Title: An Idiots Guide to Ruining a Foolproof Plan.
Author: Rose; rosenfairy@hotmail.com
Rating: Hmmm not entirely sure on this, but it has a bit of swearing so I am guessing pg13, I am an Aussie though and our system is very different so not sure.
Category: H, R
Spoilers: Everything up to and including both movies.
Timeline: Not long after IOTH
Keywords: JMPR
Summary: Omni back, omni fix stuff.
Author's note: Hi, well this is my first pretender fic, so I am a little nervous here. I wrote this quite some time ago using a character that I created for the sole purpose of fixing a relationship I didn't like in another fandom, and have since used him to fix several other shows and people I didn't like. So the movie created an opportunity for me to do so here. I was a little hesitant to post this one, as after I wrote it I discovered someone else had also written a fic using an Omni and well I'm sure its not a common idea, but after e-mailing them and asking their opinion on the matter here it is. Hope you all like it.
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Here we go again:
I'm Back, back, back, back, and while I would love to say 'its good to be back' I'm, quite frankly, above lying, that's such a human weakness. I want it said, I say it straight, so here we go…… you people are so screwed up, so frightfully stupid, inanely thick I wonder why I even try and help you. Ok so this all leads to why I'm back, why my sorry and yet hideously powerful, drop dead sexy ass is still helping the less fortunate, unpowerful, love struck shmucks of the incredibly simple and annoying human world. The answer is this, I happened to run across two of the lucky people, two of those people who are so smart, so talented and so gorgeous they are like the god's of earth, the ones we created in our perfect image, but without our power. So I'm leaving and I think hey I'll check on them, watch them a little and realize once again how powerful, wonderful and damn great I really am. If I can create something that damn good I must be fucking brilliant, and what do I find…….. Some stupid corporation has corrupted the life of love, power and prestige destined for them and left them as two whiny pathetic, love struck and too emotionally blind to see it losers like the rest of you. This reminds me so much of why I hate this world, you are all so damn busy trying to make your own life perfect you can't just sit back, and watch those who are perfect and by natural selection deserve it, shine. I mean really, I am in awe of just how much you people can get it wrong, you can cancel the pretender, but hell Passions is still on TV. A man can win a speed skating medal for going slow and not falling over, and to top it none off you realized the mistake you made the first time and you voted another Bush in. But I digress, its all on your heads when he decides declaring war against all people who live near the beach, or hell on ground will get him another term in office.
Ok so the people: I think you all realized I meant Jarod and Parker, and no I will not tell you her first name, I wanna……. But there is some stupid rule about how I can't tell you crap that's sacred to a person's soul, blah blah blah, even if she is being an idiot by not telling anyone. But then hey, like I said they are the perfect ones, maybe him only having a first name, and her a last is their way of pointing out that they are above the rest of you, you know without wearing a sign. I should tell them you're too stupid to get that when I get a chance. And the corporation: The center. And while I have the power to and would love to squash the place and kill the old man, and the emphysema ridden ghoul, and that icky man with a penchant for young Chinese women….. Again fate won't let me. She says if I do, she is gonna make me try that crap you people call chocolate and quite frankly I love myself too much.
See there was this scroll… blah blah blah….. Penned from the hand of god, the paw of Satan… you know whatever the old blind lady said, actually it was written by another Omni as a joke for our Christmas party and it accidentally got put in the fate pile…. Mistakes happen, even the perfect are a little off when they are drunk. Well I'm not, but even amongst Omni's there is a huge variance in brilliance and beauty… I must admit I enjoy looking down on the rest of them though.
Anyway, I have to help them; I see it as a duty to the people of this world to at least fix one part of their fucked up lives. The 'them' part. See it works like this, the center can only be destroyed if the two of them are together, its like a cosmic power or something granted to them, but only 'them'… not one of the two, 'them'. That and if I can fix that and get Jarod laid a little more maybe he will stop this whole repressed compassion, do-gooder, heroic, fixing the worlds wrongs, but not for anyone who actually matters, thing. You're made in my image man, forget the little people, that's why they are…. little. I guess that's the plus, the only negative will be if Parker loses that bitchy thing she has happening, man she has a talent for the one-liner, that tongue could damage a man…… Ooooh good thought…… wow… no I will not be weak, I will not show weakness, she's human, ewwwww and she's Jarod's, who btw still has the same sexy hair he had on the island, he finally got the hair thing right we were not letting him change it, some of the female Omni's wanted to make the wet singlet a life long requirement too, but that's just cruel, fun, but cruel.
So anyway, here they are, not together, not happy and both living totally unfulfilling lives that for some damn reason they seem to think are fulfilling. I mean he plays rescue the stupid, the downtrodden, the little guy. She plays stomp on the little guy while trying to put her soulmate back into his own private hell, in the hopes of achieving a final goal she knows they will never give her. Deep down she knows they will kill her, I think its why she unconsciously lets him go, sometimes lets him go willingly, she knows keeping him out there keeps her alive, and she also could never bring him back, the knowledge she had done that to him would kill her. I tried, I really tried with the whole island thing, I orchestrated it perfectly, trapped in a storm, wet clothes, old blind lady to drop hints…it should of worked, it didn't. Where did it go wrong? Firstly it was spose to be the 'devil's storm', the devil mocked that storm, hello heaven sees worse storms than that. They were spose to be trapped in that room, needing to share body heat to survive, but no instead they are running around it. I fired my weather god. Secondly, the old blind lady was spose to help, not hinder… Hello, if you send two people into a room, when its cold and they have the sort of electricity you could use to power a substation, the smart thing to do is stay out of the damn room. The guy who put me onto her was killed, so was she, problem solvered. Ok so this time, I will do it myself, as we all know I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES, its one of the perks of being perfect.
Ok you know the drill, ok no you're human (read stupid) and have forgotten, you see this 'blah blah blah' that's either me telling you what happens, or someone else. You see this 'blah blah blah' and read something smart/witty/sensible you know its me dropping in to impart wisdom on the idiotic in my own friendly, up the people kinda way. Here we go again…..
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Its hard sometimes you know, its like I wander around helping these people, helping them right their wrongs, find their families, be happy… and with every one I help, with every moment longer I spend away from mine I begin to realize I may never have them. (Awwww diddums, genius boy has issues I'm noting, I'm really gonna have to take that ingredient out of the mix for next one. I mean really the 'feel sorry for me, love me, coddle me' thing is kinda pathetic when you're that far above the rest of these sad little excuses for people. I mean here they trying to protect themselves from the glare the spotlights are creating around him and he is expecting support. Dude you stand on their shoulders, asking for more support is a little below you.) But I can't stop helping the little guys, I mean I feel like I owe it to the world, the center took my life from me and used it to affect millions, to bring great wrong on people. Every person I help maybe helps redeem that just a little, maybe helps make the world a better place and undoes the evil I created unwillingly. (Are you crying yet? Cause he's a hero, a big tragic hero, struggling beyond his own downfalls and pain to help the needy hero, I'm not crying but I may need a bucket very soon).
Anyway, here I am, in yet another little town, trying to help yet another young family be reunited after the powers that be pulled them apart and its just kinda getting me down I guess. It kinda, its got nothing to do with the family thing actually, the couple I was helping they were young, happy, vibrant, the parents of two small boys who had been kidnapped and held ransom. The kinda thing I usually love to help with (the kinda thing Mr. do-gooder gets off on you know, hell he's too high and mighty, and on the move to often to actually have a decent sex life, guess he has to get off on something), but every time I saw those two together it just hurt me. You know what, its silly, really silly, but I guess I couldn't help but think……. Maybe, maybe had there never been a center, maybe had we grown up knowing each other, maybe had we shared a first kiss out in the real world, out in a world of freedom, we would be together, and we would be as loving and perfect as these two were. Sad hey, this is the woman who chases my ass across the country, who shoots at me with apparent glee, who finds real joy in taunting me and hurting me (ooooh that's priceless…. Yes she's the one that taunts), and yet I can't stop loving her. (Its not sad, its called fate, and the whole 'no matter how bad she treats you, you can't stop loving her thing' is fate's way of coming back, kicking you in the ass and telling you how it is spose to be. Fate don't care what the hell got in your way, or how badly you fight it, it's gonna win, or it will kill you both reincarnate you and try all over again. I think even stupid genius boy can work out which ways easier and more cost effective in the long run).
Anyway, so the pretend is over, its time to be on my way, this just wasn't the sort of place I could leave without walking through the town one last time. Seeing all the happy families, the bright smiles, the relaxed natures and maybe I guess trying to gain a little of my own childhood back through osmosis. (I am so sickened by the 'feel sorry for Jarod' vibe he is displaying here I am not even gonna comment…. Ok so maybe I gave it to him, that's right, see how noble I am… I am making him stay here and subsequently making myself suffer by listening to his stupid thoughts simply so he will still be here when Parker arrives. She should be here by now, and my suffering should be over, but the stupid jet broke down, you people can't even build good crap now can you and hell I would fly her here myself but making people fly usually gives me away to even the stupid ones). I don't know that I can even imagine how amazing being normal would be, having a mom and dad down the road, a sister who knows my face, a wife who loves me and maybe the cutest little girl who looks exactly like her, but maybe with my eyes, and maybe without the caustic tongue. It's weird, every single one of these people here, would spend there days wondering how to be better, how to not be themselves and all I want to be is them, they wanna be extraordinary and I'd give it all just to be normal. Hell, at least I can say I helped make their normal a little better. (Oh god, I tried the patience thing, I really tried, I tried the grin and bear it thing, and you know what, there are some things not even the perfect can listen to for too long. So too hell with it, the plan has been revised, and whoosh, Parker is flying, Broots is scratching his bald head and staring dumbfounded at the spot she was standing in, Sydney is so busy waxing on about some psycho babble he hasn't noticed. Jarod, well surprisingly Jarod is so caught up in his own self-pity he hasn't even noticed that the park is now gone and he is sitting back in his apartment. Yet another reason why I am almost hoping that when she arrives Parker forgets formalities and simply blows him apart).
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You know Mamma warned me it would happen, she told me that if I let them control me they'd drive me insane, she told me that at 10 and now at 3?……. Well older….. She is finally right. (The bitch has a heart, well not a heart but fear, I guess you'd call it fear. She didn't tell you her age not for the usual pathetic female reason, not for the whole 'if I don't tell them I'm old they mightn't notice the liver spots, wrinkles and spare tyres' reason, but for a much cuter 'my god the bitch is scared' reason. She's 33, the exact age when her Mamma died, the exact age that those bastards started playing her like a piano, and not even to a tune she liked. So she's scared, she won't say it, she won't tell you how much it terrifies her that she finally has the gift her mother died because of and is the getting dangerously close to the age she was when they killed her. Hell no, if she admitted that we all might think she lacks balls. Is it really easy to see I like her better than Jarod? I mean sure she's a bit of a cow, but at least when she's feeling sorry for herself she takes it out on the lesser mortals and doesn't try to absolve herself by helping them).
