A Morning Reverie
"For the heaven's sake say this feeling is wrong! God this cannot turn out to be true" Rey pleaded to his own illustration in the mirror. Today was not his day! Or it was? He wasn't able to make out. The dream he saw this morning was no less than a poison swathed in a candy. Leaning on one fact, morning dreams get fulfilled, but if seen practically this isn't true. He so wished to believe the second theory but regretted the fact that his mind was endlessly thinking about the accomplishment of his dream or somewhat to be said intuition. He could see his body bathing in the golden light of the mounting sun coming in from the window.
He saw that very blessed figure standing beside him again in his reverie, dancing with him, holding his hand, looking deep in his painful eyes ,asking him why he didn't come to find how she was? Ever! Asking him why he put her out of his mind? ...
"Kriya is gone Reyansh...She won't come"
He calmed his aching heart, knowing a little will be its effect. Watching her in his dreams was not a new thing but for a change he saw her dream after a long time and that too when he was committed with another girl. Constantly his mind calmed his thoughts, why it was affecting him so much this day? Why particularly this day?
He gently bit the crumbs of sandwich while lost in his own world. Not even sensing that his love was just sitting right next to him throwing her sweet rants in his ears. Gradually things started taking their original place in his life. He followed the same routine; Pulling vicky's leg, talking sweetly with Sharon, teasing swayum and ruffling his hairs, meeting taani at fire exit, a very bit of studies.
But more he tried to hide his insecurities...More he find himself getting deeper in that pool of gloom...
Alas! At night 'He found his way to spit out his frustration...
He turned off the lights of dance rehearsal hall. He played on one of the toughest beats; enforcing his whole heart in it, dusting off' all the dust which got piled over his emotions in this mean time. Gladly, he found it easier doing this way. His face bathed with sweat and eye's looked even more tired. Or was it possibly due to crying?
For an instance crying was also of no use...He could not even perform his penance...But then he thought why should he say sorry?
Unwillingly his essence was continuously putting him behind the bars. Was he on a wrong ground?
But it was she who left him? Wasn't it?
So what? Didn't you love her? Don't you? You could have easily stopped her in that minute only! True lover don't back off Reyansh!
But wasn't she a forge lover then? The same thing applies on her!
If you think so... then you probably didn't love her...or ever loved her...What about the kriya you knew? How can you change a view about a person just in a minute? ...And more about a person you were in Love?
You don't love a stranger? Right?
He felt limp. Not able to respond to his essence anymore, Feeling his esophagus getting filled up to the brim; Just heading to blow out from his mouth, Feeling his lungs being getting devoid of air, getting crushed more and more.
When did the tables turned? Why it took this much long to introspect and more when he was already committed to other girl?
He showed his hands in sir with full power yet managing to perform on those sturdy beats.
I told the birds to sing me to sleep
And I told the moon to watch over me
And I fell asleep so very gently
My dreams felt like God's own fantasy
He felt a pair of arms wrapping around his bunching muscles of his shoulders. It was the very warmness he had been familiar with. It was the similar warm tingling flesh. He placed his palms over them, radiated his very tender heat.
"Kriyaa...?" he said stammering.
And then the morning light pulled my dreams aside
I was wide awake and I heard a voice that cried
Wake up, wake up! This day's not waiting for you
His eyes filled with tears of atonement. Just waiting for a chance to flow down, and let them falter all the way around.
Wake up, wake up my love! I know, I know
dreams often feel better than life
but you cannot hide.
He caught her slender waist and stood mum; not willing to act as it might be a dream again and he didn't wished to wake up so soon without saying a final sorry?
He stared in those loving eyes filled with so much emotions and things to blabber out. But yet keeping quite to live the millennium moment.
So I got out, took on the sunlight
my love was asleep; because she danced all night
on the rooftops and the backyards
with shining eyes and soundless paws
He sensed her palm caress his audacity. This was all he wanted!-Her presence. But yet again he wished of a much more than that.
He cupped her face in his palm, leaned forward aiming at her parted lips. He inhaled her breaths and took her whiff in his every cell. He shut his eye lids and drowned much deeper in ecstasy.
He touched her flamed glistened skin, yet again to confirm she was true.
And he did for what he had been waiting for long, captured her kips with hungry urgency. And he reclaimed her mouth. Savagely. Searching. Sensually.
And she sang
"Life is beautiful, don't you see?
Life is beautiful,
come with me.
For how long was he holding her? He didn't knew, it was like a lost kid has finally found his home. As if a wasp has finally found its fig partner. As if a lost sun was finally among his known planets.
He kissed her, after so long, that' mere difference left between the fulfilling of a dream and reality was diminished. He kissed her, forgetting all what fate had done to ruin their happy world and eventually succeeded also. He kissed her as if he won't get any chance to rewind and restart this again.
Life is beautiful when you dance.
Come and dance with me now,
His tongue made sweeping, swirling motions inside her mouth; Marking every cell of her of his. This can't be true his mind said knowing she can't return but his heart was ignoring the sayings, it kept on indulging more and more with its lost love.
Come and dance with me,
we're going to dance all night long
And then we'll sing the dancing song
He parted his lips from her ripened lips to fetch some oxygen to his throbbing mind. But as he opened his eyes after that...He saw nothing, nobody!
Where did she go?
Where?
This can't be true? Was it all again a meager dream?
Come back! Come back to me!
We're going to sing the dancing song.
And then the wind will be singing with us, and
Was it all a mere dream? If it was then he would like to pray the god never show him a dream which cannot get fulfilled.
He felt alone, not even the dance could wash off his emotions. Suddenly the guilt of not remembering her overtook his heart and he broke down; Lost in the heaps of agitated unfulfilled dreams.
Then the stars will dance with us.
"I Love you" he said...maybe for the last time as it took enough strength of his to speak it out.
"Come back" he hissed while drinking his tears, yet knowing all his desires and dreams will be just a fragment of fiction, and nothing else.
And the moon will be laughing with us
and all the night will be happy with us together.
He caressed his lips that just mated with her trembling lips in his awakening fantasy. And stared at the door to find clue of any lively flesh, thinking it might be his kriya on way...she might be coming any moment...she might be calling his name again...
But all he could see was the golden light of the mounting sun coming in from the window.
Yet again.