Pierrot: This cruel, small world never cared for anyone; so why should they make an exception for him?
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Rating: T
Characters: Kuroha
Notes: Kuroha may be OOC. Considering his personality isn't well described, I think that's slightly reasonable. Part of the reason for the OOC is because of this AU: Kuroha is a normal college student and not an antagonistic snake that takes over bodies and loves killing people. Also, the twitter account names are MADE-UP. What I mean is that if the twitter account really exists, these people have NOT SAID THESE THINGS (obviously).
Believe it or not, Kuroha Kokonose was not a suicidal kid from the start. Although his family background and past may seem like it foreshadowed all these events in the future, he really was an innocent kid back then. Born 19 years ago to the Kokonoses, he grew up normally with his loving parents in a home that was not wealthy, but not poor either. Everyday was happy and full of excitement.
Until one day, when he was five years old, Kuroha's parents had a huge fight. It wasn't clear to him what they fought about, except it must have broken their relationship because his mother declared a divorce. The next day, his father moved away and left them alone. Her mother, having no job and financial resources, abandoned Kuroha on the streets. Luckily, a kind family took him in.
Everything was fine until he started high school. Kuroha had been a weak child from the start, and never had the guts to fight back to anything, so that made him an easy target for bullies. Every day, he was cornered against the lockers by his peers and laughed at. On rainy days, he was pushed into puddles and splashed with cold water, and on sunny days, sun would be reflected onto his skin on a purposeful attempt to fry him.
When he started college, he thought the bullying would go away, and he would have a life of peace waiting ahead of him. But Kuroha's dreams were shattered when the bullies showed up in front of him again. The same daily routine of being pushed, shoved and cornered started again, and he only lived in a daze where the same day was looping over and over again.
Suddenly, one day, a white haired girl entered his life. Her name was Marry Kozakura. When Kuroha was pushed against the wall, slightly trembling, Marry walked up from behind them and, although shakily and nervously, stood up for him. Although she was extremely scared, she didn't run away. Kuroha admired her for that, and the two soon became friends. They went to class together, ate lunch together, went home together and were almost never seen without each other. It was hard to believe they were 'just friends'. However, their relationship was purely platonic.
The girl that saved him was the one who destroyed him. Soon, a guy named Kousuke Seto confessed to Marry, and they became a couple. Marry no longer went home with Kuroha, and she didn't sit with him at the cafeteria anymore. She didn't respond to any of his texts and she rarely talked to him. Slowly, Kuroha became depressed and he lost all meaning of life. He started cutting himself, and thinking of suicide...
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Crouched in the corner on the bank of a deserted river, Kuroha laughed. So this day had finally come. Beside him was a bottle of water and some sleeping pills, and in front of him was a bowl filled with charcoal and a box of matches.
He opened his phone and clicked on the familiar blue icon of the app Twitter. Maybe I'm not alone in this cruel, small world, he thought. Maybe someone still cares for me. He was afraid, afraid of dying. Of course he was. It was a natural human feeling of fear towards the end of their life. He was afraid of the sleeping pills that would slowly force him into a deep slumber. Afraid of the charcoal that would take away his breath and oxygen. But, he was more afraid of the cold, heartless people of the world.
20XX Aug. 15 02:19 AM
Kuroha Kokonose megasaeru
I want to kill myself.
[click to enlarge photo]
With the message, he attached a photo of the bottle of sleeping pills and charcoal in front of him. Within seconds, comments flooded. Kuroha did have a high popularity on the web; he is an artist. He started posted his drawings onto the web a few years ago and his fame rose. Kuroha laid his back against the wall and glanced at the various comments.
kirakiraprismshine: NO! DON'T DO THAT!
skyanime123: You aren't being serious, are you? You can't do that!
pridedancerpride: Don't!
...And so on. The comments flooded across his screen, each one telling him not to do what he had planned to. Suddenly, one comment caught his eye:
balloffluff: Kuroha...? You're not being serious, right? No... Throw those things away! Don't die!
Kuroha laughed. He laughed, and laughed, and laughed. He laughed until his stomach hurt. He lit a cigarette and sighed at the taste of the bad habit he had thrown away months ago. His fingers flew across the screen as he typed a response.
20XX Aug. 15 02:20 AM
Kuroha Kokonose megasaeru
balloffluff You don't even talk to me anymore. So when I'm about to die, you suddenly remember me? I'm not the one you love, so why try to save me? Because if I die, you'll think it's your fault?
Again, comments flooded. This time, there were still many comments telling him to stop this nonsense, but this time, there were more negative comments.
callmequeen: She's only helping. What's wrong with you? If you want to die then why not go ahead?
candycanelove: Another chuunibyou shounen?
XXX: No. Pay for my cellular data first.
HimeDono: Are you dead yet?
KuchisakeOnna: If you wanna die just hang a rope around your neck or jump already. You're just showing your own weakness right now, you bastard.
With a swish, he lit a match. Smiling, he dropped it into the bowl of charcoal. Red flames danced across the black pieces, and Kuroha laughed harder. He gulped down the sleeping pills with the help of some water. The bottle fell to the ground with a plonk.
20XX Aug. 15 02:24 AM
Kuroha Kokonose megasaeru
Are you guys happy now?
[click to enlarge photo]
The photo showed the empty bottle of sleeping pills and the burning charcoal.
XXX: Yes.
HimeDono: Hahahahaha that's right.
The comments were basically all the same. All saying how happy they were when they saw Kuroha's life fading. Nice comments still existed, but they were rare. The mean ones overrode the caring ones, and slowly, Kuroha lost confidence in life. Why was he born? Just so the ones he cared for could throw him away? Just so he could be pushed into lockers and have a horrible life?
His eyes drooped, and he felt his breath weaken. His eyes widened. He started panic. He was going to die.
20XX Aug. 15 02:30 AM
Kuroha Kokonose megasaeru
My breath is weakening. My mind is shutting down. The sleeping pills have started to do their work. I'm dying, and even if I don't want to, there's nothing I can do now.
Kuroha laid back against the wall and sighed. It really was going to end, isn't it? This life...
Even in the end, he was still the pierrot that nobody cared for.
It was all this cruel, small world's fault.
The reason I wrote this story was because I want to bring some attention to a certain thing that happened that I came across one day. This story is based off of a real event that happened last month.
On , which is a Chinese video-sharing website similar to NicoNico Douga, there was a singer who sang covers of anime/Vocaloid songs who went by the name of Neu. His voice was very, very gentle-sounding and his covers are wonderful. One day, he announced on Weibo (similar to Twitter) that he was going to commit suicide. He live streamed his suicide process. This brought many spectators, and though many were telling him to stop, the majority said the same mean things the spectators did in this story. Many were treating his suicide like a joke, and so Neu died.
When I read about this, I was shocked. When someone is about to commit suicide, the right thing to do is not telling him to actually go ahead! With the words of these spectators, this encouraged Neu to suicide. They just killed a teenage boy who had a wonderful voice!
Neu's most famous cover is of the Vocaloid song Pierrot. I guess this story is somehow dedicated to Neu-san - may you rest in peace. It's cold out there...
~Chinnie Ai