Regrets
Whether you trust in your own strength... or trust in the choices made by reliable comrades. No one knows what the outcome will be.
"Judging by their pouty looks... They at least succeeded in throwing our taxes down the drain."
They are complaining and mocking. The scornful voices are buzzing through the air, clearly audible over the sound horse hoves and rattling carts.
They are looking down on them—they are looking down on everyone who died, dismissing their comrades, who got torn to pieces, smashed, squashed, ripped apart like it was nothing. Eld, Gunther, Petra, Oluo and everyone else; to those voices they are nothing—nothing more than a waste of money—nothing more than a bunch of weirdos going beyond the wall. In their eyes; the sacrifices that their comrades made, are negligible.
And he can't have that. There's no fucking way he'll let them.
So he straightens up, muscles trembling from the effort it takes, ready to shut up those ignorant voices—the cowards.
But instead, four pairs of eyes met his, and the realization slams into him.
He averts his gaze, his whole body trembling again, but now for entire another reason.
"The heroes are back! Come on, Mikasa!"
An echo of the past fills his mind. And it makes him sick—ashamed.
His heart is beating loudly in his chest, and all of a sudden it's hard to breathe.
Suddenly another voice overrules everything else. "Captain Levi, sir!"
And he can't. It's too much. His chest is clenching so hard, it's nearly unbearable. It hurts.
The clouds high above him in the sky blur, blending together into ugly smears of color.
He covers his mouth with an arm, trying with all might to hold back the piercing wave of agony that threatens to burst forth.
"Trust in us."
No. No, no no, no, no.
He made the wrong choice. It was the wrong decision.
If he just— what if he just had—
But he can't turn back time. It's too late.
They are dead. One by one, reduced to nothing more than mangled remains and splatters of blood.
And not knowing at that moment, what else to do, he cries.
I'm so sorry.
After writing a fic of the aftermath of the 57th expedition for Levi and Erwin, I also wanted to write one for Eren.
All the mistakes are mine.