Big Foot-
Summary: Carter thinks he saw Bigfoot, But the men don't believe him. So he must prove it.
[AN] Technically Big Foot wasn't really called Big Foot until at least the fifties. It was otherwise known as Sasquatch or other names pertaining to what it looked like, for example: Ape-man. So I know this might not be all that accurate but I'm just doing this because I thought it would be funny. (Again this is one of my sister's idea's! She's so helpful. Love ya Sis!)
…
Carter burst into the barracks with little breath to spare. "Guys!" He was panting heavily. "You… wont… believe…I …and then… I saw.. But it…" However he was soon cut off by a lack of oxygen. He took a loud, long inhale.
Hogan and the men ran over to Carter. They sat him down, worried that he'd been hurt by the S.S. men who had been hanging around the Stalag lately. "Calm down Andrew. Now, what's this all about?" Hogan had his arm supportively around Carter's shoulders.
Lebeau stepped forward and checked the young man out to make sure he wasn't hurt. "Did they hurt you?"
Carter was well past confused. He shook his head, still panting.
Newkirk sat down across from Carter looking him over as well. "Did they send their dogs after you?"
Carter, who was still panting heavily, shook his head again. He went to speak but was hushed by Hogan. "It's okay Carter, just relax. Don't speak. We'll sort this out."
Carter was getting impatient so he shouted. "Big Foot!"
"They kicked you?" Lebeau asked unsure.
"They do 'ave pretty big feet mates." Newkirk agreed.
Carter groaned in between breaths. He shook his head violently.
Kinch came to the rescue with some paper and a pencil. "Here write it down. That will be easier."
Carter took the pad of paper eagerly and began to write down the incident. The men hovered by, waiting with anticipated breath to what had Carter so riled. Carter handed the paper to Hogan who read it once, then twice, then thrice. He looked at Carter and shook his head. "Big Foot?" He was in a state of disbelief.
Carter nodded his head violently.
"You thought you saw Big Foot?" Hogan was half amused.
"I did!" Carter said eager for them to believe him. He was catching his breath by now.
Hogan handed the paper to Kinch and walked away with a roll of the eyes. He helped himself to the coffee that was on the stove.
Newkirk shook his head, disgusted. "You 'ad us worried that you were hurt and 'ere it's just your bloody imagination."
"Is not!" Carter stood up to face Newkirk.
"Carter face it, you have a wild imagination." Lebeau said trying to smooth things out.
"Well, that's true, but I really did see it!" Carter was at a loss, some people just weren't believers. Carter was waving his arms around to try and get the point across. Finally he lowered them and with new determination said, "Fine then, I'll go and catch him and then you'll believe me!" Carter made his way past the men to the bunk that led to the tunnels but was stopped by Hogan just as he was about to hit the switch to open it.
"Carter, now's not the time to go searching for Big Foot. We have bigger problems." Hogan led Carter back to his bunk where the young man sat obediently.
"Problems?" Carter wasn't sure what was going on. Then it hit him. "Did Big Foot find our tunnel? I hear he can be quite destructive. In fact one time my uncle…"
"Carter!" Hogan had to stop him or else he might not stop.
Carter shut his mouth and let his commanding officer continue.
"The problem is the S.S. officers. They are making it tough for us and our operation. We need to get some photos of the new German tanks to London but they are blocking our tunnel exit."
"Do you think that Big Foot is in league with them?" Carter asked seriously.
Hogan rubbed his eyes. 'What is with this kid?' As he thought this the barracks door opened and Shultz walked in.
"Colonel Hogan," Shultz closed the door. "The Kommandant wants to see you in his office."
"What for Shultz?" Hogan asked, crossing his arms. He didn't have time for the Bald Eagle's little rants.
"Something to do with a work detail." Shultz said. "But other than that I know nothing."
"Tell him we're busy!" Hogan said turning back to his men.
"Colonel Hogan! The Kommandant wants you to fix some holes in the road just outside of camp."
Hogan stopped. "Outside of camp?"
Carter stood up. "I volunteer!"
"Thank you Carter ah- wait…" Shultz stopped. "Why are you volunteering?"
"I want to hunt down Big Foot." Carter said with a hint of excitement in his voice.
Shultz laughed. "Jolly-Joker!"
"I'm serious!" Carter was getting frustrated with the non-believers.
"Carter, could you drop this Big Foot business for one minute." Hogan's voice was more than a request it was an order.
Carter's eyes fell to the floor, defeated.
"I'll go see the Bald Eagle." Hogan said reluctantly and walked out of the barracks followed by a laughing Shultz.
…
Hogan entered Klink's office.
"Ah Colonel Hogan! About the work detail, I want your men to fill the holes in the road just outside of camp. I keep hitting them every time I go into town." Klink rose from his desk. "I'll give you and your men white bread for a full week and allow an extra shower a week for your men for the next month."
