A Gift For A Hag
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor hope to profit from the characters and Harry Potter books. This is just for fun. I have very few galleons and if Griphook is looking for me, do not inform him that is my pen name.
Also, reviews would be greatly appreciated.
Note: This is one spin-off of my many Snape fics yet to be posted. It somewhat coincides with what will be The Mental Mentorship trilogy.
I am not going to say this will be short, because I do that and end up eating my Sorting Hat. This fic is pure evil….yet funny!
Chapter 1: The Perfect Gift
Professor Severus Snape was livid.
He had just walked out of Professor Dumbledore's office and was greatly displeased by the conversation that they just had.
The Hogwarts professors held a grab bag for every holiday, including Valentine's Day. Professor Snape had never taken a sick day once since he started working at Hogwarts as Potions Master and he didn't plan on it now. Actually, how could one do it the same day every year? Dumbledore was sentimental but certainly not foolish. Also, Dumbledore made sure that Valentine's Day was the day that a direct deposit of salaries was made at Gringott's bank for that month.
The staff, who all lived at Hogwarts from September through June, loved the tradition---all with the exception of Professor Snape.
In the Headmaster's office, Dumbledore had insinuated that the gift that Professor Snape gave to Professor Vector last year would not be acceptable for this year. Something a little more suitable was warranted. Actually, Dumbledore felt it had left much to be desired.
Well, Dumbledore hadn't just come right out and said it. He had given Professor Snape a knowing look and Professor Snape, accomplished in legilimency, had interpreted what the look meant…loud and clear.
Professor Dumbledore had also informed Professor Snape that even though names were selected by each teacher from the Sorting Hat, it just so happened that Professor Snape had gotten Professor Vector again. He assured Professor Snape that the Sorting Hat did his best to ensure that names were pulled randomly. Dumbledore told Professor Snape he could always overrule this and switch Professor Vector for Dolores Umbridge.
Professor Dumbledore said that Professor McGonagall, who had selected Umbridge, would certainly understand. She might even be more than happy to oblige him.
Professor Snape had decided right then and there that he had no desire to switch.
Dumbledore also pointed out to Snape that it was not polite to tag a gift as such:
Dear,( hastily crossed out)
To a miserable hag,
Happy Insufferable Fool's Day.
Unfortunately, (also, hastily crossed out)
From: Professor Severus Snape
Severus Snape could not understand why the truth was frowned upon so?
Professor Snape was very disappointed. He regrettably, would not be sending Vector ten dozen blood lollipops from Honeydukes as he did the year before.
Skulking, he realized that he would have to present her with what Dumbledore considered a "decent" gift.
Unfortunately, Professor Snape did not know the first thing about such rubbish.
He had never had a valentine.
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
2 hours later…
Even though Professor Snape had tons of essays to grade, the rolls of parchment collecting on his desk, and preparations to make for the following week's Potions classes, his work would have to suffer.
Snape resented this intrusion on his perfectly organized schedule and its usually flawless execution.
Saturday was now reserved for shopping for a gift for Valentine's Day, to be given to an incessantly irksome fool.
Professor Snape took his traveling cloak off of the hook in his office and swung it over his shoulders. He sealed off the door to his office with a charm and headed for the Great Hall.
Professor Snape swept quickly through the corridors of the school. His thoughts were filled with the disturbing task at hand. He felt as if someone could possibly detect what he was about to do. He knew in reality, they could not, but he could not shake the fear and foreboding of possible exposure.
He never made eye contact with passing eyes, and today he was being extra careful about doing so. He did not wish for anyone to question his destination for that afternoon. Since the students had no scheduled classes on Saturdays, the chance of that occurring had dwindled somewhat.
The staff would be another matter entirely. They usually inquired about his health, his classes, or his whereabouts from time to time, just to be polite and well-mannered.
He especially hoped if he encountered anyone, they would not do so today.
He also wanted to make sure that just because he gifted Vector with a present for the holiday gift bag, it was implicitly clear that the dunderhead was NOT his valentine.
The blood lollipops would have undeniably made it so. However, Dumbledore had foiled his plan. Professor Snape's thoughts went very quickly to Dolores Umbridge before he sneered, cleared his thoughts, and kept walking out the front doors and to Hogsmeade.
There were days when Professor Snape was very pleased at himself for mastering occlumency.