So one minute I am standing at the hangar, I'm abusing my 'moron', listening to the quack as he persists in making us all witness his mental masturbation, and silently kicking myself for only bringing the one bottle of Smirnoff with me. I figured it would be enough, the plane has a fully loaded Bar, I figured they couldn't annoy me that much before we boarded……. I hate being wrong. So I'm about to grab Broots, take him in a Head lock, grab my kick ass shiny little S&M 9mm and threaten them both to shut the hell up, when I realize they have. I go to thank them, in my own sarcastic way, you know the kind that tells them I shouldn't really have to thank them for finally growing up, when I realize…….. I'm flying. Hell either Mamma was very right about the insane thing, or the one bottle really was enough, cause the only other option is that I'm actually flying and we all know that's about as likely as Broots waking up one day with a full head of hair. (No that one is a little more unlikely, the man is terrified of own shadow, hair doesn't last long with him).
And then I land, because remember I was flying, and am apparently drunker than I've been since college, man I am so betting this is all just Jarod yanking my crank again. He's probably slipped something in my vodka, Wonderboy's immature and oh so nosy little way of trying to show me the error of my ways when it comes to my drinking habits. Or hell, maybe Broots got so sick of me turning him down he decided drugging me would be the only way to get himself laid… either way I'm gonna take my frustration out on the poor bastard anyway. (See this is why I love her, she, unlike that giant romantic peace loving shmuck Jarod, realizes who is below her and therefore worthy of her rage. I mean ok the Center fucked the plan up big time but at least they taught the bitch her place in life. Taught her that stepping on the backs of the normal will save those hideously expensive and oh so sexy 6 inch heels from road grit). I find myself in a living room, or a dining room, or hell even a kitchen. Its one of those tiny little 2 star accommodation places where they can make it cheap to stay there cause they saved money building by forgetting to add those annoying little things they call walls. Either that or the place was built for retards, or Angelo, and walls would have been considered dangerous. I guess I can see why Jarod would like it though, open-plan, the exact opposite of what he spent the first 30 years of his life in. Hell here you may be able to see the kitchen from the door but at least by seeing that he is reminded that tonight's meal won't be being slid through the hole in his cell door.
'Ugh, I'm seeing the labrats point of view'.
"Mamma was right, I'm going insane" I whisper to myself. And given that I'm still kinda thinking this is all a drug induced dream that I'm having while Broots stands nearby and shits himself about the fact that his drug actually worked, I am little shocked to hear someone reply.
"Why Miss Parker? You finally acknowledging that I might indeed to be human too, you should sit down this could hurt."
"Jarod!" I reply, my back still facing him and my voice showing both my joy at finally catching him and yet my apprehension at what exactly the man is going to do to me. But then again, what the hell hasn't he done to me before? Slowly I turn to face him and am stunned to find the poor boy tied to a chair, his arms and legs bound to it and his face showing his absolute fear at what my actions will be.
"Well I guess it really is the thought that counts, isn't wonderboy." I know my face is twisted into a cat who got the cream smirk and I don't care, cause I win, I'm free and he's….. Well who gives a damn? 'You do' a little voice in my head whispers, its Mamma's voice, I know that now, and so I thankfully use one of the pluses of being an adult and simply tell her to shut up, she's not helping. (See the inner sense was spose to help her, unfortunately none of realized that giving her an inner sense and a stubborn bitchy streak could work against us in the long run, so we made it her mother's voice thinking she's a Mommy's girl she'll listen. Wrong again).
"What?" he replies, the fear and hate evident on his face being replaced slightly by confusion and something that I'm guessing is fear about my sanity.
"Well, my birthday's January 3rd Jarod, but this presents so good I don't mind it being late". Walking up to him, I begin to circle his trapped form, grabbing one of the ropes and tugging on it to check its strength, "You're even wrapped just the way I like you. Hell Jarod if you wanted to come back you just had to call; we would have gladly come and done this for you. Btw, what exactly did you drug me with, cause the whole flying thing, I could get used to that."
Suddenly his face falls, and it was already pretty fallen, this is not a good thing. "You flew too?" he whispers, his voice barely intelligible as his minds reels with the implications of this.
"Cute Jarod, not funny, but cute" I snarl, "Ooooh and I guess we were flown here by some omnipotent being to learn the true course of our fates" Sarcasm has always been a pet of mine.
"Got it in one" intones a voice behind me, a voice filled with arrogance, authority and…. Well…… maybe just a little pride.
(Who would of guessed, all these people I've helped and it's the snide genius bitch who gets it right. Ok so she did it in a 'as if' kinda way, but please don't tell me that thought would even pop into your head in a sarcastic way. She's just proven herself to me, hell she even beat lab rat, and now thankgod, I can get back to my perspective).
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I see her look at Jarod, watch his face as his eyes pop open, as his face turns stark white and he grips the arm's of the chair so tight I think his knuckles may break.
"Parker" He whispers "Whatever it is you think someone slipped you, they may have got me too" His head motions my way and she slowly turns to face me. I am now perfectly visible, I've kept a slight hazy transparency, hey even with the genius I sometimes need visual stimuli to give away just how above them I am. Well it is of course helped by the simple fact that I am a God, and I'm not even talking in the literal sense, but the human form of me is a sex god… I'm the embodiment of every female fantasy ever had……. Except people who fantasize over that Jimmy Berluti guy, I just never got that figured they must be prototypes gone wrong.
"Oh I'm sorry" Parker smiles at me, "You must have gotten confused, see this is a private party, ok." And then her gun is raised, pointed at me and cocked.
Oh, remember how I said you sometimes needed the shimmer, hazy thing for the dumb ones, apparently encompasses all of humankind. But oooh a gun, I know I'm shaking in my boots, or I would be if they were real and if I was a scrawny assed human punk. Although the shocked look on her face as the gun flies from her hand and lands in mine is priceless, the words she utters from that mouth kinda make me glad her Mom is dead cause she could never kiss her with that again. And suddenly the bitch is scared, scared but putting on a brave, 'I can take your ass once I work out what the hell you are' kinda face.
"What are you?" Jarod asks, his voice and manner indicating that he is the one of the two of them who is smart enough to work out when they are beaten, Parker's still trying to work out how to take me. For that the boy can have his freedom, I only tied him up in the first place so Parker would do that cute little smirky thing. Mission Accomplished. Now we have two possible scenario's, he could realize why I am here, and save me the trouble by hopping up, grabbing her and having his wicked way with her right here and now……. Or he could jump up, step away from her as fast as possible and begin formulating questions of me. Bet you'll never guess which one he chose…idiot. So I'm still here, he's still looking perplexed, she's still looking at me in a way that make me glad I have the word omnipotent attached to my contract, and well I'm no better off than I was five minutes ago. Wait no, I have a gun, she doesn't have a gun…. Therefore Jarod may just survive this little ordeal… I'm slightly better off. Its time to do some explaining…. May as well find my encyclopaedia of little words.
"What are you?" Jarod asks again, his tone indicating his recovery from the pits of fear and the re-emergence of his inquiring mind.
"I'm everything" I answer, telling it like it is, they'll never understand but hey at least they'll feign understanding and grapple with it… most people just nod, smile and then try and remember their own names.
"You're everything?" Parker mocks…… yes she mocks me… she the small child trapped in the body, actions and world of a grown woman, of a hitman, and yet still wondering where Daddy hid her Christmas present, I should explain that the emotionally needy and unstable really shouldn't mock. "Well aren't we a little sure of ourselves, did you have a mommy like Sydney too? Did he teach you how to be anything you wanna be?" Miss Parker added caustically, she is obviously a little unsure of the situation and obviously not yet ready to give me the respect I deserve, that's fine, sarcastic Parker is my favorite anyway.
"No" I reply, not bothering to play her little game, knowing how this will play out encourages me not to… it will break down into banter, everyone will say something that means everything and somehow it will get completely lost in the sarcastic tones, bitchy comments and teary moments. If you don't believe me I think my point is proven in…. Oh say… every single episode between say… season's 1 and the end of the second movie. Although progress was made in that call, did anyone else note her unconscious use of the term 'our' future… total fore shadowing. Anyway, woah, off track again, I may be perfect, I may be powerful, I may be damn gorgeous, but I digress a little on occasion. On with my explanation.
"Who hangs a hangman?"
"What?" she asks, obviously annoyed.
"It's a rhetorical question" Jarod explains, his face doing this flushed little 'I'm a genius thing' that annoys me, he has this little grin that makes him think he is the only one who knows this little piece of pop culture. I find it hard to believe he has been free for four years and still doesn't realize everyone knows and is bored with the stuff he thinks is 'cool'. But then when you're a four- year old trapped in a man's body it must be hard. "Often asked in conjunction with discussions about the death penalty, there is no answer, or none that isn't followed by a series of questionable facts and moral obligations".
"Wow, you really have been using your time on the outside for something useful haven't you, labrat? If I'd known you were such a valuable font of useful information to the public at large I would just let you go." She replies, sending him one of those patent withering looks combined with a small shake of her head that speaks volumes about exactly how dense she really thinks he is.
"Yes Jarod, thankyou for the helpful commentary, puzzles me how I manage to rule a universe without you. The real reason for the question was it's rhetorical nature, it leads in well to my question of 'Who gives birth to a god, who creates he who is the creator, who is deemed more powerful than the all powerful?" I watch as Jarod's forehead creases in thought and he appears to honestly be trying to figure the damn thing out.
"Rhetorical question Jarod……. You don't have to burst anything worrying about it" Parker intones…….. I've mentioned I love her right, I'm thinking I could get over that whole 'eeewwww, she's human' thing.
"I'm omnipotent, all-powerful, a god. You won't understand it, you'll come closer to it than anyone else I've ever helped, but even you two, even with all the power, strength and smarts we instilled in you could never fathom the true depth of it. But the truth, you humans have simplified us, brought us down to one entity, to one god, the god who did indeed create this world and who allowed us all a place to play. We are not that simple, there are many of us, all with every power imaginable, all with the power, the balls and the luck to be able to play with you people. Your like our pawns, we play, we mold, we put you in the funniest little situations and we watch you get yourself out of it. Humans are to us, what interactive TV is to you…. Except if you annoy us the way those survivor people do, we aren't above crushing you between our pinkies."
