This is one of a hopefully long line of skits based on the videogame series. I did these skits with some help from real world items, so be warned!
Eggman and the Wii Fit
For reasons unexplained, Eggman happens to have obtained a Wii Fit. Hilarity ensues. If you don't have Wii Fit and don't understand this…that's bad. But, I can't help you. I'm sorry.
(We see a futuristic laboratory, belonging to the evil doctor we all know well. A feel plans lay spread across a table downstage left and a Wii Balance board, console, and television are arranged respectively center stage. EGGMAN, an obese bald man with a funny mustache enters. SONIC crawls in on a ceiling rafter with a bag of chips.)
SONIC: So the rumors are true!
(EGGMAN doesn't hear him)
EGGMAN: Ah, now I finally have a Wii Fit. Now I can work to maintain my perfect figure.
Sonic: (scoffs) Perfect my running shoes!
EGGMAN: Ah, yes let's see…
WII BALANCE BOARD: Step on. (EGGMAN obeys) Oh. Measuring, measuring, measuring, measuring.
SONIC: (lying down on his stomach, opening bag of chips) This should be good.
(Scale goes up on Wii Fit, SONIC and EGGMAN speak together, SONIC with excitement, EGGMAN with terror.)
SONIC and EGGMAN: Underweight, healthy weight, at risk of being overweight, obese…
(Then, they both speak at same time)
EGGMAN: Wait!
SONIC: Huh?
BOTH: Severely overweight, fat lard?!
(SONIC bursts out laughing, EGGMAN looks panicked)
EGGMAN: No, that can't be true! That…what's that noise? (steps off BALANCE BOARD, looks around angrily.) Who's there? Show yourself!
(SONIC at this point is dying from laughter. He falls to the ground at EGGMAN'S feet, holding onto his sides and crying, his face red.)
EGGMAN: (surprised and angry) Sonic?! What are you doing here?!
SONIC: (barely able to breathe) I…ahaha!...they sent me to spy (laughter) on you (laughter, tears)!
EGGMAN: How dare you disturb me! And, stop laughing! What is so funny?
SONIC: (gasps for air and sits up, wincing) Ow, stitch in my side. (laughter winds down) heh, heh. Ow. You're funny, Egghead. (looks up at him) Heh. "Fat Lard", heh. (he begins to chuckle again, wincing in pain)
EGGMAN: (embarrassed) Well…(has an idea) if you're so confident, why don't we test you?
SONIC: (wipes tears from his eyes) Okay, fine. (steps on balance board)
WII BALANCE BOARD: Measuring, measuring, measuring.
(Scale begins to go up, SONIC watches proudly while EGGMAN is stupefied. It stops on the line just after Underweight and before Normal)
SONIC: You see? You won't get there in two centuries!
EGGMAN: You cheated!
SONIC: How?! It's impossible to cheat!
EGGMAN: You'd know.
SONIC: Well, now that I know that I'm normal and you're not, I'm outta here! (speeds offstage right)
EGGMAN: (sigh) Oh well, I'd better start this thing.
(CURTAIN!)