I was here, in my own home, facing him. Knowing exactly what he was about to do. Yet I didn't try to escape. I felt horrible, and extremely guilty. And I was glad at least he was angry enough to kill me. I know no one else would do it...
******
When Bella hugged me, I knew it wasn't the same anymore. It never will be. She changed. Completely. My Bella was gone forever. Sure, she was still there. I still loved her with all my heart. But my personal heroine was gone. She no longer smelled so delicious. I shifted, so I wouldn't have to smell her that much. She noticed. I could see the fear in her eyes, as she looked at me.
- Um... Carefully, Bella. Ow! - I quickly reassured her. I acted like she had hurt me. It wasn't hard, since she actually had. I just didn't notice it before. That was the moment, I decided, I'll never tell her how different - no, how bad - she smelled. She couldn't have take it. And I would never hurt her on purpose.
This is how all of this mess started. My Bella was gone, and all I had left from her was Renesmee. She smelled like her mother used to. Not exactly the same, but very close to it. I loved my daughter, and my wife, and we lived like a normal family. Ok, as a normal vampire family. I hugged Renesmee often, and after a short while she just laughed in my arms saying she was too old to be hugged by her father.
Renesmee grew quickly, and before I could notice, she looked like an eighteen year old. I home schooled her ever since she was... Well lets say since she actually understood it. We figured she should know everything she should by the time she was 'eighteen', so she could go to school if she wanted to. We still needed a little time to finish, but it went much quicker then any of us expected it. Renesmee was eager to learn. She actually enjoyed studying, just as much as I did. I loved my daughter so much.
I know it was totally my fault. I know I'm a horrible father.
I gave her a really hard task. I wanted to test her. See if she could do it.
And on the next day Renesmee came with the perfect answer. She smiled as I checked it and told her it was correct. She smiled that huge Bella smile of hers... Her eyes were sparkling just like Bella's used to. I stared at her.
And for a second I saw Bella sitting next to me instead of my daughter.
I crushed my lips to hers, and tangled my hands in her hair. Those perfect brown curls of Bella! Somewhere deep in my head I registered she was trying to push me away. But it was too late. I already smelled my Bella, and I couldn't stop. I ripped off our clothes, and trusted into her. She screamed out in pain, and scratched me, but I was too aroused. I didn't notice it.
- Dad stop!!! - That did register. Why would Bella call me dad? Unless... And then I realized what I was doing.
It wasn't Bella. It was Renesmee under me. Screaming in pain, begging me to stop.
I got up quickly, redressed in one quick motion, and stared at my daughter. She was laying there, on the couch, her face covered with tears, her hands covered with bruises where I pinned her down. And she was bleeding.
I couldn't believe what I've just did. I raped my daughter. I raped my beautiful, young, defenseless daughter. Because I didn't realize it was her. I'm a horrible person. I'm a horrible father. She didn't move. She wasn't thinking about anything. She just lay there, naked. It hurt even more to look at her. I never meant to do that. I never meant to do anything that hurt Renesmee. I covered her up with a blanket, and sat next to her. Not to close, so I wouldn't scare her. It took her minutes to open her eyes. I just waited, and waited, but she just stared at me. Right into my eye, blocking her thoughts. I had no idea how she did that. Thinking about a lullaby, or a simple thing, but still looking at me so meaningfully. I hated myself. But I couldn't speak. I couldn't tell her how sorry I was.
The next thing I know, she was sitting up, and the blanket fallen off of her body. She had bruises on her chest as well. I didn't know how I did those. Renesmee reached out, and touched my face. I was shocked for a moment, but she showed me everything about what she felt in the last few minutes. I suffered the physical, and the emotional pain she just did. I flinched. How could I do something like this to her?
She just finished showing, and was staring at me. I stared back. And then I heard the dor open.
- Nessie? 'You here? - It was Jacob. I totally forgot about him being able to come, and go whenever he wanted. He came in the living room. And stared at us shocked. I was still staring at Renesmee. She was still staring at me. But I heard Jacobs mind. He put the peaces together, and now he was pissed. And he had every right to be so.
In a blink of an eye, he turned into a werewolf.
*****
And, here I was in my own home, facing him. Knowing exactly what he was about to do. Yet I didn't try to escape. I felt horrible, and extremely guilty. And I was glad at least he was angry enough to kill me. I knew no one else would do it...