"You expect us to believe that you are god, that you are the embodiment of everything humanity has ever pondered, that you are everything we have sought to understand and never been able to." Jarod has an incredible way of stating the obvious doesn't he, I'm beginning to think brain cells may be violent when concentrated, we gave him too many and as a result they are slowly killing each other leaving this incredibly smart parrot in front of me. I mean didn't I just say everything he said.
"There is no god" Parker cuts in with, turning from us and walking toward the door, its obvious I have touched a nerve, and little miss 'I have balls' Parker is going off to cry about it in private…… you know if she cried here we might think her weak.
Slamming the door shut with a simple flick of my wrist, and then locking it while still standing across the room, I hear Jarod asking as if I am forgotten.
"Why? You believed once, your Mamma believed, why do you believe there's no god Parker?" She looks at him as if he's a idiot, her face slowly turning into a smile, one of those sardonic, sad, ironic ones, the kind that is preceded by a tiny laugh and a shake of her head. You know the kind she would give Broots when he's being stupid, or smart, or alive.
"I think the more obvious question is 'why do you think there is, Jarod? Do you really think that if there was a god, if there really were these omnipotent being's up above, if they were really the compassionate and loving souls they are recorded as, do you really think a place like the centre would exist. Do you really think that every single thing we value in life would be taken from us, that my freedom would come at the expense of your's, and your's at the expense of mine. Really Jarod, I've been fucked around a little to much in my life to believe I have someone looking over my shoulder."
"Yeah…….. We're really sorry about that." I reply, knowing she won't take it well, silently preparing myself for a rant, and thanking…. Well myself…. That I can't be hurt.
"What?" they both reply at once. Suddenly I have them both in chairs, I have them both sitting there not restrained, but I think if they tried to move they'd find they mysteriously weigh about the same as a small whale. Its time I explained a few things, hopefully worked a few things out.
"We created you two, in our image, you were our prototypes of perfection, our two individuals created simply so we could spend the rest of your lives watching you, and patting ourselves on the back for our good work. And then someone created the centre, the family we planned to put you in Parker were the founders, and the genes in your blood that indicate your specialness, your perfection, made them want you. You see we aren't the only powerful forces in the universe, sure we play with you, we muck around with your heads, but we're not evil. The centre was created by evil, intermixed with the work of the omnipotent, and destined in such a way so we didn't realize what had happened till I decided to check on you a few months ago. We hoped the island would fix it, it came close, but it didn't."
"Fix it" Parker whispers, her face indicating just how overcome she is with this news, the display of my powers obviously showing her I am for real. Jarod meanwhile looks as if he is gonna pass out.
"The scrolls. You've heard of them, you've never read them, and as much as I know you want to believe you're father jumped out of that plane with them to save your family, he did it to stop you reading them. They were created by one of us; a little joke he played that was accidentally put into play by the forces of fate. They say among other things that the centre shall fall, that it and all its pieces, all its parties shall be silenced and rendered powerless, and they shall be done so by the new forces of power, the forces referred to as 'them'. Always referred to as a couple, because that's the only way it can be. The 'them' is you two, Parker and Jarod, a match literally made in heaven."
I have to stop here, the shocked looked on their faces is enough, I think if I keep going without allowing them a moment to think this over they might die, and I am so above CPR on a human. But hey, at least the shock has rendered them quiet.
"You see, with the two of you together, a new power basis is formed, with a child born of the two of you a new empire is born. These people will look upon you, as a couple, and see all that is power; you are the perfect human pair, the two who shall be deemed above them all. With you together, fate will make the centre fall, it will be your kingdom to rule."
And as I look at their stunned faces, at the stolen glances at each other, at the way somehow their hands have come to rest atop each other as if supplying support, I figure it is my time to go. Quickly I free them so they can move, and I leave, who knows if this will work, who knows if I won't be back next week to try again. Don't worry the stories not over, we're just switching perspectives again. Btw, I've removed the bitchy, superior, child like attitudes for a bit, this is something they have to have the courage to make the first step with for it to proceed, and for that to happen they can't cling to a crutch like that.
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And then he's gone, this man just came, turned my world upside down, and he's just gone. The rational part of my mind believes he was never here, he was merely a hallucination, figment of an overactive imagination come to tell me everything I ever wanted is true. My mind screams that this is all a want, a desire, so etched into my being I am now realizing it will never happen and thus my mind is creating it in the only way it can. Or that's what it is trying to believe, but then its pointing out that he disappeared, he floated, he shimmered and he managed to stun Parker into silence. Now the first few I could accept as tricks of the mind, but the shutting Parker up really is the kicker. I'm here and I'm looking at her, and she's like a little girl lost, her face is so pale, and her body is shaking ever so slightly, those beautiful blue eyes have lost their frozen glare and have taken on a scared, thoughtful and almost soft nature. Simply seeing that tells me she believes it all, or at least believes in what he claimed to be, and well…. That makes me believe it too. I mean come on, if you can convince that woman to believe in the after life, in the omnipotent then surely there is some truth to it, or maybe, probably its mommy telling her to believe, and in that case I have no choice but to believe. (I shoot, I score….. Parker/Jarod none, damn sexy, genius, perfect Omni man one).
"Parker" I whisper her name, over and over, my voice growing louder with each attempt and yet failing to pierce the shell that has grown around her. She is rocking slightly and appears to be almost in a trance, her eyes are alive though, and she occasionally moves as if disagreeing or arguing with herself, and I can only imagine it is the voices. I couldn't imagine it myself, having voices inside your head, voices you can't control, can't quiet, voices that you can only escape if you can focus on something else, and right now she can't. She is trapped in her own mind, listening to, fighting with the voices as, I can only imagine, they reinforce everything just said, as they take it further, as they explain things she isn't ready to know. God, at least I can escape, at least I can focus only on what I can handle and deal with, but she's stuck with it over and over, so close to her, part of herself making her see things she isn't really ready to see. And before I know it I am beside her, my arms are slowly wrapping themselves around her, and pulling her close. My mind screams at me while it warns me of the possible danger I am putting myself in, and then it relaxes as she slowly leans into my arms and holds herself against me, trying in vain to hide from the voices inside her. And that's where for now, it all ceases to move ahead, we don't talk, we don't fight, we just stay near each other providing the comfort and love we know that only the other can offer us, and slowly she drifts off, slowly I follow her. We'll still be here in the morning, we'll still need to talk, but she's been through hell, so have I, we'll sleep, we'll wake up tomorrow with a better understanding of just how fucked up our lives are, and hopefully we'll help each other through it. (Give the genius a prize, here's the smartest man on earth and he is finally working it out… the rest of you have no hope. I'm thinking that at first it may have appeared as if I made a few mistakes with setting these two up, but no see, you guys- you the uneducated masses, the unwashed illiterate humans of the world thought I'd made a mistake. But no, it was all in the plan; I was merely setting them up for a bigger fall so they could rebuild themselves together…. I'll understand if you need to pause your reading for a moment so you can ponder my brilliance and be stunned by my beauty.)
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Have you ever had to put up with a million people talking, all at once, over the top of one another, all saying things you don't want to hear and yet so many with so much force you can't escape it. You should try having the people who are doing it inside your damn head. Its only one person actually, it's Momma, and she's so excited, so happy and so demanding, its like there is one of her for every different emotion her soul is feeling now. All of them telling me to believe this …….thing…… and all in a different way. I want to not believe them, I want to say he was simply a warning of the fact that I should listen when my doctor tells me that vodka should not be used to wash down pills, but I can't. It's not so much even the voices insistence, or Momma's excitement, or her urging to discuss it with him, it's the little flutters I got as he said it. The way my stomach and my nerves told me that everything that Omni said was everything I ever dreamed of, was everything I wanted but refused to let myself acknowledge. It's the way everything he said, every feeling it gave me, just felt right, and the way these arms that now encircle me, this chest I now lean on, the warm breath I can feel on my neck feels like it is something I was born to feel. Or maybe Momma was just right and they really have driven me mad, this is all just some drug induced psychotic dream I'm having while being held in a padded room in a mental institution. That option may seem weird to you, but you have no idea how much I'm hoping it's the truth, I mean hey then if I'm in that and the whole meant to be with Jarod thing is true at least the room is padded. I can have my wicked way with him anywhere I like and not risk personal injury, and besides think of all the uses for a straitjacket. That thought once again makes me think 'man, I hope I'm insane'.
(Damn, now I have conflicting feelings, half of me likes bitchy Parker, but the other half thinks this scared, confused and soft Parker is gorgeous. She's making me wanna care, and its just not right, do I need to explain the whole 'I'm above you' thing again, I don't care I torture…. Why else do you think we invented football).
Anyway, I'm gonna worry about it later, cause right now this cushion is a damn fine one and I have a feeling not sleeping on it would just be wrong, and we all know I don't do wrong.
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We wake, hours later, or at least I do, and I am kind of hoping she will either give me enough time to slowly extract myself from the web that is our arms and legs, or she will give me some kind of sign I am safe before she wakes. I fear for my life right now. She's like an angel when she sleeps though, and my fears are slowly abating as I watch her. Her nose nuzzles itself against my chest, the way her hair falls so gently around her perfect, clear and oh so pale skin and the way her eyelashes fan out so sweetly across her cheeks. I could get used to waking up to this sight every morning, or hell I wish I could at least take a picture so I can remember it, no I'll remember it, its burned so vividly into my mind now. The image of this sweet, innocent woman, so reminiscent of the little girl I loved as a child and yet so much the stunning woman I love now. These thoughts are gonna get me killed you know, I'm gonna die, hell at least I'm gonna be looking at her face when I do, and at least I'll know this was how I spent my last moments. Man, her eyes are opening, I'm gonna die. (No you're not Jarod, I mean sure I know I want you to, I know I'd pay with my power to sit and watch as she rips you limb from limb and shatters your unworldly childlike and oh so annoying innocence in the process……. But again fate won't let me…. She keeps whispering something about chocolate).
"It was real wasn't it?" she asks, her voice surprisingly void of the malice and bitter tone it usually holds. I nod numbly as my brain struggles to contemplate and fully acknowledge the meaning of this. The meaning of that fact that despite waking up, despite being clear headed, well as much as possible in the circumstances, she is still held against me and I am still alive.
