Disclaimer! I DO NOT OWN SHOWTIME, SHAMELESS, OR THE CHARACTERS!
Containes spoilers from season 3
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What have I done?" Mickey says to himself, as he still clutches his bottle, tears streaming down is face.
Mickey isn't the one for 'feelings'. But for some reason, he cant stop the tears.
Its been several weeks since they were caught by Terry. Several weeks since he has felt that touch of that damn firecrotch. His skin, on fire, wanting to spontaneously combust at the smallest thought of him. But No. 'I cant get him killed. I just cant. He is MY Gallagher, and he has to be safe' Mickey says to him self.
Biting the side of his thumb, and spitting skin to the floor, Mickey knows what he has to do to keep him safe. He takes another swig, hoping to drown this pain he is in.
Memories come flooding into his mind. Memories that he doesn't want to think of. Memories that hurt. But he cant make them go away. He cant do anything but relish in them. It helps dry the tears, but it still hurts.
Mickey takes another swig, and it burns worst than the last. Probably because his throat is killing him, from holding back the tears.
On the roof where they have had so many memories made, Mickey sat with his back on a concrete pillar. Continuing to drink. He doesn't think anyone is there, so he slowly lets the tears come back. Until he seems him.
"So is it true? You getting married"? Snaps the red-head that he cant seem to get away from.
In his head, he knows not to say anything. He is sticking with his plan. Cut him out of his life. The hardest decision he will ever make. Faintly, he can here Gallagher spurting all these questions, in a tone he isn't used to hearing come out of this boys mouth. It turned him on and pissed him off at the same time. But he was sticking to his guns this time. No. More. Gallagher. All of a sudden, he sees the boy move swiftly to the window, as he picks up Mickey's now empty bottle, and throws it hard.
"WHAT THE FUCK, GALLAGHER!"
In a smart ass, angry tone, screaming, "OH! He Speaks!" he hears come out of Gallagher's mouth.
Mickey gets up to walk away, but Ian isn't having it. He follows behind, because that's what he does. He will not leave Mickey alone, to tear him self down.
"So that's it, we're over?" asks the red-haired younger boy as he tries to take Mickey into his arms.
But Mickey tries harder, and pushes him off, thinking at the same time 'please don't leave me'
"Get the fuck off me"
"Oh, you want to fag bash? Does that make you feel like a man?" Ian points to his face "come on, do it" daring Mickey to hit him. And at the same time, Mickey punches him in the stomach.
Right away, Mickey feels horrible for what is happening to 'His firecrotch' and tears start to whelp up under his eyes. But he Has to do this. Ian Needs to be safe. And he isn't safe with Mickey.
Then he hears Gallagher's heart breaking plea. "You love me. And your gay… Just admit it." And his voice crackles with pain and tears. "just this once..fucking admit it" and before the can finish, Mickey's fist flies into contact with Ian's mouth. And without realizing it, The tears start again in Mickey's eyes. They burn. He is angry. But not with Gallagher. He loves Gallagher, but he wont admit to it. At him self. Because of the pain he is putting 'his' boy in. His Glorious red-haird, freckled face boy. He looks down and Ian on the ground, clearly both of them in pain and Ian says "Feel better now?.. Feel like a man"? and His anger has now taken control. The only emotion he thought he could ever feel. With his family and lack of friends, he didn't even know any other emotions existed. But they did. And he knows that. But with his neighborhood being the way it is, as screwed up as it is, No one could know he was gay. No one could know that he was in fact, In love with Ian Gallagher. 'Love.. yeah. Right.' He was working off of pure instinct now. And at that moment, his steel toe boot connected with Ian's mouth. Not knowing why, He can only reply with "feel better now" as his tears seem to not be stopping.