Willow and Tara Fanfiction
Author notes
This is an alternate version of Tara's death at the end of Season Six. In my opinion there were lots of plot holes in her death and to be honest it was a really bad way to leave, bigger exit was needed me thinks. So I have made it a bit more realistic and dramatic (hopefully) and it is focused on Tara and Willow but does not drown out the other characters. This is my first fanfiction it's probably shown in my writing so please comments, tips on improvement, negativity... all welcome
Story
Chapter 1
Tara woke abruptly, as she placed her hands to support herself she felt something foreign in the bed. She looked around, it wasn't her room. Looking to her left she suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of comfort as she saw red hair barely visible beneath the duvet. Her and Willow together again, after all the tears and heart wrenching moments, finally Tara was back where she knew best, her side. She never regretted them parting because it taught them to be more appreciative of each other, her evidence definitely lied in last night's events. Tara sinks back into the pillow she fixates on Willow's odd choice of curtains, the pattern quite obscure, but slowly drifts back to how it all fell into place the night before, almost like reliving rather than day dreaming.
"Willow you think after all of this we can just suddenly go back to how it used to be?" Tara questioned.
I want to be with her, but I don't know if she's ready. Yes she's finally becoming herself again but I don't want to be the one to tip her back down that endless spiral of power. I can't do that to her I love her too much... Thinks Tara however she is noticing a large pause from Willow.
"Tara I know what I was doing was wrong, I know that. I never ever wanted to hurt you and at the time I honestly didn't see that I was. Now I do. Now I can see. Without you I'm a wreck. This past month has been hell without you, I want you, no I need you, and not in the whole dependency way I just need you to be there because you're the only one I want there do you understand?" Tara trying to take in Willow's long speech which was somewhere between the sweetest thing she had ever heard to Willow babble either way, she felt herself being persuaded.
"Willow I don't want to lose you again..." Tara whimpered and she bowed her head and let her blonde locks fall infront of her face. Willow lifts up Tara's head and pulled her closer into her chest, like a mother cradling a child.
"So take me back and I promise, from physically the bottom of my heart Tara" Willow nuzzles her face into Tara's hair as tears fall from her eyes "You will never lose me I'll always be here, I will never lose myself again. I know I can just say these things, but I can't lie to you Tara. I can't just be your friend, when there's all this between us." Tara slowly raises her head to look at Willow, straight into her eyes to find some sort of reaction to determine whether she was lying or not. Willow just stared down, not blinking in fact the only thing moving were the tears strolling down her face.
Willow moves in for a kiss, seeing this as the only way to put Tara on the spot and decide her feelings.
Oh no I really want to kiss her but I know I shouldn't but I...Tara cut off in mid thought.
She kisses Willow back, there is no movement in the kiss, but their heads are swirling. Tara pulls away suddenly remembering that she came here to be strong, she knew there would be no future she pushed Willow.
"It's getting late I'm going to head back.." Tara said as she began to lift herself off the bed but Willow quickly jumped to the floor and covered the door.
"No Tara please stay, I meant everything I said."
Tara almost welling up at Willow's desperation, she cups her hand around willows cheek and uses her thumb to erase some of the tears. "I know you did baby and I am so proud of how far you've come. I don't want to tease you with that kiss into thinking this is us getting back together, we both need more time."
"You still can't forgive me can you?"
"I have forgiven –"
Willow interrupts almost breaking into a yell " Cause' if that's the case then I can fix it!
Willow... Tara thinks.
"We can start again!" Willow turns to the door takes a few deep breaths and then faces Tara "Hi. I'm Willow, what's your name?"
"You know my name.."
"How can I, we have only just met?" Willow says upbeat also acting pretty well, and wanting Tara to join in.
"Willow! We can't just side-step what happened, it happened."
"Do you love me?"
"You know I do"
"I love you, so why can't this work? We love each other what's simpler than that?"
Tara knocked out of her daydream by Willow breathing in deeply, her nose whistling when she exhales, Tara smiles. She missed the quirky things that Willow used to do whilst she slept, how she would murmur things and they would make no sense, how she used to twist her hair round her fingers and wake up with it in curls, Tara stared at Willow.
Chapter 2
Willow blinked a few times and her eyes open up wide to see Tara staring back at her, she smiled, however once she began stretching this smile became lopsided and disfigured, Tara couldn't help but laugh.