And then she's gone, she's up and she's gone, towards the door and out it, her heels are left lying on the floor in a mess of straps, her already incredibly short skirt is hiked up and she is running as if her life depended on it. Do I go after her? No. She'll be back, it's a feeling I know only too well, it's a way of regaining control. Perception is something influenced so greatly by our own views, our own expectations, our beliefs, and here 'Little miss in control' has lost control. Her world is spinning on its axis, everything she thought right, is wrong, everything she thought normal, is suddenly not, its not a pleasant feeling when the world runs from you and thus the running thing. I do it myself sometimes, it means nothing, it affects nothing, but it's a perception thing. The world is leaving her behind and in her mind she tries but can never quite catch it. When you run, when you just forget the world, forget your problems and run, your perception changes suddenly, in your eyes the world is still, the world is unmoving and solid and you are the one running through it, leaving it behind. You are in charge of the world suddenly and you can move through it, it won't move, its you who moves, you who changes it, you who controls the world. She'll be back, she just needs a little time to put it all together and gain a little more control. Besides in bare feet and that skirt she won't get far. (Wow, running to regain control… that's novel, I just blow someone up, run someone over with a truck, or hit a small village with a nuclear weapon and start a war. Ok no I do that for fun, but it's a great stress reliever. Btw, the him knowing her so well thing is… well, I gotta admit it, kinda cute… and makes me wonder how anyone who knows someone that well and is so smart could remain so emotionally dense).
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It's not working; it's never not worked before. But then hey, fucked up as my life has been I guess its never before been fucked with quite like this time. Who the hell am I? What the hell am I? Granted the Jarod thing feels right, I've never before felt the comfort I felt last night, and that's a lot to say considering the shit I just had thrown at me. But 'omnipotent' beings? If its true, why the hell did they take this long to make things right? Why the hell did they allow me to spend 20 years being played by the centre? Twenty years losing everything I ever deemed important and hiding from the one thing I wanted most… my confidante, my friend… Jarod. But now I have the chance to go for it, I don't think I can, imagine the consequences, imagine the hate Daddy would regard me with, I could gain a life and lose it in an instant. But the voices tell me to head back, to stop the world running from me not by chasing it but by making it right, to head back and work things out with Jarod, and for once I listen. (Do ya think putting "Parker finally listens" in bold on the front of every world paper would confuse many people? Cause my god that has gotta be a first, the first time she has ever listened to something worthwhile and not simply replied with the words 'But Daddy said').
He's still sitting there as I re-enter the building, watching the door like a hawk as if he somehow knew I would be back. I had almost expected him to follow me, to confront me and to have to watch on helplessly as we fall into a fight and accomplish nothing. But he didn't, he knew why I ran, I guess the world has spent a lot of years running from him too, and him a lot of years trying to make it be still.
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I look up as I see her enter, my heart leaping at the sad, lost and scared look her eyes hold, my arms wanting to reach toward her, hold her and tell her it will all be ok…… but who really knows if it will be. Before I even realize it, my mouth has made the first move for me, and a thousand unconscious thoughts are resolved with two words.
"I'm sorry"
Her face registers utter shock at my words, as if she cannot fathom what I would have to feel sorry for… of course the shock is tempered with the fact that I could be apologizing for a million things… Strip searches, jail cells, the flu… ok I get it I'm a child.
"Your what? Why?" And as she says that, my unconscious guilt is brought to a head, is suddenly so incredibly conscious, so close to me I can do nothing but tell her all, and hope she forgives me.
"I know why you run, and I know you shouldn't have too. I've watched you, you know, I've seen the way you do it. The way you'll come home some days and just take off again, running till you collapse in exhaustion, trying so hard to catch up, to take control of a world, a truth that won't let you near it. I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry for the fact that my world is fucked up Jarod. Does everything revolve around you now, is the simple fact I run a bit because of you too, I spose the unique rhythm I run with is my unconscious way of showing an undying love for you or something. The whole world is not about you Jarod, it doesn't revolve because of you."
Ok that hurt, but I see her point, I need to move on, I need to clarify. (Now isn't that a novel thought…. Idiot).
"I should of taken you with me", her eyes fall, her lips quivers and she shows me exactly how much she wanted this, hopefully 'wants' this, "We'd be on the run but at least you'd be free. I run too, I run to catch up, to make the world stop, but I don't have to so much now. They can't play me, I'm free, you still chase me, you still hound me, I still don't know who I am, or where I come from but at least I have the freedom to be the me I know. I never realized Parker, I thought because you were one of them, because Daddy was there you'd be safe, I never even thought about what that was doing to you. I don't know me, but neither do you know yourself, I don't know who I am family wise, biologically, but I know ME… you know who your family are, you know the you they want you to be, but you've never been allowed to be you. It was selfish of me to not realize that".
I look up, and she's crying, silent tears trek warily down her cheeks, her shoulders shake with suppressed sobs and her body seems so small and weak, so much not the powerful strong women I usually see.
"That's why I hated you, I could never catch you, never put you back there, but I wanted you to suffer a little. I hated the fact that you had gained freedom in a sense, the freedom to be you, and I was still trapped, still a puppet in the centre's show. I'm sorry I chased you, I'm sorry I made your life hell, but even the life they offered me was better than the life they offered my mother."
Silently I stand and walk to her, my arms find their way around her, and I pull her close, sighing in contentment as her head buries into my shoulder I feel the warmth of her tears on my neck. This still has a while to go, we have a small understanding, a tiny fragment of what I want, but right now I think we both need a moment.
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He's holding me, I'm still crying, and the world is still running, but a little slower. I could get used to him holding me. But we need to talk, the Omni said we were destined to be a couple, and hell yeah I'd like that, but we have a lifetime of issues to deal with, and a lifetime more consequences to think of.
"Why'd you never disappear?" I whisper, "Why stay close? Why taunt? I know you could disappear Jarod".
He pulls back and looks at me, the deep brown pools of emotion he has for eyes search mine in wonder as he ponders the question. And then he breaks into a tiny smile, a small cocky grin, a self assured and know it all face that I would normally hate but right now I find it adorable. (And this is what I hate, the whole falling in love thing, the whole so sweet, its all words, tell them what they mean crap thing. Hello. I don't care, the scrolls say 'them' as in two of you together, I'm pretty sure that if you drop the cutesy thing and just get down and dirty on the floor right now and solve this the old fashioned, the good ole non thinking way it would technically still work).
"Gestalt" he replies, one word, one damn word meant that much to him, stupid damn thing means nothing to me. And I am left wondering if this boys stupid know it all and expects me to as well thing is gonna have to be beaten out of him cause I could do that. (And I'd be happy to….. just say the word sweetie).
He must see my lack of understanding and is quick to continue before he gets to witness my impressive right hook up close and personal.
"It's a psychological theory, dealing with sensation and perception consisting of six different theories for perception of stimuli" Seeing the clenching of my fist he quickly places his hand on my arm and continues with the explanation.
"The second of which is proximity" The hand is shaken off my arm, if he doesn't get to the point soon the boy is going down, and not in a good way.
Seeing this he finally gets to his point.
"Proximity states that things near one another belong together. I guess its my round about way of saying I couldn't leave because I always felt we belonged together. If I left, disappeared, that feeling would, according to the principle, leave me. I had to be near you so I could always keep an eye on you, keep you safe and know you belonged with me." I am silent in response and he takes his as a bad sign. "I know, stupid huh. I just, you were all I had as a child, I dreamt of having everything, having more, and yet when I did none of it meant anything cause you weren't there too. But you were changed, different, so cold and bitter, I would of come back just for the little girl who kept me sane but she was long gone and all I could do was hang around and hope she returned to me."
Reaching up he wiped the tears from my eye, leaving his hand momentarily on my cheek and allowing me the time to reach up and place my own hand over it, squeezing it gently and telling him that I understood and agreed. Telling him that in the only way I could since my voice had long since ceased to operate. His hand pulls away, but my hand holds it still, holds it in contact with me and thus my face goes with his hand, pulling me ever closer to him. Suddenly it is as if we are in front of that fire again, our faces are so close, I can feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek, see the raw emotion and love in his eyes and this time I do not pull away. Instead I move forward, pressing myself closer to him and raising my chin so our lips meet. A short chaste kiss, so reminiscent of the one shared a lifetime ago in an innocent and beautiful world, a kiss that returns to me that innocence and beauty. A kiss that promises everything, and with which the Omni's words rebound around us and we know that together the world is ours, and the centre is dead.
There is still talking to be done, and I know it will be weeks, months, before we make a move on the centre, weeks, months spent reclaiming 20 years or more, and finding our own path and future in life. I know I can't wait.
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In the end it all seemed so simple, a few words, a life time of repressed feelings, a hurried explanation and then a kiss that promised the world and delivered with that promise the means to obtain it. I reach for her now, hold her tighter against me, run my fingers through her hair and search those beautiful eyes, those bottomless pits of emotion and try to ascertain if she feels the same way. In an instant I know she does and I lean into her and once again claim her lips, deepen the kiss and pull her tighter against me still. While I silently say thanks to that Omni, the one genius, the one powerful, beautiful and perfect being who has in one night given me everything I ever dreamed of.
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And to think I said I didn't like him…… the boy ain't a genius for nothing is he… I mean sure it don't take much to see how brilliant I really am, one look and even the stupidest of you know I'm something special, but still….. Good Jarod. Now you humans seem to have a one track mind, cause at the end of every single one of these I have to stop letting the people tell their own story because well it quickly becomes the sort of story that is gonna earn this story a rating. When I say I watch them, when I say I can see everything I mean it in a not really kinda way, I mean some stuff I just don't wanna see…. Unfortunately I can still hear it and well lets just say the ending to this story will be a positive one. Remember I said the new era started with their child….. The way they are going I'm guessing we don't have long to wait. Anyhoo, I am really leaving you, the story is done, the ending is…. Well not an ending but as far as I am gonna take you….. I will give you a few hints, any gifts sent should be blue, preferably soft and fuzzy and in the shape if toy animals. Mail addressed to the centre will now be returned 'Addressee does not exist' and the centre plot now has three new graves. They are marked by the burnt out hull of an oxygen tank (seems syd's aim is improving), a small but beautiful Japanese dragon figure (Tanaka and his men were not to happy when they found out about Lyle and his like of 'tastes of the orient') and a ripped Parachute….. I think you can guess the occupants of those.
So now I am done, the world is once again a happy place, and while we all know fate can be fickle and things could change, they won't. These two have all the power, prestige and loved owed to them by a world forever indebted to them for the destruction of that place, and by the perfection bestowed on them by us. And now I leave, I am done, from now on I shan't be back… I know I still haven't fixed the Mulder/Scully issue, but the show is over, Chris Carter did an ok job himself with that and well with the show gone its not like you'll see it anyway……..So bai bai…. Wave goodbye to brilliance people, this is the last time I help you out. I'm all good deeded out, if gods could die and we had a god-heaven and god-hell I'd be a shoo in. Good luck sorting it all out yourself, I'm sure you can do it, hell it might even inspire you all to discover thinking and then not being so stuffed up will be a little easier.