How could Hogan pass up that. "You're being awfully generous Kommandant." Hogan was actually in awe.
"I can change my mind you know." Klink wasn't in the mood for Hogan's antics. His head hurt from when he hit the hole and went flying up, smashing his head on the ceiling of his car.
Hogan shook his head. "That will do! You can count on us!" Hogan then left Klink's office, eager to tell the men who were happy with the offer.
"Kinch, radio London and tell them to send an underground agent to meet us outside the gate for a pick up." Hogan had already gotten a fairly simple plan underway. It was all thanks to Klink.
…
Carter was in the tunnel gathering nets and traps he could use for getting Big Foot. Newkirk, for his own amusement, had made Carter a Safari outfit that he could wear when hunting for the mythical creature. Hogan had commented on giving him a magic wand and a wizard hat to go along with the mythical Safari. He could be one of the mythical creatures that they would see on their trip. The other men laughed while Carter took his hunting very seriously. However Hogan had forbid Carter from wearing the outfit and bringing the traps and nets because the guards would suspect something and want to know where he had gotten the equipment from.
Carter, to his disappointment, had to wear his usually uniform and his only equipment was the shovel that he had to use for filling the holes in on the road. He figured he could hit Big Foot over the head with it. Although, it was about seven and a half feet tall so his shovel probably wouldn't amount to much.
The men stood just inside the gate waiting for Shultz to finish the head count and talked among themselves. The S.S. men were accompanying Shultz and the prisoners to the road since they didn't trust the Luftwaffe soldiers to be able to handle it.
Hogan wasn't sure how to get rid of the S.S. soldiers, not yet anyway. They were only there because the Gestapo were trying to run the Stalags. So they figured they'd start with Klink since he was a push over. Hogan had tried to get Klink to call Burkhalter but the Gestapo got involved and frightened Klink out of it.
The men were marching out the gate now on their way to the damaged part of the road. Carter kept his eyes open for any sign of Big Foot. However they reached the damaged road faster than he expected. It really was 'just outside of camp'. He began shoveling but wasn't looking at what he was doing. He was too busy watching the woods for any sign of the creature. Because he wasn't watching what he was doing he was shoveling dirt all over the other men.
Newkirk began to fill a hole and just as he was about to place a shovel full of dirt into it he was bombarded by a wall of dirt. He turned and saw Carter staring off into the woods while attempting to shovel dirt. Another wall of dirt his Newkirk. He took a shovel full and threw it back at Carter as a form of revenge.
The dirt hit Carter in the chest. He looked down then around him he saw Newkirk smirking evilly at him. So in retaliation he took a shovel full of dirt and threw it at the Englander.
Soon a dirt fight was underway, Lebeau ended up joining in when he was hit accidentally by uncontrollable flying dirt. Eventually other men joined in for the heck of it and Kinch and Hogan watched from afar. Shultz was ordered by an S.S. guard to stop the fight, so he kind of scurried up yelling at the men to stop. They turned and looked at him, then looked at one another and, with their shovels full of dirt, threw it at Shultz.
Shultz, who was in mid-yell, wound up with globs of dirt in his mouth and all over his face. He turned back to Hogan and the guards who in turn began laughing.
Just then a large hairy creature ran by and grabbed carter around the waist hauled him over its shoulder and ran off into the woods.
Hogan nearly fell over when he saw it. The men could hear Carter shouting as he went into the forest as the creatures prisoner. "I don't believe this!" Hogan was in disbelief again.
He and the men ran after him. The soldiers, who had only heard stories about Big Foot, were frightened. Even Shultz didn't know what to do.
This was ridiculous. That thought was the only thing that went through the Heroes' minds.
Carter, who was still being carried by Big Foot wasn't frightened; he was excited! Boy oh boy did he prove those guys wrong! Big Foot did exist! He could see the men off in the distance behind him and Big Foot. Then Big Foot turned into one of the caves nearby. 'Oh Boy!' Carter was even more excited, he'd get to see where the creature lived! He could see it's nest. He wondered if there were any baby Big Foots. Or would it be Big Feet? Carter wasn't sure, but he didn't have a chance to find out because it put him down then went to the entrance to the cave. He went to follow but it motioned for him to stay. 'Wow! It can communicate!' Carter's mind was whirling with excitement.
Hogan and his men followed as well as they could. They lost the creature and Carter.
"What a way to go…" Newkirk said. "Being eaten by Big Foot."
The men just looked at him. "How can you joke at a time like this!" Lebeau was scolding Newkirk. "That's our friend! And you're being so cold hearted about it!"
Newkirk jumped to his defense. "I'm just sayin'. It's just kind of funny!"
"Well, I don't find it funny!" Lebeau was a bit angry at Newkirk.