"Hey missus you laughing at me?" Willow asks.
"Maybe.." Tara turns her head and giggles quietly.
"You like to laugh huh? I'll make you laugh till your sides hurt" she says fiendishly. Willow pounces onto Tara tickling her, Tara in fits of laughter.
"Stop Willow! No I can't take it!"
"Okay, okay." She smiles.
"I'm glad you're awake I was beginning to feel lonely' Tara looks at Willow like she wants some attention.
Willow puts her head on Tara's lap whilst Tara plays with her red hair, Willow staring up at Tara in pure satisfaction.
"You know... you'll never be lonely now I'm around."
"I know, I know" Tara agrees.
Now I finally have her again, I can't believe she's taken me back. I know she wants to take things slow but I really just want to be close to her, feel the warmth from her skin. I'm too afraid to go to close or be too intimate in case she accuses me of going too fast. I hate going slow it's so not my pace! Thinks Willow.
Willow begins making her half of the bed whilst Tara slowly opens the curtains but is blinded by the sunlight, however she continues to open them forcing more light into the room. Willow looks up and smiles as she sees Tara stretching in the sun and she crawls across the bed ruining what she had just made, she pulls Tara closer to her and kisses her.
"So what do you want to do today?" Tara asks.
"We have to get up?" Willow suddenly took the shape of a downhearted child, Tara wanting to laugh but learnt her lesson from earlier.
"Yes, unfortunately" She smiles.
Tara took a quick glance out of the window, and noticed Xander walking over to Buffy and for a second it feels like everything was getting better all at once.
"Xanders in the garden with Buffy"
"Hopefully they're making up" Willow says not really paying attention, more looking for the days outfit.
"Yeah hopefully."
Suddenly, three gunshots and then a pause and ending with a fourth. Everything moves so slowly, thinking, is Xander going crazy? Why has glass shattered? Willow stops, and looks in front of her, blood on her pure white shirt. She looks up and Tara falls into her arms, as Tara falls, Willow can feel a warm sticky substance seeping into her shirt and spreading like a virus.
Chapter 3
"TARA? Oh my god... Oh my god."
Willow feels bewildered, her emotions flying around at high speeds she doesn't know whether to collapse and cry, scream for help or just sit there emotionless. Instead she felt a sudden anger, pang through her body like an electric current, along with this anger came evil and hate but most of all power. Tara now losing a lot of blood, Willow sits her on the floor with her back against the bed.
"Tara? Tara! Come on baby, come round, come round for me please." Willow begging, Tara's eyes flutter but they don't was good enough for Willow.
She rips off Tara's now blood soaked shirt and throws it across the room; she could now see the wound was in her shoulder, extremely close to the arteries in her neck. Next to her was a set of drawers containing willows underwear, she doesn't have time to find a shirt she didn't want to get ruined, whilst Tara lay bleeding. She stuffs her hand into her underwear draw and compresses Tara's wound, she pushes Tara's hand on it, eventually Tara can hold it there, not tightly enough but Willow assumes it would buy enough time for her to get a phone. She chances it she jumps over the bed onto the bedside cabinet where the phone lay, she picks it up and jumps over the bed again, quickly pushing her hand onto the wound, knowing that Tara is too out of it to hold it tight enough. She dials the phone with one hand and uses her shoulder to put it to her ear.
"Hello, I need an ambulance, my girlfriend has been shot and she's bleeding alot."
"Your number has been traced an ambulance should be there in 5 minutes, in the mean time compress the wound and talk to your girlfriend."
"Okay, Okay, hey Tara you better love me for all this blood absorbing, I mean do you think I'm your maid" She smiles hesitantly."She keeps going in and out is that good?"
"She won't regain full consciousness just a murmur or an eye movement will suffice."
"She's dribbling, is that good? I don't know! Oh god!"
"Okay try and rub her back, whilst still compressing the wound keeping her head upright"
The sounds of sirens fill the room, so many thoughts rushing through her head, everything moving so fast that it's all blurred colours, she sees green, white, red not being able to make an image and could hear no sound. Willow feels a hand on her shoulder, a paramedic signalling her out of the room.
"Is she going to be okay?" Willow asks.
"There's no definite answer, she's lost a lot of blood and the wound is continually bleeding it will not clot, the next 24 hours are critical, are you related to Tara, is it?" He says trying to keep his voice calm, to keep Willow calm.