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And that's it. Hope you liked it.
Author: Rose; rosenfairy@hotmail.com
Rating: Hmmm not entirely sure on this, but it has a bit of swearing so I am guessing pg13, I am an Aussie though and our system is very different so not sure.
Category: H, R
Spoilers: Everything up to and including both movies.
Timeline: Not long after IOTH
Keywords: JMPR
Summary: Omni back, omni fix stuff.
Author's note: Hi, well this is my first pretender fic, so I am a little nervous here. I wrote this quite some time ago using a character that I created for the sole purpose of fixing a relationship I didn't like in another fandom, and have since used him to fix several other shows and people I didn't like. So the movie created an opportunity for me to do so here. I was a little hesitant to post this one, as after I wrote it I discovered someone else had also written a fic using an Omni and well I'm sure its not a common idea, but after e-mailing them and asking their opinion on the matter here it is. Hope you all like it.
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Here we go again:
I'm Back, back, back, back, and while I would love to say 'its good to be back' I'm, quite frankly, above lying, that's such a human weakness. I want it said, I say it straight, so here we go…… you people are so screwed up, so frightfully stupid, inanely thick I wonder why I even try and help you. Ok so this all leads to why I'm back, why my sorry and yet hideously powerful, drop dead sexy ass is still helping the less fortunate, unpowerful, love struck shmucks of the incredibly simple and annoying human world. The answer is this, I happened to run across two of the lucky people, two of those people who are so smart, so talented and so gorgeous they are like the god's of earth, the ones we created in our perfect image, but without our power. So I'm leaving and I think hey I'll check on them, watch them a little and realize once again how powerful, wonderful and damn great I really am. If I can create something that damn good I must be fucking brilliant, and what do I find…….. Some stupid corporation has corrupted the life of love, power and prestige destined for them and left them as two whiny pathetic, love struck and too emotionally blind to see it losers like the rest of you. This reminds me so much of why I hate this world, you are all so damn busy trying to make your own life perfect you can't just sit back, and watch those who are perfect and by natural selection deserve it, shine. I mean really, I am in awe of just how much you people can get it wrong, you can cancel the pretender, but hell Passions is still on TV. A man can win a speed skating medal for going slow and not falling over, and to top it none off you realized the mistake you made the first time and you voted another Bush in. But I digress, its all on your heads when he decides declaring war against all people who live near the beach, or hell on ground will get him another term in office.
Ok so the people: I think you all realized I meant Jarod and Parker, and no I will not tell you her first name, I wanna……. But there is some stupid rule about how I can't tell you crap that's sacred to a person's soul, blah blah blah, even if she is being an idiot by not telling anyone. But then hey, like I said they are the perfect ones, maybe him only having a first name, and her a last is their way of pointing out that they are above the rest of you, you know without wearing a sign. I should tell them you're too stupid to get that when I get a chance. And the corporation: The center. And while I have the power to and would love to squash the place and kill the old man, and the emphysema ridden ghoul, and that icky man with a penchant for young Chinese women….. Again fate won't let me. She says if I do, she is gonna make me try that crap you people call chocolate and quite frankly I love myself too much.
See there was this scroll… blah blah blah….. Penned from the hand of god, the paw of Satan… you know whatever the old blind lady said, actually it was written by another Omni as a joke for our Christmas party and it accidentally got put in the fate pile…. Mistakes happen, even the perfect are a little off when they are drunk. Well I'm not, but even amongst Omni's there is a huge variance in brilliance and beauty… I must admit I enjoy looking down on the rest of them though.
Anyway, I have to help them; I see it as a duty to the people of this world to at least fix one part of their fucked up lives. The 'them' part. See it works like this, the center can only be destroyed if the two of them are together, its like a cosmic power or something granted to them, but only 'them'… not one of the two, 'them'. That and if I can fix that and get Jarod laid a little more maybe he will stop this whole repressed compassion, do-gooder, heroic, fixing the worlds wrongs, but not for anyone who actually matters, thing. You're made in my image man, forget the little people, that's why they are…. little. I guess that's the plus, the only negative will be if Parker loses that bitchy thing she has happening, man she has a talent for the one-liner, that tongue could damage a man…… Ooooh good thought…… wow… no I will not be weak, I will not show weakness, she's human, ewwwww and she's Jarod's, who btw still has the same sexy hair he had on the island, he finally got the hair thing right we were not letting him change it, some of the female Omni's wanted to make the wet singlet a life long requirement too, but that's just cruel, fun, but cruel.
So anyway, here they are, not together, not happy and both living totally unfulfilling lives that for some damn reason they seem to think are fulfilling. I mean he plays rescue the stupid, the downtrodden, the little guy. She plays stomp on the little guy while trying to put her soulmate back into his own private hell, in the hopes of achieving a final goal she knows they will never give her. Deep down she knows they will kill her, I think its why she unconsciously lets him go, sometimes lets him go willingly, she knows keeping him out there keeps her alive, and she also could never bring him back, the knowledge she had done that to him would kill her. I tried, I really tried with the whole island thing, I orchestrated it perfectly, trapped in a storm, wet clothes, old blind lady to drop hints…it should of worked, it didn't. Where did it go wrong? Firstly it was spose to be the 'devil's storm', the devil mocked that storm, hello heaven sees worse storms than that. They were spose to be trapped in that room, needing to share body heat to survive, but no instead they are running around it. I fired my weather god. Secondly, the old blind lady was spose to help, not hinder… Hello, if you send two people into a room, when its cold and they have the sort of electricity you could use to power a substation, the smart thing to do is stay out of the damn room. The guy who put me onto her was killed, so was she, problem solvered. Ok so this time, I will do it myself, as we all know I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES, its one of the perks of being perfect.
Ok you know the drill, ok no you're human (read stupid) and have forgotten, you see this 'blah blah blah' that's either me telling you what happens, or someone else. You see this 'blah blah blah' and read something smart/witty/sensible you know its me dropping in to impart wisdom on the idiotic in my own friendly, up the people kinda way. Here we go again…..
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Its hard sometimes you know, its like I wander around helping these people, helping them right their wrongs, find their families, be happy… and with every one I help, with every moment longer I spend away from mine I begin to realize I may never have them. (Awwww diddums, genius boy has issues I'm noting, I'm really gonna have to take that ingredient out of the mix for next one. I mean really the 'feel sorry for me, love me, coddle me' thing is kinda pathetic when you're that far above the rest of these sad little excuses for people. I mean here they trying to protect themselves from the glare the spotlights are creating around him and he is expecting support. Dude you stand on their shoulders, asking for more support is a little below you.) But I can't stop helping the little guys, I mean I feel like I owe it to the world, the center took my life from me and used it to affect millions, to bring great wrong on people. Every person I help maybe helps redeem that just a little, maybe helps make the world a better place and undoes the evil I created unwillingly. (Are you crying yet? Cause he's a hero, a big tragic hero, struggling beyond his own downfalls and pain to help the needy hero, I'm not crying but I may need a bucket very soon).
Anyway, here I am, in yet another little town, trying to help yet another young family be reunited after the powers that be pulled them apart and its just kinda getting me down I guess. It kinda, its got nothing to do with the family thing actually, the couple I was helping they were young, happy, vibrant, the parents of two small boys who had been kidnapped and held ransom. The kinda thing I usually love to help with (the kinda thing Mr. do-gooder gets off on you know, hell he's too high and mighty, and on the move to often to actually have a decent sex life, guess he has to get off on something), but every time I saw those two together it just hurt me. You know what, its silly, really silly, but I guess I couldn't help but think……. Maybe, maybe had there never been a center, maybe had we grown up knowing each other, maybe had we shared a first kiss out in the real world, out in a world of freedom, we would be together, and we would be as loving and perfect as these two were. Sad hey, this is the woman who chases my ass across the country, who shoots at me with apparent glee, who finds real joy in taunting me and hurting me (ooooh that's priceless…. Yes she's the one that taunts), and yet I can't stop loving her. (Its not sad, its called fate, and the whole 'no matter how bad she treats you, you can't stop loving her thing' is fate's way of coming back, kicking you in the ass and telling you how it is spose to be. Fate don't care what the hell got in your way, or how badly you fight it, it's gonna win, or it will kill you both reincarnate you and try all over again. I think even stupid genius boy can work out which ways easier and more cost effective in the long run).
Anyway, so the pretend is over, its time to be on my way, this just wasn't the sort of place I could leave without walking through the town one last time. Seeing all the happy families, the bright smiles, the relaxed natures and maybe I guess trying to gain a little of my own childhood back through osmosis. (I am so sickened by the 'feel sorry for Jarod' vibe he is displaying here I am not even gonna comment…. Ok so maybe I gave it to him, that's right, see how noble I am… I am making him stay here and subsequently making myself suffer by listening to his stupid thoughts simply so he will still be here when Parker arrives. She should be here by now, and my suffering should be over, but the stupid jet broke down, you people can't even build good crap now can you and hell I would fly her here myself but making people fly usually gives me away to even the stupid ones). I don't know that I can even imagine how amazing being normal would be, having a mom and dad down the road, a sister who knows my face, a wife who loves me and maybe the cutest little girl who looks exactly like her, but maybe with my eyes, and maybe without the caustic tongue. It's weird, every single one of these people here, would spend there days wondering how to be better, how to not be themselves and all I want to be is them, they wanna be extraordinary and I'd give it all just to be normal. Hell, at least I can say I helped make their normal a little better. (Oh god, I tried the patience thing, I really tried, I tried the grin and bear it thing, and you know what, there are some things not even the perfect can listen to for too long. So too hell with it, the plan has been revised, and whoosh, Parker is flying, Broots is scratching his bald head and staring dumbfounded at the spot she was standing in, Sydney is so busy waxing on about some psycho babble he hasn't noticed. Jarod, well surprisingly Jarod is so caught up in his own self-pity he hasn't even noticed that the park is now gone and he is sitting back in his apartment. Yet another reason why I am almost hoping that when she arrives Parker forgets formalities and simply blows him apart).
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You know Mamma warned me it would happen, she told me that if I let them control me they'd drive me insane, she told me that at 10 and now at 3?……. Well older….. She is finally right. (The bitch has a heart, well not a heart but fear, I guess you'd call it fear. She didn't tell you her age not for the usual pathetic female reason, not for the whole 'if I don't tell them I'm old they mightn't notice the liver spots, wrinkles and spare tyres' reason, but for a much cuter 'my god the bitch is scared' reason. She's 33, the exact age when her Mamma died, the exact age that those bastards started playing her like a piano, and not even to a tune she liked. So she's scared, she won't say it, she won't tell you how much it terrifies her that she finally has the gift her mother died because of and is the getting dangerously close to the age she was when they killed her. Hell no, if she admitted that we all might think she lacks balls. Is it really easy to see I like her better than Jarod? I mean sure she's a bit of a cow, but at least when she's feeling sorry for herself she takes it out on the lesser mortals and doesn't try to absolve herself by helping them).
