Sadness and Scones
"What if he was right?"
The question came out of nowhere. Riff looked up from his medical textbook to his master. His very melancholic master. Cain was seated at the window seat overlooking the snow covered garden of his house. One of his legs was propped up on the seat while the other swung on the ground. Cain's arms were wrapped around his stomach, and his head was turned away from Riff. Wearing a plain white shirt and black pants only made his sickly coloured skin more noticeable.
Ever since the debacle with Jezebel, Meredianna, and Emmeline, Cain had been strangely silent. He no longer went on his nightly excursions. Instead he retired to his bed early in the evening. He did not smile as freely as he used to. He did not go out and hunt for more mysteries to solve. The last change was something Riff would have normally approved of but it was so out of character that he could not the worry from creeping into his mind. In the daytime, instead of experimenting with new concoctions, Cain just sat in the library, reading or staring blankly out the window. This new Cain was scaring everyone who knew him well, especially Merryweather. In response to her brother's changed attitude Merryweather seemed to have sunk into herself. She was no longer as carefree as before. Everything she did was designed not to disturb her older brother. Her chattering at mealtimes was noticeably absent. Even Riff felt the difference in the atmosphere of the house.
"Pardon me sir?" Riff was not sure what was meant by his master's question.
"Maybe my father was right after all," Cain's voice was empty of feelings but Riff could sense a hint of bitterness underneath the words, and that unnerved him more than he thought it could.
Riff put down his book silently. "Right about what, sir?" he asked slowly.
"Perhaps I am destined to never feel happiness." The butler froze at those words. Cain had never ever acted like this before. Not since his father's death. Cain's next words shocked him out of his frozen state.
"Do you remember that day?" While it might seem that the question was out of content Riff knew how his master's twisted mind worked. He knew why it was that Cain mentioned that day in the first place. Riff remembered that day very well indeed. There was no way of misunderstanding what Cain was talking about. Only one incident had Cain talking in such a bitter tone.
The day he was talking about was when Cain went to visit his mother, otherwise known to him as his Aunt Augusta. When Augusta saw him, she mistook him for Alexis, Cain's father and killed herself rather than face her tormentor. It was then that Cain found out that she was her mother, the sister of Alexis Hargreaves who had been raped by her own brother and forced to give birth to Cain.
When Cain had come back from the mental institution he had been greeted by a smiling Alexis. His own father tried to poison him with arsenic but luckily Cain had thought ahead and exchanged the arsenic with rose powder, enabling him to know when someone was trying to poison him. And then he in turn poisoned his father with that same arsenic.
"Do you remember what he said to me?" Riff remembered. Alexis was standing on the balcony when he had uttered the words that scarred Cain more than the marks on his back.
You will never find happiness
You will never find love in your life...you will die all alone.
"Perhaps he was right. Perhaps I am destined to die all alone. Unwanted and unnecessary. My only purpose being to poison everyone that has even the vaguest contact with me." Cain's words were so bitter that Riff knew he could no longer ignore the situation. It had been a faint hope of his that Cain would come out of this despair on his own. It was now clear to Riff that he had to do something about Cain's depression before Jezebel Disraeli decided to take another chance at killing Cain.
Riff stood up from his seat and approached his master. Things had to be taken slowly. "What makes you say that?" he asked trying to understand Cain's thoughts. Cain did not turn around even when Riff was standing right beside him. The air of dark despair around his master could almost be felt beating against his skin. At the rate the count was going he would be dead before Jezebel even got started.
"Maybe my father was, for once in his miserable life, right. After all I am all alone now. Alone and unwanted by anyone. I am not only unnecessary but dangerous to those around me. I have come into my birthright as the Poison Count. Won't Alexis be so proud?" A short bitter laugh accompanied the softly spoken words. Riff did not know what to say. They were so self-defeating that he could not help but be shocked. Cain had never been one to give up so easily before.
But Cain had not finished speaking. "Think about it. When have I ever bought happiness to anyone? Shuzette, Julianne, Emmeline, Devon, Aunt Augusta, Drusilla, Eric, and so many more. They all died because they were associated with me. Every time I find happiness, it's out of my reach. Always taunting me with its proximity but never relieving me of my burdens." Riff froze at the almost hysterical tone of his master's voice. Overcoming his hesitation he put a hand on Cain's shoulder. Although the younger man froze he did not shake the hand off, which Riff took as a good sign. The servant knelt down so that he was looking up into Cain's face.
"You mustn't let your father run your life any more Master Cain," Riff said gently as if speaking to the child Cain. "What your father said was all a lie, you know that." For a moment Cain did not move. His shoulder under Riff's hand was as cold as ice. Riff waited patiently. Seconds passed then minutes. Finally Cain sighed.
"I don't want to be alone," he whispered, so softly that Riff wondered for a second whether he had heard correctly.
