AN: I was listening to the song and decided to try to write this songfic – I love Rogan and even though I miss Tristan, Logan definitely has promise.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I am not the amazingly brilliant Amy Sherman-Palladino and don't have any ownership of Gilmore Girls or the like. I also don't own Drew Lachey, Nick Lachey, Jeff Timmons, or Justin Jeffre
Background: This takes place after But Not as Cute as Pushkin and isn't really AU, just my opinion of how things should/could go I guess. It's about Rogan but in Marty's POV.
:-
"You are one of my best friends; I would never want to hurt you," she told me sincerely.
Little did she know that she hurts me every time I see her. People don't seem to understand the pain that comes with falling for someone who sees you as nothing more than a best friend. I love Lorelai Leigh Gilmore with everything I have, but she'll never see me as more than just Marty, the guy who was naked outside her door. Rory will never understand that I care for her more than Logan ever could. But she's with Logan, she doesn't notice me. I'll have to look at this picture of us and imagine what it would be like to have Rory to myself.
You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Every time he walks by
The way she talks about Logan; I wish she could tell it drives me crazy. I remember her expression when he finally confessed his feelings, seriously confessed them I mean. I can't imagine Logan Huntzberger being serious, but it happened. The look in her eyes when she sees him…God, she is absolutely beautiful. I remember trying to tell her that Logan was into her, she didn't believe me and at the same time she was too naïve to see my pain.
"He's so frustrating, that guy. I mean I don't know what I did to get on his bad side, or why he has to come after me," she complained. She seriously believed every word that she spoke to me that night.
"Oh, stop it," she should've realized my aggravation when I said that, but she didn't want to.
"What?" Okay, maybe she did a little…
"He's not coming after you, he likes you!"
"He does not."
"Oh please, Rory." Then again she was blind to how I felt too.
"Marty, he does not like me. I mean look what he did. Look at that stunt he pulled, he totally humiliated me."
"Attention like that from people like Logan is like being tapped. You've been anointed. You're in."
"In what?"
"In with him. With his group. He likes you, stop being so naïve…it's annoying."
Maybe I shouldn't have left her after that, but I couldn't help it. When the girl I love isn't realizing how someone else feels, I shouldn't known that I would have to make how I felt more open. Now I'm hearing her gush to Paris about every little thing he does for her, about how perfect he is. The smile on her face after he kisses her is unlike any look I've ever seen. If only I could make her smile like that; if only she'd look into my eyes and see the truth. I wish Rory wasn't so blind, but that's how she is – it's all part of her appeal.
And if you're feeling down
He'll pick you up
He'll hold you close when you're makin' love
He's everything you've been dreaming of
We were walking out of class one day, a day that we got papers back from the professor. I was quite content with my A- but I made the mistake of asking the teary eyes Rory how she did. The tears started to flow and all I wanted to do was console her, but I was the one who caused it. I made the girl I wanted more than anything upset. I hated myself, then I started to hate myself more for thinking how beautiful she was when she cried. But she didn't want me to cheer her up; she ran straight into Logan's arms. He softly stroked her hair and I couldn't bear to watch anymore, I had to walk away. Logan was the one that Rory wanted to be with, not me…it would never be me.
I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine
Telling me more than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man
Sure, Rory knows me – she knows me pretty well for that matter. She knows me as her friend Marty, her best friend – I bring her food, I bring her coffee, I bring her everything except what I want to bring her. She doesn't see me as the Marty who could possibly love her in a way she's never been loved before. I can never be close enough to those baby blue eyes to see through them; she won't let me see into her heart and find my own face there. When it comes to her heart, I don't exist – Rory Gilmore will never see me as more than just her friend. I'm invisible to all romantic thoughts; I'm invincible when it comes to Rory Gilmore. If only that were the truth…if only I could remain completely intact after an encounter with her.
You don't see me baby.
I've been right in front of her face for over a year now and she's yet to notice everything that I feel. I could probably flat out say that I love her and she would just rub it off as I'm her best friend. Everyone loves their best friends, but not the way that I do – not that way at all. One day I should gather the strength to tell her everything, but I'm not exactly sure what everything is.
You probably spend hours on the phone
Talking about nothin' at all
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he calls
It was a Friday night and Rory's car had broken down so she asked me to pick her up at her grandparents' and take her back to Yale. I knew that Lorelai could drive her, but for Rory – I'd do anything. I arrived at 10, just as she'd asked but Rory wasn't waiting for me outside. Emily Gilmore intimidated me so I didn't knock; I knew that Rory or Lorelai would come out soon. Lorelai's jeep was still there so I assumed that dinner wasn't over. Suddenly I saw a shadow and I knew it as Rory's, but she was distracted by something – her cell phone. She was on the phone with Logan and as soon as I heard "I love you more," I wanted to pull out of the driveway. Unfortunately Rory saw me and while still on the phone she got in the car and greeted me with a simple, "hey Marty, thanks," and went back to her conversation with Logan. I didn't ask any questions and I tried not to listen to what she was saying. After about five minutes I heard "okay, I love you too – see you when I get back to school." I didn't want to lose my temper; I couldn't ask why she wanted me to pick her up instead of Logan. The elder Gilmores loved Logan; they didn't think anyone in the world would be better for Rory. Someone as simple as me would never be approved as a suitable boyfriend for their precious baby girl.
When we finally got back to school, Rory decided to start a conversation with me. We talked as we headed back to the dorms and I was very content until we saw Logan and Rory seemed to forget I was even there.
Lost in a love so real and so sincere
And you'll wipe away each other's tears
Your face lights up whenever he appears
I didn't want to interfere with what they believed to be true love, I would have to get over the amount of love that I had for Rory Gilmore. My fate was to sit here and stare at her picture imagining what it would be like if she were mine. I could fall deeper and deeper in love with my best friend but that would only help to lose her. She could never feel the same about me. If only there was some way for me to be someone different – but it would never happen.
I see you all the time baby
Huh, the way you look at him
I wish it was me sweetheart
Boy, I wish it was me
But I guess it will never be
It will never be….