So one minute I am standing at the hangar, I'm abusing my 'moron', listening to the quack as he persists in making us all witness his mental masturbation, and silently kicking myself for only bringing the one bottle of Smirnoff with me. I figured it would be enough, the plane has a fully loaded Bar, I figured they couldn't annoy me that much before we boarded……. I hate being wrong. So I'm about to grab Broots, take him in a Head lock, grab my kick ass shiny little S&M 9mm and threaten them both to shut the hell up, when I realize they have. I go to thank them, in my own sarcastic way, you know the kind that tells them I shouldn't really have to thank them for finally growing up, when I realize…….. I'm flying. Hell either Mamma was very right about the insane thing, or the one bottle really was enough, cause the only other option is that I'm actually flying and we all know that's about as likely as Broots waking up one day with a full head of hair. (No that one is a little more unlikely, the man is terrified of own shadow, hair doesn't last long with him).
And then I land, because remember I was flying, and am apparently drunker than I've been since college, man I am so betting this is all just Jarod yanking my crank again. He's probably slipped something in my vodka, Wonderboy's immature and oh so nosy little way of trying to show me the error of my ways when it comes to my drinking habits. Or hell, maybe Broots got so sick of me turning him down he decided drugging me would be the only way to get himself laid… either way I'm gonna take my frustration out on the poor bastard anyway. (See this is why I love her, she, unlike that giant romantic peace loving shmuck Jarod, realizes who is below her and therefore worthy of her rage. I mean ok the Center fucked the plan up big time but at least they taught the bitch her place in life. Taught her that stepping on the backs of the normal will save those hideously expensive and oh so sexy 6 inch heels from road grit). I find myself in a living room, or a dining room, or hell even a kitchen. Its one of those tiny little 2 star accommodation places where they can make it cheap to stay there cause they saved money building by forgetting to add those annoying little things they call walls. Either that or the place was built for retards, or Angelo, and walls would have been considered dangerous. I guess I can see why Jarod would like it though, open-plan, the exact opposite of what he spent the first 30 years of his life in. Hell here you may be able to see the kitchen from the door but at least by seeing that he is reminded that tonight's meal won't be being slid through the hole in his cell door.
'Ugh, I'm seeing the labrats point of view'.
"Mamma was right, I'm going insane" I whisper to myself. And given that I'm still kinda thinking this is all a drug induced dream that I'm having while Broots stands nearby and shits himself about the fact that his drug actually worked, I am little shocked to hear someone reply.
"Why Miss Parker? You finally acknowledging that I might indeed to be human too, you should sit down this could hurt."
"Jarod!" I reply, my back still facing him and my voice showing both my joy at finally catching him and yet my apprehension at what exactly the man is going to do to me. But then again, what the hell hasn't he done to me before? Slowly I turn to face him and am stunned to find the poor boy tied to a chair, his arms and legs bound to it and his face showing his absolute fear at what my actions will be.
"Well I guess it really is the thought that counts, isn't wonderboy." I know my face is twisted into a cat who got the cream smirk and I don't care, cause I win, I'm free and he's….. Well who gives a damn? 'You do' a little voice in my head whispers, its Mamma's voice, I know that now, and so I thankfully use one of the pluses of being an adult and simply tell her to shut up, she's not helping. (See the inner sense was spose to help her, unfortunately none of realized that giving her an inner sense and a stubborn bitchy streak could work against us in the long run, so we made it her mother's voice thinking she's a Mommy's girl she'll listen. Wrong again).
"What?" he replies, the fear and hate evident on his face being replaced slightly by confusion and something that I'm guessing is fear about my sanity.
"Well, my birthday's January 3rd Jarod, but this presents so good I don't mind it being late". Walking up to him, I begin to circle his trapped form, grabbing one of the ropes and tugging on it to check its strength, "You're even wrapped just the way I like you. Hell Jarod if you wanted to come back you just had to call; we would have gladly come and done this for you. Btw, what exactly did you drug me with, cause the whole flying thing, I could get used to that."
Suddenly his face falls, and it was already pretty fallen, this is not a good thing. "You flew too?" he whispers, his voice barely intelligible as his minds reels with the implications of this.
"Cute Jarod, not funny, but cute" I snarl, "Ooooh and I guess we were flown here by some omnipotent being to learn the true course of our fates" Sarcasm has always been a pet of mine.
"Got it in one" intones a voice behind me, a voice filled with arrogance, authority and…. Well…… maybe just a little pride.
(Who would of guessed, all these people I've helped and it's the snide genius bitch who gets it right. Ok so she did it in a 'as if' kinda way, but please don't tell me that thought would even pop into your head in a sarcastic way. She's just proven herself to me, hell she even beat lab rat, and now thankgod, I can get back to my perspective).
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I see her look at Jarod, watch his face as his eyes pop open, as his face turns stark white and he grips the arm's of the chair so tight I think his knuckles may break.
"Parker" He whispers "Whatever it is you think someone slipped you, they may have got me too" His head motions my way and she slowly turns to face me. I am now perfectly visible, I've kept a slight hazy transparency, hey even with the genius I sometimes need visual stimuli to give away just how above them I am. Well it is of course helped by the simple fact that I am a God, and I'm not even talking in the literal sense, but the human form of me is a sex god… I'm the embodiment of every female fantasy ever had……. Except people who fantasize over that Jimmy Berluti guy, I just never got that figured they must be prototypes gone wrong.
"Oh I'm sorry" Parker smiles at me, "You must have gotten confused, see this is a private party, ok." And then her gun is raised, pointed at me and cocked.
Oh, remember how I said you sometimes needed the shimmer, hazy thing for the dumb ones, apparently encompasses all of humankind. But oooh a gun, I know I'm shaking in my boots, or I would be if they were real and if I was a scrawny assed human punk. Although the shocked look on her face as the gun flies from her hand and lands in mine is priceless, the words she utters from that mouth kinda make me glad her Mom is dead cause she could never kiss her with that again. And suddenly the bitch is scared, scared but putting on a brave, 'I can take your ass once I work out what the hell you are' kinda face.
"What are you?" Jarod asks, his voice and manner indicating that he is the one of the two of them who is smart enough to work out when they are beaten, Parker's still trying to work out how to take me. For that the boy can have his freedom, I only tied him up in the first place so Parker would do that cute little smirky thing. Mission Accomplished. Now we have two possible scenario's, he could realize why I am here, and save me the trouble by hopping up, grabbing her and having his wicked way with her right here and now……. Or he could jump up, step away from her as fast as possible and begin formulating questions of me. Bet you'll never guess which one he chose…idiot. So I'm still here, he's still looking perplexed, she's still looking at me in a way that make me glad I have the word omnipotent attached to my contract, and well I'm no better off than I was five minutes ago. Wait no, I have a gun, she doesn't have a gun…. Therefore Jarod may just survive this little ordeal… I'm slightly better off. Its time to do some explaining…. May as well find my encyclopaedia of little words.
"What are you?" Jarod asks again, his tone indicating his recovery from the pits of fear and the re-emergence of his inquiring mind.
"I'm everything" I answer, telling it like it is, they'll never understand but hey at least they'll feign understanding and grapple with it… most people just nod, smile and then try and remember their own names.
"You're everything?" Parker mocks…… yes she mocks me… she the small child trapped in the body, actions and world of a grown woman, of a hitman, and yet still wondering where Daddy hid her Christmas present, I should explain that the emotionally needy and unstable really shouldn't mock. "Well aren't we a little sure of ourselves, did you have a mommy like Sydney too? Did he teach you how to be anything you wanna be?" Miss Parker added caustically, she is obviously a little unsure of the situation and obviously not yet ready to give me the respect I deserve, that's fine, sarcastic Parker is my favorite anyway.
"No" I reply, not bothering to play her little game, knowing how this will play out encourages me not to… it will break down into banter, everyone will say something that means everything and somehow it will get completely lost in the sarcastic tones, bitchy comments and teary moments. If you don't believe me I think my point is proven in…. Oh say… every single episode between say… season's 1 and the end of the second movie. Although progress was made in that call, did anyone else note her unconscious use of the term 'our' future… total fore shadowing. Anyway, woah, off track again, I may be perfect, I may be powerful, I may be damn gorgeous, but I digress a little on occasion. On with my explanation.
"Who hangs a hangman?"
"What?" she asks, obviously annoyed.
"It's a rhetorical question" Jarod explains, his face doing this flushed little 'I'm a genius thing' that annoys me, he has this little grin that makes him think he is the only one who knows this little piece of pop culture. I find it hard to believe he has been free for four years and still doesn't realize everyone knows and is bored with the stuff he thinks is 'cool'. But then when you're a four- year old trapped in a man's body it must be hard. "Often asked in conjunction with discussions about the death penalty, there is no answer, or none that isn't followed by a series of questionable facts and moral obligations".
"Wow, you really have been using your time on the outside for something useful haven't you, labrat? If I'd known you were such a valuable font of useful information to the public at large I would just let you go." She replies, sending him one of those patent withering looks combined with a small shake of her head that speaks volumes about exactly how dense she really thinks he is.
"Yes Jarod, thankyou for the helpful commentary, puzzles me how I manage to rule a universe without you. The real reason for the question was it's rhetorical nature, it leads in well to my question of 'Who gives birth to a god, who creates he who is the creator, who is deemed more powerful than the all powerful?" I watch as Jarod's forehead creases in thought and he appears to honestly be trying to figure the damn thing out.
"Rhetorical question Jarod……. You don't have to burst anything worrying about it" Parker intones…….. I've mentioned I love her right, I'm thinking I could get over that whole 'eeewwww, she's human' thing.
"I'm omnipotent, all-powerful, a god. You won't understand it, you'll come closer to it than anyone else I've ever helped, but even you two, even with all the power, strength and smarts we instilled in you could never fathom the true depth of it. But the truth, you humans have simplified us, brought us down to one entity, to one god, the god who did indeed create this world and who allowed us all a place to play. We are not that simple, there are many of us, all with every power imaginable, all with the power, the balls and the luck to be able to play with you people. Your like our pawns, we play, we mold, we put you in the funniest little situations and we watch you get yourself out of it. Humans are to us, what interactive TV is to you…. Except if you annoy us the way those survivor people do, we aren't above crushing you between our pinkies."