"Yes it's Tara and well no, sort of, she's my girlfriend" Then a pang of anger hit Willow again, more forceful, she felt her fingertips tingle like her first taste of Rack's dark magic, saying Tara is her girlfriend again, made the things that are happening to Tara all that more intense and personal.
As they ride in the ambulance, Willow is holding Tara's hand, she begins to wonder who the other shots had hit.
There was definitely four. Tara had said that Buffy and Xander were in the garden before she was shot.
Over the radio in the front of the ambulance there was a lot of static it filling the air. Then a change.
"How critical is the victim?"
The driver grabs the microphone and speaks into it, almost yelling over the sound of the engine and siren.
"Bleeding heavily, 2 minutes away."
"There is another victim at the same address, Male stomach wounds."
Xander! Oh no! I can't go back Tara needs me. Oh god if there ever were a time I had to choose between my girlfriend or my friends, and fate had to pick today! I'll have to wait for them to arrive at the hospital I can't leave her... wait the paramedic said something, was it about Tara? Oh god I'm so flustered what is going on! This morning was perfect how can it turn around so quickly? Thinks Willow
"No bullet remains, it went straight through, odd. It would explain the mass bleeding. I'm going to need some needle and thread I'm going to have to temporarily stitch one side and leave the rest to the medical team."
"There's too much blood it won't hold for long"
"I don't need it to hold for long I need it to hold whilst we get her out of the ambulance and into an operating room."
The paramedics argue amongst themselves, but Willow hears none of it, staring past them and completely deaf to the world around her. The next thing Willow knew she was sitting outside an operating room, once again not staring at anything but past it, her mind, a mess of thoughts.
Could I of saved her? I could of I think. If I used magic I know I could, but I know even if it meant saving Tara's life, it would be like betraying her. Who was shooting the gun, it was only Xander and Buffy in the garden from what Tara said, Buffy wouldn't hurt Xander she wasn't that angry, not that she owned a gun let alone be able to fire one. What will I do if she dies? Willow, she's not going to die, why would she? It's only a little blood here and there, she'll be fine. Fine, I hope she'll be fine. Fine would be good. Willow thinks as she frantically fiddles through her pockets, and finds a packet of tissues. She rips open the packet, takes out a tissue and instead of wiping her eyes she breaks the tissues into shreds and then fits them back together. It looks nothing like the original tissue but it has taken her mind off what is going on through the wall behind her. The vacant walls only hold leaflets about treatment plans, hardly positive or encouraging, the floor looks friendlier. Shiny from the constant buffing required in the hospital, a blurred red headed girl stares back.
Chapter 4
Just then a nurse emerges from the double doors next to her chair.
"Excuse me, are you Willow Rosenberg?"
Willow stands up ready to burst past her towards Tara. " Yes."
The time in which it takes the nurse to speak again seems an eternity, her lips open in slow motion but her words are fluent.
"She's been taken into ICU, the operation went well, you can go see her but she may not come round. She might be able to hear you. I remind you that the next 24 hours are critical and that everything can look fine, but it can take a turn, press the aid button if anything strikes you as odd"
"You mean other than the bullet hole in her shoulder" Anger rising within Willow, now after her paranoia of thought and scenarios , she is pretty sure that even if this was an accident, the gun was there on purpose.
Willow sits by Tara, the clock hits 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and it feels like late evening. Everything within the hospital is dark and dingy; Willow can smell death on the ward. Using her thumb to caress Tara's hand whispering to her things that only she can hear, making sure that no nurses were around, she knows Tara can hear her, she can feel it. Nurses eyes bore into Willow, almost branding her guilty. Occasionally Willow lets go and rubs her hands together and to Tara's blood off her hands. Willow suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder she turns around and sees Buffy standing there, in a half ripped half drenched shirt and make-up running down her face.
"Hey Will..."
"Hey Buff..."
"Guess were the last two standing huh?" says Buffy attempting to lighten the mood instead of resorting to awkward conversation.
"Yup."
"So what happened?"
"I don't know"
"What weren't you there?"
"No I was there, I was right in front of her. It all happened so fast, but so slow. I remember looking down and when I actually looked up she fell into my arms. It's like my mind's processing it in pictures rather than a memory."
"I know." Buffy replies just staring at the floor.