"There!" Hogan called. He saw the creature looking out from a cave then it went back in as soon as it was spotted. The men followed. Hogan was a pit angry that the underground agent would miss him. He'd have to find another way to get the information to London. Right now their problem was getting Carter back.
They turned into the cave and found the creature waiting in the cave with Carter. The men had shovels and were ready to beat the thing to a pulp to save Carter.
"See! I told you Big Foot was real!" Carter wasn't frightened in the least.
Big Foot looked at Carter as though it couldn't believe what it was hearing. Newkirk lowered his shovel a bit. "Carter! Are you for real?"
"That's what I was wondering." Big Foot Spoke! Carter was in even more awe than before. It even had a German accent!
Big Foot reached up and pulled its head off.
"Huh?" The disappointment in Carter's voice was evident.
Hogan could not believe what he was seeing. Relief flooded through him but he was also rather surprised. "Danzig? Oscar Danzig?"
And it was! Oscar Danzig, Germany's top woman impersonator! He had disguises of everything apparently.
"Yes, I am the underground agent that you asked for to get the photos of the German tanks."
"You mean," Carter's sad disappointed voice echoed from behind them in the cave. "You're not Big Foot?"
Danzig just looked at Carter and shook his head.
Carter lowered his head in sorrow.
Hogan and the others felt rather sorry for the young man. He was so excited only to have it turn out to be a lie. They knew they'd have to make it up to him somehow.
Hogan handed Danzig the film and off he went with it in his Big Foot disguise to his headquarters. Hogan and Newkirk led Carter back to the road where Shultz was standing all alone. "Hey Shultz, what happened to the guards?"
Shultz shook his head. There was still some dirt on his face. "They were saying something about 'Big Foot' and ran away. Where did you go? Oh, no don't tell me; Carter thought he saw Big Foot too?"
Hogan looked at Carter who was still upset. "Yeah, only it wasn't Big Foot."
"That's what I thought!" Shultz took the prisoners back to camp and found that the S.S. were being shipped out. Apparently when the others returned and cried 'Big Foot' the officers thought they were crazy and decided to send them to the Russian Front for leaving their posts and acting so silly as to believe in Big Foot!
Hogan was happy with the outcome. Not only did they get the film to London they got the S.S. out of the camp as well; they were scared away by 'Big Foot'. The only one not happy was Carter.
Hogan and Kinch came up from the tunnel. "So," The walked over to the table and accepted the coffee offered by Lebeau. "I asked Danzig to walk by the wire of the camp again as Big Foot but,"
Carter looked up from where he was sitting on his bunk.
"He said that he had never been outside the camp as Big Foot except when he came for the film."
Carter's eyes brightened. "You mean,"
"Yes Carter, the Big Foot you saw outside of camp wasn't Danzig." Hogan Placed his cup of coffee on the table and took a seat.
Carter leapt up from his bunk. "That means Big Foot really is out there!" Hogan nodded and Carter ran down into the tunnel to get his Big Foot hunting equipment.
Lebeau and Newkirk looked at Hogan. "Sir, do you mean that Big Foot really is out there?" Newkirk asked unsure if Hogan was pulling their legs or not. He could not believe this. Could he?
Hogan smiled. "That's for you to decide." Kinch sat down at the table clearly knowing what was going through the Colonel's mind.
"Come on Sir! Tell us what you 'ave up your sleeve!" Newkirk leaned in.
"Well, I thought that if Carter found out that Big Foot was out there it would cheer him up." Hogan said simply.
That wasn't good enough for Newkirk though. "Yes, but was the Big Foot outside the Camp really not Danzig?"
"That's right, it wasn't Danzig." Hogan took a sip of his coffee.
Newkirk sat back. There was something more. "Alright spill it!"
Hogan laughed. "I can't pull one over you, maybe Carter, but not you." Hogan put his coffee back on the table. "It wasn't Danzig it was one of his men. They were scouting but they didn't want to do so without a disguise. The Big Foot disguise was new and they figured they would test it out."
"So then it wasn't Big Foot." Lebeau said relieved.
"Yes it was." Hogan said teasingly. "You can tell just by looking at it."
Newkirk wasn't amused. "Well, don't let Carter know."
"Newkirk why don't you join him on his safari for Big Foot." Hogan said nudging the Englander toward the tunnel.
"Sir, you can't be serious!" Newkirk was not going to be caught hunting for Big Foot.
"Someone has to keep him out of trouble." Hogan said casually.
"Oh, so now I'm his baby sitter." Newkirk opened the bunk and climbed down into tunnel complaining the whole way.
Hogan couldn't keep everyone happy. But he tried. He knew Newkirk would have fun watching Carter hunt for Big Foot, even if the Englander wouldn't admit it, he knew.
[AN] Well, That's our team and Big Foot. I can't believe I wrote this! Hogan's Heroes and Big Foot… what a combo! Let me know what you thought!