She always saw him in the mirror.
He was there in the back of the studio watching her every move with keen eyes. Always moving in to join her in her routines. The music made Helga deaf to everything, including the words he seemed to whisper to her in the mirror as he moved with her.
He pulled when she pushed and pushed when she pulled. Like the tides and the moon in an ever lasting dance. His fingers ghosting over where they should be placed on her form. She would draw her head back and roll it, he would copy her in the mirror.
Of course he wasn't really there.
Helga was alone in the dance studio as she was every other night when she didn't have to work. There was no way Arnold would know about this place or know she even attended. He would never be able to get into the building during the late hours as she had a key and he did not. There no odds that he would see her.
To watch the way her arms could float elegantly by her sides, moving like ribbons as her legs were strong and held her up. Arnold would never see her in her most peaceful. At the thought Helga could only silently mourn as she took a dramatic dip and spin. She projected her feeling onto the notes of the music that filled her studio as she closed her eyes for a few spins.
When she opened them again he was there, dancing with her in a black leotard. His movements as elegant as hers as he was able to lure her throughout the studio floor. Making her chase him with pointed steps and bunny hops. As the song picked up its pace Helga could feel the light in her heart again as she danced with the Arnold in the mirror.
At the height of the song Helga closed her eyes and leaned back, the sweet sereine smile never left her as she dipped as if someone should catch her….but was only met with the cold floor.
Helga called it reality.
The cold, frigid truth of it all.
She could be deluded while dancing all she wanted. She waltz around the floor, foxtrot wall to wall or tango until she was red in the face. Because each time she dipped she would fall.
She will fall everytime because no one is ever there to catch Helga G. Pataki.
Why would they?
….
Helga couldn't ignore the Arnold that lived in the mirror of her dance studio. He nice enough to leave her be during group sessions. But everytime she danced alone…he would appear. His silent voice was like a sirens call to her. Pleading with her to dance, to let her hear all those compliments she could see him whispering in her ear.
The way would spin her like ballerina on a music box made her heart beat faster every time. Those half lidded green eyes following her around the room as if she were the Mona Lisa. Sometimes he would even join her for the stretching. He pranced around the room with her and laughed at her funny dance moves. But everytime it came to the dip she would fall, hit the floor and be slapped again with reality of it all again.
She peddled her poems to this fake Arnold but he could not reply.
She told him that she adored him and he could only smile back.
She cried to him when the days were tough but he could not console her.
She could scream and shout at him but nothing fazed him. He was just there to dance.
Helga was twisted up inside. Like christmas lights after you take them out from storage. She couldn't find which end belonged to her anymore. She only knew that she was losing her mind.
That was fine.
No it wasn't.
Helga ached when she saw the real Arnold, so happy and in love with his life. He didn't know of her secret or the other him. He would probably call her a freak and run for the hills if she told him about it.
And that was only because she would have to admit to ballet. She didn't even wanna know his reaction if she started spouting off that she was seeing him in mirrors and shit. So Helga kept it locked up tight. Locked the box and swallowed the key.
She won't tell anyone.
Not even Phoebe
….
It wasn't a late night this time and the studio was still open to the public. Helga had closed the door to her room and played her warm up music, bending and stretching while taking close peaks at the mirror.
He wasn't there.
Helga tried to shrug it off.
It was an image her mind created anyway. She should be happy that she wasn't seeing him. Meant she was less crazy right?
She continued her stretched and a few practice lunges and set the playlist on her phone to start and plugged in the aux cord.
She was few songs in and still hadn't seen him pop up. Her gut twisted as her actions halted and the music seemed to play around her as she stared sadly into the mirror. She could admit to herself that she was sad he wasn't there. She had come to expect him as a bit for a dancing partner. Helga pressed her forehead to the mirror and sighed before pulling back and gasping.
There he was, almost right next to her. She turned around and he physically wasn't there. But there he stood in the mirror, dressed in his black leotard and his hair slicked back. Green eyes waiting for her to start the dance. The smile that broke her face almost brought tears to her own eyes.
She was so happy.
Immediately she fell in step with him, swaying back and forth, to the tune before the next song started. They pranced along the floor and spun each other in circles. Her laughter couldn't be contained and in the mirror it looked like he was laughing along with her. Her heart was swelling with this warm feeling.
She closed her eyes again and followed a gentle pull of movements. Almost as if he was there, gently guiding her along to the steps. She followed it like the warmth in her chest and was surprised when she felt it suddenly disappear. She opened her eyes again to see that the Arnold in the mirror looked different and was at the back of the room.
Mirror Arnold looked like he came directly from school, backpack dropped by his feet as a look of astonishment and amazement was plastered over his face. His cheeks red and his hair no longer slicked back but disheveled just like the real Arnold. Helga smiled coyly at him.
Not bothering to turn around and check anymore. This mirror was playing tricks on her and she wasn't going to fall for it.
"Acting all shy now? I thought you were more bold than that" She cocked her hip before rising to her toes again, spinning gracefully and never letting her eyes leave the mirror. "Oh my Football headed love god, staring at me with wide big eyes, tell me, do you believe my day to day disguise? Can you peak into my heart? Will you tear me apart? Oh my Football headed love god" She swooned at him.
She leapt and spun reciting poem after poem, trying to coax the mirror image to dance with her again. She found the sudden shyness quite adorable and very Arnold like. She made big loops with her spins as she cited the final verses to her love. "Oh down in the pits grows despair and loneliness, teeter on the rocks edge to fall or not. Down falling, falling, falling rock, could crush my bones and bury me to rot. Your whisper gives wind in my feet, your smile is the sunrays from on my skin it beats," Helga stopped and posed on her tippy toes
"Such warmth that pulls me forward," She began to teeter backwards, bracing herself for the fall "My football headed love god, will you let me glide on your clouds? Will you be with me even when I am lower than the ground? My football headed love god, will you let suffer? Will you let me tumble for the actions I have prompted? To live or to die is by your wish. My only thought is for….a simple….kiss" Helga let herself fall back for a dip, waiting to crash to floor.
Waiting for the final part of her poem to come to completion. The crash of into the floor, signifying her crash into the pit of loneliness.
But instead she heard shoe skid on her floor and two clumsy arms wrap around her in time before she hit the floor. Her snapped open as right in front her, not inside of mirror, Arnold Shortman was holding her. His face was beat ready and he looked very nervous but he caught her.
"A-Arnold?!" Helga shrieked as she scrambled away from him.
"H-Helga I-"
"A-Bup-bup-bup-bup! No! Absolutely not. You aren't here. You are never really here. You cannot be here! Because that would mean I just…I just…..con…con…confessed…" Her face grew brighter than his as her hands slapped her cheeks. Trying to wake herself up from this absolute nightmare.
"Helga please listen I–! What the fuck?!" Arnold felt all the color drain from his face. Helga looked up at him only to see a horrified face. She turned back to see the dance studio mirror.
There was Helga's reflection….Arnold's reflection…..and mirror Arnold