"What happened in the garden I heard firing?" Willow asks.
Buffy changes her level of her voice to a whisper, starting with a slight whimper. "We were making up whilst I was looking for cameras in the back yard. We were hugging and Warren came into the yard and shot the gun aiming at me and shot one in the air, the one that got Tara. Well Xander jumped in front of me, taking all three of the bullets."
"Is he-he-he" Willow stutters at the thought of Xander dead.
"No, he's alive. One is only a flesh wound, one pierced his kidney and another hit nothing but they need surgery to remove it. Oh Will, I don't know what I would have done if he'd of died for me. I risk my life for him all the time, but when he did for me it felt wrong."
"You save lives everyday Buff, it's bound to feel weird when the heroine is saved."
"I suppose, it should of been me though. How are you doing, is Tara doing okay?" Buff asks trying to move off the subject, not wanting to dwell on her own problems.
"The doctor says she should come round soon, they've done some blood transfusions. Her wound is healing nicely, the bullet went straight through. There was so much blood Buffy, so close to her arteries, she could of died instantly." Willow shudders like a cold breeze has brushed past her back, she looks at Buffy and moves closer and lowers her voice. "Remember I said I have hard days, and then there are the really hard days with not using magic? Today was the hardest I just feel like I could of done more, she might not be in here now if I had, I thought about it, I really did. I just couldn't do it, like I was betraying her. I kept feeling power at my fingertips, anger rising, boiling my blood, I want revenge Buff, I want it."
"They'll get what's coming to them; the authorities will catch up to him eventually."
"What if they don't? We both know they ignore paranormal, we could get him faster, we cou-" Buffy interrupts Willow, when she sees where Willow is leading this conversation.
"No Will, that's wrong. Tara is alive. Be thankful. I'm as angry as you but even I know that if we hurt him or touch him, he'll never get what's coming to him. You'd have to use magic and I know you want to defend Tara but if they put you behind bars, Tara will be alone."
"Buff?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't worry..."
"I'm going to go get a coffee and check on Xander, see you later" Buffy patted Willow's back as she said bye.
Chapter 5
Ahh. I can't take this. Demons, Vampires and now mere mortals? I can't be on guard all the time. I can't risk Tara's life. I don't know what to do. Thinks Willow as she just waits, just then she gets a squeeze from Tara's hand, she looks up to her face and she looks drowsy but is awake.
"Hey baby" Tara murmurs.
"Hey... how do you feel?"
"Like I've been shot in the shoulder"
Willow lets out a small giggle. "Funny story... you did."
"Somehow I think I know."
Willow smiles but bows her head and a few silent tears fall across her pale skin.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Tara said lifting her head.
"I thought I lost you, not the best first day of our relationship really."
"Hey Will, that's just Sunnydale by being here you run the risk of being turned into a vampire, killed or drained of your own blood."
"I know, but what if we were to leave..." Willow almost whispers hoping Tara didn't hear.
"What?"
"Don't worry"
"No I heard, I just wanted to make sure I heard right. You want to leave?"
"I don't want to. I just love you more than this place, I'd do anything to keep you safe."
"That's very cute sweetie, you being protective but I want to stay. This is your home, and it's mine now too. We have friends here, Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Anya... we can't just leave them."
"Tara I love all my friends, but I'm an adult and their adults I can't be responsible for them. I mean without you I have nothing. You know full well that without you, I couldn't hold the fort."
"Thanks Will, thanks a lot." Buffy protests as her hands are shaking, spilling her coffee.
"Buf-"Willow begins.
"Willow go speak to her, I'll be fine. She just heard the wrong bit of the conversation."
Willow walks out of the ward and sees Buffy sitting on the floor against the wall. Leaned forward with her head in her hands, completely supporting herself, she looks so vulnerable. Willow slide down next to her and she puts her arm around Buffy, but Buffy shakes it off.
"Buff, I'm sorry"
"Will, nothing you can say can make this day okay."
"I love you guys, but today I almost turned and I don't know if I can stay here. I care so much about all of you, but I'm a witch who can't be trusted with her powers, what use am I?" Willow moans.
"You think I only want you here because of your use to the gang? Willow you're one of my best friends, vampires, demons and everything Slayery aside, I need you."
