Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice, much to my dismay. Boo.
-Cold-
"Natsume!" Mikan Sakura ran, her auburn pigtails bouncing, the curls at the tips furling and unfurling as she made a mad dash towards me.
I was ailing, leaned against the usual cherry blossom tree we killed time under. The tree I always frequented. I was bleeding profusely through various wounds, gritting my teeth from the pain.
Another mission that went unwell. I perked up my bobbing head as I heard the familiar high pitched wail growing closer. When I looked up, she was already walking up to me at a slow pace, staring at all the damage done. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she fell to her knees, her chocolate orbs staring into my crimson ones. I'm pretty sure the gleam from wanting tender affection was obvious, but I bit it back. My mouth processed everything differently. "What the hell do you want?" I questioned her icily. She twitched a little, but the resolve hadn't dissipated.
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
"Natsume…" Mikan lifted her hands to cup my face. She examined me, probably wishing she could make it all go away. That maybe she could help me shoulder the pain.
I watched as she ran a finger along my jaw line. I wanted to succumb and hold on to her tightly. I inhaled sharply.
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high
"Natsume…" Mikan whispered again. She continued to run her finger along the features of my face. She knitted the eyebrows, worried. The expression on my face, I could feel that it probably seemed pained. Her palm was rested against my cheek.
It's now or never. I have to get this over with.
"Don't touch me!" I slapped her hand away, looking at her with a scowl. She jumped back, confused. "Don't you ever put your hands on me!"
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold.
"What's wrong?" Mikan asked, taken aback by my outburst. "Did something happen during-"
"No. God, you're so nosy. So damn annoying."
To you, I'm sorry about all the lies.
I still felt the want. My stomach was twisting. I damned myself.
"This isn't the time for that Natsume! You're hurting!" Mikan yelled at me.
"This? It's nothing." I dismissed.
Mikan now furrowed her brows. "I don't mean only physically."
I glared at her. "I'm not weak. I'm not hurt. I'm fine."
"Sure, that's believable." Mikan said rather flatly. I flinched slightly.
Did she think I was weak?
Maybe in a different light
You could see me standing on my own again
Or…did she know that I was nothing without her?
"Don't talk about it like you know anything about me." The scowl was back on my face.
Cause now I can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
"Natsume dammit, what has gotten into you?!" Mikan was now frustrated, gripping the hem of her skirt to keep herself composed.
"You. You're annoying. Trying to change people aren't you? To be more like you? People don't change. It's hopeless. You're pathetic." I droned on.
Tears now freely fell from the brunette's eyes. I felt a pang on my heart. "Natsume? What's wrong? Why are you doing this?"
"Because…"
What I really meant to say
Is that I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
I never meant to be so cold.
"I want you to get out of my life." I demanded. Mikan began to tremble.
I never really wanted you to see
"Why…Why Natsume?!"
"Because I hate you."
The screwed side that I keep
"I hate your God damned guts."
Locked deep inside of me so deep
"So much, that I wish you could just disappear off the face of the earth. I wish you would just die."
It always seems to get to me
"You heard me, SAKURA. OUT!" I hollered, sparking a flame from underneath her.
Mikan jumped up, then stared at me, tears still pouring from her eyes. She hesitated, before running off.
I never really wanted you to go
"Bravo, Hyuuga." A voice sneered.
"Are you satisfied now, Persona?" I growled as I shifted. The tree was not providing any source of comfort to my bleeding back.
So many things you should have known
"Not quite." Persona mused, hopping off of a branch he was perched on and approached me, smirking. "I've no use for a dying kitten." Persona wrapped his finger around my wrist, slowly infecting me with his curse. "Now I am…" he let out a laugh before walking away, leaving me here to my demise.
I smirked and laughed dryly. "I deserve this much."
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
"I'm sorry… Mikan…" Slowly, I lost consciousness, letting myself slip to the side and onto the grass. If I was lucky, I'd die over night from blood loss.
What I really meant to say
Is that I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
My eye lids were heavy, but I managed to get them open. Guess I hadn't died yet. I looked at my skin. Seems Persona's mark of death spread relatively quickly. The bastard. He wanted to be sure I died.
I made no effort to sit up. I knew I only had moments. My breath was already short and quick. It was extremely difficult to breathe. My chest was hot and felt like it'd shut down any moment. I examined what I could from where I lay and saw Mikan walking with Ruka.
Just like it always should have been.
They looked worried. Maybe Mikan mentioned my injures and they checked the infirmary this morning. Ruka, yes, It'd make sense for him to check around. But Mikan? I said I hated her guts venomously not too many hours ago.
Wait a second. She seemed happy for a moment there. She smiled.
I let a small smile take over my pallid face as I felt my body begin to shut down.
"I'm glad you'll help me talk to Natsume, Ruka! That makes me so happy!" Mikan called out relatively loudly.
Shit. She was looking for me.
"He was acting really weird… and he's so injured too right now… I hate when he doesn't go to the doctor and just patches himself up." Mikan put her hands on her hips for emphasis.
She was gorgeous, and lively, as usual.
Ruka chuckled. But then he turned and narrowed his eyes. Scrutinizing something. His eyes then widened with fear. He pointed in my direction. Double shit. I'm dying, my body discolored. I'm swimming in my own damn blood as well. Life can't be so cruel. I can't say good bye like this.
Mikan turned to my direction as well now, worry on her face, tears spilling as she began running to me.
A smile graced my lips as my eyes became heavy, a tear sliding onto the dirt. The last tear I'll ever spill. Her visage became blurry as my eyes slowly closed. I'll die knowing she cared deeply for me. That she loved me. I pray she finds happiness, as all I've ever given her was a hard time. Sadness. There was nothing I could do for her with this life of mine… So I'll let it be taken away, so she can truly find happiness… Good bye Mikan…
What I really meant to say
Is that I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold.