Title: Old Wounds
Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: Ha! If wishing made it so. No, they don't belong to me.
Author's Note: Really, this is a guess who fic. Have fun! ;]
**Stand-Alone**
They tell you when you're young and desperate to believe, that time will heal all wounds. They tell us, when we don't know any better, that as the minutes tick by and fade away, so does the hurt. Well, they lied. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Time doesn't heal anything. All it does is merely push it aside (that explains that numb throbbing I've been feeling for the past three years), only to be rehashed when the memories return. Tonight it returned, as I looked down at the invitation my boss just personally handed me. Being on his staff has some perks. Including an invitation to a swanky party full of the city's most newsworthy people.
After all these years it still hurts. I loved him. I still love him. I may have never told him, I may have never openly shown him, but I did. So much that it scared me.
He's married. They got married years ago. I've always wondered how they did it. How they managed to stay together after all these years. They're so different, yet they're the same, I suppose. I try and tell myself, when it starts to hurt too much, that it's not real. That it's nothing more than a political marriage. That they don't love each other the way WE could love each other…
But they do. (This is when the pain starts to become unbearable. It hurts more than anything I've ever experienced, and let me tell you in my day I've experienced some genuine pain.) They do love each other that much. What they have, it's real and that realization only serves to intensify the pain.
I can't help but wonder though, how my life would have been if I had just told him. If I had just moved past the anger and fear, if I had just thrown to the wind, and made him listen.
But I was too late. I didn't tell him and he found her. Not so much found than finally saw, I suppose. She'd been there all along. I didn't stop him from falling in love with her. I didn't let him know that he had a choice. I didn't let him know that I would have loved him for forever and a day. That I would have stayed with him for eternity.
I love him. I still love him as much as the first day I met him. After all these years, I still love him. I watched him with her and I watched her with him. It was rocky at first, but they survived. They made it to the alter, much too soon in my opinion. I watched him fumble and make her mad. I watched her laugh and smile at his idiocy. They didn't think I noticed. They didn't think I cared, but I did. I saw it all. I listened to everyone talk about how they suited each other perfectly. How he was lucky to have her.
What did they all see in her? Why was SHE so great for him? My bitterness and jealously could be clouding my judgment, or I could be the only person seeing clearly.
Don't they see how perfect I am for him? How much better I could be
for him? How perfect he is for me? I suppose it should be "was" instead of "is", seeing how he's married and all, but I can't stop thinking how much happier I could make him, how much better we would be together. It's been three years since I last saw him. Maybe this is my chance. Maybe this is it. Maybe I'll finally tell him how much I love him.
***
"I've got to start getting ready."
Smiling, Lex helped his wife up. "Slowly,"
"I'm not going to break," she frowned, gently slapping his hands away and pushing him back down onto the couch, "I'm perfectly capable of getting up all by myself. I'm a big girl," she reminded her husband with a dramatic roll of her eyes.
"Honey," Lex sighed, "just be careful."
"I'm pregnant. That doesn't make me an invalid."
"You almost tripped last week," Lex reminded her.
Raising an elegant eyebrow, his wife helpfully pointed out, "Because you left your junk all over the floor, Lex." Grinning as she watched her husband struggle to find a witty comeback, she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I'm going to take a nice long bath and start getting ready."
"We've got hours before we need to be there." Lex smirked pulling his wife back for one more kiss, "It usually doesn't take you more than half an hour to get ready."
"Well ever since you did this to me," his wife grinned, pointing at her protruding stomach, "everything takes a little bit longer."
Pretending to be shocked, Lex gasped in mock horror. "You're blaming me?"
"Are you surprised?" she asked, giving him a saucy grin.
"Well, no…but still. As I recall, you're the one who wanted to get away for the weekend." Lex smirked running his hands over his stomach lovingly, "You're the one who wanted me all to yourself."
Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "You're ego never ceases to amaze me."
"You're the one who wanted to go to that bed and breakfast."
"I said go," his wife said laughing at the memory, "as in vacation for a weekend. I
didn't expect you to buy out the entire place!"
"And you're the one who ordered the wine." Lex continued, ignoring his wife's laughter.
Squinting her eyes adorably, his wife pointed her finger accusingly. "You're the one who had the kitchen send up the chocolate fondue."
"Fine," Lex conceded, "I'll take the blame for this one."
"You're damn right you will," she laughed, kissing his head, "I'm gonna go get ready."
Leaning against her swollen tummy, Lex rubbed his hand gently over their growing child. "Be good for mommy. She's tired."
"I doubt that `he' can hear you, daddy." Mommy smiled, running her fingers through Lex's hair.
"Yes `she' can," Lex answered, "Can't you baby?"
As if on cue, a little foot slammed against mommy's stomach and lightly grazed Lex's cheek.
Grinning, Lex smiled smugly at his wife. "See mommy? `She' can hear me."
"Nothing more than a coincidence." Mommy denied, "`He' probably had a cramp in his leg."
"Father's intuition," Lex beamed, kissing her stomach fondly, "Don't doubt it."
"Lex?"
"Yeah?"
"You know who's going be there…right?"
"I know," Lex answered looking up, "Are you okay? If you don't want to go, just say the word. This is just a party. We don't have to…"
"Lex," mommy laughed, cutting him off, "I'm fine with it. Are you? It's been awhile since you've seen…"
"Why would I not be fine?" Lex asked, feigning ignorance.
Sighing, she gently ran her fingers over his smooth head. "You guys were really good friends once."
"We were."
"And it's been a long time since you've seen each other."
"It has."
"You two never did make up."
"We didn't."
"You two left it on bad terms, Lex."
"I know."
"Will it be awkward seeing each other again?"
"It'll be okay, honey. Don't worry about me. If we see each other, I'll say hi and make small talk. If we don't see each other, which won't be that hard considering the amount of people that are going to no doubt be there, that'll be okay too."
"All right," mommy nodded, satisfied with his answer, "I'm going to go take a nice long bath."
"Okay," Lex replied, kissing her stomach quickly. Watching her disappear into bedroom, Lex couldn't help but think about tonight. About seeing his old friend again.
He loved his wife, he always had. Since the first time he met her. He didn't realize it right away. Neither did she. He wasted years of his life, their life, being afraid. But in the end, it all worked out. They were happy now, as Pete liked to point out, disgustingly so. Sure their relationship wasn't conventional, but neither had their courtship been. Theirs was one full of bumps and bruises, fumbles and fall, ups and downs, and most importantly, love.
Lex never regretted his decision. His love. He was happier now than
he'd ever been before. He was a husband, a father-to-be, a best friend and least importantly, amazingly enough, a business tycoon.
There were never moments of regrets or second guesses. There were no
thoughts about what could have been. There were no doubts. Only
happiness.
Listening to the sound of water splashing against their bathtub, and
smelling the soft scent of his wife's favorite bubble bath Lex
couldn't help but think about his long lost friend. Their friendship had been so complicated…so twisted. There was no way that it was going to end well, and Lex knew that deep down they both knew that.
Lex loved his wife. He always had and he always would. Till the day
he died. Even after death, his love for his wife would never diminish.
Lex and his wife would greet their old friend tonight and make polite
conversation with the affluent population of Metropolis. They were good at that. Well she was good at that, well, she was goo at making him follow her lead.
"Lex?" His wife's voice drifted from their bathroom.
"Yeah?"
"The water is really nice."
Smirking to himself, Lex kicked his shoes off and jumped to his feet. "Is it now?"
"It is," she called back playfully.
"Are you using up all the hot water?" Lex inquired, pulling his sweater over his head and throwing it behind him carelessly.
"Possibly," she laughed.
"Well, I don't want to take a cold shower."
"No," she agreed, "you don't."
Leaning against the doorjamb, Lex smiled at his flushed wife who looked quite amusing enveloped in a mountain of bubbles. "I think that you're going to have to share the hot water."
Grinning, she made a sweeping motion with her hand and splashed some water out of the tub. "I guess I will, if I have too. Coming in?"
Laughing, Lex nodded eagerly.
***
Nervously twirling the champagne flute between my fingers, I watched out of the corner of my eye for him. Many of the guests had arrived, but he was still missing. In the sea of people that I'd talked to tonight, not one person had been able to hold my attention. I don't think anyone will be able too until I see him.
Self-consciously smoothing down the front of my shirt, I felt my heart speed up when the familiar smooth head came into view. There he was. Grinning, not smirking. He was here. He looked amazing and he was here. Of course, with him came his wife…his very pregnant wife. I'd known of course, (who didn't know?) but knowing wasn't the same as seeing. Whatever denial I'd granted myself, flew out the window the moment Lex wrapped a protective arm around his wife and child. God, I'm going to be sick.
Meeting his eyes across the crowded room, I waited for his eyes to convey his longing and regret. I waited for something to flash across his eyes. Desire, remorse, grief… anything. I held my breath, and waited for him to feel what I was feeling, what I've been feeling for years, but it never came. Lex spotted me and gave me a small smile. One free of yearning and sorrow. His smile was friendly and sincere. He was actually happy to see me, and from the expression on wife's face, so was she.
Gulping the rest of the bubbly champagne, Clark watched the beaming duo walk across the crowded ballroom towards him.
"Clark,"
"Hey Lex." Clark answered, forcing himself to smile, "Hi Chloe."
"Hi Clark," Chloe smiled, a hand absently rubbing her stomach, "You look
good."
Looking down guiltily at the clothes he'd chosen to try to seduce Chloe's husband with, Clark laughed lightly. How ironic was this? "Thanks. You look great. Glowing, even."
"Thanks," Chloe blushed, smiling up at Lex when he gave her a small
squeeze. "How have you been?"
"Good, good." Clark mumbled grabbing another flute of champagne. "I guess congratulation are in order for the two of you. When are you due?"
"Not for another four months." Lex answered, giving Chloe a disgustingly delighted smile.
"There's Lana," Chloe said spotting the bubbly woman across the room, "I'm going to go over and talk to her. I'll let you two catch up."
Almost choking on his champagne, Clark didn't know if he would have
been so trusting if their roles were reversed.
Frowning, Lex reluctantly let go of Chloe's hand. "Be careful. It's crowded in here and people might bump into you…"
"I'll be fine," Chloe laughed, kissing Lex quickly. "It was nice seeing you again, Clark."
"Yeah," Clark replied forcing herself to smile, "you too."
"Take your time," Lex said resisting the urge to go with Chloe and protect her.
Shaking her head at her husband, Chloe made her way through the crowd and was quickly swallowed by the masses of bodies.
"Well," Lex said turning back to Clark.
"Yeah," Clark sighed, quickly drinking his champagne.
"How have you been?"
Looking up at Lex and his genuine curiosity, Clark swallowed his sarcastic answer and shrugged his shoulders. "The same. You?"
"Good," Lex grinned, "Chloe and I are really excited."
"You'll be an amazing father," Clark told him truthfully. He knew Lex would be. He wouldn't just fantasize about "any" man being the father of his children. Oh god, how sick and sad was all of this?
"Thank you. How's working for The Planet?"
"Good," Clark mumbled grabbing another flute of champagne from a passing waiter.
"How do you like Metropolis?"
"Not the same as Smallville," Clark chuckled, his laughter strained, "How did you know I was working at the Planet?"
"I had heard that they offered you a job, and Chloe pointed out your name one day while we were reading the paper." Lex said smiling proudly at Clark, "You're a good reporter."
"Thanks," Clark said feeling his face flush with pride and his lips curl up despite of the throbbing pain in his chest. Lex's grin had always been infectious. "You've been doing good. Business is good."
"It is," Lex shrugged.
"It is?" Clark echoed, surprised by Lex's nonchalance, "That's it?"
"It's just business."
Almost spraying his mouthful of champagne onto Lex, Clark looked up
at him. "What?"
Amused by his reaction, Lex tried not to laugh. "Are you okay, Clark?"
"It's just…" Clark stuttered, "you're being so indifferent about your achievements."
"Business isn't everything," Lex grinned, unconsciously twisting his wedding ring, "I'm more than a business man."
Lex may not have noticed, but Clark sure did. He couldn't feel pain his ass. He was in pain right now. "Since when is business not everything to you?" Clark demanded.
"Since I became a husband and especially since I found out that I was going to be a father."
"I though you always wanted to rule the world one day,"
"What I've wanted has changed," Lex said honestly, "I want to be a good father. I want to be a good husband."
"So you're giving it all up for Chloe?" Clark demanded angrily. He would have never made him choose. He would have supported him…in whatever he did. Lex had the potential to conquer the world. Clark could help him in ways that Chloe would never be able too. In ways no one would ever be able too.
"No," Lex said shaking his head, "I'm giving it up for me."
"For you?" Clark asked confused.
"For me," Lex repeated, not a trace of hostility on his face, "I'm doing it for me. Three years ago, I would have wanted to rule the world, but not now. I have everything I want. I don't need anything else. I'm happy, Clark."
Taking a shaky breath, Clark looked at Lex with an expression of amazement. "You've changed." he whispered sadly.
