. You know I would turn them down," I say.
"I was protecting you. From other girls who want to steal you away from me,"
"I can handle it myself. I'll turn them down nicely like a real gentleman would."
"NO! I need to protect you Logie. Holly wood girls are too much to ask for."
"You're saying that you don't trust me?"
"Oh, yeah and once we wanted to hang out with each other and then you asked out Peggy."
"WE WEREN'T EVEN DATING! WE BROEK-UP!"
"IT STILL COUNTED! Cause...I still liked you then."
"Oh, and then you just suddenly went out with Steven."
"CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME THEN."
"Says the girl who said I was cheating on her when we BROKE UP."
"UH, whatever!" Camille says as she storms away.
I get my photo album and start looking through the pictures. Me as a baby, me and the guys during 3rd grade, family pictures, first time on the hockey team, my birthday, the time when I baked apple pie with my mom, a pic from 3 years ago when we got here and...numerous pics of Camille and I when we were together. My heart dropped when I saw a picture of Camille and I on our first date.
I knock on the door to apartment 4J. The door opens to reveal a lovely girl with curly brown hair in a blue dress.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey, Camille," I smile.
"So, are you ready?" she asks.
"Yeah, are you?" I tease.
"Yup," she laughs.
"I brought you these," I say with a smile as I give her flowers.
She sniffs the flowers. "Aww, roses. My favorite," she smiles, yet again.
"You have a wonderful smile," I say.
She smiles again. I would do anything to make her smile. "Thank you."
"Shall we?" I say as I offer her my hand.
"We shall," she says and accepts my offer. We both smile to each other.
I just got my driver's license last week. I hop into the BTR mobile or it used to be Bitters' car with Camille. We drive to Chez Fancee. On the way, a song pops out from the radio.
"Oh My God! This is like my jam!" she exclaims.
I smile. We sang together to the lyrics of the song.
You know you love me, I know you care Are we an item? Girl, quit playin' And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh Baby, baby, baby, oh For you, I would have done whatever And I'm in pieces, baby fix me And I'm like baby, baby, baby, oh Baby, baby, baby, oh
Just shout whenever, and I'll be there
You are my love, you are my heart
And we will never, ever, ever be apart
"We're just friends," what are you sayin'?
Said "there's another," and looked right in my eyes
My first love broke my heart for the first time
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
And I just can't believe we're here together
And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' you
I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring
And just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dream
I'm goin' down, down, down, down
And I just can't believe my first love won't be around
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Then I rap and Camille just looks at me.
When I was 13, I had my first love She made my heart pound Baby, baby, baby, oh Baby, baby, baby, oh I'm all gone
There was nobody that compared to my baby
And nobody came between us who could ever come above
She had me going crazy, oh I was starstruck
She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks
I skip a beat when I see her in the street
And at school on the playground
But I really wanna see her on a weekend
She know she got me dazin' 'cause she was so amazin'
And now my heart is breakin' but I just keep on sayin'
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I'm all gone
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I'm all gone
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone
I'm gone
When the song ended, we laugh it off and went to dinner. We ordered our food and ate it while enjoying the live band. I held Camille's hand when the sung. We then danced while they jam another song. A slow one. I paid the bill and we went home. I sent Camille to her apartment.
"Well, this is it," she says.
"How was tonight?" I ask and smile.
"It was amazing, one of the best nights I've ever had, with you," she says and she kisses me and I kiss her back. I felt amazing during that kiss. It felt magical. Now I'm being a girl...Pshh...
She pulls away and there's that smile again, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," I smile as she leaves.
I know that this will be the start of something new.
"Dude," I get startled by my friend, Kendall.
"Oh, yeah, sorry," I ask.
"It's okay," he says, "So, you wanna play games with us?"
"I think I'll pass."
"Camille, isn't it?"
I nod.
"Dude, let me tell you something," he comes in and sits beside me. "Girls are like, referees in hockey. They call the shots and make sure everything is fair for the players. You and Camille are like an item in The Palm Woods. Even when you guys ever break up. They still say that "Camille is Logan's and Logan is Camille's, anything else is unthinkable". So, you just have to hold down your anger and just follow her."
"I know that," I smile. "But, now, she's overprotective of me, she thinks I'm gonna cheat on her at some point. But, she cheated on me with my own best friend," I sigh and look down.
"Well, I just want to let you know that….she loves you," Kendall holds my shoulder giving it a pat and leaves.
I lay down on my bed and think about what to do. Where is this relationship going? What is with her drama these past weeks? Do I love her? Does she love me? All the answers are….
