a/n: this was written entirely for ellie (jackpotgirl) who is flawless and perfect and waited incredibly patiently for me to get going on this for over a month.
Rachel didn't know how they had gotten to this point, the point where she honestly separating pills for both her and Blaine, counting them out one by one as if they were just taking their regularly prescribed amounts. She supposed it started with the musical, when they were cast as the leads-Artie making a comment that if Sharpay and Ryan could do it, so could Blaine and Rachel.
Until they noticed that the chemistry they were fueling for Tony and Maria was a little too realistic, a little too much for siblings. Artie had given them a skeptical look at first, Ms. Pillsbury's eyes wider than even normal as Coach Bieste looked utterly confused at how well they played their parts. They chalked it up to talent-"It must run in the family," Bieste had half-joked, though she too looked a little worried at their stars.
"You gave me a part," Rachel ended up snapping at Artie one day, "and all I'm doing is playing it to the best of my abilities. Since when is good chemistry a bad thing?"
"It's just weird Rachel," Artie had replied, his voice wary before he wheeled himself off, Rachel's arms crossing over herself in an attempt to stay calm. It wasn't long before Blaine's arms came to wrap around her as well, whispering quietly in her ear that they'd make it through it, that no one would be any the wiser, they only had a few more weeks until opening night and then this could all be put behind them.
But then they were caught, blinded by the rush of the stage and the applause, stupid enough to act on their emotions behind curtains where they were easily stumbled upon by Kurt of all people, a quiet "Whoa," all he could say before he disappeared. It took minutes before everyone else found out about how Blaine's hands had been clasped tightly to his sisters waist, how they had been kissing far too passionately to even claim they were practicing for a show they had just wrapped.
Rachel was sure her life was over. If she had been mocked before, it seemed even worse than before. Blaine-always able to escape unscathed from so much of the drama and torture that the rest endured-was now receiving a daily slushie to the face, if not worse. Their parents were brought in for a meeting while Ms. Pillsbury stumbled over what Mr. Schuester had informed her of, Blaine slapping his hand on the table and saying that they weren't doing anything wrong, it was society that projected this negative image, Rachel sitting silent in her tears.
Their parents refused to speak to them, doing nothing more than stating that they had shamed them, they were disgusted, that as soon as they could figure out a way, they were being separated and that was that.
That was when, in her overdramatic hysteria, Rachel stumbled over the idea that took Blaine some wearing down to agree to.
But after weeks of being tormented at school, of boarding school applications being filled out and their shipping dates arriving, they were desperate. They couldn't live without each other, had no idea how to even function without the other being only a few feet away, and so they'd do the only thing they could.
"Are you ready?" Blaine asked quietly, hand resting on her back as he stood next to her, staring somberly into the mirror in front of them. Rachel nodded, tears forming in her eyes once more as she blinked them away, knowing that it would soon be all over.
He squeezed her hand, taking a deep breath as he turned his attention to the small pile in front of him. She had been well prepared for this, a mixture of her own medication with their mothers, a few others she'd knicked from around school over the past week. There was enough to do the job properly, of that she was sure. "Ready," she finally responded, voice quiet as she grabbed a handful at quickly started swallowing them, wincing every time. Blaine did the same next to her, keeping a strong grip on himself even in the face of everything they were doing.
By the time the pills were gone, swallowed, Rachel had to fight the urge to throw them all up, to shake Blaine and tell him they were being stupid. He seemed to be fighting the same demon, and instead grabbed a firm hold of her as he dragged her to his bed, pulling her next to him as best he could. There was a mixture of things, and in such a high quantity everything was slightly fuzzy and spinning, giving Rachel a headache.
"We're so young," she slurred after a few minutes, her hand resting on his chest as she curled into his side, trying to get as much of him as she could before death finally overtook them. She panicked, wondering what would happen if he was the first to go-what she'd do if she could even tell he had left without her. She wanted to vocalize her fear, but her throat seemed paralyzed, her body slowly sinking away from her control.
"It was the right decision," he promised, and she closed her eyes, feeling him talk more than hearing him.
"I'm tired," she whispered, her voice virtually silent as she felt the darkness threaten to overtake her, her eyes closing despite her attempt to stare at Blaine as long as possible, to memorize every bit of him that she could before everything disappeared.
"I'm here, Rach," he promised, his own voice barely louder than her own. She wondered how far gone he was, if he was regretting this. She knew, somewhere deep inside of her, that this was their only choice. That the world was too cruel to understand them, understand that Blaine was the love of her short-lived life. That if there was anyone she'd be willing to die for, it was Blaine.
She felt herself start to fade even more into nothingness, a listless weightlessness falling over her. The last words she heard were a soft "I love you," barely breaking the intense silence surrounding her before she faded away for good.