On the Way to a Smile

Ikusaba Mukuro hated crowds.

There was just too much potential for unseen danger lurking in the guise of innocent civilians. It would be the easiest thing in the world, for assassins to wade through the sea of people inconspicuously, slip a knife in between her ribs as they passed by. Or they could be lying in wait from some vantage point and snipe her down, and she would be none the wiser. There were too many blind spots in her vision, obscured by the grasping skyline and bustling commute.

And yet that was nothing Mukuro could not adjust to.

(life was all about survival of the fittest)

It was just another battlefield, not unlike guerilla warfare in the jungles, and she had adapted to that as if she were born in its midst. The only difference was that here, there was civilization. Instead of tangling vines and thorny underbrush, there were buildings and roads. Instead of enemy soldiers, there were regular, everyday people –

Ah, and there was the problem. Regular, everyday people.

Mukuro just didn't know how to deal with them.

"Just don't be boring like you always are," Junko had said, fixing her hair and then messing it up again for the umpteenth time. She twirled in front of the mirror, frowned, and then resumed.

"How?" Mukuro asked in return, not the least bit offended.

"Huh?" Junko paused, like she hadn't been expecting her sister to respond. "Well…how about you be less like you, and be more like me?"

Easier said than done. Speaking in anything other than short, clipped tones was difficult for her, and people misinterpreted that as a brusque personality, or even cruelty. It wasn't being brusque per say, Mukuro reasoned to herself, it was just being direct. Practical. Why waste time circling around a topic when she could get to the point quickly?

(you can't dance around words with gunfire muffling the sounds)

"Tell us about yourself, Ikusaba-kun, so that we might acquire a better understanding of you!"

"Super High School Level Soldier, Ikusaba Mukuro."

Everybody looked at her expectantly, as though they wanted her to elaborate. The others before her had introduced themselves with more enthusiasm – even Togami Byakuya had uttered one or two lines about his supremacy – but Mukuro had no such desire. She crossed her arms.

"…You already know my talent," Mukuro said, casting her gaze away but still catching in her peripheral the stricken face of Super High School Level Hall Monitor, Ishimaru Kiyotaka. He looked outright scandalized. "That's all I care to share."

When the rest of the students all sported similarly distressed expressions – except Junko, who looked torn between snickering and sobbing – Mukuro's prediction was confirmed. She wouldn't fit in here with the innocent civilians. School life was not for her, the Super High School Level Soldier, and it was a folly to have tried.

"B-But, Ikusaba-kun, we should all-"

"Ah, Ishimaru-san," one boy interjected, looking terribly embarrassed at his audacity. When everybody turned to look at him, he seemed to shrink for a moment before drawing up the courage to speak again. "Maybe it's best if we just…get to know each other naturally?"

Ishimaru blinked slowly during the awkward silence that followed. Nobody moved. Then Hagakure sneezed, and a second later Ishimaru smiled widely and proclaimed something about Naegi-kun having a wonderful idea and slapped the nervous boy on the back.

Truth be told, Mukuro didn't think much of Naegi Makoto at first sight. He was of small stature and looked incredibly timid, rather like a frightened mouse caught in a trap – maybe not as frightened as Chihiro, but still nervous. Naegi seemed unreliable. But, Super High School Level Good Luck…that was a talent Mukuro could appreciate. Luck was one of the most important things out in the battlefield, indispensable.

(no matter how good you were, sometimes luck was the difference between life and death)

And at least now the focus was off of her.

Naegi turned to her and smiled slightly as the others began speaking again, and the foreign expression was startling. She wasn't used to seeing smiles directed towards her. Not entirely certain of what constituted a proper response, Mukuro gave a small nod back – not quite grateful but perhaps…gratified.

For the save, that was, not the smile.

There wasn't much communication between her and the others, so in a way Mukuro lived vicariously through Junko. Her sister was everything she was not: outgoing, sociable, and most of all, loud. Junko got along well enough with the others, but Mukuro was only comfortable in her sister's presence. She stayed in the outskirts.

It might have made some others sad, perhaps, to be isolated from the others, but for Mukuro it was nothing short of a blessing. She didn't want to be with the others.

Which was why she was refusing to participate in this Psychology thing.

"So, Ikusaba-san, what do you think this ink blot looks like?" No response. "Err…this one?" Naegi laughed nervously as the dark-haired girl stared at him. "Umm…Ikusaba-san?"

"It is impossible for my subconscious to be summoned by this activity." All of the patterns they had made looked the exact same to Mukuro – exactly what they were, ink blots on paper.

"This is obviously the shadow of a 2D girl!" Yamada cried, pushing his girth up and shifting a few desks with his gut. Mukuro subtly leaned away as he observed the ink blot over her shoulder. Her estimation of Naegi rose slightly when she saw him likewise inching away.

"H-How, Yamada-kun?" Naegi asked. He looked ready to bolt at any second, which Mukuro supposed was good sense.

"See the fine contours of her body! The perfect shape, the hourglass, the-"

Celes dragged the doujin writer away by the ear before he could get too excited, Oogami shot him a glower that thankfully shut him up, and Mukuro released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"…I think I disagree with you, Ikusaba-san," Naegi said shakily. "It seems like the ink blots do summon the subconscious."

"You realize subconscious would imply he doesn't think about that stuff all the time, right? If he'd seen something other than that creepy stuff, maybe I would agree."

"O-Oh, yes."

"But to answer your question – this looks like the silhouette of a target, probably at night in a lighted environment, and I must unfortunately agree with Yamada that the target is female."

Naegi gulped, and Mukuro hid a satisfied smirk. It was a little fun to scare the boy, even if it might have been immature. Just a little fun.

"Don't worry, Naegi-kun," Mukuro said, rolling up the ink blot with a flourish and throwing it into the trash bin. "Even if I decide to kill someone, I'll make sure it isn't you."

"I don't think you'd do anything like that!" Naegi almost shouted, standing up from his seat and looking more passionate than his shy exterior ever had. Mukuro nearly gave a start. Luckily, the commotion in the room was loud enough to hide his outburst.

"…Naegi-kun?"

The boy sat down again with a flustered expression. "I-I mean, we all know you're a Super High-school Level Soldier, but…that doesn't mean you're the type of person to just kill on a whim. I believe that you're not."

"So you're saying none of the others ever thought about it?" Mukuro asked, and even she was surprised by the hint of bitterness in her voice. She hadn't thought it had bothered her. She still wasn't sure it did, but why else would it hurt?

To be always on the edge of the group wasn't something she enjoyed. She didn't mind it but she didn't enjoy it either, she realized now.

"No," Naegi said honestly. "But that was when we knew nothing about you, Ikusaba-san. Surely you consider us friends by now?"

"…"

She'd never thought about it. Even the term friend sounded childish, after all, like they were all children playing around, and there was no space for friendship in Fenrir. None of those people had been her friends. But here, at Hope's Peak…

What was it other than friendship which made her drop her guard, be comfortable enough to close her eyes and practically doze off in the midst of a crowd of students? Or to put all her focus on a stupid picture of an ink blot rather than watching out for her unprotected back?

"As a friend," Naegi continued, looking so unbelievably earnest and so utterly convinced that Mukuro couldn't have not believed his words, "I believe that you're a good person, Ikusaba-san, and I'm glad to have you in this class."

"Naegi-kun…"

The moment seemed to have passed. Naegi was back to his meek self again, entire posture seeming to have shrunk, but Mukuro knew there was a hidden strength there – one that wasn't physical but was evident in his eyes.

"Y-Yes, Ikusaba-san?"

"Thank you."

Mukuro smiled, somehow feeling lighter than she had in years.