Okay... i almost have to apologize for putting this up, but I must compete with the humor of SchmEthan that I've just read (though I doubt he'll read this...) and i realized I don't have any real crude humor up...

Here's the backstory: Three friends (codenamed here as Aklana, Lara, and Maufuki) are the only ones at a slumber party that was originally supposed to have a lot more people about 2 years ago. They're bored. So, they do a story where they each write 3 words. Of course that doesn't work out, and then it goes up to 5, 6, whole sentences. And this rated-R story was born.

Kay, now for the warnings: Doctor Who is in this (chiefly the Doctor and Jack). Characters from my other story, The Doctor Who Experience, are also in this (those characters being Aklana, Lara, Maufuki, and mentioned Laney and Sheldon the tortoise). Harry Potter characters (chiefly Draco and Voldemort) are also in this. This was written about 2-3 years BEFORE Michael Jackson died, so he is also mentioned in this, as well as Jupitarians, Jerry Springer, and THE LARK. Sex happens. Cussing happens. Everyone shouting instead of talking happens. It's only natural.

Anyway... read at your own risk. Good luck!

Signed, tentatively, sonorahugagi

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Jerry Springer, or Michael Jackson. I DO own Aklana, Lara, Maufuki, Laney, Sheldon, the Jupitarians, and THE LARK. So there.

THE RANDOM STORY

Maufuki is retarded. She loves Sheldon. Sheldon isn't a tortoise anymore. He is Draco's rock. Aklana is an odd bird. She thinks she's a flying pimp. Maufuki likes Yaoi and shiny swords. Laney can converge into a sink. She doesn't smell like pie. She has a flatulence problem and 3-nostrils. The Doctor smells like rose beds, but Jack smells very skunk-like. He will eat my Draco's dick because I said so. But Draco will probably like it. He is gay that way.

"Oh god!! He didn't just ejaculate in my mouth!!" Jack yelled. Aklana, Lara, and Maufuki from The Doctor Who Experience fanfic sat, watching while eating popcorn.

"Oh shit the white stuff is coming over here!!" Lara screamed while jumping on her chair.

"Oh my god that's soooooooooooooo hot!" Maufuki yelled.

"And disgusting." Aklana added.

"Oh you fucked my pelvis!!" Draco yelled.

"HOLY SHIT, JACK'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!!!" Aklana screamed, running away.

The Doctor came walking in on the odd scene. Then Maufuki said, "Hey Doc, this three-some is gettin' good!"

"Aklana how could you?! I thought you were MINE!" The Doctor yelled, waving his fists.

"Apparently not!" Lara yelled, grabbing a frying pan and keeping everyone apart.

"Laney, get your head out of the fucking fish bowl!" Maufuki yelled to someone off-camera.

Voldemort walked in, saw Draco, and yelled, "Draco, how could you betray me like this, today of all days?!"

Maufuki shouted, "Well if you're feelin' lonely just go ahead and jump in the show!"

Michael Jackson (who is mysteriously undead) suddenly appeared and someone whispered, "Draco, Run!"

Some Jupitarians walked in and shouted, "All right, just in time for Jerry Springer!!!!!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

We interrupt this broadcast for a special news bulliten: You can rip off their arms and legs!
This commercial was brought to you by Cha-Cha-Cha- Charmin'! and ZOMBIES EAT FLESH!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

(I swear Voldemort is a necrophilliac... and he seems to like Jack a LOT more than he should. I mean, he's in an impossible position!) And now, for something completely different, THE LARK!!!!!

Maufuki slowly popped up from the bottom of your T.V. screen.

"You did NOT hear this from me!"

AND THAT WAS ALL!!!