"I'm sorry I should of thought... I should have known. Were not leaving anyway it's just the thought of her getting hurt again that's made me not want to be here anymore and you know that. I can't pretend someone who lives in Sunnydale didn't do it, it's this place it forces people out and I never thought I would be one of them."
Willow shuffles left and right and then looks at Buffy."I would never leave because of you, it's just hard constantly being this worried. Can't you just forget what you heard?"
"I'll forget as long as you don't leave, but trust me if you leave, I'll remind you" Buffy giggles through her tears.
"So how's the mighty Xander, is he awake yet?"
"Wil-"
"What?"
"There was nothing they could do, there was some internal bleeding. He's on a ventilator; they said if he doesn't start breathing for himself in the next 48 hours then they have to switch it off."
"W-what? You said he was fine." Willow whispers.
"Well the paramedics didn't realise how far the bullet had travelled. They don't know if he'll make it through the night, apparently he can still hear everything. It's why I came, I thought-"
"You thought I'd want to say goodbye" Willow pulls her knees up to her head and buries her face in them.
"What am I supposed to say Buffy?"
"I can't tell you that Willow, but I know you'll think of something. I've said goodbye and I'm just hoping that he makes it. Are you ready to go then?" Buffy asks getting ready to get up.
"No."
"What?!"
"I'm not saying goodbye. He's going to make it. He's Xander, he isn't going to die... if I went in there poured out my heart and he'd probably wake up and laugh at me. Yeah he's probably waiting for me to do that, don't worry Buff I won't let on you told me" She smiles.
"Willow, I know it's hard but you have to let him go."
"It's fine Buffy, I know now you don't need to keep playing along to the joke." With that Willow stands up and walks back into Tara's ward.
Chapter 6
Buffy sits by Xander, staring at his closed eyes, imagining what he is dreaming. All those times shared all the in-jokes that few would understand. She feels compelled to talk to him but feels it is pointless as he cannot answer. She holds his hand and strokes it, hoping the contact would wake him.
If only I could turn back time, and push Xander away, why does he try and be noble. I know he's been upset since Anya and him split...But I don't think he is capable of suicide. Then again I'm not Xander... OH MY GOD ANYA. I need to tell her! Will she be interested? Buffy thinks as she gets her mobile from her pocket and begins to make her way out of his room and through a fire escape.
She dials Anya's number and after a few minutes she picks up.
"Hey Anya it's Buffy."
"Buffy? Reason you called?" Anya says confused, but her usual blunt self.
"There's something I have to tell you... about Xander..."
"Do the words broken up and altar, ring a bell. I don't care."
"He's in hospital."
"W-what?"
"He's on a ventilator and they don't know if he'll make it. I just thought you should know... you can come see him if you like."
"What happened?"
"He was shot three times, trying to save me..."
"Who shot him?!"
"Warren."
"So you're telling me, Warren came to kill you and instead Xander jumps in front of you and takes the bullets?"
"He shot a bullet in the air, which went through the window and hit Tara... She's here too."
"Anything else?"
"You don't seem overly bothered to be honest"
"Oh I'm bothered, but I'm more angry than anything else."
"Like I said to Willow, don't go after Warren-" Buffy is cut off in mid sentence by Anya.
"Buffy I'm not angry at Warren; well I am, but only partially. I am angrier at you. You antagonise all these 'villains' and you expect them not to pay you a visit! You have put everyone in danger! Now Xander is going to die because of your mistake."
"It wasn't my fault I didn't ask him to jump in front of me."
"That's just it Buffy, with Xander you don't have to ask. With his friends and family they come first, he is so kind, generous, protective and loyal and he'd doing anything for Buffy, his old highschool crush. So don't try and dodge this bullet because it's going to sting. You may not have shot the gun but you loaded it."
Buffy hung up straight away, not sure what she is hearing, confused by both Willow and Anya's reaction, she realises how bigger impact Xander's death would have on the Scooby gang.
I've just shot my friend, Anya's right. I leave my friends in too much danger. When I began this whole slaying vampires, I forgot how dangerous it is. I'm now worried if I lose Xander I lose my grip on Sunnydale and also Willow and Anya, I wish Giles was here, he'd understand. Why do I care what Anya thinks? She is always the one who is ready to blame anyone. Then again she is the only one who says what everyone else is thinking, so maybe she's not alone in this... what if Willow thinks it too? This is just a mess I can't think straight.