"I have." Lex agreed. "For the better."
"Yeah?" Clark asked, uncertain.
"Yeah," Lex assured him.
"Lex?" Clark asked nervously wringing him hands, having long ago abandoned his champagne flute out of fear of smashing it into fine dust.
"What?" Lex asked, even though he knew.
Laughing, though he had nothing to laugh about, Clark licked his dry
lips. "Lex…I …I wanted to…I want to tell you…"
Giving him a small smile, Lex told him softly, "I know."
"You know?" he asked feeling shock radiate off of him.
"I do," Lex said nodding, "I always have."
"Always?"
"Yeah."
"Then why…" Clark asked, his eyes flying to Chloe's laughing face.
"Because I love my wife." Lex admitted, following Clark's eyes across
the crowded floor, "Even before she was my wife."
"Oh," Clark said stupidly, his eyes falling to his feet.
"I'm sorry, Clark."
"It's okay," he lied, trying to get his emotions under control.
"I care about you. I always will, but…"
"But you don't love me." Clark finished.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Clark sighed, "It's not your fault."
Grasping his shoulders, Lex made Clark look at him. "One day, you'll make someone really happy. You'll have it too, Clark. You'll find your happily ever after."
Blinking back his tears, Clark pulled himself out of Lex's gentle grasp. "Go find your wife. I know that you're anxious too."
"You going to be okay?" Lex asked, his eyes already searching for his wife.
No. "Yeah, sure."
"Okay," Lex smiled, "I'll see you around Clark."
"Yeah," Clark muttered watching Lex cross the room in record time, "I'll see you around."
***
"Okay, it's official, you're disgustingly beautiful."
Laughing, Chloe turned around and gave Pete a bright smile. "Hey, you came!"
"My company sent me," Pete shrugged, "My boss needed me to come a schmooze
with the finer population of Metropolis."
"Well, we're glad to be of service," Chloe laughed as Pete pulled her into a warm hug.
"Mrs. Sullivan-Luthor," Pete said sharing a smile with Lana, "I don't know how
you do it."
"Do what?" Chloe asked hugging Pete tightly.
"Manage to glow so damn bright." Pete grinned holding Chloe at arms length so that he could get a good look at her.
"Hey, hey," Lex admonished, wrapping his arms protectively around his wife and child, " `She' can hear you, you know."
"No `he' can't." Chloe corrected, leaning back against Lex.
"Mommy should be more concerned about what her baby `girl' hears." Lex pointed out, resting his chin on her shoulder.
Rolling her eyes, Chloe smiled at Lana and Pete. "Seeing how `he' has you for a daddy, I have a feeling that certain choice words are going to be part of `his' vocabulary anyway."
"What are you trying to say?" Lex asked with mock hurt.
"That you're a potty mouth." Chloe teased.
"I am not." Lex replied with mock anger.
"You really are," Lana jumped in, "Isn't he, Pete?"
"Complete and utter potty mouth, our Lex Luthor." Pete deadpanned.
"Are you guys ganging up on me?" Lex demanded.
"Would we have it any other way?" Lana asked hugging Lex quickly.
"Nope," Pete quipped. "Look at you, Chloe. You're willingly carrying Lex Luthor's offspring. You're a brave woman."
"She is, isn't she?" Lana laughed.
Giving Lex a playful smile, Chloe turned back to her friends. "I try."
"I hate you all," Lex muttered, kissing his wife.
"Aw, you know you love us, Lex." Lana laughed raising her champagne glass to Lex.
Rolling his eyes as his friends had a laugh at his expense, Lex intertwined his fingers with Chloe. "Remind me why we're talking to these crazy people."
Grinning up at Lex, Chloe wiped away the smudge of lipstick that she'd left on his lips earlier. "Because deep down, you know you love them."
"I love you." Lex whispered, capturing Chloe's hand and kissing her palm.
"I know," Chloe smiled, "I love you too."
"Okay, okay." Pete yelled breaking the romantic moment, "Cut it out you two, before I puke."
"And that ladies and gentleman," Lana announced, dryly plucking the flute of champagne out of Pete's fingers, "is why Pete shouldn't be given alcohol before he's eaten."
Laughing, Lex wrapped a strong arm around Chloe and spent the night reminiscing with old friends. Yeah, he was one lucky guy.
***
The End.
Ya, I've got no idea where that came from. I've never written a Clex fic before...and really, I think this is as close as I'll ever get. haha. I hope you liked it.
-lucy