Authors Note: Since I love seeing Snape pick on people, esp. Dark Arts teachers, I wanted to write a fic about it. THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY. NO, SNAPE DOES NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THE DADA TEACHER. Usually fics that start out good end up corny when Snape falls in love…in my opinion.

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            Marri Hover stood outside the headmaster's office nervously. Dumbledore owled her about the job opening, and from hearing all the rumors about it being cursed, she wasn't sure she was ready for it. However, she was unemployed and really wanted to teach.

            "Ah hello my dear." Said Dumbledore opening the door. "How was your trip?"

            "Fine." Marri said.

            "You wouldn't mind attending a staff meeting would you? See, the staff decided to meet early because you will learn later we are almost always behind." The old man said with a grin.

            "Fine." Marri said again, but nervously. She was not very good with social gatherings, or people. Besides having minimal charisma skills, she wasn't the most comfortable with new people.
            "Don't worry, you'll find that my staff are exceptionally accepting." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Heh, heh, accepting…heh…" Marri laughed nervously.

            "Oh, one more thing, you might want to take off your coat, the staff room is having a vintage problem and it tends to be hot."

            "Thanks." Marri replied and took her coat.

            "Here we are. Ready? "

            Marri quickly checked her refection in the window; short black hair, pale skin with freckles.

            "Ready." Marri confirmed, then breathed in and out slowly. The Headmaster walked into the staff room, which had up to the moment been filled with voices. Marri trotted after Dumbledore, nervously trying to keep her cool.

            "Everyone, this is Miss Marri Hover. She will be the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher."

            No one had said a thing. In fact, Marri could have sworn she went deaf.

            "Nice to meet such…accepting people…" Marri nervously said.

            "What the devil is that on your shirt?" Said a man sneering in the corner. A stern looking woman gave him a warning look.

            Marri reluctantly looked down, and saw why the staff was so quiet. It was a picture of a man smoking up a mushroom. Marri mentally kicked herself, it was her brother's shirt, and she must have thrown it on. Probably too nervous to actually see what she was wearing. Her brother's clothes always have a way of finding themselves in her drawers.

            "Uh…it's a man…smoking a 'shroom I think." Marri said laughing, trying to lighten up the mood. Dumbledore was hiding a smile, and the rest of the staff was looking at her like she was some sort of juvenal delinquent.

            "It's um- my brothers shirt…must have put it on by mistake."

            "Well, we are most delighted to have a new staff member." Said Dumbledore breaking the silence. 

            "Are you a pot head?" Said the man in the corner.

            "Severus." Scolded the stern looking woman, although it was clear she wanted to know the same answer.

            "Me? N-no, of course not. I've never smoked the big weed! In fact, smoking is bad, all the surgeon generals say so-not that I'll hold it against you if you smoke-"

            But they ignored her and started the meeting. Marri sighed and mentally kicked herself for being so stupid.

            "Now where do I sit?" She thought looking around for a chair. The only empty chair was near that guy that asked if she smoked pot.

            Little by little she inched her way toward the chair, then, five minutes later she sat down in it.

            "Well, that concludes tonight's meeting." Dumbledore said happily just as Marri's ass was in the seat.  The greasy haired man turned to her and sneered

            "Nice meeting you."

            "You're welcome- I mean-you too." Marri yelled after him. He didn't look back or indicate that he had heard her. She and Dumbledore were left alone…at last.

            "They hate me, and to make things worse they think I'm a druggie." Marri moaned.

            "No…they just weren't expecting someone so…creative. Don't worry; they just need to get to know you. Now, I depart you. I trust you know your way to your room?"

            "Sure." Said Marri waving a map in the air.      

            "Good. Have a nice sleep."

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            The next morning was a lot better than last night. She managed to convince everyone that she didn't smoke pot and the staff was a lot nicer. She felt more comfortable sitting at the end of the table…unnoticed as usual.

            "-Our new DADA teacher, Professor Hover."

            There was clapping and Marri stood up nervously, almost over-balancing from getting up so hastily.

            The tables were soon full of food.

            "Lamb dear?" Said McGonagall offering her a plate.

            "No thank you. I'm a vegetarian." Marri said happily.   

Snape scoffed rudely.

            "Uh…. Why did he snort?" Marri asked McGonagall.

            "For your information I did not snort, I was merely expression my disgust." Snape sneered.

            "…But you snorted." Marri said confused. "And why you snorted I have no clue, considering being a vegetarian is quite socially acceptable."

People hide their smiles as Snape looked at her with hate.

"Who are you to talk about social acceptance?" He hissed.

Marri felt her face go red and didn't say anything for the rest of the meal.

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Marri was rushing to her classroom when suddenly-

"OOF!"

She ran into Snape. No, she did. Literally.  Papers flew everywhere. Marri could see Snape's lip twitching unpleasantly under a potions essay that was covering his face.

Things had been a little tense between them, he would insult her regularly, and she would turn red and count to three. Her temper could be as nasty as she let it, but loosing it on that jerk would be a waste of time.

"Idiot woman!" he snapped.

"Hey, who are you calling 'woman'? What are you, sexist?" Marri fumed.

"No, but you don't give your gender any credit." Snape scowled.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean!" Marri shouted.

"Oh dear…temper temper." Snape said grinning nastily. "What ever happened to that 'I'm untouchable' attitude?"

"You are such an ass."

Marri gathered her things and left the hall quickly. She was going to teach the fifth year Slytherins and Griffindors…she only hoped they got along better with her than Snape.