"You expect us to believe that you are god, that you are the embodiment of everything humanity has ever pondered, that you are everything we have sought to understand and never been able to." Jarod has an incredible way of stating the obvious doesn't he, I'm beginning to think brain cells may be violent when concentrated, we gave him too many and as a result they are slowly killing each other leaving this incredibly smart parrot in front of me. I mean didn't I just say everything he said.
"There is no god" Parker cuts in with, turning from us and walking toward the door, its obvious I have touched a nerve, and little miss 'I have balls' Parker is going off to cry about it in private…… you know if she cried here we might think her weak.
Slamming the door shut with a simple flick of my wrist, and then locking it while still standing across the room, I hear Jarod asking as if I am forgotten.
"Why? You believed once, your Mamma believed, why do you believe there's no god Parker?" She looks at him as if he's a idiot, her face slowly turning into a smile, one of those sardonic, sad, ironic ones, the kind that is preceded by a tiny laugh and a shake of her head. You know the kind she would give Broots when he's being stupid, or smart, or alive.
"I think the more obvious question is 'why do you think there is, Jarod? Do you really think that if there was a god, if there really were these omnipotent being's up above, if they were really the compassionate and loving souls they are recorded as, do you really think a place like the centre would exist. Do you really think that every single thing we value in life would be taken from us, that my freedom would come at the expense of your's, and your's at the expense of mine. Really Jarod, I've been fucked around a little to much in my life to believe I have someone looking over my shoulder."
"Yeah…….. We're really sorry about that." I reply, knowing she won't take it well, silently preparing myself for a rant, and thanking…. Well myself…. That I can't be hurt.
"What?" they both reply at once. Suddenly I have them both in chairs, I have them both sitting there not restrained, but I think if they tried to move they'd find they mysteriously weigh about the same as a small whale. Its time I explained a few things, hopefully worked a few things out.
"We created you two, in our image, you were our prototypes of perfection, our two individuals created simply so we could spend the rest of your lives watching you, and patting ourselves on the back for our good work. And then someone created the centre, the family we planned to put you in Parker were the founders, and the genes in your blood that indicate your specialness, your perfection, made them want you. You see we aren't the only powerful forces in the universe, sure we play with you, we muck around with your heads, but we're not evil. The centre was created by evil, intermixed with the work of the omnipotent, and destined in such a way so we didn't realize what had happened till I decided to check on you a few months ago. We hoped the island would fix it, it came close, but it didn't."
"Fix it" Parker whispers, her face indicating just how overcome she is with this news, the display of my powers obviously showing her I am for real. Jarod meanwhile looks as if he is gonna pass out.
"The scrolls. You've heard of them, you've never read them, and as much as I know you want to believe you're father jumped out of that plane with them to save your family, he did it to stop you reading them. They were created by one of us; a little joke he played that was accidentally put into play by the forces of fate. They say among other things that the centre shall fall, that it and all its pieces, all its parties shall be silenced and rendered powerless, and they shall be done so by the new forces of power, the forces referred to as 'them'. Always referred to as a couple, because that's the only way it can be. The 'them' is you two, Parker and Jarod, a match literally made in heaven."
I have to stop here, the shocked looked on their faces is enough, I think if I keep going without allowing them a moment to think this over they might die, and I am so above CPR on a human. But hey, at least the shock has rendered them quiet.
"You see, with the two of you together, a new power basis is formed, with a child born of the two of you a new empire is born. These people will look upon you, as a couple, and see all that is power; you are the perfect human pair, the two who shall be deemed above them all. With you together, fate will make the centre fall, it will be your kingdom to rule."
And as I look at their stunned faces, at the stolen glances at each other, at the way somehow their hands have come to rest atop each other as if supplying support, I figure it is my time to go. Quickly I free them so they can move, and I leave, who knows if this will work, who knows if I won't be back next week to try again. Don't worry the stories not over, we're just switching perspectives again. Btw, I've removed the bitchy, superior, child like attitudes for a bit, this is something they have to have the courage to make the first step with for it to proceed, and for that to happen they can't cling to a crutch like that.
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And then he's gone, this man just came, turned my world upside down, and he's just gone. The rational part of my mind believes he was never here, he was merely a hallucination, figment of an overactive imagination come to tell me everything I ever wanted is true. My mind screams that this is all a want, a desire, so etched into my being I am now realizing it will never happen and thus my mind is creating it in the only way it can. Or that's what it is trying to believe, but then its pointing out that he disappeared, he floated, he shimmered and he managed to stun Parker into silence. Now the first few I could accept as tricks of the mind, but the shutting Parker up really is the kicker. I'm here and I'm looking at her, and she's like a little girl lost, her face is so pale, and her body is shaking ever so slightly, those beautiful blue eyes have lost their frozen glare and have taken on a scared, thoughtful and almost soft nature. Simply seeing that tells me she believes it all, or at least believes in what he claimed to be, and well…. That makes me believe it too. I mean come on, if you can convince that woman to believe in the after life, in the omnipotent then surely there is some truth to it, or maybe, probably its mommy telling her to believe, and in that case I have no choice but to believe. (I shoot, I score….. Parker/Jarod none, damn sexy, genius, perfect Omni man one).
"Parker" I whisper her name, over and over, my voice growing louder with each attempt and yet failing to pierce the shell that has grown around her. She is rocking slightly and appears to be almost in a trance, her eyes are alive though, and she occasionally moves as if disagreeing or arguing with herself, and I can only imagine it is the voices. I couldn't imagine it myself, having voices inside your head, voices you can't control, can't quiet, voices that you can only escape if you can focus on something else, and right now she can't. She is trapped in her own mind, listening to, fighting with the voices as, I can only imagine, they reinforce everything just said, as they take it further, as they explain things she isn't ready to know. God, at least I can escape, at least I can focus only on what I can handle and deal with, but she's stuck with it over and over, so close to her, part of herself making her see things she isn't really ready to see. And before I know it I am beside her, my arms are slowly wrapping themselves around her, and pulling her close. My mind screams at me while it warns me of the possible danger I am putting myself in, and then it relaxes as she slowly leans into my arms and holds herself against me, trying in vain to hide from the voices inside her. And that's where for now, it all ceases to move ahead, we don't talk, we don't fight, we just stay near each other providing the comfort and love we know that only the other can offer us, and slowly she drifts off, slowly I follow her. We'll still be here in the morning, we'll still need to talk, but she's been through hell, so have I, we'll sleep, we'll wake up tomorrow with a better understanding of just how fucked up our lives are, and hopefully we'll help each other through it. (Give the genius a prize, here's the smartest man on earth and he is finally working it out… the rest of you have no hope. I'm thinking that at first it may have appeared as if I made a few mistakes with setting these two up, but no see, you guys- you the uneducated masses, the unwashed illiterate humans of the world thought I'd made a mistake. But no, it was all in the plan; I was merely setting them up for a bigger fall so they could rebuild themselves together…. I'll understand if you need to pause your reading for a moment so you can ponder my brilliance and be stunned by my beauty.)
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Have you ever had to put up with a million people talking, all at once, over the top of one another, all saying things you don't want to hear and yet so many with so much force you can't escape it. You should try having the people who are doing it inside your damn head. Its only one person actually, it's Momma, and she's so excited, so happy and so demanding, its like there is one of her for every different emotion her soul is feeling now. All of them telling me to believe this …….thing…… and all in a different way. I want to not believe them, I want to say he was simply a warning of the fact that I should listen when my doctor tells me that vodka should not be used to wash down pills, but I can't. It's not so much even the voices insistence, or Momma's excitement, or her urging to discuss it with him, it's the little flutters I got as he said it. The way my stomach and my nerves told me that everything that Omni said was everything I ever dreamed of, was everything I wanted but refused to let myself acknowledge. It's the way everything he said, every feeling it gave me, just felt right, and the way these arms that now encircle me, this chest I now lean on, the warm breath I can feel on my neck feels like it is something I was born to feel. Or maybe Momma was just right and they really have driven me mad, this is all just some drug induced psychotic dream I'm having while being held in a padded room in a mental institution. That option may seem weird to you, but you have no idea how much I'm hoping it's the truth, I mean hey then if I'm in that and the whole meant to be with Jarod thing is true at least the room is padded. I can have my wicked way with him anywhere I like and not risk personal injury, and besides think of all the uses for a straitjacket. That thought once again makes me think 'man, I hope I'm insane'.
(Damn, now I have conflicting feelings, half of me likes bitchy Parker, but the other half thinks this scared, confused and soft Parker is gorgeous. She's making me wanna care, and its just not right, do I need to explain the whole 'I'm above you' thing again, I don't care I torture…. Why else do you think we invented football).
Anyway, I'm gonna worry about it later, cause right now this cushion is a damn fine one and I have a feeling not sleeping on it would just be wrong, and we all know I don't do wrong.
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We wake, hours later, or at least I do, and I am kind of hoping she will either give me enough time to slowly extract myself from the web that is our arms and legs, or she will give me some kind of sign I am safe before she wakes. I fear for my life right now. She's like an angel when she sleeps though, and my fears are slowly abating as I watch her. Her nose nuzzles itself against my chest, the way her hair falls so gently around her perfect, clear and oh so pale skin and the way her eyelashes fan out so sweetly across her cheeks. I could get used to waking up to this sight every morning, or hell I wish I could at least take a picture so I can remember it, no I'll remember it, its burned so vividly into my mind now. The image of this sweet, innocent woman, so reminiscent of the little girl I loved as a child and yet so much the stunning woman I love now. These thoughts are gonna get me killed you know, I'm gonna die, hell at least I'm gonna be looking at her face when I do, and at least I'll know this was how I spent my last moments. Man, her eyes are opening, I'm gonna die. (No you're not Jarod, I mean sure I know I want you to, I know I'd pay with my power to sit and watch as she rips you limb from limb and shatters your unworldly childlike and oh so annoying innocence in the process……. But again fate won't let me…. She keeps whispering something about chocolate).
"It was real wasn't it?" she asks, her voice surprisingly void of the malice and bitter tone it usually holds. I nod numbly as my brain struggles to contemplate and fully acknowledge the meaning of this. The meaning of that fact that despite waking up, despite being clear headed, well as much as possible in the circumstances, she is still held against me and I am still alive.