Riff's eyes filled with shared pain. He knew all too well how his master was feeling. When his family had been killed in a fire he had wanted the same thing. He did not want to be alone. He did not want to have to live the rest of his life as the lone survivor. So because he knew what it was like he did not whip Cain like his father would have, or look at him in contempt as so many of Cain's family might. Instead he rubbed Cain's shoulder gently.
He lowered his voice into a gentle baritone, designed to sooth. "I know that you feel as if you have failed. But you haven't. There are so many people out there who are happier because of everything you have done. Without your intervention Merryweather would have died several times over. Because of you Jack the Ripper stopped stalking the streets of London. And because of you Miss Alice is still alive. Without you justice would never have been served." Riff stopped as he gathered his thoughts. "And you aren't alone. You have Miss Merry, and you have me."
"True, I do don't I?" Though Cain did not turn around Riff sensed the smile in his words. Riff sighed with relief, it seemed that the worst of it was over.
Riff nodded, even though his master couldn't see. "And I would never leave you," he promised to himself as much as to Cain.
Then and only then did Cain turn to face Riff. The servant was struck by how young his master looked. Gone was the confident Count, the vengeful young man, and gone was the charming suitor. Left in their place was the real Cain. The young boy who had never really moved past the treachery of his father. The young boy who still carried the scars of that betrayal close to his heart. And at that exact moment, Riff admitted that he did truly love the young man looking up at him with vulnerable golden eyes. "Never?" Cain asked softly.
Riff smiled softly. "Never," he repeated firmly. And it was true. He would never leave Cain. Not because he had promised, and not because he had nowhere else to go, but because he loved him. And that was a stronger bond than any other that Riff had come across. Cain needed him and that was enough reason for the butler.
The sudden smile stunned Riff. He had never been witnessed to such pure and untainted joy. He had not known that the Count was even capable of such emotions. Never before had Cain smiled at him like that. His heart skipped a beat, and his breath caught. Unknown to him, the corner of his own lips were curled in a smile.
Cain reached over and tugged at Riff's shirt collar. "Good because you're mine Riff and I don't let go of anything willingly," Cain leaned closer till his forehead was against Riff's, "I've caught you and I'm never letting you go."
Serene blue stared into mesmerising gold. "I wouldn't leave even if you ordered me to. I won't ever let go of you either," Riff promised with sincerity, "You belong to me as well sir." A glint of mischief entered his eyes.
An answering gleam came from Cain. "I'm yours am I? You make it sound so sordid Riff." At the light blush on Riff's cheeks Cain laughed lightly and pulled back. His hand released Riff's collar, sliding down to stop just above his heart. "If you ever betray me, I will die." The same promise had been made to the blond haired man before. And like before Riff said nothing. The servant only reached up with his hand and traced the track that the tears would have made if Cain had still been able to cry. Cain understood.
"There is no fear of that sir."
"There'd better not be."
Riff stood up, his legs aching a bit from the strain of crouching on the floor. He extended his hand to Cain. "Would you like some tea now? The cook made some exquisite scones this afternoon. If you like we could eat with Miss Merryweather in the kitchen. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
A carefree laugh came from Cain's lips. "Are you suggesting that we shock the prim and proper servants by eating with them? What a horrendous thought Riff......I like it, it is truly worthy of my servant." Gracefully Cain accepted Riff's hand, letting the elder man pull him up.
The two were standing dangerously close now but neither made to move away. With a small smile Riff placed his lips next to Cain's ear. "Why thank you indeed sir." Riff's words made Cain's smile widen. "Would you let me escort you to your afternoon tea party? I promise not to lead you astray."
"Why sir!" Cain said with mock outrage, "I do believe you are trying to seduce me. Pray tell me what are your intentions. If I decide that they are honourable I would be pleased to come to the fine tea party with you. Were it to be otherwise…I might have to call upon my knight for help."
Riff's face was completely serious but his eyes glinted with humour. He stepped back and bowed. "My intentions are as honourable as yours," he replied, barely able to hide his mirth anymore. He straightened and stared at Cain, his lips twitching.
The two stared, daring the other to fall apart. Seconds passed. Riff was determined not to lose this one. He raised an eyebrow challenging Cain to continue the competition. At the cocky expression on the usually stoic face Cain started to laugh. Riff smiled, pleased by the reaction. "All right Riff, you win."
"I always do," Riff murmured. Cain heard.
"Excuse me! What was that?"
"Nothing my lord," Riff answered, "You must be hearing things."
Cain scowled by the look was ruined by the grin. "Hmph, lead me to the scones servant, let's not waste time with useless chatter."
"As you wish sir."
Cain's laughter echoed in the room, still lingering after the two had left and the door had been closed.
It was a good day for scones.
Owari
A/N: This was another one-shot started very long ago and didn't get finished till now. The relationship between Riff and Cain was somewhat difficult to decipher. Cain has a knight-in-shining-armour complex as does Riff. They're both looking for someone to protect and it hurts them when the person they're trying to protect is hurt. Count Cain is an unusual manga because it's filled with angst that could easily turn to humour. Feel free to disagree. And finally, please RR. I want to know what's right and what's wrong.