I DON'T KNOW.
I don't know anything. I do know all about school and my career. But, I don't know about love anymore since I came here. Love Science can't explain anything this time. I painted the whole ceiling in the shade of dark blue and pasted fake stars, planets and the asteroid belt. Then, I see the big and happy Sun and the beautiful Moon.
I smile and note that I'm The Sun and Camille's my moon. We are miles and miles apart, but we do have some things in common. We love and care for each other. But….
We always fight. It's just the same old drama every night. It's like we're acting. That we are not really a thing. Just pretending for the crowd below. But, I'll still love her, no matter what.
"No matter what," I mutter.
I hum a tune and I start combining the words together. I go to my keyboard and start playing. I sing.
Curtains open up the scene, spotlight shine on you and me…..tonight,
Pretending for the crowd below, we put on a really good show…but it's a lie.
We can't help but cause a fight, it's the same old drama every night,
I walk off stage cause this whole play…..Is more that I can take…..
Yes, this is how Camille and I are going. I sigh and continue.
I don't want it to be over but we need a break before, you break my heart….
We can't live this scene forever,
Right now you and me are better, better off apart,
But, I'll still love you when the lights come up….
I think hard to find the right words.
I stop and put my keyboard down and get off my bed, I don't look at it. But, it felt right to express my feelings. The guys wouldn't understand my situation. Kendall has a perfect girl friend. James is a ladies' man. Carlos is just…. Carlos. I hold back my feelings and breathe in and out. I calmly walk back to my bed and continue my song.
I was one foot out the door, I can't play that part no more…..with you,
The chemistry just wasn't there,
I couldn't act like I didn't care….when I do, I do….
We can't help but cause a fight, it's the same old drama every night,
I walk off stage cause this hold play, is more than I can take….
I brush off my emotion and the chorus begins again….
I don't want it to be over but we need a break before, you break my heart….
We can't live this scene forever,
Right now you and me are better, better off apart,
But, I'll still love you when the lights come up,
For our intermission….
I let a tear slide on my cheek.
"Woah dude, nice song, didn't know that you were that emotional," Kendall interrupts, yet again.
I quickly wipe the tear off my face. "T-thanks. W-why are you here?" I stand.
"I came to check on you. I thought you'd brush that Camille thing off after I told you about you guys. You don't have to worry, bro," he says.
"Dude, you just don't understand. You have never got a girl like this. You always get the perfect girl. Especially Jo. I love her but I think we need a break, yet again. It's complicated and you'll never get it!"I practically yell. I sat down, well crashed my bed and crossed my arms like a 5 year old.
He sighs, "Maybe I don't, man. Maybe I do, I just don't know. I just want you to be happy," he walks over.
I didn't answer.
"Go tell her that you love her before anything happens."
I look at him, confused.
"Anything could happen. She's Camille plus this is Holly wood."
He continues, "She can be anything. Anything can happen in Holly wood."
I just wanna shove some rotten tuna down his throat for saying that. But, he's right. Kendall Donald Knight is smarter than me. In a way. He's better with life problems whereas I am better with math problems. He is a good brother.
I stand and hug Kendall and he gives me a reassuring pat on my back. "Go get her, tiger," he says.
I run down stairs and exit the apartment. My song is still playing in my head.
We're like actors in a play, living out our love on stage,
I get in the elevator and press 4.
You're just saying the same old lines, to me
I wait anxiously in the elevator.
Somewhere we fell off track,
I appear in front of her apartment. I knock and it's not her who answers…
It's her dad. "Mr. Roberts, do you know where Camille is?"
"Logan," he says. "She told me she was going somewhere. She didn't tell me where. "
"Thank you, Mr. Roberts," I say. He closes the door. I realized something, anything can happen in Holly wood. I ran.
But I know love will lead us back!
I ran down the stairs and I ran through the Lobby.
I don't want it to be over, but we need a break before, you break my heart.
I ran and ran through the street.
We can't live this scene forever, right now you and me are better, better off apart.
I ran to the shops.
But, I'll still love you when the lights come up,
I saw a big crowd of people.
But, I'll still love you when the lights come up, woaaaaaah!
I try to get through the crowd.
Baby I'm gonna love you when the lights come up.
I push more people.
I'm still gonna love you when the lights come up.
Urgh, get out of my way! I fight through.
Baby I'm gonna love you when the lights come up.
I see a lifeless body covered with blood. Police are around it. I kneel down in sorrow. My eyes are filled with tears.
I sang….
"For our intermission…."