And then she's gone, she's up and she's gone, towards the door and out it, her heels are left lying on the floor in a mess of straps, her already incredibly short skirt is hiked up and she is running as if her life depended on it. Do I go after her? No. She'll be back, it's a feeling I know only too well, it's a way of regaining control. Perception is something influenced so greatly by our own views, our own expectations, our beliefs, and here 'Little miss in control' has lost control. Her world is spinning on its axis, everything she thought right, is wrong, everything she thought normal, is suddenly not, its not a pleasant feeling when the world runs from you and thus the running thing. I do it myself sometimes, it means nothing, it affects nothing, but it's a perception thing. The world is leaving her behind and in her mind she tries but can never quite catch it. When you run, when you just forget the world, forget your problems and run, your perception changes suddenly, in your eyes the world is still, the world is unmoving and solid and you are the one running through it, leaving it behind. You are in charge of the world suddenly and you can move through it, it won't move, its you who moves, you who changes it, you who controls the world. She'll be back, she just needs a little time to put it all together and gain a little more control. Besides in bare feet and that skirt she won't get far. (Wow, running to regain control… that's novel, I just blow someone up, run someone over with a truck, or hit a small village with a nuclear weapon and start a war. Ok no I do that for fun, but it's a great stress reliever. Btw, the him knowing her so well thing is… well, I gotta admit it, kinda cute… and makes me wonder how anyone who knows someone that well and is so smart could remain so emotionally dense).
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It's not working; it's never not worked before. But then hey, fucked up as my life has been I guess its never before been fucked with quite like this time. Who the hell am I? What the hell am I? Granted the Jarod thing feels right, I've never before felt the comfort I felt last night, and that's a lot to say considering the shit I just had thrown at me. But 'omnipotent' beings? If its true, why the hell did they take this long to make things right? Why the hell did they allow me to spend 20 years being played by the centre? Twenty years losing everything I ever deemed important and hiding from the one thing I wanted most… my confidante, my friend… Jarod. But now I have the chance to go for it, I don't think I can, imagine the consequences, imagine the hate Daddy would regard me with, I could gain a life and lose it in an instant. But the voices tell me to head back, to stop the world running from me not by chasing it but by making it right, to head back and work things out with Jarod, and for once I listen. (Do ya think putting "Parker finally listens" in bold on the front of every world paper would confuse many people? Cause my god that has gotta be a first, the first time she has ever listened to something worthwhile and not simply replied with the words 'But Daddy said').
He's still sitting there as I re-enter the building, watching the door like a hawk as if he somehow knew I would be back. I had almost expected him to follow me, to confront me and to have to watch on helplessly as we fall into a fight and accomplish nothing. But he didn't, he knew why I ran, I guess the world has spent a lot of years running from him too, and him a lot of years trying to make it be still.
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I look up as I see her enter, my heart leaping at the sad, lost and scared look her eyes hold, my arms wanting to reach toward her, hold her and tell her it will all be ok…… but who really knows if it will be. Before I even realize it, my mouth has made the first move for me, and a thousand unconscious thoughts are resolved with two words.
"I'm sorry"
Her face registers utter shock at my words, as if she cannot fathom what I would have to feel sorry for… of course the shock is tempered with the fact that I could be apologizing for a million things… Strip searches, jail cells, the flu… ok I get it I'm a child.
"Your what? Why?" And as she says that, my unconscious guilt is brought to a head, is suddenly so incredibly conscious, so close to me I can do nothing but tell her all, and hope she forgives me.
"I know why you run, and I know you shouldn't have too. I've watched you, you know, I've seen the way you do it. The way you'll come home some days and just take off again, running till you collapse in exhaustion, trying so hard to catch up, to take control of a world, a truth that won't let you near it. I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry for the fact that my world is fucked up Jarod. Does everything revolve around you now, is the simple fact I run a bit because of you too, I spose the unique rhythm I run with is my unconscious way of showing an undying love for you or something. The whole world is not about you Jarod, it doesn't revolve because of you."
Ok that hurt, but I see her point, I need to move on, I need to clarify. (Now isn't that a novel thought…. Idiot).
"I should of taken you with me", her eyes fall, her lips quivers and she shows me exactly how much she wanted this, hopefully 'wants' this, "We'd be on the run but at least you'd be free. I run too, I run to catch up, to make the world stop, but I don't have to so much now. They can't play me, I'm free, you still chase me, you still hound me, I still don't know who I am, or where I come from but at least I have the freedom to be the me I know. I never realized Parker, I thought because you were one of them, because Daddy was there you'd be safe, I never even thought about what that was doing to you. I don't know me, but neither do you know yourself, I don't know who I am family wise, biologically, but I know ME… you know who your family are, you know the you they want you to be, but you've never been allowed to be you. It was selfish of me to not realize that".
I look up, and she's crying, silent tears trek warily down her cheeks, her shoulders shake with suppressed sobs and her body seems so small and weak, so much not the powerful strong women I usually see.
"That's why I hated you, I could never catch you, never put you back there, but I wanted you to suffer a little. I hated the fact that you had gained freedom in a sense, the freedom to be you, and I was still trapped, still a puppet in the centre's show. I'm sorry I chased you, I'm sorry I made your life hell, but even the life they offered me was better than the life they offered my mother."
Silently I stand and walk to her, my arms find their way around her, and I pull her close, sighing in contentment as her head buries into my shoulder I feel the warmth of her tears on my neck. This still has a while to go, we have a small understanding, a tiny fragment of what I want, but right now I think we both need a moment.
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He's holding me, I'm still crying, and the world is still running, but a little slower. I could get used to him holding me. But we need to talk, the Omni said we were destined to be a couple, and hell yeah I'd like that, but we have a lifetime of issues to deal with, and a lifetime more consequences to think of.
"Why'd you never disappear?" I whisper, "Why stay close? Why taunt? I know you could disappear Jarod".
He pulls back and looks at me, the deep brown pools of emotion he has for eyes search mine in wonder as he ponders the question. And then he breaks into a tiny smile, a small cocky grin, a self assured and know it all face that I would normally hate but right now I find it adorable. (And this is what I hate, the whole falling in love thing, the whole so sweet, its all words, tell them what they mean crap thing. Hello. I don't care, the scrolls say 'them' as in two of you together, I'm pretty sure that if you drop the cutesy thing and just get down and dirty on the floor right now and solve this the old fashioned, the good ole non thinking way it would technically still work).
"Gestalt" he replies, one word, one damn word meant that much to him, stupid damn thing means nothing to me. And I am left wondering if this boys stupid know it all and expects me to as well thing is gonna have to be beaten out of him cause I could do that. (And I'd be happy to….. just say the word sweetie).
He must see my lack of understanding and is quick to continue before he gets to witness my impressive right hook up close and personal.
"It's a psychological theory, dealing with sensation and perception consisting of six different theories for perception of stimuli" Seeing the clenching of my fist he quickly places his hand on my arm and continues with the explanation.
"The second of which is proximity" The hand is shaken off my arm, if he doesn't get to the point soon the boy is going down, and not in a good way.
Seeing this he finally gets to his point.
"Proximity states that things near one another belong together. I guess its my round about way of saying I couldn't leave because I always felt we belonged together. If I left, disappeared, that feeling would, according to the principle, leave me. I had to be near you so I could always keep an eye on you, keep you safe and know you belonged with me." I am silent in response and he takes his as a bad sign. "I know, stupid huh. I just, you were all I had as a child, I dreamt of having everything, having more, and yet when I did none of it meant anything cause you weren't there too. But you were changed, different, so cold and bitter, I would of come back just for the little girl who kept me sane but she was long gone and all I could do was hang around and hope she returned to me."
Reaching up he wiped the tears from my eye, leaving his hand momentarily on my cheek and allowing me the time to reach up and place my own hand over it, squeezing it gently and telling him that I understood and agreed. Telling him that in the only way I could since my voice had long since ceased to operate. His hand pulls away, but my hand holds it still, holds it in contact with me and thus my face goes with his hand, pulling me ever closer to him. Suddenly it is as if we are in front of that fire again, our faces are so close, I can feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek, see the raw emotion and love in his eyes and this time I do not pull away. Instead I move forward, pressing myself closer to him and raising my chin so our lips meet. A short chaste kiss, so reminiscent of the one shared a lifetime ago in an innocent and beautiful world, a kiss that returns to me that innocence and beauty. A kiss that promises everything, and with which the Omni's words rebound around us and we know that together the world is ours, and the centre is dead.
There is still talking to be done, and I know it will be weeks, months, before we make a move on the centre, weeks, months spent reclaiming 20 years or more, and finding our own path and future in life. I know I can't wait.
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In the end it all seemed so simple, a few words, a life time of repressed feelings, a hurried explanation and then a kiss that promised the world and delivered with that promise the means to obtain it. I reach for her now, hold her tighter against me, run my fingers through her hair and search those beautiful eyes, those bottomless pits of emotion and try to ascertain if she feels the same way. In an instant I know she does and I lean into her and once again claim her lips, deepen the kiss and pull her tighter against me still. While I silently say thanks to that Omni, the one genius, the one powerful, beautiful and perfect being who has in one night given me everything I ever dreamed of.
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And to think I said I didn't like him…… the boy ain't a genius for nothing is he… I mean sure it don't take much to see how brilliant I really am, one look and even the stupidest of you know I'm something special, but still….. Good Jarod. Now you humans seem to have a one track mind, cause at the end of every single one of these I have to stop letting the people tell their own story because well it quickly becomes the sort of story that is gonna earn this story a rating. When I say I watch them, when I say I can see everything I mean it in a not really kinda way, I mean some stuff I just don't wanna see…. Unfortunately I can still hear it and well lets just say the ending to this story will be a positive one. Remember I said the new era started with their child….. The way they are going I'm guessing we don't have long to wait. Anyhoo, I am really leaving you, the story is done, the ending is…. Well not an ending but as far as I am gonna take you….. I will give you a few hints, any gifts sent should be blue, preferably soft and fuzzy and in the shape if toy animals. Mail addressed to the centre will now be returned 'Addressee does not exist' and the centre plot now has three new graves. They are marked by the burnt out hull of an oxygen tank (seems syd's aim is improving), a small but beautiful Japanese dragon figure (Tanaka and his men were not to happy when they found out about Lyle and his like of 'tastes of the orient') and a ripped Parachute….. I think you can guess the occupants of those.
So now I am done, the world is once again a happy place, and while we all know fate can be fickle and things could change, they won't. These two have all the power, prestige and loved owed to them by a world forever indebted to them for the destruction of that place, and by the perfection bestowed on them by us. And now I leave, I am done, from now on I shan't be back… I know I still haven't fixed the Mulder/Scully issue, but the show is over, Chris Carter did an ok job himself with that and well with the show gone its not like you'll see it anyway……..So bai bai…. Wave goodbye to brilliance people, this is the last time I help you out. I'm all good deeded out, if gods could die and we had a god-heaven and god-hell I'd be a shoo in. Good luck sorting it all out yourself, I'm sure you can do it, hell it might even inspire you all to discover thinking and then not being so stuffed up will be a little easier.
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And that's it. Hope you liked it.