Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me; they belong to either
George Lucas or Timothy Zahn. And sadly I'm making no money from this.
This story was also written by my best friend TigerEyes, it's mad, it's weird, but it's also very funny. Enjoy!
About ten minutes ago in a galaxy 2.4 miles away, very little happened. Eleven minutes ago however was the end of a chain of events that could devastate the galaxy… Now the music is still playing so we'll leave you for a few minutes. Dum, dum, diddly dum dum, diddly dum dum, diddly DUM!
*
Five figures were gathered around a large table discussing a recent Imperial offensive against the New Republic in hushed voices. The Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker, stifled a laugh as his brother-in-law suggested a risky strategy to his wife, the Chief of State, who was about to dismiss the idea out of hand, when suddenly.
"Well I think that's a good idea," Mon Mothma said surprising everyone, not least of all Han, who stared open mouthed at the auburn haired woman, in response she simply asked, "Is everyone agreed with me?" The atmosphere around the table changed suddenly as everyone except Mon Mothma reached behind their backs.
Grinning mischievously they placed the brightly coloured Rasta hats on their heads and chorused "Yeah Mon!" Mon Mothma gaped at them disbelief etched on her face, before she could respond, however, the chamber doors crashed open and Admiral Ackbar rushed in. Glancing at Leia he muttered an apology and promptly sat down…in the chair occupied by Mon Mothma. Frantically pointing at Ackbar, Leia desperately tried to find the words to tell him what had happened.
Despite Leia's efforts to explain his mistake Ackbar misunderstood and stood to salute, asking her forgiveness for his lack of manners, shrugging she allowed the meeting to continue.
As the meeting ended Admiral Ackbar stood to shake Luke's hand, Mara who was standing behind the Mon Calimarian tutted in disgust, "Ackbar" she sighed "who have you sat in? You've got Mon Mothma all over your trousers."
Three days after the death of Mon Mothma Han, Leia, Luke and Garm Bel Iblis were gathered at the President's residence.
From the computer console where he sat Han let out an excited yelp drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Acknowledging their curious looks he cried, "I've found my parents!"
Whilst everyone cheered Bel Iblis swallowed uncomfortably, "Who are they?" he asked struggling to control his voice.
Excitedly Han jumped from the console practically bellowing "Bob and Cornelia SOLO!" With an exasperated sigh Bel Iblis continued to read the reports in his hand. "What's wrong with you?" Han asked abruptly "I've found me Ma and Pa!" shaking his head wearily Bel Iblis stood to face Han.
"No Han," he whispered "I am your father", from a corner of the room Han heard Luke giggle childishly and shook his head frantically.
"No I don't believe you!" Luke chuckled as Han backed towards the door.
"Search your feelings you know it to be true." as these words left Bel Iblis' mouth Luke was reduced to hysterics. Bel Iblis beckoned to Han whose face had drained of all its colour "Come here my son". Han edged cautiously closer to the senator, who swiftly pulled a knife and severed Han's right hand, as Leia let out a horrified gasp Luke began to roll around on the floor reduced to tears of laughter.
Clutching his wrist stump Han shouted sarcastically "Thanks Dad!" suddenly brightening he turned to his father and said "Does this mean I get birthday presents from you now?"
Still chuckling Luke answered "No, but I know what you've got for Christmas," this surprised Han who immediately asked how, Luke burst into manic laughter once more "I have felt your presence!" Shaking his head in confusion Han turned to regard Bel Iblis.
"So if you're my dad," he said warily "who's my mum?"
Leaning forward as though imparting a great secret Bel Iblis answered, "Mon Mothma, you were our secret love child". Han paled and ran from the room about to throw up; meanwhile Luke sat in his corner laughing hysterically.
A/N: Ok there's more to come, please R&R, flames are welcome at least that way I know you've read it.
This story was also written by my best friend TigerEyes, it's mad, it's weird, but it's also very funny. Enjoy!
About ten minutes ago in a galaxy 2.4 miles away, very little happened. Eleven minutes ago however was the end of a chain of events that could devastate the galaxy… Now the music is still playing so we'll leave you for a few minutes. Dum, dum, diddly dum dum, diddly dum dum, diddly DUM!
*
Five figures were gathered around a large table discussing a recent Imperial offensive against the New Republic in hushed voices. The Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker, stifled a laugh as his brother-in-law suggested a risky strategy to his wife, the Chief of State, who was about to dismiss the idea out of hand, when suddenly.
"Well I think that's a good idea," Mon Mothma said surprising everyone, not least of all Han, who stared open mouthed at the auburn haired woman, in response she simply asked, "Is everyone agreed with me?" The atmosphere around the table changed suddenly as everyone except Mon Mothma reached behind their backs.
Grinning mischievously they placed the brightly coloured Rasta hats on their heads and chorused "Yeah Mon!" Mon Mothma gaped at them disbelief etched on her face, before she could respond, however, the chamber doors crashed open and Admiral Ackbar rushed in. Glancing at Leia he muttered an apology and promptly sat down…in the chair occupied by Mon Mothma. Frantically pointing at Ackbar, Leia desperately tried to find the words to tell him what had happened.
Despite Leia's efforts to explain his mistake Ackbar misunderstood and stood to salute, asking her forgiveness for his lack of manners, shrugging she allowed the meeting to continue.
As the meeting ended Admiral Ackbar stood to shake Luke's hand, Mara who was standing behind the Mon Calimarian tutted in disgust, "Ackbar" she sighed "who have you sat in? You've got Mon Mothma all over your trousers."
Three days after the death of Mon Mothma Han, Leia, Luke and Garm Bel Iblis were gathered at the President's residence.
From the computer console where he sat Han let out an excited yelp drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Acknowledging their curious looks he cried, "I've found my parents!"
Whilst everyone cheered Bel Iblis swallowed uncomfortably, "Who are they?" he asked struggling to control his voice.
Excitedly Han jumped from the console practically bellowing "Bob and Cornelia SOLO!" With an exasperated sigh Bel Iblis continued to read the reports in his hand. "What's wrong with you?" Han asked abruptly "I've found me Ma and Pa!" shaking his head wearily Bel Iblis stood to face Han.
"No Han," he whispered "I am your father", from a corner of the room Han heard Luke giggle childishly and shook his head frantically.
"No I don't believe you!" Luke chuckled as Han backed towards the door.
"Search your feelings you know it to be true." as these words left Bel Iblis' mouth Luke was reduced to hysterics. Bel Iblis beckoned to Han whose face had drained of all its colour "Come here my son". Han edged cautiously closer to the senator, who swiftly pulled a knife and severed Han's right hand, as Leia let out a horrified gasp Luke began to roll around on the floor reduced to tears of laughter.
Clutching his wrist stump Han shouted sarcastically "Thanks Dad!" suddenly brightening he turned to his father and said "Does this mean I get birthday presents from you now?"
Still chuckling Luke answered "No, but I know what you've got for Christmas," this surprised Han who immediately asked how, Luke burst into manic laughter once more "I have felt your presence!" Shaking his head in confusion Han turned to regard Bel Iblis.
"So if you're my dad," he said warily "who's my mum?"
Leaning forward as though imparting a great secret Bel Iblis answered, "Mon Mothma, you were our secret love child". Han paled and ran from the room about to throw up; meanwhile Luke sat in his corner laughing hysterically.
A/N: Ok there's more to come, please R&R, flames are welcome at least that way I know you've read it.